


Solidarity

by xNoLights



Series: Echos [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Graphic Description of Corpses, Humor, Mild Gore, Past Domestic Violence, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Romance, Shakarian - Freeform, Turians are bae, Unresolved Emotional Tension, healthy relationship, long story, written for myself
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-30 16:49:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 57
Words: 90,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6432502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xNoLights/pseuds/xNoLights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The events and story of Mass Effect 1 with Echo Shepard. Mild Canon Divergence, hopefully found to be an interesting read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shake Down

            Panting, she looked into the mirror and then closed her eyes tightly. “Not again” she whimpered as she retched and stumbled backwards to the toilet, losing what little was left in her stomach. She’d been resting, on her Captain’s orders. When Anderson had learned that she had been up nearly a week with maybe five hours total of sleep, he’d ordered her to take a sedative and try to get at least eight. It had worked, for the first four… but then more nightmares of the pain she felt in her heart and there she was, stumbling from the bunks and sweating. Sickness rippling through her with such a violent force it was a miracle she was standing.  
            She then sat back, still panting, and leaned against the wall of the stall, the cold metal nice on her head as she just stared into space. Her hand gripping her heart as she willed herself not to cry, crying wouldn’t help her… and she was sure she had no more tears to shed over this. This mission was supposed to take her mind off it, but it just gave her more time that she needed to herself, especially when it literally was the most docile shake down she could have imagined.  
            “Commander Shepard?” asked a familiar, or at least by now it was familiar, dual toned voice. Shepard looked up, her brown eyes watering as she saw the Turian specter holding the stall door open and looking down at her with what she was going to assume was shock. “Commander, are you alright?” he asked again, now kneeling.  
            “ _Damn these fucking coed bathrooms_ ” she thought as she jerked away from a three fingered hand coming towards her. The sharp movement did her no favors as she then gripped the edge of the toilet and gave up more bile to the plumbing. She was exhausted, too much so to even move away from the alien hand that was now patting her back.  
            “Do you need me to fetch Dr. Chakwas?” he asked. Was that concern on his voice? Shepard had really no clue how to judge alien’s tones. Especially turians because she could definitely hear that second sound and she could always hear it. Unlike the rest of the crew she was able to hear whatever high or low pitch Specter Kryik was letting out. It mildly annoyed her at times, especially since she heard it nearly constantly. That’s how she knew he was always near…  
            “No” she panted as she put a hand over her eyes and leaned on the toilet. “Sorry Specter Kryik, I appreciate the concern however” she said politely. There was that damned sound again, well… she shouldn’t say damned, it was just beginning to wear on her because she could constantly hear it around her, even when she had been hoping for some privacy in the shower. At this point she was swearing that it was her brain playing pranks on her too.  
            “Are you ill?” he asked gently.  
            “No… Recovering, had nightmare… got sick as physical response to avoid emotional one” she explained as she ran her hand over her hair, it had grown considerably. Already beginning to stand up at weird angles, however not as long as she would have liked it.  
            “I see, something that could distract you from the mission?”  
            “No, I was praying for a distraction from it via the mission”  
            “May I ask what it is?”  
            “Heartbreak…”  
            “I see… Humans respond similarly to turians then” he observed out loud.  
            Shepard just laughed weakly and looked at the blood red and white face near hers. “Do they now? Turians get physically ill when they are in emotional distress?”  
            Nihlus clicked at her laugh, however he then seemed to give out a barely there one of his own. “Depends on the Turian, but we can’t produce tears like a human, we don’t cry when sad or in pain” he explained. “We keen, it’s a dreadful sound” he added as he watched her watch him.  
            Shepard loved to learn, and she hated to admit it, but she found aliens fascinating. Turians especially were cool. They reminded her of dinosaurs; Shepard loved dinosaurs, ever since she was a little type running around on the streets alone, she found herself inside a museum more than once just looking at all the things that were ancient and a mystery to her. Turians were like that to her, deadly predators, but with a cool and complex culture that seemed simple on the surface but was deeply engraved with more subtle traits. “Is it wrong I both wish to hear that sound, and yet pray I never see one of your species in enough pain to produce it?” she asked.  
            “Not at all, surprising actually.” He then gave a breath of a chuckle and stood, offering her a hand. Shepard gave a weak smile but hauled herself up. With a light nod of his head he then left the bathroom leaving Shepard alone to herself once more.  
            The cold set in then, Shepard leaned on the sink and looked at herself. She hated what she saw: An emotionally broken young woman who felt as old as dirt and couldn’t manage to get herself together for shit. Maybe it was just time she give up on everything, go live off on the wilds of some uncharted planet and die alone and of starvation.  
            “ _Knock it off you stupid moronic dandy_ ” she told herself mentally before turning on the sink and washing her face. After gargling some of the refreshingly cold water she stood straight and cracked her neck. “You can do this. You’ve survived worse than a mean little bitch’s words and betrayal.” With that she took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. She had to go and suit up, report for duty… pray Anderson didn’t have her hide for only sleeping eight hours.  
  
            Commander Echo Vesper Shepard, Alliance Marine, Earthborn orphan, fought to the death on Elysium and came back from it with a hero’s title. At least that’s what it said on her file. In truth, Shepard viewed herself as just some moron trying to get a footing in life somewhere. The Military had finally offered her something stable once she’d turned eighteen. Even more so when they gave her a surname… something she hadn’t had before joining. She never knew her parents; she wished she did though… as bitter as she pretended to be, she had so many questions as to who she was. Growing up alone on the streets had been dangerous, and most young woman who had didn’t end up nearly as sound of mind as Shepard was.  
            Shepard was hard on herself, she kept trying to reach the impossible standards she set herself for, what was shocking was that sometimes she met them. Right now however, she was pushing herself to get over probably the worst heartbreak of her life. She’d truly believed she’d found the one, the one who was going to love her for the rest of her life. Now she was alone again, and doubting that she was worth any effort what so ever. Every chance on the field was yet another opportunity for the pain to end… only for her to remember that getting herself killed would get whoever else was with her killed. She wasn’t someone who ever left someone to suffer and that wasn’t about to start just because of the stupid emotions she felt.  
            Shepard was a mashup of a solider; she mostly liked to stay out of the way, Infiltration and long range attacks were her style of choice. However from years of living on the street and letting the lifestyle that had been thrust onto her turning her into someone who could take a punch; Shepard was good at hand to hand combat, and that was her being humble. She was fast, strong, and limber; to her dismay, the thrill of fighting gave her a rise, she hated the minor part of herself that actually liked the feeling of bone and flesh being destroyed with her hands.  
            That’s why she kept to long range; she couldn’t stand the part of herself that enjoyed that bloodlust. It was the part of her that always managed to pull herself from the abyss of death and got her spurring to save herself and everyone else.  
            Personality wise, Shepard was usually a silent person. She liked to listen rather than speak, and only spoke when she needed to. Otherwise, she felt better listening, observing… _learning_. That’s how she had survived all this time, she’d watched and learned from it. With a silent mouth came a very active brain however… and with that came boredom easily. Shepard couldn’t be left to her own devices without any sort of goal, she’d end up having to find something for herself to do, and depending on the level of activity she felt up for, that went from spying on people, to hacking into things and snooping around.  
            In her free time, she liked reading. Books were great in her opinion; paper ones that smelled old and comforting. Stories on any medium were good in her opinion; she loved listening to the crew talk about various things, various experiences and what they had thought. Sometimes she’d hide away in a corner, doodle on her digital sketch pad. On occasion when the feeling struck her she would write little things, ranging from poetry to short stories about various things… mostly love. The one thing she wished was in her life… but even she knew it was nearly impossible.  
            Standing straight, she leaned on Joker’s chair slightly and watched out the front of the Normandy with him. Full armor was something she found a little more tedious than she would have liked, especially since she knew she was prone to get shot, she opted for a medium build. The balance of safety and give for movability served her style best. On her back was a shotgun, pistol, and her beloved rifle. It was the same one that had been given to her just after basic, and it was the one she would use to the end of time if she could.  
  
            “Thrusters, Check. Navigation, Check. Internal Emissions Sync, Engaged. All Systems online. Drift, just under fifteen hundred k.” said Joker as he then leaned back in his seat and waited.  
            “Fifteen hundred is good, your Captain will be pleased” said Nihlus as he then looked at Shepard and gave her the slightest bow of his head, to which she returned. After that, he left to go about whatever business he had.  
            “I hate that guy” muttered Joker as he sulked.  
            Kaidan, a Sentinel classed Biotic sat in the copilot seat. Not altogether a bad guy, Shepard thought he was decent enough, maybe a little too eager to spend time around her sometimes, but she had no problems with him. He then spoke up, his tone mildly chiding, “Nihlus just gave you a compliment… so you hate him?”  
            Joker snorted, “Remembering to zip up your jumpsuit on your way out of the bathroom? That’s Good! I just jumped us half way across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pin head! So that’s INCREDIBLE!” He then looked at Kaidan and scowled, “Besides, Specters are trouble; I don’t like having them on board.” He looked back to his controls, “Call me paranoid.”  
            “You’re paranoid, The Council helped fun this project. They have a right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment.” Kaidan replied.  
            Joker again made a sarcastic sound, “Yeah, that’s the “Official” story. Only an idiot believes the “Official” story”  
  
            “Well, they don’t send Specters on shake down runs” shrugged Shepard as she crossed her arms and leaned back, admiring all the stars out the windows in front of her. She loved stars, best part about being an Alliance Marine, she got to be amongst them, see space and all it’s beauty upfront.  
            “So, there’s more here than the Captain’s letting on.” Hummed Joker as he typed in a command and then looked at Kaidan sideways, he jumped when the com started.  
            “Joker! Status Report!” commanded the voice of Captain Anderson through the comm.  
            Joker calmed himself in a split second and spoke, “Just cleared the mass relay Captain. Stealth systems engaged, everything looks solid.”  
            “Good. Find a com buoy and link us into the network. I want mission reports relayed back to Alliance brass before we reach Eden Prime”  
            “Aye aye Captain” Joker then continued, “Better brace yourself, sir. I think Nihlus is heading your way”  
            “He’s already here, Lieutenant” said Anderson with no small amount of scorn in his voice. Joker shook his head, embarrassed slightly. “Tell Commander Shepard to meet me in the comm room for debriefing.”  
            “You get that Commander?”  
            “Great, you piss off the Captain and now I’m gonna pay for it” sighed Shepard as she rubbed her temple with her fingers and turned to walk towards the comm room. This day just kept getting better and better.  
  
            She’d dawdled a little to get to the comm room, stopping to chat with Pressley and then Chakawas and Jenkins. She was dreading getting yelled at because of the stupid things joker had said, why could he never keep his mouth shut when he needed to?  
            Walking in she didn’t see the Captain and only Nihlus standing there with his back to her, watching the screen before him. She had to admit, turians were pretty cool, on the field they could be your worst nightmare, yet could be completely civil and professional outside of it. It reminded her of humans a bit… but less soft and squishy and more pointy and rough.  
            “Commander Shepard, I was hoping you’d get here first. It will give us a chance to talk” spoke Nihlus as he turned and looked at her. Shepard simply nodded and stood at attention with her arms behind her back. Again retreating to her usual self of few words, all ears. She noticed his eyes however, that was a striking, and very eye catching shade of green. Did turians realize how eye catching they were?  
            “I’m interested in this world we’re going to” he paused, “Eden Prime. I’ve heard it’s quite beautiful”  
            “Some say it’s a paradise” offered Shepard, her eyes tracking him as he lightly paced in front of her.  
            “Yes, a Paradise. Serene. Tranquil. Safe. Eden Prime has become something of a symbol to your people” he looked at her, “hasn’t it? Proof that humanity can not only establish colonies across the galaxy, but also protect them. But how safe is it? Really?” Shepard remained silent, only nodding her head slowly to acknowledge she understood what he was saying. “Your people are still newcomers Shepard. The galaxy can be a very dangerous place.”  
            Shepard was about to open her mouth before he continued. “Is the Alliance truly ready for this?”  
            Shepard closed her mouth then and just looked at him carefully; her hands coming from behind her back and crossing across her chest. The look she was giving him had to say it all. Luckily Anderson walked in. “I think it’s time we told the Commander about what’s really going on”  
            “This mission is far more than a simple shake down run” Nihlus informed.  
            Shepard smirked a little before standing straight again, “I figured there was something you weren’t telling me sir” she said to Anderson facing him and standing once again as straight as a board, her hands behind her back professionally.  
            “We’re making a covert pick-up on Eden Prime. That’s why we needed the stealth systems operational” he told her, his tone even and calm.  
            Shepard merely nodded again, “This comes down from the top Commander. Information on a strictly need to know basis” Anderson continued. “A research team on Eden Prime unearthed some kind of beacon during an excavation. It was Prothean.”  
            “I thought the Protheans vanished fifty thousand years ago” she breathed out, a little more than shocked, but very interested in this information. For more than just the mission’s sake.  
            “Their legacy still remains. The mass relays, The Citadel, our ship drives… it’s all based on Prothean Technology.” Nihlus added, his interest piqued as he saw her intensely listen and store away the information.  
            “This is big Shepard. The last time humanity made a discovery like this, it jumped our technology forward two hundred years.” Anderson took a glance between the Commander and then Nihlus before continuing. “But Eden Prime doesn’t have the facilities to handle something like this. We need to bring the beacon back to The Citadel for proper study.  
            “Obviously this goes beyond mere human interests, Commander.” Nihlus fought to hide the smirk he wanted to give when she looked at them, those brown eyes giving him a look that told him that she understood all this. “This discovery could affect every species in Citadel space.” It didn’t surprise him when she put all the pieces together on her own inside her head. He could see the gears running in her head as she thought about it all. He was sure now. “The beacon isn’t the only reason I’m here Shepard” He found he liked saying her name.  
            “Nihlus wants to see you in action Commander. He’s here to evaluate you” Anderson told her, watching as she turned to looked at Nihlus. He could see it too, he knew Shepard to be on the quiet side, but he’d seen it the first time he met her, she was sharp and always thinking.  
            “Guess that explains why I bump into him every time I turn around” Shepard didn’t even bother to hide the trace amounts of humor in her voice; even giving a slight smile when she heard the turian chuckle under his breath.  
            “The Alliance has been pushing for this for a long time” he started to pace quietly, “Humanity wants a larger role in shaping interstellar policy. We want more say in The Citadel Council.” He turned to look at her seriously, his words holding a lot of weight. “The Specters represent The Council’s power and authority. If they accept a human into their ranks, it shows how far the Alliance has come.”  
            The shocked look on Shepard’s face told Nihlus that she hadn’t been considering herself being evaluated to join the Specters. Internally he smiled at that, he’d noticed that she didn’t give herself enough credit. “You held off an enemy assault during the Blitz single-handed. You showed not only courage, but also incredible skill. That’s why I put your name forward for the Specters.”  
            Shepard gaped at him for a moment, before she just closed her mouth and looked away wide eyed. She’d never even thought of herself as particularly special. Good at her job, yes, but enough for a turian Specter to put her name forward to join such an elite group? She didn’t question it however; she knew how Specters were handpicked based on their skills and talents. If Nihlus had put her name forward then he must think she was worth it. “I assume this will be good for the Alliance?”  
            “Earth needs this Shepard. We’re counting on you” Anderson told her, he stood straight but the look he gave her said all the same that he was at least a little proud, he had trained and watched over her for the majority of her career so far.  
            “I need to see your skills for myself Commander. Eden Prime will be the first of several missions together” Nihlus told her, moving to stand next to her, a little closer than she would have liked but she made no fuss, just accepted it.  
            “You’ll be in charge of the ground team. Secure the beacon and get it onto the ship ASAP. Nihlus will accompany you to observe the mission” Anderson sounded hopeful for her, something that put Shepard at ease. If he was putting confidence in her she could find it in herself to make him proud.  
            “Just give the word Captain”  
  
            Anderson was about to open his mouth to continue speaking before Joker rang in. “Captain, we have a problem”  
            “What’s wrong Joker?”  
            “Transmission from Eden Prime sir. You’d better see this!”  
            Anderson looked concerned, before moving towards the screen and watching it carefully, “Bring it on screen”  
            Shepard watched what seemed to be active combat on the screen before her. The sounds of gunfire and panic nothing new to her ears as she watched a female solider pull another one to what she was assuming was cover. That’s when she saw it, a strange… almost hand like craft coming from the sky. It was there for a split second before the message continued, more panic before a solider was requesting evacuation and back up. Whatever this was, it wasn’t good and needed Immediate action.  
            “Everything cuts out after that. No comm traffic at all. Just goes dead…there’s nothing” Joker told them with what sounded like fear in his voice.  
            “Reverse and hold at thirty eight point five” ordered Anderson. Nihlus clicked his mandibles in interest, his eyes narrowing as he scanned the image for all he could. Shepard watched, before turning back to the image and looking at it, ingraining everything she could into her mind to keep, just in case. “Status Report!”  
            “Seventeen minutes out Captain, no other Alliance ships in the area.” Informed their pilot.  
            “Take us in Joker, nice and quiet.” He ordered before looking at Nihlus, “This mission just got a whole lot more complicated.”  
            “A small strike team can move quickly without drawing attention. It’s our best chance to secure the beacon” the Turian informed before turning to leave.  
            “Grab your gear and meet us in the cargo hold” Anderson told him. He then turned to talk to Shepard only to see her gears turning again, she seemed very concerned. “Tell Alenko and Jenkins to suit up Commander. You’re going in”  
            Shepard didn’t look at him, she just continued to stare at the image on screen with such concentration, she only snapped out of it when Anderson lightly touched her arm. Shepard looked at him, before she nodded and then turned, stalking out of the comm room. Guess a simple shake down run was out of the question. She should be concerned… but she was partially glad, it gave her a goal. Now to just not fuck it up.  


	2. Laugh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short, a little bit of filler and some groundwork.

            “Commander”

            “Oh! Fuck! Rainbow Fish dicks! You scared me” bit Shepard as she stood in the shuttle bay and gave her arsenal a good look over to find anything unsatisfactory. The time she was also planning to use to ground herself. She had to go with Jenkins and Alenko, that alone was enough to have the hairs on the back of her neck on end, all senses in hyper drive at the thought of being in a squad again.   
            The dual toned laugh merely made Shepard sigh and give a weak smile. She had to admit, Nihlus wasn’t as bad as everyone wanted to think he was. She guessed it was just speciesism; after all it was an all human ship aside from him. She studied his face, it looked to be in light spirits, perhaps amused? She would eventually figure all this out, she was determined to. She was going to understand turians if it was her last task in this universe.   
            “Rainbow Fish dicks?” he asked, his mandibles fluttered ever so slightly, as if he was trying to hold down a smile. “Colorful choice of words, is that what you were thinking of while examining your rifle?”   
            “No, I was thinking about how I need to keep my shit together. I have two lives under my name to look out for.” She admitted. It was nerve wracking for her to be in this situation again, especially since she had just barely managed to pull herself together enough to not require a psych-eval.   
            “I believe you will do fine, if someone doesn’t make it back… well.” He stopped and leaned his hip against the work bench, “Well, I’ll vouch in your favor”   
            “Why are you being nice to me?” asked Shepard as she looked at him sideways, muscles tensing as if ready to strike.   
            “Don’t tell anyone, but I’m actually rather fond of being social.” He near whispered to her, “And you’re just my type of person to be social with”   
            “Social as in talking? Or…” she drifted off and cleared her throat.   
            “Both, and yes, you’re my type for both” he then flat out laughed, her face was a priceless look of horror.   
            “What? Aliens not your thing?” he leaned in, “I didn’t peg you for a racist”   
            “I’m not!” panicked Shepard as she held up her hands, “No! It’s not that at all!”  
            Shepard’s face morphed into a scowl as she watched him just laugh and then give what she was assuming was a turian grin at her. “You’re fucking with me aren’t you?”   
            “Not yet, I wouldn’t be against it in the least bit however”   
            “No! Like… pulling pranks… joking” she muttered as she hid her face in one of her hands and felt all her blood rush to her face.   
            “A little, you seem like you need a good laugh” he shrugged, “I knew you’d be Specter material after reading your file. Meeting you in person has only solidified that, especially how you seem to handle and hold yourself.”   
            “Nervous wreck?”  
            “Modest, humble, kind, quiet, observant, entertaining”   
            “Ah”   
            “Lonely” he finally said while looking down at her.   
            “Mmm… that obvious huh?” she asked, giving a weak laugh at that. She knew she came off as distant and introverted, to a point she was. It was just hard to trust anyone when her whole life had been nothing but betrayal and pain.  
            “Painfully” he chuckled, “I want us to work together often, I figured in order to earn your trust and appeal to you I should offer my companionship.”  
            “Just so you know… I’m not” she paused before holding her hands up and doing air quotes, “‘Social’ in that sort of sense, not that I haven’t or won’t… but it’s just not something I give out freely”   
            “Fine with me, I do give it out freely, to whomever wants it and appeals to me” he shrugged then and cracked his neck. “It’s a turian thing”   
            “If you’re serious about trying to become friends…” she felt her mouth go dry at the thought of someone close; living, breathing, and actually there close being her friend. “… I am not against the idea”  
            “Good to know” he nodded before standing straight and pulling up his omni-tool, “Here’s my personal addresses, I already have yours.” He told her as she pulled up her own, “Hacked them”   
            “Invasive”   
            “Prepared” he corrected, the smile that came onto her face at that made him feel pretty damn good about himself. “Message me anytime”   
            “Echo”   
            “I know your name”      
            “No, I mean… uh-“   
            “I’m fucking with you”   
            Shepard couldn’t help but give a laugh at that, the only other person she had met that made her actually laugh had been Sophie. It felt good to laugh, and Nihlus had been right... she needed it. She gave him a small wave as he bowed to her a farewell, okay, she could probably find friendship in someone like him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nope, not aiming for romance here. Yes, I am not going to let Nihlus die. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, comments are always appreciated.


	3. Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Losing Jenkins, More cheeky Nihlus, Meeting Ashley.

            Shepard watched the turian specter ready his pistol. She had an ominous feeling crawling up her spine, like something terrible was going to happen to her or someone going down to Eden Prime. Nihlus then looked up at her and gave a smile and a wink, just to give her some ease, he could smell the uneasiness just rolling off her. Something was obviously going on, but he was Nihlus Kryik, best damn specter to ever live… in his opinion.  
            Nodding she took a deep breath and waited, Jenkins and Alenko now walking up to her. Anderson close behind, Shepard tensed further, what was going on that she had this feeling now crawling up her neck? She didn’t have any idea, only to jump slightly when Nihlus walked up behind her and grabbed her elbow. “Shhh”  
            “What?” she whispered.  
            “Take it easy, everything is going to be just fine.”  
            “And if it isn’t?”  
            “Then we handle it” he looked at her face, clearly showing disbelief, “Yes, WE WILL handle it”  
            “Yes sir…”  
            “Nihlus”  
            “…Okay Nihlus”  
            “That’s right Shepard” he then gave her a turian smile and stood at attention, to listen to Anderson who was lecturing Jenkins about something or other. It had to be something trivial since Alenko was just smiling awkwardly.  
            “Someone was doing some serious digging here Captain” came Joker’s voice over the comm.  
            “Your team is going to be the muscle here Commander” said Anderson, his tone stern. “Go in heavy and head straight for the dig site.”  
            “What about survivors Captain?” asked Alenko.  
            “Helping survivors is a secondary Objective! The beacon is your TOP priority!” he ordered.  
            “Approaching drop point one” sounded Joker.  
            Nihlus leaned down to Shepard’s ear and whispered, “My entrance” he then discretely patted her shoulder, “Remember, everything will be just fine.” Shepard just nodded and swallowed thickly, her nerves were getting the best of her again.  
            “Nihlus? You’re coming with us?” asked Jenkins. As if the idea of the turian helping them was something to be shocked.  
            “I move faster on my own” said Nihlus, putting on his cool air again. With that, it was back to business as he took a running start and jumped, his stealth cloaked activated before he landed.  
            Anderson had an eyebrow raised, his face looking like he wanted to smack himself as he heard Jenkins. With a sigh he gathered himself. “Nihlus will scout out ahead. He will feed you status reports throughout the mission. Otherwise I want radio silence.”  
            Shepard nodded, okay for the first time in… pretty much her whole life, someone was being kind to her just because they wanted to, not to get something from her or because of her rank. She felt thankful to Nihlus, for reaching out to her, no she didn’t know him very well yet, but she found that she wanted to… funny how her first real friend ever was an alien… she really was weird for a human.  
            “He can count on us Captain” swore Shepard as she cracked her fingers.  
            “The mission’s yours now Shepard! Good Luck!” commanded Anderson, it really did feel like he could command luck to be good to her. Fortunately Shepard was wiser than that… and knew she needed to depend on skill rather than luck, luck was fickle.  
  
  
            As soon as she was groundside she grabbed her rifle and gave it a loving stroke before taking point. It took her a few seconds to fall back into her leader role, but she accomplished it. Working alone had been far easier…  
            Nothing could ever go well for her, she knew that as soon as she heard the drones. Mere seconds after she had sent Jenkins in first he was shot down, and just a split second before that she had heard them; at that she split into two selves. The one who was angry and was going to obliterate anything that crossed her path, and the part of her that was now weeping inside for the fallen solider; she couldn’t honestly pick just one… but when was she ever just one feeling?  
            “Tore right through his shields… never stood a chance” muttered Alenko as he stood and then looked at Shepard. He was questioning her, asking her with body language what they should do.  
            “We’ll get him a proper burial, alert his family… after we complete the mission” she informed, her tone was far less commanding now than it had been. Alenko’s approving nod of acknowledgement gave her little comfort as she took yet another deep breath, counted to ten, and then trudged on.  
            Shepard let Alenko lead, she decided she needed to be ready at the back, cut off any other danger before it could take her other squad mate. Her omni-tool then beeped, quietly she slipped out of view, letting Alenko believe that she was still behind him as he chattered about something she had no opinions on.  
            _I heard a yell, what happened? – N. Kryik_  
            Shepard read the message and sighed, he really was keeping tabs on her closely. She really wanted to believe his concern was genuine, but only about eighty percent of her did. It was a good start though.  
            _Jenkins, KIA, Drones. – E.V. Shepard._  
            She typed out her message quickly before closing her omni-tool and silencing it. He needed to be focusing on the mission, not her wellbeing; she was a trained and well experienced Solider! She could handle this… Right?  
            As much as she wanted to believe she could, there was that small sliver of her that was still wounded and broken. Still remembering all the vile things she had been told, the things that broke her and earned her that six month vacation. However, for now, she had to focus on the fact she had someone else to look after, Kaidan. He was a soldier, a damn good one too… but he was still yet another life that she couldn’t bring herself to even consider putting in jeopardy. Silently, she made her way back to him, he was still chattering, as if she had never even left. Shepard didn’t know whether to take that as him just being oblivious, or she was just that good at her job.  
            “Stay” she bit at Kaidan quietly, her voice hard, a direct order. She wasn’t in the mood anymore to handle any sort of heroism. Not when she could easily handle all this by herself and save herself the heartache and trouble. Luckily he just nodded and hunkered down behind the rocks.  
            “Shepard, answer your damned messages” snipped Nihlus over the comm. He then sighed when he heard her huff, “I’ve got some burned out building here Shepard. A Lot of bodies” he informed. Tone stiff, like he was upset over the sight. He probably was, as cold as Nihlus tended to pretend he was, he did honestly care what happened to people.  
            When she didn’t answer him, Nihlus got a little snippy. “Alenko? Are you there? Where’s Shepard? I have been sending her messages ever since she told me Jenkins when down, are you two alright besides that? Can’t be having my favorite human injured, what would I do to keep me warm at night then?”  
            Alenko looked at Shepard and just stared at her for a bit. Shepard on the other hand was flushing and grinding her teeth. “I’m right here Specter Kryik. No, Alenko and I are not injured, we are not dead, and I don’t keep you warm at night, I sweat I will rip off your talons one by one and turn them into jewelry!”  
            “Aww, you think my talons are pretty enough to be jewelry?” Laughed Nihlus before he took a moment to keep himself from hysterics. He could just imagine the look on her face as he insinuated to Alenko, who he had also noticed was sniffing around her, that she was taken and bedding with him. “I was joking Lieutenant, don’t worry no one is sharing her bed. She’s as single as they come.”  
             “Thank you Nihlus. Please go back to being a professional and well thought of Specter” sighed Shepard as she tried to hide her face and not look at Kaidan, who was now just grinning and laughing a little under his breath. Well… at least this showed he was good natured.  
             “Mmhmm, I’m always a well thought of Specter. Professional… that’s arguable. Besides what’s some fun at your expense among friends?” he asked.  
             “Thanks Nihlus, I think the Commander would like to go back to the missions now though. Please be careful okay?” said Alenko politely as he tried to look at Shepard’s face, smiling still as she avoided his gaze. Nihlus gave a huff and a barely there acknowledgment before the coms went silent again. Okay, maybe Kaidan was more than a little useful.  
_Okay, time to grow a pair and do what you were meant to…_  
            She thought this to herself as she pulled off her rifle, she waited, the perfect shot would come, and it did. One bullet, all three drones exploded in the air. Finally she took a breath and whistled her cue for whoever she had waiting to come to her. Kaidan knew it well enough; he’d been on a few ground side walkthroughs with her. Now she was taking off as soon as he caught up, she had to get moving, that feeling was growing and crawling up her spine again and setting her short hair on end.  
            She heard it before anything else, her ears picking up on the mechanical quips and heavy breathing. She went from a stamina conserving jog to a full sprint, her hands readying her rifle as she ran. Seeing the white and pink armor she skidded slightly, trying to stop but still managed to take the shot. That light flashing and exploding on what she was assuming was a Geth. Not that she had ever seen one in person, only in reports and various research materials.  
            Kaidan was on it; swiftly he threw the Geth in a flash and wave of blue. Well, he was a good solider and an even more talented biotic. Shepard had read his file, she wasn’t about to walk into anything blind. Especially once he had started to try and converse with her more frequently. She was just starting to ease back into being a full human being again; why couldn’t anyone just forget she was a female and not look at her with intimate intentions for a while?  
             Shepard then stood straight and turned her head to look at the person they had just assisted in not being shot to death by murderous robots. Walking over, the woman began to speak. “Thanks for your help! I didn’t think I was gonna make it for a while.” She panted as she smiled at them.  
            Kaidan smiled back and just stood in silence. Shepard walked up and stood at attention, her posture making the other female straighten as well. “Gunnery Chief Williams of the 212, you the one in charge here ma’am?”  
            “Are you wounded Williams?”  Asked Shepard as she looked over her quickly, she couldn’t see anything to cause concern… and while she knew she was coming off stiff, she was just trying to keep her bearings.  
            “A few scrapes and burns. Nothing serious… the others weren’t so lucky” Williams informed as she tried to put together just what Shepard was. Sizing up must be something people did often, at least that’s what Shepard was observing. “Oh man, we were patrolling the perimeter when the attack hit.” She panted a little, she seemed more relaxed, Shepard took that as a sign that Williams wasn’t going to be on the offensive to her. “We tried to get off a distress call, but the cut off out communications. Been fighting for my life ever since”  
            Shepard walked up to her side, she was impressed, to be fighting so hard for so many hours was taxing on stamina and sanity. Williams must be a very capable and skilled soldier to have survived this long on her own in active danger. “Where’s the rest of your squad?”  
            “We tried to double back to the beacon, but we walked right into an ambush. I don’t think any of the others…” she drifted for a second and swallowed thickly, “I think I’m the only one left”  
            Shepard understood, she relaxed her posture slightly and took a gentle tone, “This isn’t your fault Williams. You couldn’t have done anything to save them” she even took the dare to herself and rested her hand on the other woman’s shoulder briefly, trying to comfort her in a professional way.  
            “Yes Ma’am. We held our position as long as we could, until the Geth overwhelmed us” she explained, her tone was a little lighter then. Apparently it had worked and Shepard didn’t look so hard in the gunnery chief’s eyes anymore.  
            Kaidan made an inquisitive noise, “The geth haven’t been seen outside the veil in nearly two hundred years… why are they here now?”  
            “They must’ve come for the beacon” shrugged Ashley, then giving him a quick look asking if he was serious about the question. Of course they were there for the beacon, they could have come at any other time if it was for something else, it was only after they had the beacon that they came. The chances of it being a coincidence were slim to none. “The dig site is close, just over that ridge. It might still be there” she offered.  
            “We could use your help Williams” said Shepard, she could see the fire burning, Williams was far from ready to give up on anything, and she still had some fight in her. That appealed to Shepard, she liked people that had a fire to them. It reminded her of what she was before she was broken.  
            “Aye Aye Ma’am…” Williams then pulled up her assault rifle and checked it, “It’s time for Payback” she growled.  
            Oh yeah, Shepard had already decided she liked her. Anyone who could put up a fight was good people in her book, especially when things looked grim.


	4. Intuition?

            Patience was something Shepard found herself in abundance of… usually. The Geth and husks they were creating were however grinding that thin for her, and eventually she stopped trying to remain cool and collected with her beloved sniper rifle.   
            The loud shot of the shotgun rang across the ridge and surrounding foothills of Eden Prime, the sound shocked Nihlus enough that he nearly fell over. With a small laugh he steadied himself and continued on his scouting, so far he had only noticed just how many Geth were there, as well as how little humans were left. He saw the mutilated bodies of humans that were now husks, glowing and roaming ominously well below him. “Guess she’s getting a little cranky, should have had a snack before leaving Shepard” he muttered to himself as he stalked onward.   
            “Damn! Commander… are you okay?” asked Kaidan as he felt the woman who was leading them rush past and beat a husk across the face with her gun, snapping it’s neck before she blasted it away. He’d never seen her… not calm. Mildly irritated maybe once or twice, but this was some new stuff to him as he ducked and avoided the flying blue body she had just detached from an arm and flung against the rock side behind him.   
            “Get ‘em Commander! Show them what humans can do!” Williams cheered as she held down the trigger of her assault rifle and riddled another husk full of holes. While Kaidan was mildly concerned, Ashley was finding it all too entertaining and blood pumping. She somewhat wished she had the stamina and control enough to handle the electrical charges the husks gave off when someone got to close. However when she had punched one, it took ten minutes for feeling to come back in her arm, and burnt her knuckles.   
            Shepard just growled as a husk’s claws came across her face, before she returned the favor in gusto. It wanted to throw punches? She’d show it what a punch _should_ feel like. Still holding the disembodied arm she began beating the husk with it. Apparently beating a motherfucker with another motherfucker (or part of one) was not something she was above.   
            Energy drained faster now, she noticed that after she had downed the last husk in the area. When was the last time she actually slept? Or got nutrition in general? No wonder Nihlus was showing concern, he probably had been able to tell before she did that her body was weak. Especially since she’d been putting all her basic needs to the back of her mind and ignoring them.   
            Panting, she stood straight and cracked her back and neck, walking up to a trailer and looking at the lock. One wave of her omni-tool and it was open and she was inside, poking around. Nothing of use other than a left behind granola bar, which she took and ripped into; when she offered some to Ashley the woman took it with an appreciative nod, Kaidan however just watched them. How could anyone be eating after what they’d just seen? He was a biotic, he knew he should be taking part of that snack, but he just couldn’t bring himself, seeing the human corpses turned into such gruesome things, and then watching the Commander pretty much rip them apart. His stomach was doing a little bit of a dance at the smell of all the dead and then the images he’d seen. It didn’t help that the Commander had smudges of tar-like blood on her face from the husks; her own open claw marked wounds were starting to scab over.   
            “Commander… can I…” he drifted off and just shook his head before reaching behind him and pulling out a small pack of medigel. “You are covered in that stuff and your own blood” he sighed while kneeling in front of her. She’d kicked up a crate and plopped down on it, and now she was ignoring him for the most part. That was until he moved to touch her.   
            Her hand caught his wrist quickly and sharply, she didn’t look at him, just popped the final bite of her reward into her mouth and chewed. Kaidan sat there, mildly afraid of what she might do, he was realizing more and more that the commander wasn’t some very meek sniper who barely talked and was always just a bit annoyed.   
            She swallowed and then let his wrist go, “Don’t worry about it, I’m tougher than I look” she informed. Which was true, she wasn’t exactly the toughest looking person if you looked at her physique alone, especially since she had spent six months lounging in an Irish inn crying her eyes out and eating whatever she pleased, as much as she pleased. True, she’d tightened up a fair bit once she got back in action, but places that she was used to being hard muscle were now soft and a little too… squishy for her liking.   
            “Yes ma’am” said Kaidan as he stood.   
            “Williams though has some burns on her knuckles, and one of her neck, if you want to be helpful in the medical sense.” She informed. She was tired, worn out, irritated, and starving… it wasn’t that she didn’t like Kaidan, she just didn’t want anyone touching her at this moment. When he looked at her mildly confused she gave a weak smile to let him know she wasn’t upset with him.   
            “Hell yes” said Williams as she took the medigel and then pulled off her gauntlet, rubbing it into her scorched knuckles gently.   
            Shepard reached into her armor at the shoulder and pulled out a packet of gum, “So, who is willing to let me have their water for this?”   
            Ashley reached and snatched it from her, obviously catching onto the casual air that Shepard was holding. She then unhooked her water bottle and tossed it to Shepard. Smiling warmly as the Commander took it and then stood. “Okay, you two stay here, rest a bit. I’m going to go walk around a little.”  She looked at Kaidan as he was about to speak, and he just sighed and nodded. She was the Commander after all…  
            So, being a people person wasn’t exactly Shepard’s strong point; as this was proven while talking to a doctor that was hiding out with her assistant in a trailer. Shepard had tried, she really had… but his ramblings while she was trying to put this together had pinched her last nerve and as a result she had punched him… “lightly”.   
            Then while meeting the dock workers in yet another trailer after having to shoot some Geth? Yeah… no she wasn’t in any mood. Especially when she caught onto the fact they were hiding things from her. It took one look and the man had handed over everything he had plus some information on one guy at the docks who was deep into the smuggling job.   
  
            Nihlus had heard and seen a lot of Shepard’s antics, he had to admit it was entertaining. Now he was coming up to a dock, quietly he whispered his plans to investigate to Shepard’s squad before bringing up his rifle and nearly slithering up to the place of inquiry.   
            “Saren?” asked Nihlus as he stood there, mildly shocked.   
            The… turian, if one could even call him that, stood tall, taller than one would even expect from one. The glow of blue behind his eyes and the suspicious armor casted around him was something completely new. Nihlus had to admit, he didn’t honestly remember his friend looking, well, like this.   
            “This isn’t your mission Saren, what are you doing here?” he questioned, holstering his gun to his back and walking up. Either way, Saren was Saren, still smelled like him anyways.   
            “The Council thought you could use some help with this one” said the male as he grumbled in his low voice. The same confident and careless swagger to his gate as he walked, Nihlus found himself looking far too much at Saren’s waist; _Okay, now wasn’t the time for that… maybe later though_ He thought to himself as Saren came over and clapped him on the shoulder.   
            “I wasn’t expecting to find the Geth here” he mused as Saren walked by him. “This situation seems bad” he added feeling like something was wrong. Maybe Shepard had been right to be on edge… Women’s Intuition maybe?


	5. Ouch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nihlus, you cheeky bastard... Good thing you're too damned cute.

            Shepard was sipping at her water as she found a bit of debris that made for a good sniper post and resting place. She was finally glad to have some time alone; being around someone near constantly was a little more than draining for her. Mix that with her thinned patience from her mindless adversaries and the fact she was both starving and dehydrated. Yeah, she was the farthest from happy camper anyone could see.  
            She saw the port station Nihlus had mentioned, and thus headed that way. Now she sat at her perch, Viper out. Looking through her scope, she was surprised to see what exactly was going on down there.  
           

            “Don’t worry, I’ve got it all under control” Saren spoke, his voice cool and smooth as he turned and pointed his pistol at the back of Nihlus’ head. That pistol would have been the end of Nihlus too, if there wasn’t a bullet that barely missed Saren’s head, taking off a tip of his fringe instead.  
            “DAMN IT NIHLUS GET OUT OF THERE!” Came Shepard’s voice over the com as Nihlus dove for cover and then saw Saren groan and reached to feel his fringe. Nihlus then stood and walked over, pretty much ignoring Shepard.  
            “Saren! You okay?” he asked, before his hands went up as Saren pointed his pistol at him and fired.  
  
            Two shots rang, one from the pistol in the still standing turian’s hand, another from the viper rifle that sent a shot clear and hit the larger alien in the shoulder. However it didn’t stop there from Shepard as she unloaded her clip at the now running turian.  
            Once out she was bolting down the hill, “NIHLUS!” she screamed as a husk blind-sided her. Now she was struggling on the ground as the, whatever it really was, started wailing on her. Shepard shoved her hand into the husks mouth and ripped off its jaw. Then scrambling she dove for her gun, the two other husks that had been coming for her dropping.  
            Looking up, she let out the breath she didn’t know she’d been holding as Nihlus stood holding the left side of his face in one hand and his pistol in the other. “Shepard”

            “I told you shit was going to go wrong” Shepard grunted out as she got up and rushed to his side.  
            “What are you-“ Nihlus looked at her as she pulled his hand from her face, “OW!” she had poked him in the wound. “Stop! Shepard! Ow! It’s bleeding pretty bad!”  
            “I know it is you big baby” snapped Shepard as she pulled out pieces of dirt that were in it before she pulled a bandage from the pack on the back of her belt. “This’ll slow it down, long enough for you to get back to the ship.”  
            “What? Oh hell no! That asshole shot me!” said Nihlus as he let her apply medigel and then slap the bandage on his face. “I bottomed for him Shepard! And he SHOT ME”  
            “Bottomed?” asked Shepard before she went wide eyed and scoffed, “Well! That’s what you get for fucking turians who obviously look more like machines than they should!”  
            “He didn’t look like that Last time we slept together!” countered Nihlus as he staggered a bit, only to be caught and steadied by Shepard. “I’m going with you”  
            Shepard looked him in the eyes, pleading with her light brown ones for him to just give in. He met her stare with his own determined one before she sighed. He smirked at her before pulling up his com.  
            “Alenko?”  
            “Nihlus?! We heard gunshots? What’s going on, we’re almost to your position!” asked the frantic male, who was obviously running.  
            “Ran into some trouble, going to go on ahead, before you ask yes Shepard is with me and trust me, she’s fine” he bit, mildly impatient.  
            Shepard raised an eyebrow at him and he shook his head and rolled his eyes, his hand going to his face again, before her hand connected with it and smacked it away. He took a swipe at her which was only met with her hand catching his and her other fist connecting with his side. He groaned and looked at her with narrowed eyes. She met his look with one similar before the side of her mouth twitched just a little. Nihlus then started laughing as he held his side. “Okay Okay Alenko! Just get here as fast as you can” he said to the man who had been talking his ear off trying to explain that he was just worried about the Commander because she had been over exerting herself.  
            Shepard opened her mouth to speak but the hairs on the back of her neck rose and she acted on instinct. She tackled Nihlus down just seconds before she heard the gunshot. The turian grunted and moaned before looking at her.  
            “Ugh, I should have brought snacks, then I could have gotten a headshot!” she growled as she yanked her pistol out and got up. Geth, of course…

            Nihlus had been watching Shepard from the distance, however he didn’t think it would strike him so interesting having a front row seat to her antics. That Geth, the big one with the rocket, shouldn’t have lost so fast to a human woman. However it went down and Shepard was blasting her way through everything in her path, almost like a wrecking ball. Heck yes, this was definitely the right choice for the first human specter, and probably the only friend he knew he would never sleep with.  
            “Easy! Woman! Damn it wait for me!” he called as he came from cover and started shooting at the smaller white colored geth with his pistol.  
            “What?!” asked Shepard as she took a second to turn around, at the wrong time. The rocket the white one had been carrying had launched and hit her with full force, throwing her back and past Nihlus, who dove and pulled her into cover.  
            “SPIRITS WATCH US YOU ARE CRAZY!” he yelled at her as she held her head and grit her teeth.  
            “DON’T YELL AT ME I’M A GIRL!”  
            “A FUCKING INSANE ONE!”  
            “WELL THEN BE A DAMN MAN WITH A QUAD AND PROTECT ME!” she bit before she got up and pulled her shotgun out, marching forward as she pumped and shot out every bit of ammo for it she had, shredding the geth in her path, as well as a second rocket that had tried and failed to take her out.  
            “YOU DON’T NEED PROTECTING; EVERYONE ELSE NEEDS IT FROM YOU!” Nihlus screamed at her as he jumped over the partition they had hid behind and ran up, sliding next to her and rolling past. Leaping up, he pistol whipped a geth across its light, continuing to melee fight it.  
            “You know you like it” panted Shepard as she dove into cover and switched guns. Nihlus rolled and slammed into her. “Ow!”  
            “Sorry!” he chirped as he straightened himself, “Look little hard to be all precise right now!” he claimed as she looked at him with a deadpanned glare. “And yes, I do like that you are probably the craziest damned soldier I have ever seen.”  
            She smiled at him and laughed, “Knew it”  
            “Also turians don’t have quads, we have an internal pair”  
            “Oh My God… you’re doing this now?!”  
            “Just so you know for when I finally win your heart and end your celibacy streak!” he laughed at her as she balked at him. Wincing as she smacked him three times, “I’m kidding!”  
            “Ahha” she smirked before pulling up her rifle and going from cover. Six shots, all through the head, all the geth… without one.  
            “Ugh, woman you make my plates shift!” said Nihlus in a mockingly dramatic way.  
            “I don’t want to know!” she looked at him and he opened his mouth, “NOPE! LEAVE SOME MYSTERIES TO MY BRAIN!” With that he snickered but didn’t give her more unwanted information. His plates weren’t really shifting, but he enjoyed the way the sexual jokes made her stammer and flail.  
            Shepard looked at him and punched him in the chest, “Stop trying to confuse my head!” she whined.  
            Nihlus just laughed at the tone of her voice before she hit him again, “SERIOUSLY?! I am your Specter Recruiter missy!”  
            “You’re also a pain in the ass!”  
            “You know you love it” he purred at her as he got up and began a horizontal rain of shots to the few geth that were coming up.

            He had to admit, it was easy to fight alongside her, and she anticipated moves like no one he’d met before. Yep, it was going to be fun training her, unfortunately it would also probably be short. He face palmed as Alenko and Williams caught up to them and Alenko darted to close to Shepard a little too fast. This woman ran up to rocket wielding geth three times her size and blasted them in half… but she backpedaled hard when Alenko came closer to her than she liked. He found it highly comical to say the least.  
            “Commander, are you alright?” asked Kaidan as he looked at Shepard who was jerking away from his hand again. He didn’t get why she really seemed to hate him touching her, but he was trying to maybe hint to her that he was interested. Sure, fraternization was against regulations, but who could resist a woman like her?  
            “I’m fine.” She sighed as she pulled Ashley between them. The woman looked confused as she looked between Kaidan and Shepard.  
            “Wow, Shepard did you do all this?” asked Ashley as she looked at the littered and shredded Geth bodies.  
            “I helped!” said Nihlus with a wince. He held a hand to his face and shook his head. It was still bleeding and he knew he had already lost a lot of blood. When Shepard whipped around and looked at him, eyes wide and worried he just furrowed his brows at her and shook his head softly. Her expression softened slightly, but she balled her hands to fists, resisting the urge to help.  
            “Yeah, he did most of it actually” said Shepard, she was lying, but Nihlus didn’t want to appear like he was weak right now, and she was going to help any way she could.  
            “Damn! No wonder you’re a Specter Nihlus” said Kaidan, he was buying the lie. Ashley didn’t seem like she was, but said nothing; only eyeing Nihlus up and down before looking away from him.

            Shepard then hit the controls for the tram and sighed as it started up. “Okay, Alenko and Williams I want you guys to go about the right side and flank them. Nihlus and I will give them something fun to shoot at”  
            “Great, more things trying to kill me” sighed Nihlus as he put on the professional air again.  
            “Part of the job soldier” said Shepard as the tram stopped and she shoved him to get off first.  
            “Well, this is a _wonderful_ surprise” said the turian as he looked at a giant explosive at his feet.  
            “Fucking…” growled Shepard as she rubbed her temples, “Alright Nihlus, you go wi-”

            “The exact way I was intending to go Shepard” he corrected as he disabled the bomb. “Don’t worry, I can handle It.” he told her looking up at her worried expression. It touched him that she cared so much.  
            “Okay… I’ll cloak and go for the charges, take out what I can along the way.” She informed before taking a deep breath and steadying herself. Halfway through her step she disappeared and was gone.  
            “Anyone else find that a little creepy or just me?” asked Ashley, the ground they were standing on was metal; she was at least expecting to hear footsteps.  
            Nihlus snorted before he got up and went up the ramp, hanging a left. Time to give them hell, even if he was starting to feel dizzy and weak.


	6. Shit, Shit, Shit...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title should explain it well enough

            “Shepard? I would be incredibly obliged to you if you could get this fucking rocket wielding sentient tin can off my back!” snarled Nihlus as he sat in cover. Less and less was he feeling like he could actually do this, the bandage on his face already well soaked through. What had been white was now blue.   
            Closing his eyes for a second he tried to gather himself. Now wasn’t the time to be getting all weak on everyone, he could happily die after they got the beacon… maybe shot Saren a new asshole in the process. He couldn’t believe that he had shot him, what in hell…  
            Okay, so they weren’t monogamous, but he had been under the impression that they were more serious than an occasional fuck; especially since until about six months ago they’d been trying to meet every week for some time together. He’d even woken up to Saren holding him by the waist and nuzzling their heads together, something Nihlus had been sure Saren would never do to anyone. At that point Nihlus had been expecting a message any day from Saren explaining that he wanted to make it solid.   
            The smallest keen escaped his throat before he hissed at himself and shook his head. No, there was no use in being sad over something like this. It was stupid to even hope that Saren had been completely serious about him. Even though it had felt so right… so earth shaking, heartwarming, stars exploding, and cosmically inclined right.

            He jumped and fired his pistol when he felt something touch his face. Wide eyed, he slowly came into focus on Shepard who was now scowling at him. With a growl she yanked the barrel of his pistol from her stomach and looked at the damage.   
            “Spirits, Shepard… I’m so sorry!” he gasped, the sound of gunfire seeming to go underwater.   
            “It’s okay, I’ve had worse” she croaked out as she held the now bleeding wound. “Just means I get to keep you company in the med bay now”   
            Nihlus was looking at her like she had grown a second head. She wasn’t pissed off or even hurt?  
            The look on his face must’ve said it all, because Shepard looked at him and gave a weak smile. “I know how you’re feeling right now, and you weren’t all there when I touched you.” She then patted his shoulder and stood with a small grimace at the pain in her stomach.   
            Admiration, Nihlus never thought he would feel that again as he looked at Shepard stand and cracked her neck. She had an open, bleeding bullet wound to probably one of the most painful places to get shot on a human… and she was standing, looking at him with a small smile, and holding out a hand for him. Spirits knock him silly if he was wrong, but this was one tough woman if he ever saw one.   
            “Let’s go, we have a mission” she grunted out as he took her hand and she hauled him up. Yeah, the Specter and his recruit were in some hell right now… but what better way to bond than being fucked up and bleeding together?

            Everything seemed to slow down for Shepard, she knew what was happening. It happened more than once before, and it always happened… whenever she was hurt, and in pain that should have her screaming on the floor, well, her blood would boil, her mind would clear, and nothing was going to get in her way. This was Commander Shepard’s “oh shit” mode.  
            Mechanical debris and white fluids were what painted the carnage she left in her path. Now, she stood staring at the sky with an angry, intensely so, gaze as Saren go away.

            “Well, we got the beacon.” Said Ashley as she tried to find a bright side, especially since she could tell the Commander was pretty angry, if not fully pissed off. The Turian Specter was injured and not sitting on a knocked over crate holding his head. Kaidan was staring at the beacon like it was some work of art. She felt it was left to her to find some sort of bright side.   
            “Mmm” grunted Shepard before she turned slowly to go look at what she had just gone through a lot of trouble for. “ALENKO!” she snarled.   
            The beacon was lighting up, and it gave her a terrible feeling as she ran and charged into Kaidan, sending him back and into Nihlus, who grunted and merely lifted a foot, resting it on the human lieutenant’s back.   
            Shock, it felt like she had stuck a fork in an outlet, the images in her mind no more than split second glimpses at death. Bodies, blood, pain, screaming, destruction… her senses were filled with it as whatever message there was to be sent was pretty much rammed into her brain.

            “Shepard!” cried Nihlus as he stood, he was about to run over before he felt what had to be one of the worst pains in his life. His hand went to his chest and he looked down. A large hole just above his heart was there, now spilling his blue blood all over his hands and down his front. Mouth open, he gaped at his wound before looking at Shepard and staggering forwards. He had no idea why he wanted to get to her first, but that’s what his mind told him to do… before everything drained of color, and sound.   
            Ashley whipped her head around as she heard the shot and started a long string of curses. She had been sure they’d eradicated all the Geth here; now five more were hiding behind cover as husks came running towards them. She pulled out her Assault rifle and began to mow down what she could.   
            “KAIDAN!” she screamed as the Biotic ran forward and threw a shockwave, sending the incoming husks back a good twenty feet.   
            “Shit! Nothing is going right!” he groaned as he pulled up his com. “JOKER! I NEED EMERGENCY EXTRACTION NOW!”   
            “Why? What the hell’s going on?” asked Joker, who despite his tone was already working at light speed and getting the Normandy going.   
            “Shepard and Nihlus are down! We’re pinned!” cried Alenko as he looked over his shoulder at the Commander and the Specter. “Shepard?!” he nearly screamed.   
            As if summoned, Shepard snapped open her eyes and shook her head. Damn everything that ever existed, her head was killing her, her stomach hurt… and she smelled blood. Looking to her left she saw Nihlus lying there in a pool of his own blood. She looked to her right and watched as Ashley unloaded hell upon their assailants. Kaidan looking at her before he took a glance at the Geth and husks, he cursed before he turned and pulled out his own rifle. If they were going to have a chance he had to help fight and not go run to Shepard’s aid.   
            Not that she needed it all that much. With a snarl she pushed herself up and staggered to Nihlus, “No, hey, look you idiot dinosaur head you can’t die… you just convinced me I could have real friends” she grunted out as she threw him over her shoulder and shoved herself onto two legs.   
            “COMMANDER!” screamed Ashley as a husk flew past her. Shepard whirled and pulled her shotgun from her back, thrusting her arm she cocked it before shooting the husk that was racing towards her.   
            Everything again was in slow motion; she barely was able to take in the Normandy almost sitting on the edge of the platform they were on. She didn’t even recognize that her own feet were moving as she limped to it, straining due to the weight of the heavy as hell alien over her shoulders.   
            “Shepard!” called Anderson as he ran down the hatch and began shooting, several other crew men coming to give cover. He handed the gun to a crewman as he went and took Nihlus off her shoulder, nearly falling under his weight. Who knew Turians were that heavy, must be all the density of their muscles.   
            Shepard panted with ragged breath as she made it to the gurney and patted her hand. She was running on auto pilot now, her brain pretty much fried from everything that had just been shoved into her psyche.

            She helped Nihlus onto the gurney before she took a step.   
            “Shit” she breathed.   
            She fell onto her knees. “Shit”   
            Her last thought before everything finally went black, “Shit…”


	7. Killing Blow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saren's a pretty cool Character. I know a lot of people tend to want to only hate the villian, however... I can't bring myself to. Not when i see him as someone who lost himself, and will never have it back. This chapter made me tear up by the way...

            He’d lost his temper again, of course he had, and that damned human had destroyed the beacon by getting near it. Now he had lost a crucial piece of information he needed in order to help bring the Reapers to the galaxy.   
            Inside his mind he knew Benezia didn’t deserve to be thrown by her throat, but that part of his mind was locked away… only able to come free at times like this. When he sat in his chair, looked at the large screen before him, and just got lost in his thoughts.

            Saren Arterius covered his face with one hand, not wanting to even exist at this moment. His mind felt muddled at times like this, especially about things that he was more emotionally invested in. Not that there was a whole lot to that list, he could count the number of things between his two hands.   
            With a sigh he stood up and walked from the “throne” like room in which he sat to his own quarters. Yet another lavish room, he did admit he had a taste for the finer things when it came to the vanities that he liked to indulge upon himself. With a heavy sigh he fell into his bed and just stared at the ceiling. Was what he was doing the right thing? Would this save the Galaxy?  
            The second, newer voice in his head told him yes, this was the right path for all sentient life to take. That he was doing this for the good of all life. The one he barely recognized as his however… was screaming that it wasn’t right.   
            With a growl he shoved away invisible annoyances and let his mind wander to a topic that he often fell to, with a heavy heart.   
            Nihlus, that sweet, cheeky, annoying Turian. Saren didn’t see himself as a romantic, however… he knew that the parts of him he still recognized, the parts of him that were harder and harder to see with each passing second, held deep emotional sentiments towards that man.   
            He was a bare faced Specter that had gotten his title and recognition for his ruthless ability. Cold blooded and calculated, he didn’t care what happened to anyone, as long as the job was accomplished. Nihlus had been nearly the opposite, and like a single ray of light, Saren had been drawn to him.   
            He thought back to his first encounter with the younger male. Seeing that bright face with those enchanting emerald eyes, Saren had never felt his heart skip a beat, let alone lose his breath over someone. The most anyone had ever pulled from his was that deep predatory growl and a longing to dominate, which he did as he pleased. Nihlus had made him feel almost helpless.   
            It had been even worse when Nihlus tentatively pressed his forehead to his the first time. Saren had never felt like keening, not since he was a mere child… that moment he did, and only stopped when Nihlus told him how much he liked him.   
            It only put cracks in his heart when he heard Nihlus meekly say they could keep it open, sleep with and seek company wherever they felt. He foolishly acted like that was the only option, when Saren knew that he wanted nothing more than to indulge himself in that life’s essence colored turian.   
            Sex was good, making love was much better. Saren found this out through Nihlus. What had started out as the usual struggle for dominance, ended with the smaller turian under him, gasping and keening as Saren moved to his own delight. Surprising himself with that craving being slow, prioritizing his partner’s wants above his own. Nothing had felt better than Nihlus’ hands under his fringe and gripping his back while he lapped at the barely bleeding bite mark on the other man’s neck.   
            Romps turned into love making, sexual encounters turned into actual dates, vacations were then taken together rather than apart. All while Saren put it from his mind that their relationship was supposedly open, and that meant he wasn’t the only one to enjoy Nihlus’ highly prized company.   
            The large male chuckled to himself as he rested his hands on his chest and thought of their last time together for an extended period. A whole month camping together on some backwater planet, fishing, hunting, target practice… and all the time wrapped around each other under the stars; he’d loved every moment of it. Yes, even getting pulled into dancing with Nihlus to some sort of instrumental music Nihlus had brought.   
             Nihlus always left his side with an affectionate purr and a short meaningful nuzzle. Saren had never returned it, afraid to scare him of… their last night together, Saren took every risk he hadn’t been willing to take with this, but had willingly thrown into the fires on every other aspect of his life, and initiated the sentimental affections. The “over the moon” trills that Nihlus had given him, paired with those bright eyes and warm smile were worth it.

            Then he remembered their last encounter, mere hours ago. The part of him he barely knew, the dominating part aiming that gun at the back of his head, how he had pleaded, even cried for himself to stop. His body barely listened to himself anymore, not to the self that he had known for much longer, the part of him the new “him” was slowly chipping away at.   
            Angrily he held his fringe and cursed at himself for listening, for being unable to control what he did and didn’t do anymore. Running his hand down his crest he stopped when he felt the broken end of one of the peaks of his fringe. Then he remembered, the human…  
            Who was she to Nihlus? He knew that his beloved man was a human sympathizer; he knew that he was foolishly optimistic about them. He had never guessed that the people Nihlus slept with also would be humans. Especially a human _woman_ , not that Saren could say he didn’t indulge in the past and taste them.   
            That had stopped as soon as he met Nihlus however. He no longer purchased human slaves, used them at his pleasure and until they were broken, before spacing them. He’d taken a mild pleasure from seeing their bodies writhe and freeze in the blackness of space. Nihlus would hate him if he ever knew he’d done that… so he stopped. No one else held his interest anyways… or had. His interest was almost gone, small sparks occasionally rising when he was alone and dreaming of Nihlus and his little quirks. 

            Not that any of that mattered anymore… Nihlus was likely dead. The reports had said he had lost too much blood to be able to survive. These thoughts made Saren cover his eyes and roll onto his side. He let the despair wash over him, he didn’t have the strength to stop it right now. Nihlus, _his_ Nihlus was dead, the one person he had ever truly held value in, and dare he even say it to _love_. He’d killed him, he’d done it even though he hadn’t wanted to, all because that voice had taken over and deemed it necessary. How was it necessary to kill the one person that saving this wretched galaxy was worth? No answers came to him as he curled into himself.  For as much as that voice invaded and “helped” he with everything, it wasn’t there now… when he could use the guidance.   
            The one he loved was dead… and that was the killing blow to the last shreds of himself he had been desperately trying to hold onto.


	8. Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapter

            “Don’t” was the only word she needed to say. That immediately had Kaidan standing there shocked, as he watched Commander Shepard walk, then jog, then full out sprint away from him and Ashley. Why didn’t she wanted them with her? Why was she always pulling away from him? He had no idea, and it was getting frustrating, especially when he knew they would and could be so good together.  
            Ashley sighed and looked at him, “Come on, let’s go grab a bite until she calls us” said the gunnery chief as she started steering the man away from the sight of his crush bolting away from them and towards the Hospital.

 

            “Nihlus Kryik” panted Shepard as she skidded and ran into the receptionist desk at Huerta Memorial hospital. “Please, Room number… Nihlus Kryik”  
            The Asari looked at her sympathetically, “He just got out of surgery Commander, he won’t be awake”  
            “Don’t care, please”  
            The Asari sighed before she started typing away at the screen in front of her, “He’s on floor ten, room 1035” she said, leaping up she reached for the Commander as she took off. “There’s an Elevator!”  
            “TOO SLOW!” she called back as she went into the stairwell and started ascending. Okay now that she could feel that wound on her stomach again she was wishing she had taken the elevator, however she wasn’t about to cop out now. Shepard was going to go and make sure that Nihlus was going to live before she did anything else. Fuck the council; fuck everyone, that stupid dinosaur head needed her first.  
            Coming out of the stairwell she panted and leaned forward on her knees before looking up at the signs. Taking a right she dodged people and nurses as she got to him room. Taking a moment she caught her breath partially before opening the door slowly.  
            There he was, heartbeat sounding on the monitor, sound asleep. He looked like shit to say the least, then again who wouldn’t? Shepard dragged a chair to his side and sat down next to him. She didn’t know what to do, however she knew she should do something.  
            “Hey” she said softly, her hands taking his larger one between hers. “I’m so sorry that everything went down how it did. I shouldn’t have… I don’t know. I didn’t do something and it all went to hell.” She groaned as she looked at his face, the tubes going into his mouth and helping him stay alive.  
            “We’ve reported it to the council, I have to go and meet them soon. Well technically it should be now, but you’re more important” she laughed lightly.  
            “I don’t think I ever thanked you, I mean I know it wasn’t even a day when you said you wanted to be my friend. But, damn if anything makes friends it’s bleeding and fighting together right? You didn’t have to back me up at all, you didn’t have to do anything. Yet there you were, watching my back… didn’t care in the least bit that we weren’t well acquainted.” she babbled as she squeezed his hand and tried to fight back the tears.  
            “Please don’t die” she finally cracked, her voice thick. “Please? You can freak me out with all the sexual puns, jokes, information you want for the rest of your long long life if you live. I’ll listen to every one and even act interested” she begged.  
            “I never had anyone Nihlus, I have been alone my whole life. I finally met someone and she tore out my heart and laughed at the bloody mess she left of me. I only was able to pull myself together enough to fool some wet behind the ears psych because I wanted to go on this mission so bad.” She explained, “I thought getting back out there would help me, and it didn’t… not until you started buzzing around everywhere with your… whatever the second sound is that you make. It distracted me, and then… I don’t know. It annoyed me in a good way.”  
            She stroked his knuckles. “I don’t know what the deal was between you and what’s his face robotico; however, I will make sure he pays for hurting you. No one hurts those I care for and gets away with it” she swore as she patted his hand and fell into silence. Her first friend… and he got shot.


	9. Blue Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> awkward first meetings

            She heard it as she walked up to the Council. Udina was angry and all up in a tizzy, rightfully so but none the less annoying as hell, about everything. She hadn’t even bothered to dress up or even put on armor. She had a pistol on her hip and her dog tags around her neck. Her shirt had some blood stains on it from where her bullet wound was mildly bleeding, and she couldn’t care less.   
            Shepard was in no mood, between dodging Alenko and the emotional breakdown she’d had while at Nihlus’ bedside, her patience was at a firm **zero** soon to be going into the negatives depending on how the council reacted to what was happening.   
            She would have kept the scowl on her face, if she hadn’t heard what probably was the best sound she’d ever come across in her lifetime. Standing on the stairs she looked up at a pair of turians, one in all blue, the other in black and red. It was the one in blue that was talking, and that voice had her rooted to the spot.

            “Saren’s hiding something! Give me more time! Stall ‘em!” the one in blue demanded, his voice was sure and full of fire. The way he was looking at the other turian, probably a superior based on his stance, was all determination.   
            “Stall the Council? Don’t be ridiculous! Your investigation is over Garrus” said the older turian, who Shepard assumed was older because of the depth of his voice and the overall air he had about him. He then turned and left, walking right past Shepard.   
            She watched him before the hair on the back of her neck stood up and she whipped her head around to see two blue eyes, burning like blue fire, staring right at her. She felt a shiver go up her spine as she avoided his gaze and then tried to move away.   
            His hand shot out and gripped her arm, a little harder than he probably intended but nothing Shepard couldn’t handle. She stopped and looked at him, her hair going on end as she juggled emotions of shock, fear, anger, and awe. The way he was looking down at her made her feel as if he was going to eat her. Those eyes and that voice? She may just let him too… since when did she develop a thing for Turians?  
            “Commander Shepard?” he asked, she jumped slightly before nodding and yanking her arm from his grip. He looked surprised before he looked at where she was now holding her arm and sighed, giving her an apologetic look before he continued. “Garrus Vakarian, I was the C-Sec officer in charge of the investigation into Saren”   
            She kept silent, but nodded; her heart was racing much faster than it ever had before. Ugh, couldn’t he look away or something for just a second, instead of continuing to hold eye contact with her? She knew it was considered polite, but the things his gaze was doing to her… she wasn’t used to it. She realized she’d been silent too long, and noticed the awkward look the turian was now wearing, or at least it came off as awkward. She was still learning how to read their expressions; but it was cute, how he was now trying to keep his gaze on her.   
            “Sounds like you really want to bring him down” she offered, not really knowing what else to say. It was hard to think when someone like him was barely a foot from her.   
            Garrus crossed his arms, “I don’t trust him, something about him rubs me the wrong way” he growled out. “But he’s a Specter, everything he touches is classified. I can’t find any hard evidence!”   
            “I’m after him too, he hurt my friend” snarled Shepard, before she went wide eyed and covered her mouth. Clearing her throat she sighed, “I mean… he was involved in the last mission I was on. The Specter that was there with me was injured because of him”   
            Garrus raised an eyebrow plate at her, before he seemed to smirk at her outburst. Shepard laughed nervously before she looked at her feet. “The Council is expecting me…”   
            The Turian officer looked at the stairway towards them and back at her, “I shouldn’t keep you then” he told her before nodding his head. “Good luck Shepard. Maybe they’ll listen to you.”   
            Shepard gave weak laughter before she side stepped him and nearly sprinted away. Okay, she knew she just made a fool of herself, but what the hell! Someone like him shouldn’t exist! She wasn’t really even really into the male sex, and look at that? An Alien, a damn fine heavenly sounding alien no doubt, had her tripping all over herself.

 

            Garrus watched her pretty much flee from him and wondered what he did wrong. Had he been over zealous again? Probably, but spirits he wanted to take Saren down. No one should be that shady and get away with as much as he was bound to.   
            He’d liked that outburst though, the fire that had flashed in her eyes while it shot from her. With a chuckle he rested his hands on his hips and then started to leave the tower. He had some other things to check into… but part of him was hoping he would see the Commander again.


	10. Shots Fired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wife and assumed mistress meet.

            “She said she’d call us when she needs us” said Ashley as she enjoyed a drink at a café. She was beginning to see why Shepard was a little less than into Alenko. The guy was cute, but damn did he obsess when it came to a hard crush. Ashley liked Shepard too, as a friend; the woman was strong, funny when she wasn’t tripping over herself, and the most bad ass person to ever exist since Bruce Willis about a century ago.  
            “But, what if she’s in trouble?” asked Alenko as he kept fiddling with the straw in his soda. Ashley took a swig of her beer and looked at him, “She had a healing wound on her stomach!” he defended.  
            “And she still managed to carry The Turian Specter onto the ship by herself, and cock a shotgun one handed. She’s fine Alenko, enjoy your kiddy soda and just chill. Count this as shore leave.” She bit at him, poor Shepard, if this was who she had to pick from of available men to court… well, there weren’t any other choices were there? Besides, Kaidan was cute, and sweet, and probably pretty good in bed.

 

            Anderson greeted her at the stairs, rushing her up with “The hearing has already started, come on”. Shepard merely nodded before she looked down at her pale gre t-shirt and winced at the blood stains leaking through, cautiously she put her hand over it, maybe they wouldn’t notice? Hopefully anyways…  
            The Asari Councilor’s voice was as if she was talking down to a child, trying to calm the qualms of a tantrum. “The Geth attack is a matter of some concern. But there is nothing to indicate Saren was involved in any way.”  
            “The investigation by Citadel Security turned up no evidence to support your charge of treason.” The Turian Councilor added as he looked at the Asari next to him.  
            Shepard stood there shocked, with her mouth open as she listened to them. Udina started to say something but she threw a datapad onto the floor and rushed up, shoving the ambassador aside. “No fucking evidence?!” she snarled. “NO. FUCKING. EVIDENCE?!” she asked as her hair shot on end, making her puff out. “No fucking evidence my fluffy satin covered princess ASS! I have a critically injured friend in the hospital here because of this asshole and his happy trigger finger!”  
            “Your description of Saren in your reports is… colorful and imaginative at best, Commander Shepard.” Hissed the Salarian Councilor. “That hardly proves your identification was accurate.”  
            “OH WE’RE GONNA GO THERE NOW ARE WE?!” roared Shepard as she stopped herself and took a deep breath. Even Udina looked a little terrified. “My description is as states, “Specter Kryik was shot in the face first by a mechanically infested turian with too much tech to be recognized as a living being. A shot was fired from a heavily modded Viper rifle in which I possess and took off a chunk of the perpetrators fringe. I proceeded to empty my clip with much gusto into the dastardly avian tin can passing as a person.” She read outloud.  
            “Yes… your description fits better into a children’s tv drama rather than a missions report” said the Asari councilor.  
           

            Saren was standing wide eyed; it took all of his control to not move his hand to his heart. As much as he wanted to yell back at the, colorful if not inaccurate description of him, he felt warm inside knowing Nihlus was alive. “I resent these Accusations! Nihlus was a fellow Specter.” He stopped and took a breath, “And a friend”  
            “Oh! Ahha! Sure! I bet you two were _real_ friendly as you were lying to him the whole time to catch him off guard and suddenly ASSASINATE him!” barked Shepard. Udina moved to grab her arm but she held it up and glared at him. Anderson was having an internal battle with himself. Step in and stop his prodigy from continuing to make herself look hot headed? Or let her unleash all her verbal fury and colorful vocabulary upon the council?  
            “I did no such thing!” snapped Saren as he felt his cool slowly starting to melt. It was the same bitch, he recognized her, the one who had been putting her whorish little hands all over **_HIS_** Nihlus. “The parameters of the relationship between Specter Kryik and myself were always of good standing and professional. He was a trusted Colleague, and dear friend!” he raised an eyebrow plate at her, “However I can expect no less than fledgling level insults from the protégé of Captain Anderson. What was your name again? Icky Shepard?” he sneered, “The one who let the beacon get destroyed?” Shepard glared at him, _Did he really just declare shots fired?!_  
            “It’s ECHO You low life piece of Rott-” Udina ran up and slammed his hand over Shepard’s mouth and dragged her back to Anderson. Who had his face turned away doing his best to hide his amusement, Shepard was as good as his child, and he loved her dearly now if not before for her completely fearless demonstration of _having a quad_ to the council.  
            She broke free from Udina and elbowed him in the stomach. Walking back up to the stand she stood straight and recontrolled herself. “The mission to Eden Prime was of top secret level, how could you know of such a mission were you not there?” she asked with grace and civility that only Anderson knew she possessed, it left all three of the councilors in shock, to put it lightly.  
            “With Nihlus injured and unable to return to work any time soon his files were passed to me. I read the report of Eden Prime. I was _unimpressed_.” said Saren with a haughty tone, “But what can you expect from a Human?” He looked Shepard up and down discretely. _This is who Nihlus was sleeping with besides me?! I won’t believe it, she’s inferior in every way!_  
            Why did Shepard feel as if she were talking to some suspicious wife? She looked at Saren with raised eyebrows and an _“unimpressed”_ gaze. The hell was his problem? Sure she got being upset over being charged with Treason, but he was taking this a little too personally in his opinion.  
            “Oh? We’re gonna bring species into this now?” asked Shepard, “Of course you would go that route, you can find little else to cover your fat metal ass with!” she bit while chewing off a hang nail and not looking at him.  
            Saren glared at her with such hatred he was hoping it would make her head explode. Did she really just call him fat?! “Your _species_ needs to learn its place. You’re not ready to join the council. You’re not even ready to join the Specters!” he snarled.  
            If anything got Anderson and Udina angry it was that. “HE HAS NO RIGHT TO SAY THAT!” Roared Udina as he matched up and shoved Shepard back, only for the woman to stagger but catch herself. Anderson was glaring daggers at Saren now, did that aluminum fucking chicken just say his Shepard wasn’t ready to be a Specter?  
            “Shepard’s admission into the Specters is not the purpose of this meeting” said the Asari Councilor firmly, her voice commanding silence and respect in a way Shepard only hoped she could learn one day.  
            “This meeting has no purpose! The humans are wasting your time councilor! And mine.” Growled the Specter.  
            Shepard walked forward, jabbing her finger at the hologram. “You can’t hide behind the council forever!” she hissed, her eyes meeting his with all the rage and fury she could summon up without destroying someone.  
            Anderson finally spoke. “There is still one outstanding issue: Commander Shepard’s Vision. It may have been triggered by the beacon.”  
            “Are we allowing dreams into evidence now? How can I defend my innocence against this type of testimony?” scoffed Saren.  
            The Turian Councilor nodded, “I agree. Our judgment must be based on facts and evidence. Not wild imagining and wild speculation.”  
            The Salarian Councilor stood straighter, “Do you have anything else to add Commander Shepard?”  
            Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. It was a small moment before she took a deep breath and stood straight. Her tone was even, if not just hinted with disappointment. “You have made your decision and explained it with crystal like clarity, I will not further waste my breath”  
            The Councilors looked at each other, before the Asari stood straight and gave their answer. “The Council has found no evidence between Saren and the Geth. Ambassador, your petition to have him disbarred from the Specters is denied. “  
            Udina hung his head in shame, before he curled his hands into fists and looked at Shepard angrily, who turned and met his gaze with one daring him to do something.  
            “I’m glad to see justice was served” said Saren lightly as he looked at Shepard, his eyes narrowing, he then cut the connection.  
            With that, the Asari Councilor declared the meeting adjourned.


	11. No Shepard without Vakarian... Damn it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard.. what the hell did you get yourself into?

            Her migraine was at maximum levels now. Udina was an ass, Anderson was keeping secrets, she had to go find evidence against Saren, Ashley was blowing up her ‘tool, and Kaidan was frantically looking for her. Didn’t anyone understand that she was tired? Apparently not!  
            Shepard held her head in her hands as she rode the elevator down from the top of Citadel tower. Now she had to go find the gorgeous turian with the striking baby blues and the voice dripping of sex… was her life ever going to get easier? Probably not… What she wouldn’t kill for a cup of coffee, extra cream, extra sugar, triple shot of self-confidence.   
            It didn’t take her long to make it down into the wards, it took her longer than she would have liked however since she had to hide behind a shop keeper’s stall to avoid Kaidan and Ashley. To her amusement Ashley seemed about as annoyed as her at Kaidan’s ramblings of unnecessary worry. Good, maybe someone now would believe her when she tried to tell them why she wasn’t interested. Chora’s Den… she laughed at herself as she found she had hoped it was better than what it actually was. Forget the fact that two turians tried to shoot her when she stepped onto the walk way (they of course were no match for her quick shots to their faces), the place was a glorified strip club.   
            _Okay, looking for probably a gross drunk human guy in C-Sec blues… ahha!_ She thought as she saw him and then made her way over. She regretted instantly coming to find him.   
            “Hey there Sweetheart, you looking for some fun?” he slurred at her as he looked her up and down. She didn’t understand what he was looking at; she wasn’t exactly a pinnacle example of femininity. “Cause I gotta say that off duty soldier look is totally doing it for me” he added as he smiled at her, “Why don’t you sit your sweet little ass down by old Harkin here? Have a drink and we’ll see where this goes?” Shepard visibly shivered at the thought, one of her eyes twitching as she resisted the urge to gag.   
            “I’d rather drink a cup of acid after chewing on a razor blade” she growled. Who was he kidding, the only company he was bound to get was paid for.   
            “You trying to hurt my feelings?” he pouted, she grimaced, “You gotta do better than that, after twenty years in C-Sec I’ve been called every name in the book princess.”   
            She’d had enough; one quick kick and she’d flipped his chair. Her foot slammed down on his chest and winded him. “Listen ya’ silver plated rat, do I look like a princess? No? Damn skippy I ain’t one. Now, call me that one more time and you’re going to be picking every one of your teeth up off this cesspool’s floor. Tell me where Garrus Vakarian is however, and you get off with just a bruised sternum and the pleasure of feeling my boot.”   
            He grunted and held her ankle, “Okay okay!” he choked out before she let him up. “Garrus huh? You one of Anderson’s crew? Poor bastard’s still trying to bring Saren down?” Shepard rubbed her temple before she cracked her knuckles and looked at him. he’d focused on her hands and forgotten she had feet wielding heavy combat boots. He spit out his first tooth on the ground.   
            “Not what I asked for, there’s one, I believe adults have thirty two?” she asked.   
            “Okay Okay! God damn it you bitch!” he said with his hands up, “He’s been sniffing around Dr. Michel’s, she runs the med-clinic in the wards. He’s probably back there!”   
            “Thank you” said Shepard before she waved her hand at the bartender, he handed her a drink. She looked like she was going to take a sip before she threw it in his face. “For any infection you may get” she threw the glass into his hands then, “You can thank me by making yourself scarce.”   


            Hiking to the med clinic wasn’t so bad, not until she was literally sprinting to dodge out of sight of Kaidan and Ashley. God damn it, couldn’t they give it up and just go back and wait for her? Of course not, no one would ever let her have it that easy. She cared about them, yes, she would take a bullet for them… but god help her she needed time away from the sniffer and the one encouraging her to date the sniffer.   
            Walking into the med-clinic she stumbled upon a crying redhead and a guy holding her at gun point. “Is anything ever easy?” she asked as she rubbed her temples and took a deep breath.   
            “Who the fuck are you?” asked one of the men.   
            She took a deep breath, “I’m your worst mother fucking nigh-” she was cut off by a gunshot and the man holding the woman dropped. His head blown off. “God damn it” she snarled as she took a running jump and cleared the division. Her gun aimed she was ready to take a shot, before she saw a blue and black figure next to her.   
            “Fucking-” she snarled as she was side swiped by it. “The hell!” she snarled as she felt herself covered from the gunfire. Looking up that pair of blue eyes met hers and she felt all the blood rush to her face.   
            “You’re kind of not wearing armor Commander” said that smoother than sin voice. She then groaned and hid her eyes in her hand. “Were you looking for me?” he then asked, as if they were having a normal conversation, not hiding behind a bed with him on top of her. She was pretty sure that wasn’t her pistol grabbing her ass either. What could make this get worse?  
            Wish Granted. Kaidan and Ashley stormed into the med-clinic and, per their training, dished out some good old fashioned Alliance Marine style ass kicking. Shepard groaned and started pushing on the turian pinning her down. “Okay let me up officer”   
            Garrus took a moment, studying her face before he shifted and stood, offering her his hands to pull her up. She took them and then hauled herself to her feet; the look on her face said anything but that she was thankful however. She looked like she wanted to shoot someone, and that was something Garrus decided he liked.   
            “Commander! Are you alright?” asked Kaidan as he jumped the partition and went to her. Her hand went out and stopped him to coming to her at arm’s length. “Commander… Shepard?” he asked gently.   
            Shepard couldn’t bring herself to be mean to him, he was just trying to be kind. “I’m fine Alenko, but didn’t I ask you and Williams to stay behind?”   
            He looked at her before looking ashamed of himself and down at his feet. “I got worried when you didn’t call us, I’m sorry Commander” he said before standing at attention. He knew that when she used someone’s last name it meant she wasn’t happy with them.   
            “Sorry Shepard…” muttered Ashley before she looked at the turian standing just a little behind the commander. What the hell was Shepard doing around a turian? Didn’t she know that aliens couldn’t be trusted? Especially turians with what Saren had done. Nihlus was a pure anomaly, a fluke in the system.   
            “It’s fine, just; come on guys I need some time to do things on my own sometimes. A bullet to the torso didn’t kill me at point blank, it’s not gonna kill me from a couple of thugs.” She explained. “So, go on, both of you are off duty for the rest of the week unless otherwise specified. Go have fun” she told them.   
            When they looked at each other hesitantly Shepard scoffed, “That was an Order” she said in her angry commander voice.   
            “Yes Ma’am” said Ashley standing at attention before she grabbed Alenko’s arm and yanked him to come with her. He protested slightly, but when Shepard glared at him, daring him to disobey a direct order he conceded and left.

            Garrus felt her turn around and look at his back as the other two left. _Crap…_ was all he thought before something flew and hit him in the back of the head. Shepard had thrown a bandage canister at him.   
            “AND YOU!” she roared before looking at the doctor who was shivering in fear. She cleared her throat and walked over, yanking down his face by the yoke of his armor. “You, You bird brained moron, don’t ever, _ever_ side swipe me again. Is that clear Officer?” she hissed, Garrus didn’t want to admit it, but he thought he preferred the booming angry yells to her furious whispers. “Good shot though, perfect aim; however you could have hit that woman instead. What the hell were you thinking?! Do you even think?!”   
            Garrus fluttered his mandibles nervously, “I’m sorry, I just reacted, and there wasn’t any time to think. First she was about to be shot, and then you… you stupidly rushed in there with no armor. You could have gotten yourself killed, I know you said what you said to your men to soothe them, but damn if that wasn’t riskier than my own moves”. As he spoke he gained confidence, she had made a stupid reckless move rushing into the fire without armor. Plus she wasn’t his boss… yet, if he had anything to say about it.   
            Shepard shoved him back and gave him a glare. Holding her head she whined slightly at the roaring headache. “I know those men threatened you Ma’am, but if you tell me who they worked for I can protect you” she said to the redheaded doctor.   
            Dr. Michel took a deep breath and calmed herself before she began. “They work for Fist. They wanted to shut me up, wanted to keep me from telling Garrus about the Quarian” she said as she gripped Shepard’s elbow and made her sit on the only still intact chair.   
            “Quarian?” asked Shepard as she tried to swat away the hands that were gripping her face, but the doctor’s grip was firm as she shone a light in her eye. Shepard’s pupils were reacting strangely, more oval shaped than round as they should be. Dr. Michel made a mental note of this before she continued. “A few days ago a Quarian came by my office. She’d been shot, but she wouldn’t tell me who did it. I could tell she was scared, probably on the run” she spoke as she scanned Shepard with her omni-tool. “She asked me about the Shadow Broker. She wanted to trade information in exchange for a safe place to hide.”   
            Shepard yanked her head away as the Doctor came at her with a tongue depressor, only to have her face grabbed and yanked forward. An uncomfortable growl came from her throat only for the doctor to make a curious noise. “Then what?”  
            “I put her in contact with Fist, he’s an agent with the Shadow Broker” she informed before she went to her desk and pulled out a syringe. Shepard eyed it closely.   
            Garrus watched closely at the doctor work on Shepard, “Not anymore. Now he works for Saren, and the Shadow Broker isn’t too happy.”  
            “Fist betrayed the Shadow Broker?” asked the Doctor as she stood in shock. She then shook her head and filled the syringe with a lavender tinted liquid. “That’s stupid even for him. Saren must’ve made quite the offer” She then flicked at the syringe a few times before expressing all the air.   
            “That Quarian must have something Saren wants. Something worth crossing the Shadow Broker to get” he mused as he watched Shepard and Dr. Michel look at each other. He could tell where this was going, and was torn between watching the show or backing out before he could get in the cross fire.   
            Shepard stared at the doctor, her short hair on end. “She must have something proving he’s a traitor. Did the Quarian mention something about Saren? Or the Geth?” asked Shepard as she shifted in her seat. Getting ready to dart.   
            Dr. Michel crossed her arms and thought a moment before the hand holding the syringe came up, “She did! The information she was going to trade. She said it had something to do with the Geth.”   
            “She must be able to link Saren to the Geth” said Garrus looking excited, “There’s no way the council can ignore this!”   
            “Looks like it’s time I pay a visit to Fist” said Shepard before she darted. Dr. Michel was faster though, grabbing the Commander’s arm and yanking her back, The needle going firmly into her backside. Shepard gasped and looked down at the Doctor like she was a varren pup that had just been backhanded.   
            Garrus couldn’t help but laugh at that, he just smirked at Shepard when she gave him a look and pouted angrily. He flicked a mandible at her and just stood there, he couldn’t help but find it comical how animated she was.   
            “What exactly was that?” She asked the Doctor as she held her waist on one side and rubbed at the opposite side of her ass. “It burns!”   
            “Horomones, were you on any form of contraceptive lately?” she asked. Shepard jerked her head back in shock before she looked at Garrus. He simply looked at her with a deadpanned stare saying _I’m a cop you think I haven’t heard this thing before?_ She gave him a pleading one; he returned it with an eyeroll and sighed. As he walked out he paused for a second, did he just have an entire conversation with just looks?  
            “Um, no… I have an issue…” said Shepard meekly as she hugged herself. “I have some damage done to my… parts… I tried some gene treatment about a year ago to help it, but it didn’t do anything”   
            “When did the headaches start?” asked Dr. Michel as she typed away on her omni-tool.   
            “Almost a year ago… after the treatment… and after my fiancée left me.” Explained Shepard as she looked down sadly.   
            “My sympathies.” Said the Doctor gently before she pulled herself away from her ‘tool. She needed to get cleaning all this up anyways. “Good luck catching Saren.”   
            Shepard Nodded, “Sorry about the… mess” before she left the clinic.

            “Shepard?”   
            The Commander jumped and held her chest, “Christ on a Cracker!” she exclaimed before turning and looked at what was the bane of her celibacy. “What Officer?!”   
            Garrus looked at her before he smirked, “Listen Shepard, I know this is your show and all, but I want to take down Saren just as much as you do.” He paused and stood straight, “I’m coming with you”  
            “The Hell you are!” snapped Shepard. She didn’t know if she could handle baby blues with the sex voice around her constantly. Especially when she already was having issues with Kaidan being a little too friendly. What did god hate her? Why was he putting Kaidan on her, plopping a funny but pain in the ass turian on her, and then throwing this sex on legs thing at her too. She looked at him staring at her firmly, Christ he was cute. She could see him wavering under her stare, and she knew if she just held out a little longer she would win this… however those eyes got the best of her and she sighed hanging her head in defeat.   
            “Thanks Shepard” he grinned at her, his voice light and just full of the so thinly hidden happiness that he had won the argument.   
            “Okay, well, Go get your stuff or whatever… meet me at the Normandy later” sighed the woman as she started walking. When she heard the steps behind her quicken and then fall into place next to hers she sighed and stopped. “Yes?”  
            “You’re not going anywhere without me Shepard. Someone’s gotta watch your stubborn ass. No Shepard without Vakarian from now on” he told her firmly, as if he could give her orders.   
            Shepard gaped at him as he stood looking down at her with a confidence that she wanted to beat out of him. “Fine…”  
            “Fine what?”   
            “No Shepard without Vakarian” she conceded.


	12. Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeah, they're a awkward pair...

            “Shepard?”  
            “Yes Vakarian?” she mumbled  
            “You’re asleep on my shoulder…” he whispered in her ear gently.  
            Shepard’s eye flew open and she jumped up as the elevator’s doors closed yet again. Garrus didn’t want to tell her she’d been like this for three whole rides, nor did he want to tell her he mildly enjoyed having her relax around him enough where she could fall asleep (and that he had put his arm around her shoulders experimentally, but that was definitely his secret alone, especially about the part how he’d enjoyed it).  
            He was… confused, to put it simply. Shepard was a human female. He liked females. He liked Turian females. He didn’t mind humans, but as co-workers and other beings. He didn’t like Human females in the same way he liked Turian females. So why in hell was he so drawn to watching Shepard?! He caught himself watching as her shoulder blades moved under her shirt, how her hands would rest on her hips and accentuate her waist. As well as the way she would bend a knee and lift her heel when she was just standing somewhere, especially while she was nursing the slowly disappearing headache; that definitely got his attention drawn to her back which curved wonderfully when she did that. He liked the way her funny fringe stuck up at weird angles, how it looked to be one color, but when the light shone on it, it was multiple shades of browns and golds.  
            Most of all, he found he liked just how she was. He caught himself smiling often when she would twitch an eye or groan and sigh. She was so animated, her face expressing every thought and emotion. That was until she didn’t want to share it, then he was amazed at how unreadable she could be. He was also surprised he had been able to glean all this in the mere hour he’d been standing next to her waiting for their turn at the elevator.  
            He’d been scared when she suddenly just went limp seconds after sitting on the elevator bench. Until he felt her breathe and he figured out she was asleep, after shaking her a few times and trilling frantically, (but no one was there to see that). She really did need someone to take care of her, especially if she was this careless about her health. Looked like it really was going to be No Shepard without Vakarian, at least until she started looking out for herself, or until someone decided they were better for the job.    
            “Damn it! How long was I out?!” asked Shepard as she held her head and gripped her hair, stressing again.  
            “Not even half an hour” said Garrus as he looked at his omni-tool. “Come back and sit down, Spirits Shepard you are high strung” he observed as he watched her whirl and look at him. He smirked at her defeated look however and relaxed as she sat back down beside him. Not as close as before, to his mild disappointment.  
            “I’m not high strung” huffed Shepard as she crossed her arms and refused to look at him. Garrus turned and looked at her before he started laughing, sarcastically and hard.  
            “Not high strung?! Shepard! You’re heart rate is 106 and your blood pressure is reading to me at 160/124” he raised an eyebrow plate at her and scoffed, “Please, you’re the definition of high strung” he chided.  
            “Well excuse me” huffed Shepard, “Sorry for being stressed out, it’s been a pretty hard last few months for me”  
            “Tell me about it” snorted Garrus before he looked at her. “Do you ever rest?”  
            “I’ll rest when I die”  
            “No seriously…”         
            “I try, but as you can see, people tend to not let me”  
            “How about after we get this sorted, you and I? We’ll go do something to relieve some tension probably do you a lot of good” he offered.  
            “What sort of things you have in mind?” asked Shepard curiously, after all, it didn’t hurt to get to know him if he was joining her crew.  
            “Well if you were Turian I’d say let’s go grab a hotel room and fuck ourselves stupid together. Howev-” he turned and looked at her, her mouth open and eyes wide. He couldn’t help but sputter into laughter at her face. “ _However_ , You’re not turian, so how about drinks?”  
            Shepard was still staring at him, little did he know that her brain had pretty much just short circuited. The idea of sleeping with him had been annoying her since she first heard his voice, and then he just said it so nonchalantly?  
           Garrus started to feel uneasy… did she want to have sex? He looked her up and down. It didn’t take him long to find things to like about her. He’d already been admiring the shape of her when she wasn’t looking. Then again he knew he was stressed, and damn if a strong woman didn’t do it for him. Plus she smelled good, clean, mildly floral, a scent he found himself enjoying all the more while she had been asleep against him. He twitched his mandibles nervously and met her gaze.  
            Shepard jerked her head back before she looked away, crimson in the face. “I don’t really drink…” She mumbled.  
            “Well I mean if you want to have sex, I wouldn’t be against it” he shot out at the same time, before they looked at each other again and Garrus felt his neck flush blue. Shepard was nearing purple in color before she covered her eyes with one hand and looked away from him. What was so wrong with humans that they always had to feel so secretive and dirty when it came to casual sex? He’d never understand it.  
            Shepard felt like she wanted to bolt up and go cry somewhere. It would be one thing if she weren’t already attracted to sky eyes. She had it bad though, just him talking this much had her heart racing. Did he even realize how damned near irresistible he was? He had to be swimming in an ocean of partners, what in hell made him offer it up to her?  
            How long had it been since he’d even been with a woman? He leaned his head back and counted, maybe three years? It wasn’t that he wasn’t interested or anything, or even that no one propositioned him… he was just busy; not to mention the fact he was awkward as sin. He threw himself into his work and found that having a long term girlfriend made it hard; they’d constantly call and complain because he would work late. Then again, he was quitting to go off and chase Saren… No, that’d be worse… months without seeing her. Looked like it was going to continue to only be his old standby, his left hand, for a while, getting a little too familiar with the appendage for his liking.  
            Taking a deep breath he rubbed the back of his neck and continued to avoid looking at her in the eye. “So why don’t you drink?”  
            “I just never found anything I like, and it’s a little hard for me to ingest enough to even feel a buzz. Six bottle of wine before even a heated nose.” She explained still avoiding looking at him.  
            A woman that could hold her liquor, fight, and had a waist like that… spirits, were she Turian he’d been laying it on thick, or well… trying to anyways. He swallowed thickly and finally turned to look at her. She was leaning back, her head back on the head rest of the seat. He found himself looking at the long lines of her neck, and to that funny indent at the base of it between her shoulders. Where a keel bone should have been, and damn did it not do things for him?  
            “So have drinks with me, we’ll paint the town red before we leave, find you something you like. If not I’ll get hammered and you can spend the evening laughing at me” he offered. Now he just found himself wanting to have time with her. Time without her working, or he working, or anyone getting in the way; he wanted her all to himself, get to know the woman who he was, thrusting? (No you idiot! Don’t think with that word!) handing? (Yeah that one was pretty innocent) his wellbeing to.  
            “Okay… fine…” sighed Shepard as she opened one eye and looked at him. When the doors to the elevator opened again back to their desired platform she jumped up and took off. Garrus had to dart to catch up with her. Should he be that happy that she’d agreed? He didn’t know and quite frankly didn’t care. It was a chance to blow off some steam.


	13. Headless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting Wrex, Awkward Garrus and Shep, Metaphorical headbutting, Going to Fist.   
> Yep...

            Garrus stared at the back of his new boss, _Damn, Shepard… take it easy._ He thought to himself as he reached and grabbed her arm, pulling her back to his side. She looked at him with a scowl before he nervously flicked a mandible at her. Shepard, a damn fine soldier, and also someone who was a hot mess about her life outside of combat; he admired her, for being the soldier she was and he wished he could be.   
            Holding out his hand he offered her a drink, she was stressing again, and he found himself needing to try and care for her at least a little. She seemed to be so stubborn she was ignoring the fact that her vitals were off the charts and that she could stink up a room with the scent of stress. When her scowl turned into a softer look, he smirked at her. “Come on Shepard.”   
            “Okay okay” she sighed as she took the drink and opened it. One sip and she spit it out. “Oh my god what is this!?”   
            “Low sugar, high vitamin and nutrients energy soda” he said with a confused tone. “It’s good for you”   
            “No! It’s poison!” she whined, however when he rose an eyebrow at her she sighed. He was just trying to help. She grimaced and shivered before chugging it, not stopping to breathe before the can was empty. She then threw it on the ground with such force it imploded on itself. “Fuck, that was awful!”   
            Garrus watched her with wide eyes and spread mandibles as she chugged it. “Shepard, if you don’t like it, you don’t have to drink it” he informed before she finished it and threw it on the ground. He chirped in alarm as she shivered and held her stomach, gagging. “Shepard!”   
            “You took the time to get it for me Garrus, besides, you’re just being a good guy.” She whined out as she burped into her hand and made a face at the taste. _Charming_ He thought to himself with a small chuckle under his breath. He didn’t know what it was about her anymore, the fact she was an actual legend, or the fact he knew just how much of a dork she was.

            “Witnesses saw you make threats in Fist’s bar. Stay away from him” said a C-Sec officer as he stood at attention in front of a large Krogan dressed in red.   
            “I don’t take orders from you” growled the Krogan as he stood with his arms crossed and an irritated look on his face.   
            Shepard looked at the two before she looked at Garrus. He looked at her, she shrugged slowly, and he shrugged as well. She then gave him an uneasy look and he put a hand on his pistol, she gave him an uncredulous look and he clicked his mandible at her.   
            “This is your only warning, Wrex” said the officer in a stern voice. he wasn’t backing down.   
            Wrex, the Krogan, leaned in and rumbled out, “You should warn Fist. I will kill him.”  
            “You want me to arrest you?” asked the officer, his tone getting angry.   
            Wrex smirked and chuckled, “I want you to try” he then looked over at the two he saw watching him.   
            Shepard froze and went stiff, she felt Garrus’ hand twitch at her hip, his hand on his pistol. She had to admit, she felt minutely safer with him there. It wasn’t anything to actually save her or keep them save, but having someone who thought similar to her was comforting.   
            The Krogan pushed passed the Officers, “Go on! Get outta here!” said the one who had been confronting him. Wrex ignored him and then walked up to them.   
            “Do I know you, Human?” he asked.   
            Shepard stood straight and gathered herself, “The Commander” stance and air to her again as she squared off with the Krogan. “My name’s Shepard, I’m going after Fist. Thought, you might want to come along” she informed. Okay, Anderson forgot to mention that the Krogan that could help them was at least mildly intimidating.   
            “Shepard?” he asked before he looked her up and down, “Commander Shepard? I’ve heard a lot about you” he relaxed his stance and leaned in, “We’re both Warriors Shepard. Out of respect, I will give you fair warning. I’m going to kill Fist”   
            Garrus stepped up and discretely brushed his hand against Shepard’s, “Fist knows you’re coming. We’ll have a better chance if we all work together”   
            _Thank you sky eyes the boyscout…_ Thought Shepard as she moved her pinky, touching his hand in response. She appreciated the fact he wanted to be there for her, since he was the only one who knew she was completely stressed out. However he needed to be watching his footing there.   
            Wrex looked at the Turian before he looked back at Shepard. Now, that was an odd pairing if he’d ever seen one. The Turian mildly smelled of protectiveness, while the human smelled like a bunch of things. Was this really the warrior he had heard to be Shepard? She reeked of worry, fear, sickness, stress… and could that be attraction? He rumbled in thought while looking at the two. He looked Shepard in the eye however, eyes didn’t lie.   
            She was strong, stronger than she first looked, however she had taken some damage recently. Physically she was still a little soft but healing… however Wrex could see it there, in the back of her pupils… pain. His long pause brought a new scent to his nose though, narrowing his eyes he looked at Shepard.   
            Her eyebrows had furrowed, she was staring him down now. From the corner of his eye he saw her fingers twitch and touch the Turian’s hand. He now reeked of protective hormones, she was starting to smell less and less sick, and more like the turian next to her. Wrex smirked, Yes, Shepard was a warrior. However she was still a person with a heart, and anyone with a heart could have pain. He could tell though, she was willing to fight him if he took a wrong step, and she was getting protective over the Turian next to her.   
            Were they Mates? He didn’t think so, they didn’t smell strongly of each other. No, they had just met recently, he could tell by the way the turian held a little uncertainty about himself. Funny how the two traded off, Shepard first came off as scared, but was now even making Wrex a little more on edge with the stare she was giving him, she hadn’t blinked this whole time, eyes burning. The Turian however, he came off as confident, but it wavered the longer he stood there; showing the uncertainty and fear underneath.   
            Wrex took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second. Opening them he saw Shepard had relaxed mildly, “My people have a saying: Seek the enemy of your enemy, and you will find a friend.”   
            Shepard had been watching the Krogan. He was reading them, in some form of way only she could relate to but not explain. The minute she felt uneasy however she had felt Garrus tense beside her; she eased him with her hand. If the Krogan decided to become violent she would fight him. She didn’t know exactly why she felt so protective over Garrus, but the thought of him getting hurt made her furious. Armored or not, she could take down a Krogan if she was careful, they were tough, but not indestructible.  
            When he closed his eyes, she relaxed her body; however she didn’t trust it fully. When he spoke however, she relaxed and straightened, “Glad to have you on the team, Wrex” she greeted with an outstretched hand. He accepted it and shook her hand in return.   
            “Let’s go, I hate to keep Fist waiting.” He rumbled with a blood thirsty smile. Shepard laughed under her breath and smirked at him. Bowing she offered for him to lead the way. However she still didn’t take her eyes off him.   
            “Shepard” breathed Garrus as he met her side and looked at her. She looked up at him and gave a soft smile. Her hand coming up and patting his shoulder gently before she took a couple long strides to catch up with Wrex. Garrus had been concerned when the two were looking at each other so intensely. Obviously Wrex wanted to make an intimidation impression, he’d succeeded. What he hadn’t expected was for Shepard to meet it every step and give him some reassurance. He flapped his mandibles worriedly and followed, pulling them close to his face.

            “It’s shut down…” growled Wrex as he readied his shotgun. He narrowed his eyes, he knew an ambush when he saw one, living over a thousand years helped some things get remembered.   
            “Fist knows we’re coming” said Garrus as he reached behind him and grabbed his assault rifle. He looked at Shepard as she cracked her neck and moved her shoulders. “Please tell me you have a bigger gun hidden somewhere…”   
            “Oh? And where would I be hiding it Vakarian?” she asked while turning and scowling at him. “Please, feel free to look, search me for it”   
            Garrus looked at her before his mandibles went slack and he stared at her wide eyed, his neck going blue again. Shepard looked at him curiously before she looked surprised and turned pink in the face. Wrex however looked at them both and started laughing, if anything was funny, it was watching younglings be awkward with each other.   
            Garrus looked at Wrex before he looked away from both of them and reached for his sniper, his other hand holding out the assault rifle to her. “I’d really like it if my new boss didn’t get shot and die” he said softly, unable to meet her eyes.   
            Shepard looked at the gun, and then at his face. Softly she took the rifle from his outstretched hand and then moved her head so she could see his face. His baby blues looked at her and she raised her eyebrows questioningly. He flicked a mandible at her as he straightened and squared his shoulders. She gave a soft smile before her face turned hard, and a little fearsome. She was ready to fight.   
            The guards didn’t really stand a chance. Not with an expert Sniper, a Krogan Warlord, and one very irritated human woman. Who Wrex didn’t destroy, Garrus didn’t assassinate, Shepard riddled full of holes, when the other Krogan had ran toward her she just took two steps forward and swung the gun. The Krogan went tumbling to the side with a broken neck. Just for good measure she peppered his skull with the last of the ammo and handed it back to Garrus.   
            “Shepard… You better buy me a new gun” he said sadly as he looked at the damaged rifle. “And never, ever, run up to a Krogan again.” He pleaded.   
            “I didn’t run I walked”   
            “Same difference”   
            “That was some hit though Shepard, I’m impressed” said Wrex as he walked to them. He then looked at Garrus as Shepard went to the lock and started hacking it. “Worried about your potential mate?”   
            “What?!” asked Garrus reeling and jumping from Wrex.   
            “You reek of arousal, you may be able to hide it from her, but not me Turian.” he told him in his low voice. “Tough women do it for any sort of real man.”   
            Garrus face palmed, damn Krogan and their super sense of smell. They had the best out of all the Races, only followed by the Turians and Drell. “She’s not my mate, or potential mate, I just met her today”   
            “So?”  
            “She has a guy”   
            “No, she’s not with anyone, only one I smell on her is you. She’s also not the type to get all touchy with someone, you can tell by the way she stands” he scoffed and walked through the now open door.   
            Garrus watched the Krogan before he sighed, was this what Shepard meant by stress? He had no idea as to what was going on, all he knew was, seeing Shepard walk up to a Krogan with murder in her eyes had given him a mild heart attack. Not out of fear either.

            “Okay guys, we just took out all those guards, you two really want to join them?” asked Shepard with an exasperated sigh at the two dockworkers who were holding their guns to her. They looked at each other, then her, before Wrex and Garrus walked in and they looked at them, back to her, and finally back at each other.   
            “Never liked Fist anyways.” one said as they lowered their guns and walked away.   
            “Would have been easier to kill them…” mused Wrex as he popped his shoulder. He honestly would have killed them.   
            “I never would have thought of that…” added Garrus as he looked at the men leave and then to Shepard. Surprisingly she was trying to hold back a laugh as she looked at him. He felt himself give a soft smile to her as she grinned. “What?”   
            “You two are so bad; we don’t need to kill everyone we meet. Most people are just looking for a paycheck.” She snorted before she looked at Wrex and snickered as he waved a hand dismissively at the idea.  
            “Well…” Garrus had nothing to say to that, but he did admit, he liked the idea of making Shepard smile. Even if unfortunately that was because he could be a little trigger happy, especially when on a mission to get things done.   
            “Okay Okay, back to work boys” she chuckled as she turned and opened the doors to Fist’s Office.   
            Two shots, Shepard had her pistol out and the automated turrets exploded. Garrus stood slightly behind her with his Sniper up. Fist stood to shoot them, but Garrus sent a bullet into his thigh and watched him fall. He would have killed him, but well… Wrex seemed to want that and he was sure Shepard had some questions.   
            “Wait! Wait! Don’t kill me!” Fist pleaded, “I surrender”   
            Shepard walked up and kicked his bad leg, her boot then coming down on his chest. “Tell me where the Quarian is and I won’t have my friends here blow out your kneecaps” she spoke. Her voice was oddly calm… and more than sufficiently scary.   
            “She’s not here! I don’t know where she is!” begged Fist as Shepard applied more pressure under her boot. “That’s the Truth!”.   
            “He’s lying” said Garrus as he readied his rifle.   
            Shepard hummed thoughtfully as she kept pushing down on his chest. Fist cried out as the sound of cracking came from him. Her eyes were cold, emotionless. “Hmmmm?” she asked as she condensed the pressure by lifting her heel and pressing harder. His armor shattered under the force. Garrus looked at the armor and to Shepard without turning his head. Damn, did she had to be strong to be doing that.   
            “The Quarian isn’t here! Said she’d only deal with the Shadow Broker himself.” He grunted as he felt pieced of his now broken armor digging into his flesh.   
            “Impossible, the Shadow Broker only works through his agents” Garrus called out.   
            Shepard removed her foot and only watched as Fist struggled to stand. When he did she simply rolled her neck and looked at him. She didn’t need to open her mouth to strike fear across his face. He swallowed thickly, “Nobody meets the Shadow Broker. Ever. Even I don’t know his true identity; but she didn’t know that. I told her I’d set a meeting up.” He paused, “But when she shows up, it’ll be Saren’s men waiting for her.”   
            Shepard took her thinking stance before she made another humming noise. “Wrex” she warned. Wrex had been preparing his shotgun, but he froze. Garrus looked at him before he raised his brow plates at him. Her eyes raising from the ground to look at Fist, she spoke to him, “Now, tell me where the meeting is before I let him blow you in half”   
            Wrex was a little shocked, he was sure he’d been silent. Hell, he’d known he was silent while preparing his weapon. He didn’t know why he froze either, was it the sheer intensity of which her voice had shot through his skull and delivered the warning? He didn’t know, but as she mentioned him killing Fist he smiled and cocked his shotgun.   
            Fist was shaking, it was barely visible, but even Shepard could smell the fear from him. The way his eyes were dilated as she looked at him. He was terrified of her, and for good reason. She may have looked like a normal human woman, but only a fool would believe that after her display of power to his armor. She had done that without the help of her armor, all pure strength from her muscles, and it hadn’t even got her breathing hard. She was tired, and worn down, yet she cracked armor so easily. This was not someone to trifle with.   
            “Here on the Wards” he started, barely able to contain the quake in his voice. “The back alley by the markets. She’s supposed to meet them now, if you hurry you can make it”   
            Shepard rubbed the back of her neck, the brown of her eyes glowing orange, or at least it appeared to be. “And… am I supposed to just forget your part in all this?” she asked.   
            “But… I came clean!” said Fist as he looked at her, now visibly shaking in fear; before his eyes went to Wrex. It was the last thing he saw; before the Krogan blew his head clean off.   
            Shepard closed her eyes and growled as blood splattered on her face. “Wrex.” She snarled.   
            “I told you I would kill him”   
            “Next time, wait to do that when I am not in splatter range” she ordered, turning she looked at him, no… her eyes were definitely glowing. Wrex closed his mouth and looked at her. On impulse he wanted to make a remark, however… he was rethinking that as the best option now. He’d seen that before, the eyes doing that thing, however his age was clouding his memory and he couldn’t remember exactly where. They’d been blue that time though.   
            “Let’s go… I need that Quarian alive” she growled.   
            Garrus looked between Shepard and Wrex and felt the tension build. He didn’t know if he wanted to be in the same room if they exploded on each other, he was safe though as Wrex seemed to think it was just best if he not butt heads with Shepard. Garrus had no idea what her face looked like then, but he had no desire to find out. Carefully he grabbed Shepard’s elbow and moved her to get walking, and bravely he stepped between the two. “Let’s go rescue a Quarian”


	14. The Fledgling and The Pyjack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wrex be knowing, Tali be awesome, Garrus and Shep be... well... Garrus and Shep.

            Shepard didn’t even flinch as the first few bullets whizzed past her. She just kept walking, her pistol raising and shooting one man in the chest three times as he came in front of her. She was on a mission, that was for sure, pure determination in her eyes as she walked right out of the club and left Garrus and Wrex to play target practice. They made quick work of it however, and caught up with her just as the doors opened to the back alley.

            “Did you bring it?” asked a Turian as he walked up to the Quairan female who stood there, her shoulders firm and square.  
            “Where’s the Shadow Broker? Where’s Fist?” she asked, her voice barely showing her uneasiness.  
            The assassin sauntered up to her and ran his hand down the side of her helmet and onto her shoulder, seductive intent obvious, “He’ll be here.” He purred at her while running his gloved fingers to her hand and taking it, “Where’s the Evidence?”  
            The Quarian shoved him off, “No way, the deal’s off.” She said firmly.  
            His face when calm before he just barely shrugged and looked just over her shoulder, taking a few steps back he gave the now emerging back up room to do his bidding. Two Salarians pulled out their pistols, the Quarian looked at them before she pulled something from her behind her and threw it, diving into cover just before the grenade went off.  
            Shepard began shooting, her pistol running out of ammo four shots in. she’d shot one Salarian but he was still trying to shoot her, so she improvised. Chucking the empty gun at him and hitting him in the face. “Take ‘em out!” called the assassin from somewhere to her left.  
            Wrex charged into the other Salarian, his body breaking and landing in a near sickening heap. The impact of a Krogan into his slim body couldn’t have ended well.  
            Garrus was lining up a shot, however he was growing frustrated, especially since he was trying to shoot the assassin that Shepard was dancing with. Finally she delivered a killer head-butt and Garrus took the shot. The Turian’s face going slack as a hold in his head began to lean blue blood. He fell back onto the floor dead.  
            “Thank you Vakarian” called Shepard.  
            “Anytime Shepard” huffed Garrus as he thumped his forehead on the crate he had been using for cover. _I may be regretting tagging along now…_ he thought, mostly out of frustration that he had to wait to get in a shot.

            The Quarian was shaking ever so slightly as she came from behind a single crate. Shepard however couldn’t tell if it was from anger or feat.  
            “Fist set me up! I knew I couldn’t trust him!” she spat, okay the mild shaking was anger.  
Shepard held up a hand and waited for the Quarian to go quiet. “Don’t worry about Fist, he’s not in a state to think of anything anymore” she said, it took a lot of control to not smile when Wrex started chuckling. “Are you injured?”  
            “I’m fine, and I guess there are two things I need to thank you for.” She paused, “Who are you?”  
            “My name is Shepard, I’m looking for evidence to prove Saren’s a traitor”  
            The Quarian took a moment, as if contemplating something, “Then I have a chance to repay you for saving my life. But not here, we need to go someplace safe.” She insisted.  
            Shepard nodded and put her hands behind her back, “Would the Embassies be a suitable place? Specifically the Human Ambassador’s office?”  
            The Quarian nodded and Shepard lead the way out of the back alley, followed closely by the Quarian. Garrus had moved to fall into step right beside Shepard, as he had been, but stopped as the Quarian took a hurried step to get close to Shepard. He clicked his mandible, mildly irritated at that, but said nothing. He didn’t even know why it irritated him, but all he knew was that he considered that “his spot”.

 

            Shepard walked into the office and immediately was being scolded. “You’re not making my life easy Shepard. Firefights in the wards? An all out assault on Chora’s Den? Do you know how many-” Udina stopped as he turned and saw the Quarian female. “Who’s this? A Quarian? What are you up to Shepard?”  
            Shepard took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose, “Making your damned day Amb _ass_ ador” she hissed, enunciating the “ass” in the word “ambassador”. Udina deepened his scowl at her, Anderson raised his brows and tried not to smirk. Wrex just flat out chuckled while Garrus crossed his arms and smirked. Noticing her right side was free he took a step and met her side. This was his spot, yep, his spot.  
            Shepard looked at Garrus briefly as he wormed his way in between the Quarian and her, she just gave a short breath. “She has information connecting Saren to the Geth” she told Udina. Garrus looked mighty pleased with himself, Shepard noticed. It made her feel a little lighter, whatever had him happy she was glad for it.  
            “Maybe?” asked Udina, his tone suspicious, “Maybe you’d better start at the beginning, Miss…?”  
            The Quarian took a step forward and gestured to herself. “My name is Tali, Tali’Zorah Nar Rayya”  
            Udina continued, “We don’t see many Quarians here, Why did you leave the Flotilla?” he questioned.  
            Tali looked at him before she started pacing, “I was on my Pilgrimage, my right of passage into adulthood.” Shepard made a questioning, curious noise and Tali looked at her. “It is a tradition among my people. When we reach maturity, we leave the ships of our parents and our people behind. Alone, we search the stars, returning to the Flotilla only once we have discovered something of value. In this way, we prove ourselves worthy of adulthood.”  
            “What kinds of things?” asked Shepard, now fully interested and curious. New things to learn, she was on it.  
            “It could be resources like food or fuel. Or some type of useful technology. Or even knowledge that will make life easier on the Flotilla.” She looked at everyone, seemingly pleased to teach them something of her people. “Through our Pilgrimage, we prove that we will contribute to the community, rather than being a burden on our limited resources.”  
            Curiosity sated, Shepard then moved her hand gently to urge Tali to continue. Tali looked confused before Garrus nodded his head to Udina and Anderson. Shepard was standing with her arms crossed, one hand up to support her chin. Her eyes were half lidded, as if she was aware and comforted by how close he was. Which was true, she was, however she figured it was just Garrus’ nerves and didn’t have the heart to move, today had been stressful so far to say the least.  
            Tali looked at the two, before at Garrus specifically and then nodded, taking a breath she straightened, “During my travels I began hearing reports of Geth” she said in her most formal voice. “Since they drove my people into exile, they have never ventured beyond the veil, I was curious.” She smiled to herself secretly behind her helmet, her eyes looking again at the turian. “I tracked a patrol of Geth to an uncharted world. I then waited for one to become separated from its unit” she paused for dramatic effect, “Then I disabled it and removed its memory core.”  
            Garrus gave a short rumble, impressed by her skills. It was no easy task to take down a geth and then recovering anything from it. He looked at Shepard sideways, only to see her having turned her head slightly to look at him, an eyebrow raised questioningly. _Crap, that probably sounded like more than praise… why the hell am I worried about that?_ He thought to himself before he looked back at Shepard and carefully shifted so he was just barely touching his hip to hers.  
            Wrex was doing his best to hold in the laughter, figuring now wasn’t the time to be laughing at the antics of younglings and their hormones. The Turian didn’t realize it but he liked Shepard, Shepard liked the Turian and Wrex was pretty sure she knew of it. He couldn’t pin the Quarian though, it was their damned suits, kept them from being able to release scents. Wrex had been alive long enough to see that some people just found attraction in others after a few moments together, not that he remembered much about love. It’d been awhile since he’d seen his woman… Centuries…  
            Anderson looked confused, “I thought Geth fried their memory cores when they died. Some kind of defense mechanism”  
            Shepard looked curious again, her eyes bright, like she had perked up. Garrus smiled gently to himself, he’d not seen this side of the commander, He saw her embarrassed, angry, nervous, protective, and stressed out. However the brightness that came to her face was something new and very welcomed to see cross her features. “Is that true?” mouthed Shepard to Garrus. He gave her a small shrug before he tuned back into listening to the Quarian.  
            “My people created the Geth” Tali said with barely hidden pride, “If you’re Quick, Careful, and Lucky small caches of data can sometimes be saved.” She then seemed proud of herself, “Most of the core was wiped clean, but I managed to salvage something from it’s audio banks” she said as she brought up her omni-tool and hit play.

“Eden Prime was a major Victory! The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit” sounded Saren’s voice clearly.

            Anderson looked pleased, “This proves he was involved on the attack on Eden Prime.”  
            Shepard was ridged, her knuckles now white as she clenched her fist. “And proves he hurt Nihlus.” She muttered angrily to herself. Garrus crossed his arms and gently moved his fingers so they touched her arm. She turned her head slightly and looked at him, her eyes going to his to tell him she was fine. He nodded, but he still was concerned. _Nihlus… that sounds familiar and it sounds like a turian name._  
            Anderson commented something about the Conduit that Shepard only half heart, however she took note on the name of the mystery object to research later. Tali then spoke up, “Wait, Saren wasn’t working alone. There’s more.”  
            She fiddled on her omni-tool and replayed the recording, then let it keep playing. A female voice then came through.

            “And one step closer to the return of the Reapers” the feminine voice said, almost as if the ominous words were honey from her throat.

            Shepard stared at Tali’s omni-tool. That feeling was crawling up her spine again, the hair on her neck going straight up as she heard that name “Reapers” it wasn’t a good word in English origin. Bringers of destruction and death, so nothing with that name in galactic space could have a good meaning to it either. Her memory went to the vision she’d had on Eden Prime, and suddenly she felt her body go cold.  
            She knew the Protheans had pretty much vanished fifty thousand years ago, that had to be connected. Anything that made a race just completely vanish was fitting to a name as dark as “reapers”. She ignored Anderson and Udina talk about them and the council while she dug through her own knowledge reserves. She remembered slight blurbs about them mentioned in something she’d read recently, but her mind was exhausted, far too exhausted to go trudging through the vast amount of information she kept in her brain about various things. Whatever it had been, The Reapers, were not a good thing and certainly weren’t something to welcome. She had to tell the Council, warn them. “They need to know.”  
            “Who needs to know?” asked Udina sharply.  
            “The Council” said Shepard as she straightened, “About the Reapers, all this, they need to know. This is dangerous beyond belief and we’re lucky to have gotten a warning this early” she explained.  
            Udina merely scoffed at her, she glared at him before Anderson spoke. “No matter what is on those audio files, this proves Saren is a traitor!”  
            “The Captain is right, we need to present this to the Council right away” Udina said urgently.  
            Wrex jutted his chin out, “What about the Quarian?”  
            “My name is Tali” snipped Tali as she turned to look at Wrex. She then looked at Shepard, “You saw me in the alley Commander, you know what I can do. Let me come with you!”  
            Shepard met her gaze, straightening, “and your Pilgrimage?” she questioned.  
            Tali grew passionate, “The Pilgrimage proves we are willing to give of ourselves for the greater good! What does it say about me if I turn my back on this!”  She huffed angrily, “Saren is a danger to the entire Galaxy, my Pilgrimage can wait”  
            Shepard looked at her, her eyebrow rising, “Alright” was all she said. It wasn’t that Shepard didn’t trust Tali, okay so she didn’t trust her. Shepard however just didn’t know her yet, plus she was running on fumes, completely exhausted. She couldn’t rest yet though, more to do of course.  
            Tali paused for a moment, before she nodded, “Thanks, you won’t regret this” she said coolly. Looks like Tali didn’t realize how tired Shepard was. Then again, Wrex and Garrus could feel her exhaustion, Garrus especially since he was almost glued to her.

            Udina straightened; he looked at Shepard and his heart struck with worry. If she was too tired to act properly she could risk ruining everything. “Anderson and I will arrange a meeting with the Council tomorrow evening. Take this time to collect yourself Shepard”  
            Shepard looked at Udina, however she understood and simply nodded politely, leaving the room. Garrus quickly followed her claiming “his spot” on her right side again; leading Wrex to smirk. Tali fell into step right behind Garrus, which made Wrex chuckle.

            Shepard dragged her feet all the way to a bench before she just fell back into it, her eyes closing and her head going back. Garrus sat down beside her and leaned forward on his knees, his hands holding his head. Wrex just leaned back against the railing and reviewed the things he’d learned today. While Tali sat next to Garrus and leaned into him ever so slightly.  
            It was several long moments before someone spoke. “Where’s your ship Shepard?” asked Wrex.  
            “D24, can’t miss it, it’s the fancy one named “The Normandy” she groaned as she pulled her head up. “I really don’t feel like going back there right now. Probably should go back to the hospital”  
            Garrus looked at her, “Are you injured?” he voice threaded with worry.  
            “No, Nihlus… my friend, he’s in there in a coma right now” she informed Garrus. Garrus looked at her seriously, “Shepard, I think you should sleep.”  
            “Have you slept in a sleeper pod recently?” asked Shepard with a small laugh, “It’s shit”  
            “Hotel?”  
            “Too expensive” she moaned while looking at him, “Vakarian…” she warned.  
            Wrex just gave laughter, “I will take the little Quarian with me to go find the ship. Then how about we all just meet for dinner.” He asked. Tali looked at him she was about to say something but Garrus stood up. “Alright, I’ll take Shepard to the Hospital then”  
            “I can go on my own Vakarian”  
            “Yes, you can, but you’re not” he told her while staring at her; offering her a hand he clicked at her demandingly.  
            Shepard looked at his hand, and then him before sighing in defeat. He really was going to win every argument against her, she couldn’t resist those eyes. She took his hand and let him pull her up. “Should I call a cab?” he asked.  
            “Why? I have legs and feet, we can walk” she huffed. She stumbled a little, her boots too heavy for her weakening legs. Garrus caught her and then offered her his arm. “Oh? Playing gentleman now Vakarian?”  
            “Well, can’t let a Lady be stumbling around” he returned.  
            “What Lady?” She asked. He just laughed as they walked, he had to admit to himself he felt pretty good next to her.  
            Wrex watched them and hummed to himself a small laughter, “Come on little Quarian” he ordered. Tali watched them walk off and felt herself pout a little. The Turian was cute… really handsome. Plus he was a turian and that meant they could eat the same food. What was he doing with a human?  
            “Are they a couple?” asked Tali curiously.  
            Wrex looked over his shoulder at her, “Who? The Fledgling and The Pyjack? Not yet” he said simply as he continued walking. Tali looked at him before quickly back at Garrus and Shepard walking away, she then sighed, defeated for now, and followed the Krogan.


	15. Goodbyes and Greetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tali being cute bby with a crush, Wrex being annoyed.  
> Garrus flirting with Shep, Shep being dumb but cute.  
> Saren says goodbye to his Mate

            “What do you mean not yet?” asked Tali as she caught up to the Krogan barreling through the crowd. She was curious, she wanted to know… and who could blame her with an incredibly handsome Turian like Garrus Vakarian around. She wasn’t much further to her twentieth birthday; she could start looking at men like they were more than simply platonic. Why not a turian anyways, they could do so many things together.  
            “Just as I said, they’re not a couple yet” said Wrex with a grumble as he squinted his eyes and looked at a map. He was terrible with directions, he had been all his life, and though he’d had a thousand years to perfect his navigational skill… well… why bother?  
            “So… the turian… he’s…” she drifted off, her mask fogging up a little as her skin flushed behind the thick glass.  
            “Single? I suppose that’s a term you could apply to him” Wrex mused. He didn’t understand what Tali meant to do with this information, but he wasn’t sure if he liked any of the ideas popping up. Shepard was already carrying a torch for the turian, and he her. Wrex could smell it off them like he could smell that the human that just walked by him ate cheese in the last twenty minutes. By his standards, Shepard, being the warrior she was, had her pick of the males to court. That any eligible man should feel honored and lucky such a woman would consider him as a potential mate. Then again he was a Krogan and it was a little different for his species than it was others.  
            Tali smiled widely, “Do you think he likes Quarians? Do you know how old he is? What’s his full name? His favorite color?” she asked. Tali was getting ahead of herself thinking that Wrex knew all of that information. As far as he knew, the Turian liked to kill people, and he liked Shepard. That was the extent of his knowledge.  
            “I have no idea missy, ask him yourself! Grow a quad” said Wrex losing his patience, his tone was only mildly irritated however. “If you want someone make it known, how are they supposed to know you burn for them if you never say it?” he asked as he finally found the docks and began walking up the stairs, he didn’t know if he could take riding an elevator with the little Quarian.  
            “Would he like that? Does he like bold women?” she asked, mostly to herself this time. Wrex just sighed heavily and ignored her questions. He wasn’t getting involved in this, for all he knew Shepard was going to destroy the little female for going around her turf.

 

            Shepard was laughing, it was tired, and a little weak, but it was good honest laughter. Garrus beamed at himself internally that he was able to make her laugh. She looked like she needed to laugh a little, and he could understand why. Reaching out he opened the pavilion doors to the hospital and held it for her. He’d taken her in through a side entrance, on purpose, to walk with her a little longer and show her some of the nice flora.  
            “Well look at you; careful Vakarian, a girl could get used to this” she joked as she walked in. Garrus smirked to himself again, was he actually pulling off being smooth? This was a totally new thing for him and he loved it, besides… it never hurt to show a woman that she mattered. Shepard was a woman after all, she smelled like one anyways, and his scans didn’t show anything out of the ordinary when it came to the necessities of being a female.  
            “Maybe a ‘Girl’ should get used to this” he replied smoothly. The feminine laugh that came from Shepard made him spread his mandibles in a wide grin at her. He couldn’t fully contain the rumbling in his chest anymore either, a very small, almost unnoticeable purr came from his chest.  
            Shepard put a hand on her stomach and held the healing bullet wound with a small sound. “Ah, you’re funny Vakarian. Testing your lines on your commander?” she hummed, amused at his attentions, she wasn’t willing to admit they made her feel light and happy in a way she barely remembered. “I should punish you for that” she joked good naturedly. He offered her his arm again and she took it, maybe just a tad too eagerly.  
            Garrus softened his gaze down at her, it was a little sad that she thought he was simply playing. However he didn’t argue, as cocky as he could be… what if she really wasn’t interested? He didn’t flirt often, let alone did he even find interest in a woman without her initiating it. However the hot mess, brown haired, tough as nails Commander had gotten his attention. He couldn’t deny himself anymore; he liked her, as more than a cool boss.

 

            “Saren…” muttered Nihlus in his sleep as he rested the invalid turian was in bad shape, mentally and physically. However he’d woken for a few moments a few hours ago. Now he was in a simple sleep, fitful as he remembered seeing his lover aim the gun at him and then pull the trigger.  
            “Nihlus” sighed Saren as he sat on a chair next to the bed. His hands were holding one of Nihlus’ gently. It was a moment of clarity for him, his brain was so often muddled these days, but he’d had clarity since he’d heard Nihlus was alive.  
            Gently he leaned over and pressed his forehead to Nihlus’, a soft purr coming from his chest. Saren wasn’t a loving man, he wasn’t a kind man; however he was kind to his lover… or at least he had tried so hard to be. Keening softly he gently stroked at the man’s colony markings.  
            “I had planned to bond with you” he admitted under his breath to Nihlus, “To go back to that planet, spend another month there… just you and I” he sighed. “Then I messed it all up, I have this thing ruining my mind. I have to do this though Nihlus, I have to make the world great for us, so we can have a future” he spoke in soft tones.  
            “I love you” he told the sleeping man softly, “I have never slept with anyone else while I’ve had you. It’s always just been you” he told him firmly as he looked at that beloved face. Saren looked down at his hand and unfastened a silver chain on his wrist. On it hung a photo chip, all the images of them together. Saren kept it near him always, as much of a cold and cruel man as he was… the one thing that mattered to him more than work was Nihlus.  
            Gently he fastened the chain around Nihlus’ thicker wrist; it fit, much better than it did on Saren’s now bony ones. One last, longing touch of his forehead to Nihlus’ and then as if a sigh he was gone. No trace left other than the scent and love token on Nihlus.  
            Nihlus woke with a start and started gasping. He looked around frantically, green eyes bright and hopeful, before he realized that he was too late. Looking at his wrist he saw the chain and felt the keen in his chest erupt.  
            Emotions he’d been keeping bottled up broke free; all their power in his cries. Why had Saren hurt him? What was so important that Saren had left him? Did he not love him? Nihlus had loved him, he may have joked about sharing his bed, but he craved no one else but the man he had grown so attached to. His hand went to the wound in his chest, barely missing his heart. He wished it had, he wished it had killed him. Then at least he wouldn’t be alive, craving the person who he both loathed and loved.

            Shepard heard the cries as soon as the elevator doors opened. Panicked she took off, Garrus staggering before jogging to catch up to her.  
            “Nihlus!” she cried as she kicked open his door.  
            “Echo?” he asked confused, before he made the saddest sound ever and gripped his sheets. He felt so alone, all he craved was comfort. Warmth like he’d felt awhile asleep and Saren had been near.  
            Shepard sniffled before she crossed to his bedside in a hurry and hugged him. She didn’t care if it was weird, but she could tell he needed her. She’d never once left someone to suffer and it wouldn’t start now. Nihlus put his arms around her and keened into his chest. “He was here, Shepard he was here!”  
            Shepard shushed him and stroked her hand over his fringe. “He can’t hurt you Nihlus, not anymore, he’s a criminal now.” She told him, before she remembered the look he had had on Eden Prime, her heart sank further for him as she understood then the pain he was feeling. It was so much deeper than fear.  
            Garrus stood and watched, before he inhaled the scent of the dishonored specter. Hand on his pistol he started checking the room for bugs, anything that the turian could have left to keep tabs on his victim.  
            “Who’s that?” asked Nihlus as he shakenly took in a breath and pulled his head from Shepard’s arms.  
            “I made another friend, looks like you warmed me up to your scary species” joked Shepard gently as she ran a hand over his fringe. She didn’t know how intimate that was to turians, and Nihlus really didn’t care. He was just thankful that someone had been there to comfort him in any way they could.  
            Garrus stood straight and turned just in time to see Shepard stroke the other turian’s fringe. He felt his heart go to his stomach then and his mandibles tightly to his face.  
            Nihlus noticed this before he looked worried, “It’s not like that!” he said quickly before wincing and holding his chest; keening again from pain.  
            Shepard eased him to lay back, her hand still stroking his fringe. Nihlus grabbed her hand to stop. “Don’t do that, for us… it’s something between lovers” he explained. It hurt him to make her stop the contact, but someone was obviously interested in Shepard. He wasn’t going to ruin her chances.  
            “Oh, I’m sorry, that must’ve been awkward for you” sighed Shepard sadly as she took his hand instead and held it between hers. “I didn’t know. You just were so upset… I’m sorry”  
            Nihlus shook his head and gripped her hand. “Introduce me”  
            Shepard looked at him and then to Garrus, she nodded her chin for him to come closer. “This is Officer Garrus Vakarian, he’s been helping me hunt for Saren and has even decided to come with me on the Normandy to catch him.” she explained. “Vakarian, this is my friend… she stopped and swallowed thickly, my only friend before today. Specter Nihlus Kryik”  
            Garrus was unsure of everything, sure, Shepard was human and chances likely were that she didn’t know that stroking Nihlus’ fringe gave off the impression they were a couple. He nodded in greeting, to which Nihlus nodded back with a weak smile, “Echo? Will you find me a nurse?” he asked her softly.  
            Shepard nodded and gently put his hand down at his side before taking off. Nihlus watched her go before he looked back at Garrus. “We’re really just friends… I love someone else” he admitted, not saying anymore. Garrus looked at him, the man’s subvocals were screaming with desperation for him to have his honesty believed. Garrus simply sighed and relaxed fully.  
            “Do you have any idea why Saren was here?” he asked sitting in the chair next to the bed. Nihlus was silent for a long time, he didn’t know whether or not he should let it be known that he and Saren had been lovers. It was taboo to have serious homosexual relationships in turian culture, sexual flings not really, but to be in love?  
            He decided he didn’t care what others thought. Saren was a traitor and a criminal now anyways. “To say goodbye… to me” said Nihlus as he turned and looked away from Garrus.  
            The other male looked mildly surprised but then made a soft purring noise and understood. Garrus tentatively took Nihlus’ hand and held it firmly. “I’m sorry”.  
            Nihlus looked at him and just chirruped in shock, before the keening started again. “You’re a good one Vakarian” said Nihlus softly. “I’m good at reading people, you’re a good guy.” He repeated as Shepard then came in with a nurse.  
            Shepard held herself as she went to his side; Garrus got up from the chair and offered it to her. When she shook her head he rolled his eyes and made her sit. Nihlus gave a weak smile as he watched that. _Spirits, thank you, you found someone good for Echo so fast. Please watch over her, watch over him ._ Nihlus swallowed thickly before he closed his eyes, _Watch over my mate, help him find peace, whatever had made him do this, help him break from it…_ He couldn’t hold down the keening anymore and let it come. Shepard jumped up and fussed over him, the Nurse ordering her back as she checked his chest wound.  
            “You shouldn’t be awake yet Specter Kryik” she huffed as she looked down at him. “Please take it very easy, rest” she ordered.  
            “I’ll make sure he does” said Shepard as the nurse left. She then sat back down and took his hand again. “Do you need anything?”  
            Nihlus looked at her softly, he felt blessed to have made such a caring friend; someone who cared so much for him in so little time. He could say he cared for her just as much; he was alone aside from a frail and aging mother who was nearing her final years. “I’m okay Echo, thank you for coming to me”  
            “Of course I would come.” She huffed as she sniffled and gripped his hand tightly. “We’re friends right? You embarrass me with sexual jokes and I entertain you with my dark humor.” Nihlus stopped keening for a split second to give her a purr. “Besides you still owe me for leaving your mark”  
            “I said I was sorry!” he keened harder, to which Shepard jolted up and hugged him again.  
            “I was kidding! Nihlus it’s okay, I’m okay. Everything will be okay” she panicked. “Please stop with the sound, you were right it is dreadful. It’s breaking my cold stony heart”  
            Nihlus wanted to stop, he really did, however everything was so much for him right now. He was thankful for Shepard and her friend, but stupidly he wanted his lover. He wanted his mate.


	16. Bad Men Can Love Too...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saren and Nihlus... feels and yes I did cry while writing this.

           Garrus felt for the man, he wanted to keen a little too from the despair that Nihlus was emitting. For someone’s mate to do that to them, for someone who loved another so much to be betrayed by that person. He couldn’t fathom the pain that Nihlus felt. When a turian found a mate, it was pretty much game over. If one died, it was incredibly rare that someone would ever be able to make them feel like that again. Nihlus couldn’t be that much older than him, and yet he was already feeling such a terrible pain.   
            “Shepard” he spoke softly. She stood straight and looked at him cusiously, “I’m going to go get a couple drinks and some dinner. Wait here okay?” he asked gently while patting her shoulder. Quickly and quietly he left the room to go provide them with sustenance.   
            Very slowly, Nihlus calmed down; soothed by the presence of someone he did trust. Shepard was just one of those people who you could instantly tell where you stood with her. “He’s cute, and spirits know you’ll need eye candy on the ship now that I’m not going to be there” he weakly laughed as he just looked at Shepard.   
            “Shut up gimpy” sighed Shepard as she patted his hand and smiled gently. “He is a very good person. Kind of wild, believes everything is either black or white… but he is a good person” she told her friend softly.   
            “He likes you, absolutely reeks of attraction. His subvocals were pretty upset too when you were stroking my fringe” he informed her.   
            “Ugh, so that’s what his buzzing sound means?” she asked with a sigh, “You people need to work on not making that so loud” she huffed.   
            “Well most humans can’t hear it at all, so it’s a mystery as to why you can.” laughed Nihlus carefully as he squeezed her grip. “I hope you have a chance, remember that you matter too Echo” he then snickered, “Besides, look at how he jumped up at the chance to provide for you. Cute little guy, thinks with his instincts, as if you’re looking for a suitable mate to raise babies with”   
            Shepard sputtered into laughter, “Okay you’re joking. He’s just being kind and knows I haven’t had anything since hours ago when he made me down a Vitacola”   
            “Oh! Nasty!” complained Nihlus with a wail. “Oh Echo, I take that back, he’s terrible, don’t like him”   
            Shepard started laughing and looked at him. “Tell me”   
            Nihlus hesitated before he took a deep breath, “We were in love.” He said gently, “I met him here on the Citadel. I thought he was dangerous and cool, like some sort of antihero in an adventure story.” he smiled softly, “At first it was just sex, he wanted someone to fuck, and I just wanted to be near him. “Eventually, meeting for a fuck turned into sleeping somewhere together. That turned into meetings for more than just sex. That evolved into doing missions together. We then started going on getaways together… before we finally took out first Vacation together. Went camping on some backwater planet.” He keened softly, “It was beautiful, we shot things, talked, fished, ate, drank, slept, and for the first time he made love to me.” He explained. “I loved him Echo, we were supposed to be in an open relationship, but I loved him.”   
            Shepard listened attentively, to see how close Turians were to humans, they loved just as deeply, and could be hurt just as much. She gave him a soft gaze as he spoke, listening to the tones in his voice become bittersweet and breathless as he talked about the man who was now the most wanted in the Galaxy.   
            “We last saw each other six months ago. Just a weekend together… between missions; he made love to me again. Turian sex isn’t something that’s very soft and gentle… We’re predatory beings, we like it hard and rough typically” explained Nihlus, “Oh, how soft he was though, I felt so loved. The only pain was when he bit me, and that’s a pain no turian will complain about from their lover”   
            “Why biting?”   
            “It’s like saying you own each other, no one else but you two can touch each other. Saren owned me, and surprisingly he let me own him as well. I was so sure he was going to ask us to be exclusive… it never came.” He said sadly as he looked at his hand and then noticed the chain.   
            Shepard followed his gaze and looked at him curiously, “What?”   
            “This was Saren’s, he kept it on him at all times, said it held important data” Nihlus muttered as he gently undid the clasp and took the chip, sliding it against his wrist to activate his omni-tool. Shepard halfway sat on the bed so she could see as well, unwilling to let Nihlus go through this alone unless he asked.

            A video message played, Saren’s miniature holographic form standing in front of them.  “Nihlus, if you’re seeing this, then everything is getting closer to the final goal.” The voice spoke. “For months now, I have been working with others to bring something wonderful to the Galaxy… or at least I believe it’s wonderful, right now” he stopped talking and played with his hands. Shepard didn’t think Saren could look so… normal.   
            “My mind, is leaving me. I don’t recognize myself most days. I have never been a kind and caring man, I know this. However, I have never felt such disgust for all life in the galaxy, other than humans, which you know” he said with a small chuckle. “I wish I could have just left it as it was on Eden Prime. However, when that bitch said you were alive…” he paused and growled, “Why her Nihlus?! What does she have that you needed?! Why sleep with her? Was I not enough?” he asked seeming distraught. “I can’t blame you though, we never did say we were exclusive.” He smirked at that, “Look at that, you managed to get me to care about trivial things. Remember when I would have just taken you? Now you have me wishing I had just let you flaunt that mark. Maybe things would be different”   
            Nihlus’ free hand went to his neck and touched the discrete scarring there. He keened slightly, the sound so heartbreaking.   
            “I made a lot of these over the past six months, they’re all here. All of our photos together, those sentimental snapshots you insisted we take. I looked at them more than I would have ever admitted to you. The reason I never let you use the terminal in my ship? Because there are pictures of you all over it, or there was… until the voice made me destroy them” he said gently, “It’s killing me Nihlus, soon I won’t be me anymore, not a shred of my own mind to be left. That’s why I am saying goodbye.”   
            Nihlus took a shaky breath as he held his neck and watched the little hologram; his mandibles tight to his face as he tried to keep himself together.   
            “I love you.” Finally said Saren as he looked up at where he had assumed Nihlus’ face would be, he was right. “I’m a wicked, cold, evil man… Ruthless to the core.” He keened lightly, “But I love you, I never slept with anyone else, no one else could make me feel like you did. I love you with every shred of who I am, who I was, who I wanted to be for you. I wanted us to be bonded, I had plans for it too.” He told his invisible lover passionately, “Back on that backwoods planet, just us, your mother, and some sort of officiant. Nothing fancy, I know how you like things simple. The chain you’ll find this on? That was my gift for you, made it myself, don’t laugh. You always told me you wanted something completely sentimental from me” he looked down again.   
            “You’re probably sick of my voice by now, you probably hate me. For good reason, I shot you in the face, and then I couldn’t even bring myself to shoot you through the heart. It told me to Nihlus, but I couldn’t, It told me to kill you.” He nearly warbled out, “Anyways, Bad men don’t show emotion. I’m the worst, so keep this a secret.” Saren then looked up one last time. “I love you Nihlus.” Was the last thing that was said before the hologram froze and then went to a small menu.   
            Nihlus felt empty inside, was this what happened when the heart was broken too far to cry? He looked at Shepard then, who looked at him and wiped her eyes. He choked on a sob before he reached for her, Shepard giving him the hug he was silently begging for. She’d gone through all this pain alone, and Sophie hadn’t really loved her. Saren spoke of something being wrong with his mind, a voice, how it was changing him… but she believed him as he told Nihlus he loved him. Saren was a horrible person, but at least he was true to his mate”

            Garrus was standing just outside the door, holding a large bag in one hand as he leaned his head against the wall. He hated Saren, he hated him and wanted him taken down… the rage burned even hotter knowing he could do this to someone he loved. Garrus closed his eyes as he regained some composure, how weak did someone have to be to be able to let any force in the universe turn them against the one they loved? He didn’t understand it, probably never would. Sure he liked Shepard, she was strong and funny… easy on the eyes; but he’d never once been in love and had honestly never planned to be.   
            He took a deep breath and continued to wait; he figured that they needed some time. Just from what little he’d seen he could tell they were close. He supposed those who were alone cherished the ones they found comfort in more than others. He didn’t understand that himself, he had never been truly alone. Thinking of it, his mind went to Shepard, why was she?

            “Was it like this?” asked Nihlus as he rested back again, his chest vibrating out of sorrow.   
            Shepard looked at him and smiled weakly, “Not even close. She never loved me. It was all one sided.” She told him gently, “Saren loved you, he really did.” She sniffled as she patted his hand. “You can find comfort in that, knowing that none of it was a lie, every moment you talked about feeling loved? It was all real and the same for him.” she told him firmly, her voice then going low and dripping with venom, “When I catch him, I will make him pay for everything, especially hurting you”   
            Nihlus looked at her with a soft smile, his heart still ached. “Echo?”   
            “Mm?”   
            “If there is a way to save him… would I be wrong to ask you to do it?”   
            “No” she said firmly, “I will, if there is a way to save him, I will. He will probably still be charged for everything, but insanity plea would make that punishment a little more tolerable. However I will save him, because you love him, and you’re my only friend.” She explained, all things Nihlus knew.   
             “Not your only, you have the baby bird now. We’ve just bled and fought together, that’s why you feel like that. Soon though, you’ll be just as close, if not closer, to him. I’ll get replaced” he barely got out, Shepard however shook her head furiously. She couldn’t speak right then, but he understood, no one would replace him. He was the first, the first one to ever honestly extend friendship without reason. Just because he didn’t want her to be alone.   
            “Am I wrong to still love him?”   
            Shepard gently ran her hand over his forehead, not caring what it could mean, only that he knew he was never going to be left alone without comfort. “No. Turians mate for life right? He was your mate”   
            Nihlus sobbed as he nodded, his face showing all kinds of pan as his keening got louder for a second. “Do you still love her?”   
            “No, I wouldn’t call it love” she sighed gently, “I still care for her, but she wronged me terribly, she broke me. Not even I am capable of loving someone who broke me.” She explained. “I’m healing though, and I have come a long way in only two days, thanks to you” she smiled.


	17. All Turians are Assholes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little something more lighthearted and comical to tie the previous chapters up.   
> Not all Turians are assholes Shepard, just the two in your life right now.

Nihlus calmed down considerably and moved so he could rest his temple against her arm. She stroked the side of his face, “Are you hungry?” she asked softly.   
            “Yeah…”   
            “I’ll call Vakarian, see where he is”   
            “He’s been outside the door the whole time, came back while we were watching the holovid” muttered Nihlus.

            Garrus cursed under his breath, damned specter and his overly keen senses. He stepped into view though and gave an awkward smile. “I didn’t want to interrupt”   
            “Its okay, you were probably gonna see us be all sensitive anyways. You refuse to leave me alone” laughed Shepard as she wiped her eyes.   
            “You don’t take care of yourself. Should I tell your friend what you vitals were at today? Have him scold you?” he asked as he walked in and set the food down on the foot of the bed.   
            “Echo? You’re sick?” asked Nihlus sounding worried, he didn’t move from her affectionate comforts though.   
            “No, just stressed, and I kind of have been over working myself.” She admitted while glowering at Garrus, who smirked at her as he unpacked the food.   
            “More than stressed, off the charts, falling asleep on the elevator stressed” ratted Garrus as he placed a box of dextro take out in front of Nihlus and then shoved three boxes of levo food into Shepard’s hands.   
            “Echo!” scowled Nihlus as he pulled himself into sitting position, whimpering from the pain as he did so, but managing. “If you’re going to be a Specter you need to take better care of yourself! You’re not always going to have a Turian nanny to chase after you”   
            Garrus let out a deep laugh as he pulled over a chair from the corner and sat next to Shepard. He wanted to wedge himself between her and the nightstand, as the right side was “his spot” however he let it go and sat very close to her on her left. Due to the circumstances, he could give it up for her to be able to care for her friend.   
            Shepard made a face that Garrus related to that of an upset Asari child. He smirked at her before he watched her take a bite of her sandwich; he chuckled as he reached over and picked off a piece of some sort of vegetable.   
            “Thank the Spirits for Vakarian, I might lose my only real friend if not for him looking out for you” said Nihlus as he took a bite of some strange purple bread. “Whatever can I do to repay you?”   
            Garrus had a few things in mind, all of them selfish. Like leaving him alone to be completely doted on by her if he was ever ill or injured. However he kept his mouth shut and just shook his head.   
            “You’re both Assholes” sighed Shepard as she took a rough, unladylike, bite of her sandwich and glared at them. The male Turians looked at her and then each other before they began to laugh.   
            “Well Shepard, you have me pegged. Pretty sure you pegged Vakarian” Nihlus took a delicate bite of the bread. “When are you going to let Vakarian peg you?” he then asked through a mouthful.   
            Shepard stared at him wide eyed and opened mouth, her half chewed food falling from it and back into the box. Garrus was frozen before he looked at Shepard and watched her food fall back into the box. “Damn it Shepard, this needs to go into your stomach” he huffed at her, subvocals chittering with mild scorn.   
            Nihlus raised his eyebrow plates at Garrus, before he smirked and let out a light laugh. “I told you Echo”   
            “Shut up Nihlus” hissed Shepard as she swatted Garrus’ hands away. “Stop laughing at me before I give you another reason to be in here”   
            Nihlus gasped, “Echo! Talking to an invalid like that! And you’re dear friend too! Shameful” he said dramatically as he just ate his meal. He started humming happily, even if he only truly halfway felt it, “I’m going to be an uncle someday”   
            “God Damn it! ALL TURIANS ARE ASSHOLES!” wailed Shepard as she let her head fall forward onto the bed. Garrus was looking between the two with a surprised and questioning look. He chirruped questioningly at Nihlus who chittered and waved his hand at him to ignore it. Nihlus however was laughing softly, and this time he felt it fully. Nothing was more fun than tormenting Echo.


	18. Where to then Shepard?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> awkward dweebs are awkward and really fighting to not want each other.

            Garrus had drifted off in his seat, his head resting in the yoke of his armor and his arms crossed his legs up on the end of the bed. Shepard was the only one still awake; then again she was used to not sleeping.   
            Nihlus had gone back to sleep, and probably would be for a long time with the medication he’d been given. The nurse had scolded them for feeding him outside food, but in the end was just happy to see that Nihlus was with good people and resting. The Asari had grown a little attached to him, she always had a weak spot for those who cried, and thus needed to mother him.   
            Shepard was still holding Nihlus’ hand, his grip on her a little tighter than she found comfortable, but he was probably just needy. She could understand that, she wished she’d had someone to do a quarter as much for her. Gently she started humming, the humming turned into soft singing, just light tunes, little comforting things to the sleeping turian, who was now purring softly from the feelings his body was sensing: comfort and warmth. He needed it right now.   
            Smiling, she continued as she stood and tucked him in. She was thankful that Garrus was asleep to not see her act like this. She felt that she’d never live it down, the constant teasing he would probably give her.

            She was mistaken however, Garrus had been asleep but when she started humming he’d woken up. He was just watching her now, still silent as if he were asleep. It was a sweet sight, something he didn’t think he would ever live to see. A Human caring for a Turian so gently, part of him was jealous that it wasn’t him she was caring for. Then again, the bigger part of him was caught up just watching the scene, and seeing that The Commander could be gentle and maternal. She had a nice voice too, Garrus made a mental note of this while he just observed. It was soft, soothing, and surprisingly loving. He’d heard it be sad soft, be tired, be rough, be dangerous, be irritated… however he counted his blessings that he was able to hear it be so… he couldn’t find more words to describe it, but he liked it. He liked her voice any way in all honesty, it sounded good to him, clear, crisp, like cool water.   
            As she sat down again, Garrus went to pretending he was still asleep. “Vakarian” she whispered.   
            “Mmm?” he grunted at her.   
            “Vakarian?”   
            “What Shepard” he asked, feigning being grumpy and sleepy.   
            Shepard stood and tugged on his arm, “Let’s go, he’s asleep, and he needs to rest”   
            Garrus groaned again before he stood and then stretched. The stretch was an honest need. Yawning, his mouth opened widely before he just nodded and rubbed his face. He really didn’t have to pretend to be tired, what he wouldn’t give for a scalding hot cup of kava. Shepard lead the way from the room, and then tracked down a nurse. She left her information and asked to be informed immediately if he woke up again. They agreed, seeing as he’d already approved her to be able to check on him.   
            “Ugh, it’s one in the morning” whined Shepard as she looked at her omni-tool and groaned. “I don’t wanna go back to the ship yet… no more sleeper pods” she complained.   
            Garrus said nothing but found a garden bench in the pavilion, he flopped down onto it and held his head. It had been one long ass day.   
            Shepard sat next to him and groaned, “I feel like I got ran over by a truck”   
            “You look like you got ran over by a truck” grumbled Garrus.   
            “Yeah and you look like a princess”   
            Garrus just laughed and took a deep breath. “Wanna stay at my place? It’s not far”   
            Shepard opened her eyes and lifted her head, “Are you asking for a sleep over Garrus?”   
            “No, you don’t want to go back to the ship to sleeper pods. You’re too cheap for a hotel.” He was about to continue when she interrupted.   
            “I could always catch one of the crappy inns in the wards” she offered with a shrug. That had been her original plan anyways.   
            “Over my dead body” growled Garrus. He didn’t want her sleeping there, all the things that could happen to her while she slept. Sure, she was Commander Shepard, biggest badass human to ever walk… she was still a human female however. She was injured, exhausted… anyone could take advantage of her and that didn’t sit with him well on double the levels it normally wouldn’t have.   
            “You’re not expecting any sort of turian steam blowing are you?” she asked. Curiously.   
            Garrus stopped mid breath and started coughing, holding his chest he looked at her shocked. “What kind of guy do you think I am Shepard!?”   
            She shrugged, “I don’t know, wouldn’t be the first time I had to lay down and take it when offered help” she admitted and then rubbed the back of her neck flushing.   
            Garrus looked at her, the growling in his chest getting louder. “Shepard… look at me” She turned and faced him, a nervous look in her eye. “I would never do that, to anyone. I especially wouldn’t do that to you. I also don’t have a human fetish.” He was as serious as a heart attack.   
            Shepard gave him a smile; it was tired, but genuine. “Thank you”   
            “No need to thank me.” He told her as he relaxed again.   
            Shepard chuckled under her breath as she leaned back again, “Then again, I wouldn’t mind “blowing off steam” with you. You’d be my first guy in like seven years… but you’re nice enough.”   
            Garrus started choking again and Shepard just laughed, harder than he’d seen her. “That is so not right to do a guy” he wheezed out at her.   
            “Oh be quiet, it’s funny” she smiled, “But I never said it was a joke did I?”   
            He just glowered at her with an unamused look, “Shepard, Not. Funny.”   
            “You don’t have a human fetish remember?” she asked. Shepard hadn’t let it show, but that had cut through her like a knife. He wouldn’t ever be interested in her; she was a human after all. So all his kindness and everything that Nihlus had said was just him being kind to her, probably polite because she was now his boss too.   
            Garrus immediately regretted saying that, he hadn’t meant it in that sense. He’d meant it in that he would never just… force himself on her. Not that he would do that to anyone, but he got the feeling that she had a past history of being abused. The signs were subtle at best, but they were there, just hidden under so many layers of the scars of her job. “Shepard…” he started, “I didn’t mean it like th-”  
            “No need to explain yourself Vakarian. Look, you’re not into humans, that’s fine.” She gave him a reassuring look. “I’m not much of a looker to my own species either, so don’t worry. Besides, it was really just a joke” she lied.   
            He knew that was all just her covering herself, however he couldn’t bring himself to call her out on it or push further. What if it was just her way of backing out of something happening? He didn’t know, and they had a job to do. Best not to make anything complicated. “I’ll go sleep in the wards”   
            Garrus looked at her angrily, “No”   
            “You don’t order me around Vakarian, other way around” she bit at him.   
            He stood, “You’re not staying down there, its not safe.”   
            “I can make you leave it alone Vakarian” She stood as well  
            “Then do it, Order me to not care about you-er wellbeing.” He stepped close to her and leaned down, blue eyes daring her. Fuck, he almost screwed that one up.  
            _Fuck… not Sky Eyes…_ She thought as he got close to her. There was that noise getting loud again. Loud enough that she hissed and rubbed her temple. She glared at him with her jaw set and her teeth grinding.   
            “Well?” he demanded.   
            Shepard growled and looked away from him, she was angry; she wanted to punch him… especially for looking at her with those eyes.   
            Garrus took another route, “Please, Shepard…” he whispered. His firm look shifting into a soft one as he spoke. “It really isn’t safe down there, and it’s not that I doubt you. You’re tired, injured, and over worked. I’ll take you anywhere, just please don’t stay there.” His voice was gentle and pleading to her ears, and god was she weak to it.   
            Looking at him, she felt guilty for making him worry. He was so earnestly looking at her with concern. She was confused then, why did he care so much? And why did she care of she cared? Yeah, she liked him, but he didn’t like humans… right?  
            Garrus looked down and nervously fluttered his mandibles. She didn’t like him like he wanted her to… and that hurt. However that didn’t stop him from caring about her wellbeing, neither would a direct order not to… however out of respect for her, he would obey it.   
            “Okay” breathed Shepard out as she looked at him, studying his face. Turians were a frightful bunch, she could see why that was the popular opinion. However how could she ever be scared of one, especially him, he was so emotive. Yeah, the differences were subtle, not as dramatic on human faces. She could see them though, the small movements, and Garrus had the most expressive eyes she’d ever seen. That bright blue color rising up as he met her look, she felt her heart give a strong few beats and she swallowed thickly, why the hell was he so irresistible?  
            He met her eyes, studied her face, what did she mean she wasn’t a looker? Even while this exhausted he found her to be easy on the eyes. Her hair wilder than it had been before and a little dirty. She smelled of blood and sweat, her clothing was worse for wear and she really probably should shower and sleep for a while. He breathed in and out through his nose as she finally agreed, thankful to the spirits that he wasn’t going to have to not care. “Where to then Shepard?”  
            Her head moved down to look at her feet, and then her hands, she hadn’t even noticed she’d been wringing them. Garrus watched, and tried not to think about how attractive he found it when she bit her lower lip. Since when did spending a day with a woman make him want them? Then again, he’d never met a woman like Shepard, forget the fact she was a different species, were she an Elcor he would probably still be attracted, okay maybe not with an Elcor or Hanar; but any other race he would be.  
            Shepard chewed at her lips before she sighed and looked up at him, “Your place”   
            Garrus punched down the purring his chest wanted to start, he was struggling with his emotions, “Okay”


	19. Garbus and Kaffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...ugh... Shepard you are a mess.

            Shepard groaned as she threw her arm over her face. “No, Pressley, let me sleep” she whined before she realized that she was moving her entire body. She wasn’t in a sleeper pod. She didn’t open her eyes, instead she just let her other senses pick up what was around her. The sheets and blankets on her were soft cotton, she couldn’t hear anything but some very quiet talking from what she guessed was outside of where she was. Inhaling, she remembered last night.

  
            Garrus had brought her back to his place. It had been a complete mess, which he’d forgotten about. She’d laughed and said that was bachelor life. He laughed too; he then gave her one of his shirts to sleep in while he threw her clothing in the laundry. She thankfully had taken it, craving a hot shower, a real shower. His bathroom was immaculate. Despite the fact that his living room was a disaster, it was very clean in there. She’d showered, finding that his soap smelled nice, like clean metal. Reading the box for the bar she gleaned from it that he had some sensitive skin. She’d thought that was cute, leaving the shower she noticed the thick fluffy towel on the sink with an added pair of what she assumed were his boxer briefs.   
            Shepard wasn’t much of a snoop, but she found herself opening his cabinets anyways. He had normal things, like cleaning products, extra toiletries. To her surprise she found five toothbrushes, still in the package, in a drawer. Helping herself she took one and began looking for toothpaste. She found some, it was dextro, but she shrugged. If she died of anaphylactic shock, at least she would be clean and comfortable… for the most past. No reaction, and she found she liked the strong bitter taste that left her mouth feeling incredibly clean.   
            He was a mess in the living room, his crap everywhere. However his bathroom was organized. She laughed at that and looked at the products behind the mirror. She found a put of blue paint paste and figured he touched up his colony markings with it. Something for the fringe, she saw that from the picture, didn’t bother reading it. His toothbrush looked more like a grill brush in her opinion. She grabbed a bottle of some sort of gel and smelled it, turning it around in her hands she looked at the label. _For intense discomfort to affected plates_ she made a face and nodded her head, “not bad”.   
            She then dressed and threw the towel she had wrapped around herself on her head, letting it soak up the water from her thick hair. Garrus had cleaned up, and was standing in front of what she had assumed was a closet, which she now realized was where he kept his washer and dryer.   
            He’d asked her if she’d had fun snooping around, she’d frozen before he’d laughed and told her it was fine, that if he’d had anything he was embarrassed about he would have gone and cleaned that up before he let her shower.   
            Shepard remembered taking in the sight of her companion outside of armor. Wearing just a pair of what looked like to his under armor. The top part hanging around his thin waist leaving him shirtless, she’d been far too pleased by that sight for her own good. He’d noticed he still wore gloves however and he explained that it was just considered polite to wear them when around other species. She hadn’t questioned further, flattered that he was keeping that up while in his own home.   
            He’d handed her a bottle of water and urged her to get comfortable. Shepard figured she was pretty damned comfortable, the form fitting tank she wore and the just barely a little big for her hips turian clothing she wore was surprisingly comfortable. He then showered and came out, asked her if she had used his toothpaste since he was out of levo. She said yes and then asked why he had levo. He explained sometimes coworkers crashed over after working late, so he had a couple comforts for them.   
            She’d sat curled on his couch and in front of the television; he’d turned it on to some sort of show. By the way he was laughing sometimes and chuckling she assumed it was a turian comedy show. She found most of it funny; some of it went right over her head however. After his shower he’d came over and flopped on the sofa, his feet on the coffee table as he started what she assumed was his nightly routine.   
            During a commercial he offered her a soda, remembering that she didn’t really drink. He himself had a beer. She got curious and asked for a taste, he let her since she was obviously okay with dextro proteins, having used his toothpaste and all. She found it to be foul, and told him she would prefer vitacola over it. He’d laughed so hard he nearly spilled his beer; she joined in and eventually took the towel off her head. He took it from her and went to throw it with the rest of his laundry. After two other shows, and at three in the morning, she had gone to sleep. He’d argued with her shortly for where she would sleep. He won that argument too and she found herself in his bed.

           

            Shepard smiled to herself as she stretched out. She was glad he’d won the argument; his bed was like sleeping in a cloud. Probably soft to mold to the extreme shape of his body, he’d taken a few weirdly shaped pillow from his bed and left her two of them, then brought her three normal ones he had for guests. Giving them clean covers in front of her, she was surprised at how organized he was with most of his domestic stuff.   
            Grinning she rolled up into the blankets and snuggled in, breathing deeply. It smelled like him. Cool metal, something earthy, something that she couldn’t describe; she decided she liked this smell and drifted back to sleep.

            Garrus looked up from his cup of Kava as he heard Shepard make noises in his bedroom. He smiled to himself as he continued reading the news on a datapad. It was two in the afternoon, and he’d already went in and resigned from C-Sec.   
             Chellick had given him his pay for the next two months, he was waiting on a call from his sister, to see if she could come watching his apartment while he was gone. She’d been complaining about wanting to get away for a while now. He remembered the days of living at home, and didn’t miss them. Then again Solana got along with both their parents, Garrus only got along with his mother.   
            He’d picked up a levo breakfast for Shepard. Tali and Wrex had found him in the markets and gotten on his case. Apparently they had waited for him and Shepard. He explained about Nihlus, they understood. Wrex asked about Shepard, he told him she was sleeping back at his apartment; Tali had made some sort of noise. He didn’t pay much mind to it, when he caught Wrex smelling him he sighed and told them that they could call him, to let Shepard sleep. Wrex and he exchanged information; Tali had eagerly taken his, which he didn’t get why she was excited. Maybe she just liked making contacts? He had no clue, but he took hers as well. The squeal she made as his contact was created in her omni-tool had him raising a brow plate at her but shrugged it off. She was young after all.   
            After saying goodbye, he went to find Shepard a new shirt, the one she’d been wearing was destroyed in the wash, he wasn’t surprised, it was old as hell. While looking around he ran into Shepard’s fellow soldiers, Alenko and Williams. Kaidan Alenko, the male, has started out friendly, however he and Ashley Williams had become cold, and mildly hostile when he told them Shepard was asleep at his place.   
            He had almost reeled his head back when Jealousy and possession hit him hard from Alenko. Those were some strong hormones, and Garrus instantly felt himself return them, to his shame. Shepard had said she was single, then again it didn’t matter, and they weren’t a couple. However no one should be claiming her unless she wanted them to. He scolded himself for that, since he had felt the same thing as an auto response. Williams smelled of suspicion and distrust, he couldn’t blame her for that one, tension was usually still high between humans and turians.   
            The situation had been hard, but he kept his cool and said goodbye to them politely. He then sighed and moved to another store to find Shepard a new top. He doubted she wanted to wear his around.   
            In the end he couldn’t find one, not one he thought she’d like anyways. She seemed to like the soft cotton materials, he could find those for turians, but for humans he only found elaborate stuff. He could probably find something down in the wards market… but he didn’t exactly want to go down there.

            Shepard woke up about an hour later; walking out of his bedroom looking _well_ rested, crabby, and a complete mess. Garrus couldn’t hold in the laughter from the sight. Her hair was sticking up everywhere; her eyes had large bags under them. Her shoulders were slumped over as she shuffled into the kitchen moaning like a zombie, “Kaffee”   
            “I got some” he laughed as she walked into the counter and grunted. He moved to start a pot of it. Turning to ask her how she liked it he gasped as she was taking a drink of his Kava. Rushing he took it back from her and waited, scared shitless that she was going to go into shock. Sure, a sip of his beer last night and his toothpaste was a little, but his huge cup was nearly empty now.   
            Shepard whined at him and reached for the cup, he held it over his head as he grabbed her face. She moaned and pulled her head away, still reaching for the cup. He however grabbed her face again and forced her mouth open. Nothing, she was fine.   
            “Garbus…” she whined as she reached for the cup and he just handed it to her slowly, in shock.   
            “Shepard, you are a fucking mess” he laughed in shock as he drank the last of his Kava and then held out the cup for more. Looking displeased it was empty.   
            “More… Das an Orduuuuur” she slurred, as she stood there and waited with both hands outstretched and shaking the empty mug at him, a scowl on her face. Garrus simply continued to stare at her as he poured her more kava, shaking his head he chuckled and rose his brow plates up. She was something else all right.   
            “Yes Commander” he smirked.   
            “You call me Sheeeeepuuuuuurd” she slurred as she then turned and shuffled to the couch slowly.   
            “Okay Sheepurd” he snorted, highly entertained by the sight. Getting himself a new cup he poured himself some more kava and followed her. Sitting down on the couch he turned on the T.V. as she sat cross legged next to him and swayed a little.   
            “Garbus?” she asked sleepily.   
            “Yes Sheepurd?” he asked her, chuckling again.   
            “Dees kaffee gud” she nodded as she drank more from the cup.   
            “Well, it’s not ‘Coffee’ Sheepurd. It’s Kava”   
            “Turni’n Kaffee?”   
            “More or less”   
            “Is gud”   
            “I like to think so” he laughed while watching her. Nihlus was right; she did need to be looked after. However, he didn’t mind in the least bit, he found himself feeling happier than he had in a long time.


	20. Coward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're so dumb... ugh...

            Slowly “Garbus” turned back into “Vakarian” and Garrus found himself missing it a little. Shepard was cute when she was groggy as fuck, barely functioning, slurring her words. However he still found himself enjoying her company, he didn’t think he could ever get tired of being around her at this point. He’d glued them at the hip after the clinic yesterday, and well, he was still happy to be close to her.   
            “Vakarian… You are a life saver” said Shepard as she started to eat the breakfast he had gotten her a while ago. It was still cold, and he offered to go get her something else, but she took this anyways. Making his neck flush by saying she wanted to eat it anyways, because he had gotten it for her.   
            He chuckled as he popped a techai fruit into his mouth and enjoyed it. “Well, I could be worse things”   
            “No seriously” she said while moaning happily and licking syrup off her thumb. “Real Food? Real Bed? Real Shower? You’re spoiling me.” She laughed.   
            Garrus hummed in his throat as he watched the television, “Someone should, you’re worth it” he said as he relaxed, before freezing.   
            Shepard looked at him with her thumb in her mouth, large brown eyes wide. They stayed like that for a while before Shepard turned and went to her food. Finally she spoke after a few contemplative bites. “Why do you say that?”   
            Garrus swallowed thickly, he had a chance here to say that he really liked her in a “blow off steam” way. Or he could chicken out and tell her she was a damned good soldier and he knew life on starships was hard, some comforts were overdue for her. It took him longer than he would like, but in the end, he shamefully chickened out. “Military life can be kind of hard, you could use some comforts. You’ve more than earned it.”   
            Shepard didn’t look disappointed, that wasn’t a crushed look on her face, and there wasn’t a thickening of her voice to cover sadness. He told himself all this over and over again as he watched her finish her breakfast in silence. He was an idiot… a giant, stupid, idiot.   
            Shepard cleaned up her mess, went to change, came back out with his boxers and handed them to her. He explained about her shirt and she just nodded. He told her to keep the one she had on, she just nodded again.   
            While she pulled on her boots he stood and got ready to go with her. “It’s okay Vakarian, I got this. Besides, I slept for twelve hours, you fed me real food, I feel fine” she told him as she stood at the door now.   
            Garrus looked at her, feeling angry at himself for chickening out. Her voice was even toned, maybe a little tight; if he couldn’t see her body language he wouldn’t have believed that she was upset. “Shepar-” He reached for her elbow.   
            She jerked away from him and held the back of her neck with both hands, unable to look at him. “It’s okay Vakarian, you’ve taken very good care of me. You should take this time to finish up what you need to before meeting at the Normandy for debrief, which I’m sure will happen tonight.” She told him.   
            He felt his chest empty of the warmth it’d had held. “Dumbass” he whispered to himself as he watched the elevator close while he leaned on the door frame. He couldn’t ignore it; those were tears rolling down her cheeks. He should have taken the chance; he should have risked making himself look like a fool. Shepard was worth the risks.

 

            Once the doors closed she sank to the floor of the elevator and sobbed, “Stupid, Idiot woman. Thinking that maybe someone could like you after a day; no one likes anyone like that, even Alenko didn’t have a crush until after the bitch broke you” she snarled at herself. She was tempted to go back on her word to let him come along, however… she’d promised him. With just a hint of regret she stood by her word to Garrus Vakarian.   
            When the doors opened she wiped her face and started walking briskly towards the embassies. Her fast walk turned into a jog, and before she knew it she was sprinting. Running made her head clear, using her body made her feel calmer. She knew it was cowardly, but she never ran away from any problem or fight. All except her own emotional problems.

            Shepard was panting as she made it to the embassies. Leaning on her knees she stopped just outside of it and caught her breath. At least now she wouldn’t look entirely like she was crying as she ran, more like she was just winded. She did still have a bullet wound in her stomach.   
            “Commander?” asked a familiar voice. Shepard groaned as she stood straight and looked behind her. Kaidan was there, a little shocked to see her. He walked over giving her a warm smile. Shepard looked at it, it was nice… but it didn’t bring any sort of spark or warmth to her.   
            “Hello Alenko” she said softly, still catching her breath.   
            He smiled again, his voice gentle and sweet, as he always was. “You can call me Kaidan Commander” he nervously smiled then. Okay, she could see why all the girls on the ship thought he was cute. He had a nice face; his general disposition was kind and sweet. Was she stupid for just not being attracted? She had no clue… probably was. She was stupid with everything else.   
            “Okay” was all Shepard said, feeling awkward now? It wasn’t as easy to banter with him as it was with Vakarian. Talking with him, it was as fluid as water; they just seemed to get each other. She felt her heart clench as she thought about him, but she knew she liked him, and he didn’t like her the same way. The only way she was able to save everything was to get some distance, get over the stupid crush.   
            “May I call you Shepard?” he asked then, waiting for her to say more, when she didn’t he just filled it in.   
            “Oh, Sure” said Shepard as she held herself.   
            Kaidan smiled at her, “That’s a nice shirt on you. Pick it up at the gift shop?” he asked.   
            Shepard looked confused before she looked down at Vakarian’s shirt. There was a little C-Sec emblem on breast. It did hug her torso nicely she thought, and then it was a durable stretchy material made for Turians, which was very useful; especially for her. She admired the dark blue color and smiled weakly. Vakarian liked dark blue, it was all over his home, of course it hadn’t been over whelming, but it was obvious he liked the color.   
            She’d forgotten what her figure looked like. Since when were her breasts that big? She shrugged then and looked at Kaidan, who quickly met her gaze and flushed a little. She raised a brow at him and snorted, he just smiled weakly. “It compliments you”   
            _So does he…_ Thought Shepard as she felt herself feel hollow again, like she had before she’d met him, his presence had grown on her in just a couple of hours and now she found herself lonely without him on her right. Nihlus’ company made her feel more stable, like she wasn’t alone, but it didn’t give her the warm feeling Garru- Vakarian’s did. “Thank you”   
            Kaidan smiled at her again, and she cursed herself for not feeling the warmth he was trying so hard to give to her. “I was going to go look for you actually. Garrus told me this morning you were staying at his place last night.” He said calmly, but Shepard caught that slightly rough edge, jealousy.   
            “Yeah, he knew I hadn’t slept in a few days. I guess his visor reads health layouts too. So he let me crash on his bed and he took the couch.” She explained, doing her best to be casual, and to not give him any idea that she felt she needed to explain herself.   
            Kaidan visibly relaxed, “That was really kind of him!” he smiled then. Why did he have to be a good guy? Shepard wouldn’t feel so bad if he wasn’t a good guy about not having attraction to him. “So where are you off to?”   
            “Oh, to see Anderson, I just wanted to know when the council meeting was.” She explained while she played with her dog tags. “So that I won’t be late”   
            Kaidan looked excited, “May I join you then, I didn’t get to go see Citadel tower yesterday. Maybe you’d let me treat you to dinner after the meeting?” he asked.   
            She should have said no, she should have been firm and denied him… however she felt weak and sad. “Sure, it’s kinda nice having company” she said softly. She’d been thinking about Vakarian being on her right, probably just looking Kaidan up and down. She found that he seemed fast to take in and judge people.   
            Kaidan smiled and walked with her. She reluctantly followed as he led the way to Anderson’s office.

            “Yooo” said Garrus as he knocked on the door of Nihlus’ room at the hospital. In his hand he had a bag of fruit for the patient.   
            “Vakarian!” said Nihlus surprised. “What are you doing here?”   
            Garrus lied, “I just thought I would come and see you, check up on a new acquaintance”   
            “Mmhmm, looking for Shepard?”   
            “Fuck, how do you know?”   
            “I’m a Specter, plus your subvocals are all depressed. What’d you do?”   
            Garrus groaned and walked in, sitting in the chair next to Nihlus’ bed. “It’s what I didn’t do.”   
            Nihlus looked at him for a moment before he sighed and chuckled. “Couldn’t make the move?”   
            “No, she doesn’t really like me like that anyways. I mean, that Alenko guy made it kind of clear that she was his” said Garrus with a huff.   
            “Alenko? That man is as dumb as a pyjack fart. Don’t get me wrong, nice guy, probably make some girl absolutely happy one day. Shepard’s not ever gonna be that girl though” he explained.   
            “Could’ve fooled me”   
            “It did, otherwise you wouldn’t be moping around like a teenager and you’d be off taking chances. I read up on you, you’re a reckless son of a bitch.” Nihlus laughed, “All shoot ‘em up, bang bang, regular renegade Rodrigo”   
            “A what?”   
            “Human thing” sighed Nihlus as he waved his hand. “Why don’t you think she likes you?”   
            “We just met?”   
            “So? I knew I liked Saren when I first met him. Hell, by the third time I saw him I was imagining dates. The first time we fucked I was planning a bonding ceremony.” Sighed Nihlus as he looked at the chain on his wrist and stroked it. “Sometimes, you just get the feeling and know.”   
            Garrus looked at him, “How?”   
            The older Turian looked at him, before he gazed out the window. His voice was light as he spoke of feeling he remembered. “It’s comfortable. Warm, you find the things they do make you happy.” He looked sad then, “I knew Saren was not a good guy, but when we started seeing each other, the way he almost instantly started trying so hard to not be cruel. That made me happy, that he was trying for me.”   
            “I’m not seeing Shepard”   
            “At this rate you never will. She’s skittish when it comes to emotional things, she was hurt bad, and even before that her life was rough. She’s not going to be easy.” Nihlus then growled at him, getting protective. “And if you want easy you better shove off and forget Shepard, I won’t let anyone hurt her, and if someone does… well… I have legal authority to kill across the Galaxy”   
            Garrus smirked at Nihlus, “Yeah, because I would think I was an idiot if I wanted easy; because I wouldn’t be a guy who hasn’t been with anyone in three years if I wanted easy.”   
            “Three years? Ouch.” Winced Nihlus, “Strong left hand?”   
            Garrus gaped at him, “You don’t need that kind of information!” he hissed. “Shepard’s right, you’re an asshole”   
            Nihlus grinned at him, “Kind of, more like I’m shameless” he then laughed and relaxed. “I don’t think I ever went that long. Then again, Saren was the only long relationship I have ever had. Specter work is tough.”   
            “How long?”   
            “Four years, our anniversary would be in three months” he said gently, looking at the chain on his wrist. “It’d be five years then”   
            Garrus reached and took his hand like he’d seen Shepard do, “I’m sorry”   
            Nihlus looked at Garrus surprised by the action, before he gave the other man a calming purr. “Thank you, but you didn’t do anything.”   
            “Shepard cares for you, so I care about you. I’ll work hard for her… try to bring Saren back… as much as I’d rather just put a bullet in his brain” snarled Garrus.   
            Nihlus started laughing but squeezed Garrus’ hand, “You’re so similar to Shepard, she’s a sweetheart to try and do that for that for me.” Nihlus however let the smiled fall, “I know though, that he can’t be saved… It’s foolish hope.”   
            Garrus looked into his lap and sighed, “I have no idea what to say”   
            “You don’t have to say anything, just don’t let her get hurt. Please keep her safe for me” Nihlus nearly begged. “She’s my only friend.”   
            “Only? You seem like you’d have a bunch” smirked Garrus.  
            “Nah, I’m friendly, but it’s hard to bring people close. Shepard and I are the same on that front. She’s more introverted though, and so unsure of herself. People will flock to her though, as soon as they can see how much of a treasure she is. She won’t want for friends and people she can trust” Nihlus’ words of praise made Garrus smile.   
            “I can see that.” Garrus leaned back and just sat in the silence for a while. Long moments passing before Nihlus looked at him. Garrus scoffed, “I know, I’m a coward”


	21. Memories and Reactions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little more hints to Shepard's... more biological oddities.   
> Yay! Bird bae be back.   
> Shepard's pre-enlistment life.

            This wasn’t right, it wasn’t something she wanted. She didn’t want to be here right now, she’d rather be in her hidey hole on the Normandy and reading the e-book she’d just acquired. Elizabeth Bennett was someone she found entertaining to read of, this Jane Austen woman must’ve been super popular centuries ago.   
            She didn’t want Kaidan to be standing there so close to her, she didn’t want him telling Anderson he would watch her, even if it was jokingly. She wanted to either be alone, or with her turians. Nihlus was her friend, and he needed her, he had a broken heart and was injured, she wanted to go be with him.   
            She wanted to be with Garrus, watching tv together and just enjoying each other’s company. She had liked earlier this morning, when she sat close to him and he had his arm on the back of his couch. They had watched some action turian flick that she found she loved. He was laughing and explaining to her who and what everything was, he looked happy to be with her. She knew she had been happy to be there with him. Honestly happy, not placated or merely satisfied.   
            He didn’t want her like she wanted him though. He’d made that very clear this morning, when he’d said she was a good soldier who had earned a bit of rest. It wasn’t because he liked being with her, he felt she deserved it… which somehow felt worse than if he would have disliked her.   
            Now she was here, with Kaidan, because she couldn’t find her biggest set of balls to tell him flatly that she wasn’t interested in him like that. She couldn’t tell him because she felt pressured from the people who talked to her about his interest, and how amazing he was. She agreed, he was a great guy, but he wasn’t her type of person. Hell, Garrus, wasn’t her type of person, being an alien and male and all that… she knew she preferred the fairer sex.   
            She’d preferred them all her life. Yes, men attracted her at times, but ninety percent of the time it was women who caught her eyes. Women were gorgeous works of art, every one of them. They smelled nice, tended to act a little less… loud. Though that didn’t apply to every one of them and that was fine with her. However… it seemed men were the only ones that held any interest in her.   
            Her first real relationship had been Sophie, and that had crashed and burned her all to hell. That woman had literally asked her to die for her. Echo had willingly said she would, thinking it was just something romantic… turned out it was very literal.   
            Now she found herself longing for an Alien man, and that was in and of itself hard for her to grasp. She didn’t know what it was exactly that made her like him. She liked a lot of things. She liked his fringe, he smelled clean, and he was visibly a person with a strong and good heart. He stood like he had a purpose on this world. He was kind, he cared for others, he knew when to stand up against authority, and never did so rudely. The way his eyes sparkled when he was happy, or how they flashed like a storm when he was angry… How his voice sent vibrations up her spine that she had never felt before. How he somehow managed to make something burn inside her that she hadn’t felt in a while, and even made it burn hotter than ever before. How she felt like she could break away from all the past pains and fears and become the person she longed so hard to be when around him. Could she actually do that? She had no clue… but when he stood at her right, she felt as if she could do anything.   
            She didn’t flinch when he grabbed or touched her out of nowhere. She’d even done that with Sophie, and to this day jumped when someone caught her off guard. More than once she’d accidentally elbowed Anderson in the face when he’d walked up behind her. She’d panic and apologize and punish herself, however he knew her past of anyone did… he didn’t blame her. Especially since she always put it aside for everyone else when she was called upon; others always came first.  

            Shepard had grown up an Orphan. She never knew her parents; she was taken in by a large man who worked at the docks in Louisiana, USA at the age of five. He kept her near always; made sure she was safe until she was about fourteen. He was shot then, gangs…  
            Caine, or Papa Sugar, had been his name. He was an older dark skinned man, mid-fifties; all muscle and toughness from growing up in the bayou, regular guy who liked the outdoors. He taught her how to survive, how to fist fight. Said he’d once had a little girl and a wife like her, they’d been taken from him. He took her in to make sure that another life didn’t parish when he could do something about it. That’s where Shepard had learned how to be brave and strong, to have a good kind heart and remember that greed and evil were everywhere, but kindness and selflessness was not.   
            He taught her to read, write, draw, sing… he’d tried dancing, but she didn’t have rhythm. He taught her to hunt, how to fight, how to live off the land. He taught her how to survive, more than just the starving toddler that had gone nearly feral. He taught her that people mostly had goodness in them, but fear corrupted it. It was okay to be scared, but that she would always have to fight the fear head on.   
            Every morning, 3 am, he would rise. She would too. Together they would have coffee and breakfast. She’d ride the back of his very old motorcycle, a helmet too big for her head cocked on her. She’d worn ratty jeans and t-shirts and helped when she could. The dock workers had looked out for her too, many of the men and women looking out for each other, “Southern Hospitality” is what they’d called it.   
            Her five first years of life were difficult, she didn’t remember anything before the age of three, but from then till she met Papa Sugar, she remembered scavenging. He’d found her cornered by a coyote, covered in mud and wearing just a bunch of rags. She didn’t know how to speak or anything, but still he’d taken her in.   
            He named her Echo, because she had learned to speak by copying him. Vesper was given to her as a middle name because she liked going to church on Sunday with him. He said she was special, she wasn’t like him or the other people in her life. Shepard remembered asking him if that meant people would hate her, because she was different.   
            “Papa Sugar? Will they hate me?” asked the small girl with the fluffy brown ponytail and wide eyes.   
            “Some people might Echo, but you just be the sweet brave little girl you are. You’re different but you are not less of a person than them. Like the aliens, they’re different, but they matter too” he said as he stirred a pot of beef broth for them.   
            “Why does Decker hate the aliens?” Small Echo asked as she read from an encyclopedia.   
            “Decker was fighting in the war a couple of years ago, that’s how he lost his eye. A Turian took it”   
            “What did he do with it?”   
            “You know baby girl, I have no idea. Probably polished it and tells stories to children turians like we do to you.” He smiled at her, “They’re just like us, just a little different. Remember that when you’re a big strong woman. Everyone deserves kindness and justice… except the people who take that away from others.”   
            “I’ll be big and strong?”   
            “Yes, big, strong, beautiful, and smart. You’re already smart, sharper than every other child your age. That’s how you learn so easy, because you’re a little different.”   
            “Oh…” she looked at a picture of a turian, “Why did we fight with Turians? Because they look like dinosaurs?”   
            “No, because we were going to do something bad as a species, and they got a little too angry at us about it; neither side was good on that front. Luckily the war ended quickly” he told her as he put soup in front of her and handed her some dark rye bread. “Eat up baby girl.” He told her with his usual deep voice and extra loud laugh.   
            Shepard had stayed with him until she was fourteen, and he was then taken from her. Six months she spent in the city, trying to figure out what to do with herself… before the reds took her. Pickpocket until she became more shapely… then child prostitute. Seventeen she killed a client while he’d been hurting her. On the run until she was far far away up in Washington state… She enlisted then at eighteen. The Military could rip her from her bad past and help her preserve the lessons she’d learned.   
            She’d push herself to her limits, and then past them. She didn’t take shit from no one, and she didn’t let anyone see her cry at night when she would take out her emotions on the training room. Echo Vesper Shepard was born then, and grew into a woman who put the lives of others and honor far above herself.

            “Shepard, may I talk to you for a minute?” asked Anderson as he and Kaidan stopped chatting. Shepard snapped from her memories and looked at him, she nodded.   
            “You alright?” he asked once Kaidan was out of the room.   
            Shepard stood straight, “Yes sir!”   
            “Don’t lie to me”   
            Shepard smirked and looked at the floor. He’d always been able to see through her, that’s how he’d picked her out from hundreds of others. He saw the pain she was living with daily, saw how she somehow put it to the back of her mind and dominated the battlefield, crushed academic studies, and advanced through any training she could. “I will be sir”   
            “Why are you Sir’ing me?” he asked with a chuckle. “Alright, I won’t push, but take care of yourself Shepard.” He told her with a clap to her shoulder. Shepard liked Anderson, he reminded her of Papa Sugar, but without the accent and fancier.   
            Shepard bowed politely before moving to leave, Anderson spoke up though. “Shepard, remember fraternization is strictly prohibited. Never had that problem with you, however I have noticed some talk amongst the ship of something with Alenko. Don’t be pushed into anything” he warned her. Shepard looked at him and stood a little straighter, “Yes sir”   
            “Oh, and the Turian isn’t Alliance military…” Shepard froze mid step and went wide eyed, “Nihlus keeps me up to date, as I do him. Good Luck” he told her with a small laugh. He also found it amusing when his tough as nails warrior protégé broke her usual façade of coolness.   
            “Yes… _sir_ ” she said before bolting from the room. Anderson could be heard laughing as she ran. It made her feel lighter inside, that was until she was face first and encased in something hard and warm.   
            “Shepard? Something going on?” asked Kaidan as she ran into his chest, his arms going around her. Shepard went ridged and wide eyed, she didn’t like this, not one bit, too close to bad memories. His voice may be gentle, he may not actually want to her hurt, but it was all too similar to things from her past. With a hard shove she dislodged him and stood there, panting and shaking. Her knuckles were white; her pupils dilated so much there was just a small lining of brown around it. “Shepard?”   
            Kaidan was weary as he watched what was happening; carefully he walked up and extended a hand. A three fingered hand grabbed his wrist and yanked him back. “Garrus?”   
            “Don’t touch her Alenko” warned the Turian as he looked at Shepard. His visor was reading things off the charts. He’d been heading this way to check on her, but an artificial breeze had blown her scent. Mixed with fear and rage, he followed it to find her standing like that in the hall. He wasn’t completely sure, but it reminded him of when Turians were pushed too far and went primal. Only a hormonal mixture from a loved one brought them out of it, and he was pretty sure Shepard wasn’t a turian.   
            “She okay?” asked Kaidan, his voice was very concerned, “What’s going on? Should I call a doctor?”   
            “No, just… give her a minute.” Said Garrus as he watched, didn’t look like a hormonal mixture was going to work. If it had she would have smelled it and looked at someone, her eyes were still wide, staring at something unseen by them. “Is Anderson there?”   
            “Yeah, I should go get him?” asked Kaidan as he side stepped Shepard and got ready to bolt past her.   
            “Yeah, he’s known her longest” said Garrus as he took a step closer, he froze though as one large eye looked at him. Closely he watched both the readings on his visor and Shepard. He squinted his eyes as he thought he saw her pupil shake.   
            He soon found that it was shaking, as suddenly it went from large and dark to small and barely visible, before it elongated and expanded. Shepard then whimpered and her hands flew to her head, holding it.   
            “Shepard?” he asked.   
            She held out a hand and, “Don’t come close” she croaked out, her voice almost growling. “I got it”   
            “Shepard!” called Anderson as he looked out his office. She cocked her head, her ear towards the sound, “Is it…?”   
            She nodded, “I got it!” she called hoarsely, her legs started shaking and she fell to the ground, curling into a ball. “I got it, I got it, I can handle it” she kept breathing to herself.   
            Garrus stood for half a moment, before he got on the ground next to her and touched her shoulder. Shepard jerked but he held it firm. “Shepard, you know me”   
            “I know, Garrus, I know it’s you…” she coughed before wheezing and relaxing. “Thanks” she panted as she covered her eyes with one hand and tried to get up with the other. Garrus stood and helped her up. She tried to jerk away but he gripped her elbow.   
            “Shepard… Look at me” he told her softly. She shook her head, refusing him. “Please…”   
            “You’re looking at me aren’t you?” She asked, her voice sounding a little more normal.   
            Garrus rose his eyebrow plates at her and chuckled, “Yeah, you’re the only one I’m looking at” he told her then, trying to ignore the heat going up his neck.   
            Shepard stiffened before she sighed and turned her head towards him. Very slowly she uncovered her eyes and showed him. Garrus examined her, not too much different, other than her eyes. What was once chocolate brown was glowing brilliant orange, bioluminescent, since he couldn’t read any tech or modification in her eyes… and found that her entire body was lacking in the usual mods that humans typically had these days. Her pupils were oval shaped, like a female of his species would have, only they were shivering, as if shifting back into… yeah, they were slowly turning back into circular ones like normal humans. “Sorry”   
            “Why?” he asked, both as to her eyes and her apology.   
            “Shepard!” asked Anderson as he walked near and grabbed her shoulders, his hand gripping her chin and turning her face. “That’s the fifth time since you came back on duty…” he whispered to her. She looked ashamed of herself and nodded. Anderson looked at her sympathetically and patted her shoulder. “what triggered it?”   
            Shepard didn’t meet his gaze; however Garrus noticed the glow fading as she continued to stare at the floor. Soon, back to normal her eyes were, the same warm chocolate brown he found he missed too much while he was looking for her. Anderson waited for her to answer, but she wouldn’t tell him, he merely sighed and let go of her. “Meeting with the council is in an hour. Please be there Shepard. Don’t make me order you.”   
            “Yes Si-” he pointed at her and she stopped mid-word, “Yes, Anderson.”   
            “Good to see you Officer Vakarian” said Anderson politely before he nodded at Kaidan who walked up. Kaidan saluted before he went to Shepard. Anderson was rushing back into his office.   
            “Shepard?” asked Kaidan worriedly as he got close to her and reached for her hand. “Hey, you okay? Do you want me to take you to the doctor?”   
            Garrus watched as Shepard froze and kept staring at the floor; her scent was alarm, worry, fear, panic. Garrus tried letting out a low pitched chirp at her. She heard it and looked at him; he gave her a soft look. He was there for her, he wasn’t going to let her unhitch herself from his hip again. He wanted to internally punch himself as he found himself calling himself “Garbus”    
            Shepard stared at him, she felt so unsure, and confused, and freaked out because today had just been an emotional rollercoaster so far and it was only five in the evening. Garrus chuffed at her, seeing if she could hear that. Seeing if she would react to it how he was hoping she would. Her gaze turned soft as she looked at him, she returned the sound, however Kaidan could hear it, and he looked at her and Garrus confused.   
            Garrus however gave her a wide grin, good… they were back on the same page.


	22. Worth It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan's view of things.   
> Garrus mends what he almost broke, and gets rewarded for it.

            Kaidan didn’t like it, not one bit. Shepard had basically just had some sort of migraine or something that left her immobile for a bit. She shouldn’t be going anywhere other than a doctor, especially with an alien she barely knew. Kaidan wasn’t a speciesist, but he found himself having a hard time genuinely liking Officer Vakarian.   
            Shepard trusted him that much was for certain. While she had gone back to being a little jumpy and rough with him, her voice seeming to have died; with Vakarian she was all relaxed and smiling, she was holding a full conversation. Garrus seemed to be right at home with her too, as if they’d known each other forever.   
            He didn’t like how Garrus had wedged himself between Shepard and him. He didn’t like how Garrus kept close. He didn’t like that Shepard would take his hand when he offered it, but when Kaidan had tried that she would reel away from him all those months ago. He _especially_ didn’t like that Garrus and Shepard were secretly to talk to each other with just looks and motions. He didn’t like how they were so comfortable together, while he had been working for months to get her to even talk to him.   
            She still sometimes gave him a look that he couldn’t all together read. Kaidan thought Shepard was great; she was so smart, talented, and the fiercest soldier he had ever met. He liked her soft temperament and quiet nature; it was nice for him to be around. He thought she was beautiful, so what if she wasn’t traditionally so in the sense. But her almost wild features attracted him. Her wild hair, those large eyes, the way she lit up the few times she smiled; he especially liked it when she was fresh out of a shower, her short hair slicked back as she leaned against the mess counter and sipped at some coffee. The first time she had looked up from a data pad and met his eyes he’d felt his heart give a jolt, a mixture of uneasiness and strong attraction.   
            She had a great figure in his mind, she was strongly built, solid muscle, her figure was womanly, but not overly so. He found it refreshing that she didn’t bother with make up or anything so frivolous like the other women on board. She was fine to be natural, and that appealed to him.   
            Now though, she was next to Garrus. He had her all bright smiles, those pretty eyes big and bright, her voice came out more often. He somehow got her to talk, and Kaidan didn’t understand it. What did Garrus have that he didn’t? He was even human; they could actually have a family together if they ever got together and lasted that long. He liked the idea of them just, spending time together.   
            Maybe it was just the fact that he wasn’t approaching her right? He’d tried being smooth and just hinting at the attraction he had, that had worked about as much as a Krogan could be a meek and eloquent diplomat. He tried small gifts; she’d either reject them or just ignore them. He was starting to think maybe he just didn’t have a shot with her at all.   
            What exactly was it that Garrus did for her that he couldn’t?

            “This one” smiled Shepard as she picked up a small set of stud earrings. Tiny silver and gemstone stars, she looked at them for a while before sighing sadly and putting them back.   
            “You know, Shepard I don’t mind buying you earrings” sighed Garrus as he leaned against the pillar next to her.   
            “No! It’s not right. Besides, I wouldn’t be allowed to wear them anyways. Frivolous things and all, not part of regulations” She said with a small shrug. “What about you? Do you like anything?” she asked.   
            Kaidan looked at the small set of star earrings she had put back, that’s when he got an idea. Shepard liked things she could actually use. What if he could get those turned into her com unit? He knew she hated wearing her helmet, it might be more comfortable for her, and they would be small and undetectable, and no would be suspicious.   
            Once Garrus and Shepard had moved on he waited for them to get involved talking again, before he picked up the small set and purchased it.   
            “Um, Excuse me? Garrus?” asked Kaidan politely, giving him a smile.   
            Garrus looked up, “Yes?”   
            “Do you know anywhere they make mods here?”   
            “Yeah, there’s a place this way. Right next to my favorite mod store; they do repairs for them” he said with a less suspicious voice. “Mind if we go there Shepard? Lots of cool stuff to look at too” he offered.   
            Shepard looked at him and grinned, “Yeah! I need a new set of tools anyways.” She shrugged, “Great idea Kaidan!” she added, happy he had said something about mods, she’d forgotten that her miniature tool set for the smaller tech was falling apart and she really needed a new set.   
            Kaidan laughed and rubbed the back of his neck, smiling. “Sure Shepard.” He said sweetly. For the first time ever, Shepard returned the smile. He felt pretty damned proud of himself. So the way to her was to be gentle and useful… no wonder Garrus had made strides with her, that was his default self. Kaidan was always kind, but he often was more outgoing, not so shy. If he kept a gentle hand, maybe he could get her to at least go out with him once; it never hurt just one date.

            Once at the shops, Kaidan stopped, “Why don’t you guys go on ahead, I have to special order something, for my implant” he lied, “I’ll catch up at the tower for the meeting, I wanna see the outcome too!” he grinned.   
            Shepard looked at him and shrugged, “Okay, good luck with your order and be safe Kaidan” she waved. With Garrus next to her she felt more stable, and was able to be more comfortable.   
            “hmmm” muttered Garrus as he watched Alenko go into the shop. He didn’t trust the male; then again he didn’t know why he didn’t trust him. Was he getting Territorial already? Damn it, he was hoping he wasn’t he hadn’t even asked Shepard out and he was already thinking he had any claim to her. He’d better reel it back; he didn’t want to push her any more than he wanted her pulling from him.   
            Shepard turned and looked up at him, “What’s up?” she asked him softly, that sound coming from his chest was the one she had noticed he made whenever something he didn’t like was happening.   
            Garrus looked at her, “Hmm? Oh! Nothing Shepard” he flared his mandibles at her in a grin, which she returned happily. “Go find that tool set you need then maybe grab a cup of kava before the meeting?” he asked.   
            “Yeah!” she shrugged happily as he offered her his arm. She took it with a bright grin and he felt himself purring. “By the way, you deserve to be spoiled for more than just because you’ve earned It.” he knew he was really taking a chance here, “You deserve it… well…” he was faltering, “Hell, because I just happen to think you do.” He failed, deflating next to her.   
            Shepard was silent the whole time, but once he stopped she began to laugh, “Thank you, I have to admit, I am enjoying your attention. I hope you’ll let me return the favors.” She told him as she patted his gloved wrist and gazed up at him warmly.   
            Garrus felt all the blood rush up and he was sure his neck was a little more blue than normal. Shepard also noticed this and gave him a sweet smile but said nothing, saving his embarrassment. Garrus thanked the spirits for helping him through that, and repair the damage he had made that morning by being a coward. He was rewarded behind a pillar with a very lovely purr from her, and with that, all the embarrassment from him exposing his feelings were worth it.


	23. What a Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus worms his way past the last wall...  
> A glimpse of the Shepard without the fear.

            Anxiety hit her like a Krogan’s head-butt as soon as she stepped into the large council chambers. Her back went stiff, she felt the nape of her neck get steady and her pulse quicken. She wanted to make sure that Saren was getting what he deserved, she wanted to go and track him down and bring him back for proper trial, truthfully she wanted to blow his brains out but Nihlus loved him so she could settle for giving him a good ass kicking, however part of her said that this was all going to make a dramatic turn. Her instincts couldn’t pinpoint what way the turn would go, but she knew it was going to turn.   
            “Hey” whispered Garrus as he pulled her to the side on the second platform, into the more discreet area under the balcony. “Hey it’s all going to be okay, Shepard you got him, Tali has him recorded, they can’t refuse that.” He tried to reassure her.   
            Shepard swallowed thickly and nodded her head, her fingers popping as she closed her hand into a fist she was so tense. Garrus grabbed her arms and slowly slid his hands down to hold hers. She sucked in air and held her breath as he did this, watching his face intently. Her hands relaxed as he rubbed his thumbs in circles on the backs of her palms. “It’s all going to be okay. Trust me.”   
            “Nihlus said that too, he ended up in the hospital” she told him seriously. Shepard liked Garrus, more and differently than she liked Nihlus… and Nihlus getting hurt had hurt her so badly inside. What happened if Garrus did? What happened if he didn’t make it? She lowered her head and closed her eyes.   
            Garrus smirked, “Hey, I’m not Nihlus.” He told her gently, “I’ve known you two days Shepard, only two days and to hell with it I think you’re the only person I’ve ever felt honestly comfortable with.” He admitted to her as he ran his thumbs over her knuckles and looked at her hands. They were so small, yet he could see the scars of so much pain and fight that she’d been through. They scrolled across her skin like a story in an unknown language; scratch that, in the language of battle. A language many came across but few could actually understand.   
            She lifted her head and looked up at him; he never thought he’d see her so open with him as for her to let him see her face show her uncertainty. “Don’t get hurt, I’ll kick your ass.” She told him firmly. She meant it too. “Please, if danger comes, you run, let me handle it.”   
            Garrus smirked again and awkwardly laced his fingers with hers; “You honestly think I would follow those Orders?” he leaned in very close to her face, “Sheepurd.”   
            “You’ll be the death of me Garbus” she replied with a laugh, her tension had just melted off her, just like that. “I’m dead serious though; I will save your ass and then kick it all the way back into ICU if you get hurt.”   
            “Mmmm, Promises Promises~” he purred at her as he straightened, “You remember Shepard…” he stopped and swallowed thickly, “No Shepard without Vakarian.” He said to her firmly. “I mean that”   
            “Will you answer me honestly?” she asked after few long moments between them, he still held her hands, and she comfortably let him. She still however had anxiety coursing through her.   
            Garrus looked at her and gave a soft smile, “Always” he promised her, his voice soft and a little breathless.   
            Shepard looked at her feet and sighed before she looked up at the ceiling and bit her lip. “What are your intentions?” she asked as she met his gaze with her own stare.   
            Garrus gave a half a laugh, “I would have hoped you’d have picked up on that by now Shepard, do I honestly strike you as a guy who goes out of his way for anyone?” he asked as he smirked at her. “Obviously I just want to get you drunk and fuck you stupid as your first alien” he was purely joking, and he was glad that his tone said that was obvious because she started chuckling. He paused then, “After this, no matter the outcome, Dinner and Drinks with me?” he asked. “I’ll be your Garbus you be my Sheepurd?”   
            She sputtered into hard laugher as he yanked her forward and purred into her ear, causing her to let go of his hands and grip his arms, laughing more as he smiled against her. “Stop! Garbus, it tickles”   
            “Say yes!” he purred loudly, purposefully against her earlobe then.   
            Shepard continued to laugh but pulled away gently, her face falling. “Kaidan already asked me… I said yes without thinking…”   
            Garrus stopped purring and looked down at her, “honor it”   
            “What?”   
            “Go.” He urged her, “Go to dinner with him… come back to me.”  
            Shepard stared at him in complete shock. “Vakarian…”   
            “Look Shepard, I like you; I’m not going to deny that anymore. I tried really hard to and it hurt more than I was willing to put up with.” He explained, “You like me too, more than you like him. However I know you’re in a hard position with all this, being a C.O. and having this sort of thing thrust upon you.” He cleared his throat and looked at her, “Do what you have to do to not make waves… and if you want to… come back home to me”   
            Shepard stared at him for a moment, before she teared up and sniffled a little. Grinning she nodded and looked up at him, “Yeah, I’ll do that…” she laughed a little and wiped her nose on her wrist.   
            Garrus laughed and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, “What am I going to do with you?” he asked as he shoved the cloth in her face. She took it and wiped her nose and eyes. He just gave her an affectionate look. “What would you do without me?”   
            “Still be an overly anxious and emotional wreck without anyone to lean on. Push myself past my ultimate limits and die of a heart attack induced via stress?” she offered.   
            “Yeah no, not happening, I full intend to get you drunk off your ass and claim your Alien V Card. You have to be alive for that to happen.” he smirked at her. Shepard started laughing into the cloth and grinned.   
            “Who knows? Maybe you will…” she sniffled as she folded up the cloth and pocketed it. She was not giving it back to him while it was fall full of her mucus.   
            “Don’t tease a guy”   
            “Who said I was teasing?”   
            “I can never tell if you are or aren’t and that’s kind of crushing.”   
            Shepard grabbed his yoke and pulled him down to her, “Well, guess you’ll just have to wait and see then won’t you?” she asked. Her mouth was so close to his that Garrus could smell her breath and felt himself get a little dizzy. This was a part of Shepard that didn’t come into the light, the part of her that was true when she had confidence… he liked it a lot. She stared into his eyes with a fire he hadn’t seen before, and hoped he would see often from now on, before that playful smirk came on her face and she pushed him back.   
            He staggered and watched as she walked with new purpose up the stairs, head held high and like she could take on anything. He couldn’t hold down the purring in his chest as he watched her and knew he was a part of that confidence. That was the real Shepard, strong and fearless. “Spirits…” he breathed out as he ran a hand over his fringe and tried to get his heart to slow down. Shepard was great as he had met her, but her with that confidence and her real personality showing out? “What a Woman…” he chuckled to himself as he straightened and rushed to catch up with her.


	24. Specter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard becomes the first human Specter.  
> more colorful dialogue via Echo

            Anderson looked at Shepard walk up with her head held high and smiled, he liked it when she was without the worry. “Come on, Udina’s presenting the Quarian’s evidence to the council.” He told her as he kept up stride.  
            Garrus turned to the right and leaned back against a giant potter to the left, he could watch from there and not be in the way. Wrex saw him and bumbled over, leaning back too and grossing his arms. “You smell happy” he grunted.  
            Garrus went stiff for a split second before he stood straight, “I am.”  
            “Good. Then you can turn down the little Quarian in a nice way, since she has it bad for you.” said Wrex with a grumble. He was so tired of the constant questions and babbling, not that he didn’t see why she was doing it, she was young and had a crush. However he couldn’t bring himself to crush her feelings by telling her that the Turian “dreamboat” had it bad for their commander. Who so far Tali was on the fence about; on one hand Shepard was admirable in many ways, on the other she had no business being with a turian.  
            “What?” asked Garrus as he gaped at Wrex. “Wait… Tali’Zorah… Huh?” he asked completely floored and confused.  
            “The little Quarian likes you” said Wrex slowly, like Garrus was stupid. “As in she wants you and her in a decom room without clothes because she thinks you’re gentle with those talons.” Wrex had heard every single scenario that Tali could come up with, so many times he could probably repeat them now.  
            A breathless laugh escaped from his throat as he stared off into nowhere, just shocked. “I… um…” he was lost for words. This was something he’d better tell Shepard about later, he had no idea what he was walking into… there was enough trouble with the whole Kaidan thing. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at Shepard. She must’ve sensed him before she turned her head and looked at him, a sweet smile on her face. He melted to it and returned the smile before she turned her attention back to the council. He couldn’t keep it from her; Always honest, Always open… that’s how they were going to play this. It was the only way they honestly had a shot.

            “You wanted Proof? There it is!” ran out Udina in an impressively authoritarian voice. He then stood straight and eyed them, daring them to come up with a reason as to why such concrete evidence was not good enough.  
            It never came, the Turian councilor looked furious, however for once it wasn’t at them. He spoke, his voice filled with controlled rage. “This evidence is _irrefutable_ Ambassador. Saren will be stripped of his status and all efforts will be made to bring him in to answer for his crime!” he ordered.  
            “I recognize the other voice” said the Asari councilor as she turned to her turian equal, “the one speaking with Saren? It’s Matriarch Benezia.”  
            Shepard stepped forward, “Who?”  
            The Asari Councilor looked at Shepard and sighed; Shepard rolled her eyes and made a gesture for her to tell her. The councilor didn’t look pleased but explained anyways, “Matriarchs are powerful Asari who have entered the final stage of their lives. Revered for their wisdom and experience, they serve are guides and mentors to my people.” She paused and looked grim, “Matriarch Benezia is a powerful biotic, and she had many followers. She will make a formidable ally for Saren.”  
            The Salarian councilor interjected, “I’m more interested in the Reapers…” he started, “What do you know about them?”  
            Anderson stepped forward and spoke, “Only what we extracted from the Geth’s memory core. The Reapers were an ancient race of machines that wiped out the Protheans. Then they vanished.”  
            “The Geth believe the Reapers are gods, and that Saren is the Prophet for their return.” Shepard informed, her brain already going at light speed.  
            “We think the Conduit is the key to bringing them back. Saren is searching for it. That’s why he attacked Eden Prime.” Anderson added.  
            “Do we even know what this “Conduit” is?” asked the Salarian councilor, his voice already questioning everything.  
            “What? Saren, a known traitor who is off his merry space rocker, thinking it is the way to bring back a race of ancient machines that destroy all advance life isn’t enough for you to want to act?” asked Shepard, giving him a look like he was a window licking Krogan.  
            Garrus snorted with laughter, to which they all turned and looked at him, he froze and stared at them all back before they all went back to each other. Shepard however looked at him and smiled, giving him a wink; he rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed and looked away from her.  
            “Listen to what you are saying!” snapped the turian councilor. “Saren wants to bring back the machines that wiped out all life in the Galaxy? Impossible, It has to be!” He stood straighter, “Where did the Reapers go? Why did they vanish? How come we’ve found no trace of their existence? If they were real we would have found something!”  
            “Spirits of the unknown save this man from himself he’s missing half his brain and all his common sense!” cried Shepard as she threw up her hands, “You didn’t believe us about Saren, well look-dee-fucking-doo He’s a traitor, all the evidence for you right there. Do you think we just all write shit on piece of paper drop it in a hat, and then pick one to complain about? We have nothing better to do? NO! This is a real issue that you need to get your spikey head out of your ass long enough to actually take a fucking clear look at!” snarled Shepard. “Don’t start with me tentacle tits!” she jabbed at the Asari councilor.  
            The Asari continued anyways, ignoring the fact that Wrex and Garrus were laughing in the corner holding onto each other, Wrex wiping big tears from his eyes. Kaidan and Ashley were right there with them, having arrived just in time to hear that. Tali was standing in shock looking at Shepard with a hand over her purifier. Udina looked like he was going to have a stroke, and even Anderson was struggling to hide a smile.  
            “That was different.” She said sternly, “You proved Saren betrayed the council. We all agree Saren is using the Geth to find the conduit. We just don’t really know why.”  
            “The Reapers are obviously just a myth Commander” said the Salarian Councilor. “A convenient little lie to cover Saren’s true purpose. A legend he’s using to bend the Geth to his will.  
            Shepard thought she was going to have an aneurism. “Fuck me sideways…” she muttered under her breath, “Fifty thousand years ago the Protheans were completely wiped out by the Reapers. If Saren finds the conduit, it is gonna happen again. Once more all Galactic civilization will be wiped clean and we all will be the next Protheans. What part of this doesn’t make sense to you three? Am I speaking Spanish or something? Creole Maybe? Anderson can you understand me?” Shepard asked, clearly losing her patience with the council. Anderson however gave her a sympathetic look and shook his head at her. He mouthed at her to silently calm down, she obeyed and sighed.  
            “Saren is a rogue agent on the run for his life. He no longer has the rights or resources of a Specter. The Council has stripped him of his position.” reminded the turian councilor.  
            Udina came forward, “That is not good enough!” he demanded, “Saren is hiding in the Traverse! Send your Fleet In!” he ordered.  
            “A Fleet cannot track down one man Ambassador” sighed the Salarian above them.  
            Udina glared at them, “A citadel fleet could secure the entire region. Keep the Geth from attacking any more of our colonies.”  
            The turian councilor rose his voice, “Or it could trigger a war with the Terminus Systerms! We won’t be dragged into a galactic confrontation over a few dozen _Human_ colonies!”  
            There were a few long moments of silence before Shepard sighed, “Let me go” she said firmly. Her hands going behind her back and her body standing straight; she looked at each of them dead in the eye. “I can track him, I have the know how to handle such things, have a look at my file and you’ll see for yourself.” He told them.  
            The three looked at each other before they each typed on a terminal and pulled up what she assumed was her file. It took only a few long, painful moments before the Asari councilor closed it and looked at Shepard. “The Commander is right” she said as she looked at the turian next to her, “There is a way to stop Saren that doesn’t require fleets or armies.”  
            “No! It’s too soon!” snapped the Turian councilor, “Humanity is not ready for the responsibilities that come with joining the Specters!”  
            Udina looked like he was about to blow up, and Shepard was fighting with what little shreds of control she had left. Luckily, a flash went across all of the councilors monitors and a little screen with Nihlus’ face came up. “Councilors! Good evening!” he greeted cheerily.  
            “Specter Kryik! Shouldn’t you be resting? And didn’t I tell you to stop hacking into our things?” asked the turian councilor with a scowl.  
            “You did sir, however I couldn’t help but have to tune into this trial via hacking, as you know I have a large hole in my chest from a fellow specter who you are just going to let get away with this because you won’t move your ass!” snipped Nihlus. “I’ve fought alongside Shepard, I am only alive because she was able to pull us all out of there and carry me onto the Normandy. If you don’t want to think of this as humanity as a whole joining the Specters, fine, do it, however… Shepard is ready. You won’t find a better human to fit, dare I go to say you won’t find anyone better than her.” he said firmly.  
            The Turian councilor seemed to be chewing on it, “Are you certain Kryik? Your opinion is highly valued.”  
            “I have no doubts what so ever.” He said sternly. “Approve it” he then growled before the screen disappeared.  
            The councilors looked at each other once more before the Salarian pulled up his terminal again and began typing, the Asari followed, it was a half moment and the Turian councilor did the same. “Commander Shepard, Step Forward” ordered the Asari Councilor.  
            Shepard took a deep breath and stepped to the very front. Inside she was a bundle of nerves, however on the outside she looked as if nothing would shake her. Was this really happening? Was she being made into the first human Specter?  
            “It is the decision of The Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of The Citadel.” She said clearly.  
            “Specters are not trained, but chosen. Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle; those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file.” The Salarian rang out.  
            “Specters are an ideal, a symbol; the embodiment of Courage, Determination, and Self-reliance. They are the right hand of The Council, instruments of our will.” declared the Asari.  
            The Turian councilor said his lines next, “Specters bear a great burden. They are protectors of Galactic peace, both our first and last lines of defense. The safety of the Galaxy is theirs to uphold.”  
            “You are the first human Specter, Commander. This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species.” Informed the Asari, her gaze none to warning for them to realize how important it was.  
            Shepard stood for a few seconds, before she looked at them and bowed respectfully, “I am greatly honored, Councilors.”  
            “We’re sending you into the Travese after Saren. He’s a fugitive from justice, so you are authorized to use any means to either apprehend or eliminate him.” the Salarian councilor informed her.  
            Shepard stood at attention and nodded, with that the Asari councilor stood straight. “This meeting of the Council is Adjourned.”


	25. Congratulations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Specter Approval.

            Anderson was beaming, not unlike a proud father. He didn’t let anyone but Shepard know this, but he was so fond of her, he viewed her like she was his own child. So his pride was swollen so largely in his chest. “Congratulations Commander.” He beamed at her with a wide grin, his hand extending out to hers.  
            Shepard took it and shook it firmly, she was glowing from the inside out, but her body and face were calm. Ashley ran over and grabbed the taller woman’s shoulders jumping up and down. “You did it Shepard!” she cheered for the person she considered a friend. Shepard staggered but smiled and laughed a little at the antics.   
            Kaidan walked over and grabbed Shepard’s hand discreetly, “Congratulations Shepard” he said to her warmly. Getting very close to her, Shepard tried not to go ridged, but he was so close, and she still didn’t have feelings like that towards him. Ashley grinned and hip bumped her closer to Kaidan, who moved his arm around her to hold her hip. Shepard swallowed the fear and just awkwardly smiled. Thankfully Udina spoke up and Shepard was able to pull away from his quickly.   
            “We’ve got a lot of work to do Shepard. You’re going to need a Ship, A Crew, Supplies…” he mused.  
            Anderson smiled before looking at Shepard, “You’ll get special access to weapons and training now, when you get a chance, head down to C-Sec and go into the Specter Requisitions Office.   
            “Anderson! Come with me, I will need your help to set all this up!” said Udina cheerily as he began walking. Anderson scowled at him before he looked at Shepard and sighed. He gave her another smile, to which she returned with a wide and happy grin that she had made him proud. He chuckled before following Udina.

            “Bastard didn’t even thank you…” grumbled Wrex as he walked up. Tali looking at Garrus and running to his side, her hands gripping his arm as she beamed behind her mask, her eyes the only clue to her smile.   
            “Well… I haven’t really done anything yet.” She shrugged before holding the back of her neck with both hands and standing. “What a past two days…” she mused as she stood there with them. She then however shrugged and gave a bright smile, “Feels kinda cool though, getting noticed…”   
            “You deserve it Skipper, if anyone does it’s you!” said Ashley with a bright smile. Shepard looked at her and grinned, “Thank you Ashley, Thank all of you actually.” She told them honestly. “All of you have helped me so much, this credit should and will be spread amongst all of us, because without you all, Hell… I don’t think I would have pulled this off.” She thanked them humbly.   
            “Sure you would.” Smirked Garrus as he tried to pull his arm from Tali’s grasp. “Not as _Stylishly_ of course…” he added before he cocked his head at her and gave her a sly smile.   
            “Keep it up Vakarian.” Laughed Shepard in mock warning as she sighed, “ah well, it’s all go.” She breathed as she walked. “If I remember, we still have three more days shore-leave, go enjoy it ya’ll”   
            “Ya’ll?” asked Ashley as she looked at Shepard, “What exactly are you saying?” she laughed with a snort, “Sound like a hick”   
            “’Eyy! Don’t be slammin’ on my roots Williams, _Southern Hospitality_ , remember that!” she warned, which was true, Shepard had only been so easy going with them because of her roots. Were she to follow Alliance regulations with this, well… Ashley would be acting so buddy buddy and Kaidan sure as hell wouldn’t keep trying to grab her hand.   
            “Shepard?” asked Kaidan as they reached the elevator, “If you remember… I invited you to Dinner?” he asked.   
            Shepard internally grimaced, “Yes… okay.” She gave in. She didn’t want to go, she wanted to go off with Garrus somewhere and hear more of his voice smooth talking her. However she had to play this cool otherwise things could fall apart easily.

            Wrex sighed and held his nose as Garrus started growling and glaring at Kaidan. “You reek Vakarian, reel it in.” grumbled the Krogan as he stood next to Garrus and let Kaidan and Shepard take the elevator first. “Take the Quarian out on a date or something” he said a little too loudly.   
            “A Date?!” asked Tali as she looked up at Garrus excitedly, the turian looked at Wrex angrily before he looked at Tali and just couldn’t bring himself to crush her.   
            “Well, how about we just go together and have a snack?” he asked, “There’s this great confectionary stand in the wards.” He informed. “They have some pretty good dextro stuff”   
            “Aww! That’s cute Garrus! You like sweets?” asked Tali as she stood infront of him and gazed up at him. Garrus smirked, he did like sweets a little… but not really candy. He liked chocolate sometimes, but he was definitely more a pastry guy. Not that he would admit that to anyone… maybe Shepard.   
            “A little.” He somewhat lied.   
            Wrex grumbled and looked at his omni-tool for the time. “Hey, angry Pyjack, you like to shoot things and drink?” he asked looking to Ashley.   
            “Yeah…. Why?” she asked suspiciously.   
            “Seniors coupon, for this range I know of here. Go half and half on a private range room and drink and shoot?” he asked. “I don’t wanna pay the whole 500 credits, but hell I need to shoot something…”   
            Ashley looked at him, “Fine, all you can drink right?” she asked.   
            “Pyjack, you’re talking to Wrex, of course it’s all you can drink.” He chuckled as he got into the elevator.   
            Garrus looked to Wrex to help him, but was ignored as Ashley began cheering and telling Wrex he may be the one okay alien she’s ever met so far. To this he just boomed with laughter as the doors closed.   
            “What else do you like Garrus?” asked Tali as she beamed up at him. Garrus looked at her before he sighed. This was going to be a long night… and he hoped Shepard came back to him.


	26. Not, Not Together?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She came back to him... a small analysis of what "they" really "is"

Garrus came out of the Elevator to his apartment looking drained. Tali was a nice, sweet girl… but she was a little young for him and so energetic. He didn’t know what he did to get her attention but whatever it was he regretted it.  
            Looking up he froze, Shepard was waiting next to his door. “Hey.” She smiled gently.   
            He felt like everything was suddenly much better; he rushed over only to hesitate as he got near. “Hey…” he muttered to her softly as he looked down at her. His fingers twitched, the urge to grab her hand great as he looked at her face. She looked as tired as him, but if her face didn’t make him feel warm again, nothing ever would.   
            Shepard reached and took his hand, and then he eagerly laced their fingers together. As awkward as it was; it just felt right, like Nihlus had said. “Hi” he breathed out as he took a step closer to her, his head coming towards hers. He wanted to touch his forehead to hers… but was that too eager? Too fast? What did humans do in this sort of situation? He had no clue and was starting to panic.   
            “Shhh.” whispered Shepard as she smiled at him. He was making a worried keen in his chest unintentionally. “Worried I wouldn’t come back?” she asked softly, her face tilting up and just barely brushing her forehead to his. She’d asked Nihlus what turians did… that was one very long ass com call… but informative.   
            Garrus sighed and relaxed, his head coming fully against hers. “Yeah…” he admitted. “Tali likes me… like Alenko likes you…”   
            “I know… its okay.” She told him softly as she nuzzled him. “Same goes for you, do what you need to… but just come back to me.” She smiled then and gave a breathy laugh, “Besides, she’s a cute little thing, talented as fuck… but oh so cute.”   
            “You date her then…” grumbled Garrus as he pressed against her forehead a little firmer. Spirits, he hadn’t ever felt like this before…  
            “Maybe I will, always did like the fairer sex more” she teased; he opened his eyes and looked at her with squinted eyes. “Oh stop it, no one could make me feel like my _Garbus_ does”   
            “ _Oh Sheepurd~_ ” he purred at her. She laughed and looked at him, biting her lower lip. He smiled at her before giving her a firm press and rub with his forehead. Standing straight he opened his apartment without breaking eye contact with her. “So I’m yours now?”   
            “Only if you want to be” said Shepard honestly, her confidence wavering. “Only if you want me…”   
            “I’m not typically a relationship guy Shepard…” he started, before he watched her face fall, “However… for you… I’m more than willing to give it a shot.” He walked in and took off his boots before walking towards his bedroom. “You’re special.”   
            “Oh?” asked Shepard as she pulled off her own shoes at the doorway and put them next to his. “What makes me different?”   
            Garrus looked out from his bedroom; “You.” was all he said as he ducked back in to finish changing.   
            Shepard felt herself turn three shades darker, before she smiled and shrugged to herself. She walked over to his bedroom and watched his back as he stripped off his under armor. Okay, it was definitely a turian thing to be sexually appealing, the way all his muscles and plates moved had her feeling a spark in her abdomen that she hadn’t felt for a man… ever really.   
            “Want a show?” asked Garrus as he looked over his shoulder at her and laughed. Turning he stood with it half way off him. “Little privacy Shepard?”   
            “Mm…” she mused as she walked forward and put up her hands. He watched her swallowing thickly as she placed them on his chest plates. He was hot to the touch, his plates a little rough, the ones on his chest gleaming a little more than the ones on his face. He just watched her, doing his best to keep calm as she sated her curiosity.   
            Her small fingers found the flesh between his plates and he sucked in breath as she touched them. She looked up at him worried, but he gave her a small smile. “Can I…?” he asked, slightly unsure of himself.   
            Shepard looked at him, she trusted him to not turn violent or overstep any boundaries… right? Cautiously she nodded. She however was pleasantly surprised to find that he just pressed his head to hers again, firmly nuzzling against his, his eyes closed and sighing. She smiled and pressed back against him. Quickly he brought his hands up and gripped her shoulders lightly, thanking all the spirits that she was comfortable with him.   
            The longer he was against her, the more he picked up from her scent. She was as happy as he, her pulse was a little quicker, she wasn’t aroused… even though he had a small flame for her in his gut already. He caught the scent of Kaidan, with a growl he pulled away for a moment to look at her.   
            “Vakarian?” she asked softly. Having been enjoying the affection, the way he was growling and looked angry had her worried.   
            “What’d he do?”   
            “Who?”   
            “Alenko.”  
            “Nothing, got a little plastered, tried to get handsy and make out while I helped him to his hotel room.” She told him truthfully, “…Oh… you can smell him on me can’t you?”  
            Garrus looked at her, his hands sliding down her waist and gripping her hips, pulling her close. “Yeah…” he admitted as he put his forehead back against hers. “I don’t like it…”   
            “I know… I’m sorry” she said softly, “if you don’t want to… go through this I would understand.” She told him softly, “You can back out any time.”  
            “Never.” snarled Garrus as he moved his forehead from hers to her cheek and neck. “I have a better idea” he rumbled as he yanked her even closer, her hands going to his biceps and gripping the muscle firmly.   
            Shepard panicked slightly, “Vakarian, I don’t know if I’m ready to do…” she lost her train of thought as he held her tightly, his arms around her now. “Do…” she tried again as he brought his forehead back up to hers and purred at her.   
            “Don’t worry about that Shepard, if we go that far, we will when we’re both ready for it.” he told her gently, “However… you can indulge me by letting me do a turian thing.”   
            “What Turian thing?”   
            “Scent mark you.” He told her gently as he did the same thing to her other cheek and neck.   
            “Oh…” breathed Shepard as she tilted her head so he could get at her neck. “Yeah, I can” she grinned as she moved her arms to around his neck and turned her face to bury itself in his neck. She knew she wasn’t a turian, but maybe the sentiment would help him feel even better.  
            She was right; Garrus was putty and purring in her arms in seconds, holding her tightly to him for some very long moments. Eventually she pulled away and he smiled at her contently, she returned it with a grin and her flushed face. “You guys like owning things huh?” she asked.   
            “What do you mean?” he asked as he began to peel the stretchy material away from his hips and Shepard left the room, standing outside it if with her back against the wall.   
            Shepard shrugged, “Nihlus said you guys are all about scents, and markings.” Slowly she took a breath, “You don’t like to share unless both of the parties agree to it, where you all are usually pretty open, and cheating either isn’t a thin or seriously bad.”   
            Garrus chewed on that information and shrugged, “More or less, Turians vary as much as humans do. I’m not as territorial as Nihlus probably is however, “He stopped as he heard her laughing, “What?!”  
            “Garrus, you knew I was going to dinner with him, you still got all angry.” She laughed at him, “It’s not like I suddenly came to you smelling like another man.”   
            Okay, she had him there, “Okay well maybe I’m a little more… protective… when it comes to this situation.” He tried to defend himself, “I’ve never actually wanted to date someone before Shepard. Cut me a little slack here.” He basically whined at her.   
            “I don’t know if I would call this dating… Shooting people together, chasing bad guys, about to go on a man hunt across the galaxy for a half bird half machine?” she asked as he came out in a pair of what she was assuming were the turian version of pajama pants. “Dating usually involves dinners, and fun things…”   
            “Shooting people is fun” laughed Garrus as he reached into his fridge and pulled out some take out boxes, “and I got your dinner right here.” He then stood smirking at her. “Besides, you don’t strike me as the dinner and drinks kind of gal.”   
            “How do you know me so well, did we meet before two days ago?” she asked as she smiled and walked over.   
            “Birds of a feather flock together?”   
            “You extranet searched that didn’t you?” she accused.   
            He was silent for a long time, “No?” he tried before smirking. Shepard punched him in the gut lightly and he laughed. _Damn, she’s stronger than she looks… and knows…_  
            Shepard took the boxes and moved to the couch, “I have a table you know?”   
            “Covered in gun parts, let’s not risk endangering the children Vakarian” she joked as she flopped back on the couch and put her arms behind her head.   
            Garrus gave a good natured and genuine laugh; he liked this part of her, the part that was relaxed and open. She was funny, witty, and charming; she probably didn’t realize how much so however. Not that he completely understood why she was even in this weird “whatever” they were in. Not a dating couple but not “not together”. It was confusing at best, but hey, he finally met someone who he felt comfortable around. Garrus’ wasn’t exactly “anti-social”; he was just not someone who trusted very easily.   
            He liked to chat with his work buddies, he liked to go out for drinks, go to the range, and have a little bit of a social life. However there wasn’t anyone in his life that he felt he could be completely open with. Apparently Shepard was the same on that front as him; she didn’t have anyone she was completely open with. No wonder when they found they weirdly clicked they’d pretty much collided together with such a force.   
            Attraction came in more forms than just sexual. Garrus found someone worth looking up to, worth following, worth listening to. She had the experience and knowhow to get anything done, as well as to give him some much needed guidance. He knew he was a hotheaded guy, he knew that he wasn’t exactly someone who thought about things deeply. Then again why?  
            Shepard had made him feel comfortable, even when she was yelling at him and awkwardly avoiding his glances. The first time he met her, he’d felt compelled to talk to her. She’d been a complete mess to look at, but her eyes were bright, she gave off this sense of stability that he didn’t quite understand. Since she was far from stable, the woman had him following her around to make sure she just didn’t walk into a pole or door.   
            He felt that though, like she stood against anything in her way and powered through it. That was all he needed then to realize that he liked her as a person. It was the way she had so unknowingly let him in that had gotten him past the more romantically inclined comforts. She was as awkward as he was when it came down to it, and he couldn’t find anything nicer than someone who understood.   
            It hadn’t been hard to figure out she liked him, her hormones had sucker punched him more than once with how she was into him. He’d been very confused, he was certain that humans and turians didn’t really mix. However here she was, crazy commander, liking him of all people and he’d fallen into it. He had no regrets so far about any of it though, just seeing this relaxed side of her was worth it to him.


	27. Garrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Floof

            Shepard smiled as Garrus came and sat next to her, “Gonna sleep like that?” he asked as he leaned forward and started opening the take out boxes. He looked for his and separated them, not that he would be in any danger if he ate any of her food, and he wasn’t allergic in the least bit. However if he wanted to get anything out of eating, he’d better stick to his.   
            “Maybe” hummed Shepard as she relaxed. “Pretty comfortable in here; how’s a single guy keep a place like this?”   
            Garrus chuckled as he stood to get them some drinks. “By being raised in a strict family.” He informed. “Sorry if the food is super cold; I bought it this morning… was praying I could get you to come back.”   
            Shepard turned on the couch and crossed her arms, her head coming down to rest. “Why did you say that this morning?”   
            “Honestly? I got scared.” He admitted with his back turned to her. “This has never happened to me before Shepard. I don’t just… fall into this sort of thing. I don’t know about you, but I freaked at the idea of being so comfortable with you.”   
            Shepard gazed at him gently, “It has never happened like this for me before either. I’ve never had friends or anyone before Vakarian, Nihlus was the second person in my life to ever just extend a hand of friendship.”   
            “What? No way.” snorted Garrus.   
            Shepard looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “What? Think I’m lying?”   
            He frozen then, “No, that’s not what I meant Shepard” he told her gently, he had to remember that they still didn’t know each other that well, despite how it felt.   
            “So what did you mean?”   
            “My opinion of you is very high Shepard, you should know that.” He told her as he walked back to the couch and sat down next to her, a little closer than he had for emphasis. Handing her a can of soda he looked into her eyes. “We’re very new to this aren’t we?”   
            “Yeah…” admitted Shepard, “I surely am, I just had my first girlfriend and she shattered my heart, broke me down hard.” Garrus turned and crossed his long legs, while she slid onto her hip. “I’m just as new as you, and wow did we make a jump.” She laughed nervously.   
            “Regretting anything?” he asked softly.   
            “Are you?”   
            “No.” he told her truthfully. “I’m unsure of how this is supposed to work, but I don’t want it to not work.”   
            Shepard rested her head against her wrist, “I’m scared, worried I pushed you somehow…”   
            Garrus looked at her and smirked, “Really Shepard? I could be forced into something?”   
            “Yes, you could have.” She said firmly, “I just, I have no idea what to do. Relationships are new to me. Everything has always been one sided with me. Either they liked me and I didn’t like them. Or I liked them and they just used me. Is this even a Relationship?”   
            Slowly he sighed and grabbed her hand; he didn’t know what to say. He just shrugged at her and turned their hands so their palms were touching. She laced her fingers through his and gripped his hand. He returned it before meeting her eyes. “Doesn’t have to be anything…” he offered. Before he rubbed his face, “Not, like… ugh”   
            Shepard gave him a sweet smile, “I get it.” she told him gently. He chuckled at her before he tentatively reached out; his look went questioning as his hand neared her head. She nodded and he gently ran his still gloved talons through her hair. Carefully she reached up and took his hand, releasing his other as she held his much larger one in both. Her fingers went to the clasp that kept them secured and her eyes looked up at him.   
            Garrus felt his pulse quicken as his chest and stomach started fluttering nervously while the blood course up his neck. He had no idea how to react, it was something as normal as hands, yet somehow he felt as if she were asking permission to cross some sort of line. For the first time, he felt himself thinking about it, she was asking, he could say no… he had every right to right there draw a line if he wasn’t ready to cross.   
            However… that felt wrong somehow. Thinking about it, thinking that it wasn’t something he wanted, it felt wrong. Thinking of her soft little fingers touching his hand and going forward? Going deeper into whatever the hell this was seemed right. It made him excited, rallied even to jump in. It was decided, slowly, he nodded to her.   
            She undid the clasp and gently pulled his glove from his hand. She didn’t seem off put by his talons, how they were very different from her fingers. On the contrary, she went straight for them, her fingers gently gripping his digit. He blunted his talons regularly, it got a little annoying if they snagged on things. However, they were still sharp. She found this out accidently and he panicked.   
            “Shepard!” he gasped as he reached for his glove, which she picked up and threw across the room before he could get it. She stuck her finger in her mouth however and continued to look at his hands. “Shepard, it’s okay, you’re injured.”   
            “I’ve had worse papercuts” she told him seriously as she scooted closer, nearly in his lap. He sucked in a breath as she moved his hand to her head, letting him feel her hair with his ungloved hand. “You have better control over your fingers than I do” she smiled as she pulled the finger from her mouth and looked at it. “I trust you Vakari-”  
            “Don’t call me that when it’s just us” he interrupted her. “It’s okay in front of everyone else… since you are the Commander. But when it’s just us…” he drifted off, suddenly realizing how demanding he sounded.   
            Shepard gave him a sympathetic look and weak smile. “What would you like me to call you then? Anything you want.” She reassured him.   
            Garrus knew his neck had to be tinged blue by now, even through the thick hide. His mandibles clicked and he pulled them tight to his face, looking off to the side. She could call him by his name, but he figured she would eventually anyways… Everyone else was, so she would probably follow when she was comfortable with it. Huffing a little, he thought about “Garbus” but that was more of a joke between then than anything sweet. He honestly had no idea…  
            Shepard laughed softly as she played with his hand, “Garrus?” she softly purred to him. He stiffened and looked at her; he’d never imagined hearing his name and being able to love how it sounded. How she had purred it out made his heart jolt and he found himself battling the affectionate chuff he wanted to answer her with. “Garrus” she said again, more casually, like how she said anyone else’s name. He liked that too… but not as much. “Garrus” she said a little firmly, her eyes squinting before she smiled and laughed, failing at trying to sound stern. He chuckled right there with her, his throat giving her a purr.   
            “Garrus.” she purred out again. He chuffed at her before he could stop himself and bent forward putting his head on her shoulder. She grinned and wrapped her arms around him. “Lost for words there?” she paused, “Garrus.” she again purred his name out and he just started purring, his arms going around her. How could his name sound so wonderful?  
            Shepard giggled and turned her head to nose at his temple, he didn’t even care that his talons were out anymore. As long as she always said his name like that he would do anything she asked. Shepard herself was just beaming; he was adorable when he was feeling emotions.   
            Shepard didn’t know how long he was a purring ball of affection, but she soon found herself laying back, him between her legs as he slept with his head on her chest. She just laid there on the couch and absentmindedly touched his fringe, her fingers meeting and touching the points as she explored lightly. Occasionally she would change the channel, after a while she waved her omni-tool and shut off the lights. Settling she nestled into one of his weird pillows and went to sleep to the light of some odd Volus game show.


	28. Hopefully

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more floof... all the floof

            Waking up was never really her thing, she wasn’t a morning person in the slightest. Coffee and time is what she needed to actually awaken. However that wasn’t an option this morning. Shepard was still on her back, still under a very much asleep and slightly heavy turian. It didn’t bother her; it just meant that she was then forced to wake up, sin the coffee, and only with time. He seemed to be right at home though, nestling into her a couple times, she’d wince as he’d scrape her healing wound, or give a slight hiss as his talons gripped her sides just a little too tight.    
            She reviewed what had all happened as of late. She’d come back to work, ended up nearly breaking down on a space craft… made her first friend (A cheeky, perverse, and friendly turian Specter). Her first friend had been shot and almost killed by his lover slash mate. She’d yelled and lost her patience with the council multiple times, she’d met a beautiful and wonderful as holy sin guy. Said guy was a C-Sec agent: who was a trigger happy, hotheaded, stubborn, cocky, and absolutely adorable dorky space dinosaur bird. She’d then met a cranky old man Krogan. She’d also met: A cute but young Quarian, a gun-happy super woman, an emotionally clingy Sentinel who really couldn’t take a hint, a snarky crippled Pilot, and a sweet caring and very capable Medic.  
            Over all, she’d added a handful of people into her life and she didn’t know if any of them were a good or bad choice. Not even Garrus, who despite the closeness they’d instantly felt, she had doubts about actually going on and following her instincts. Her instincts hadn’t always been right, in example Sophie; however she was remembering the itching at the back of her brain that she had chosen to ignore towards the end of her relationship.  
            Sophie had been acting more and more strange, more and more aggressive and angry with her. They’d used to laugh and spend time together; of course Sophie being a civilian meant that that time together was usually shopping with her or doing things she liked. Shepard didn’t find dinner, dancing, drinking, and shopping to be all that fun… maybe dinner… because food and who didn’t love food? However she had loved Sophie so she put up with it. In reflection however, Shepard realized she was losing herself to the woman.  
            Shepard had always been a little jumpy, a little quirky… but the stress of never being able to blow out her vents, go off and take on hard tasks because her girlfriend would cry and be worried. She couldn’t handle always being pent up, always having the itching in her hands to work at something. She didn’t like that she had had to grow her hair long and keep it in a certain style, or wear things that she obviously didn’t find comfortable. She hated the fact her hands would be slapped whenever she’d pick at the fake nails that Sophie forced her to wear.  
            Shepard had realized over time, that she hadn’t been who she was. Sophie had morphed her, and it didn’t sit well with her. Shepard had always been told she was good at what she liked doing, it wasn’t pride, it was fact. She only gave her best to her job… Sophie had taken that from her. Shepard now was wondering what was so wrong with her that she broke down over this woman?  
            Love; it was simple as that. Love was a weird and forceful emotion that did things to the head and the heart. Foolishly, she scolded herself for this; she was already entering emotional grounds again half a year after Sophie had broken her. Kaidan had made her think about just swearing off all emotional attachment. They had some sort of shot to turn off those chemicals in the brain right?  
            Then she’d run into this punk, this beautiful, amazing, sweet, talented, perfect asshole. The guy who glued himself to her just so he could make sure that his investigation was completed, and now he wanted to go on this adventure with her. Even quit his job and was letting her stay with him he was that adamant they be together. He was lucky that he was so fucking cute, if it wasn’t for those eyes and the way she could see him falter under her gaze she would have cut him off so much sooner. That voice did things to her that she didn’t realize a sound could do to someone too.  
            “You’re a pain in my ass…” she mumbled sleepily as she rubbed his back and he began to purr in his sleep. “Glad I met you though.” She added with a soft smile, her arm going over her eyes as she continued to try and start up her body without some form of caffeine, even though she was finding kava to be much more appetizing as of late.  
            She had no idea why, but the kava seemed to work faster on her than coffee, plus the taste wasn’t as bitter, it was smoother, less of a bite. It had a very light taste to it as well, something that was only enhanced when Garrus put in his creamer and sugar, no wonder she had demanded his drink over hers; much to his disappointment when he ended up having to share his.  
            Garrus held her a little tighter and rubbed his face against her chest, his thumb gently stroking her bicep. Shepard chuckled lowly and gave him a rumble. She couldn’t purr like both turians and cats could back on earth. She however could vibrate like him and it took a lot more effort to get it out than he did. He responded to her rumble with a higher pitched one and tucked his fringe under her chin. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but she could deal with it until he woke up, she’d make him feed her.

            He couldn’t remember a time he’d slept better, he felt warm, comfortable. Sighing he nestled into whatever he was laying on, only to freeze as he felt very familiar fingers on the back of his neck. Looking up he found himself nose to nose with Shepard. Jumping back he sat on the opposite arm of the couch and just stared at her, his heart beating incredibly fast and his neck was surely blue, hell he was probably blue.  
            Shepard lifted her hand and revealed one sparkling brown eye, “What? Getting shy on me now? You’ve been asleep for nearly ten hours there” she grinned before looking at him fully, her hands resting on her stomach.  
            “I… er… Sorry Shepard” he managed to get out. The subvocals he was letting off were high pitched and embarrassed beyond anything he could fathom. Shepard winced and covered her ears; he looked at her before quickly trying to shush himself.  
            “Oh god! Garrus! For Christ’s Sake!” she whimpered as she then reached and grabbed him. Her forehead knocked against his, and while he had tried to pull away she reached around and held his head there. “Stop that. I don’t mind.” She growled at him, her eyes begging him to understand that.  
            Garrus took a deep breath and nuzzled against her forehead, “Sorry Shepard, I guess… it’s new for me, completely as in this has never happened before, to wake up with someone and be… um…”  
            Shepard pressed against him firmly and closed her eyes with a soft sigh, she didn’t get the physical response he did from it, but the meaning gave her an emotional one. “Cuddling?” she asked gently. He nodded and she smiled while her head pressed against his again. Garrus sighed contently and returned the affection. One long strong arm snaking under her as he pulled her against him and switched them.  
            “Shift change?”  
            “Oh we’re in shifts now? Ten hours on top of me and then another ten under me?” she asked playfully.  
            “Sounds good, but I have doubts about if I can go ten hours.” He joked. Shepard knocked on his chest and he chuckled as his fingers combing through her very short hair. Scratching at her scalp gently, he purred to her as she settled her face against his neck and settled.  
            “That feels amazing…” she hummed out as she relaxed against him. Garrus chuffed at her response as he picked up the remote and shut off the tv.  
            The silence was nice, just being with someone who didn’t set off any red flags. Shepard felt comfortable against the warm, little bit rough, alien carapace. She enjoyed the rise and fall of his chest under her as he just breathed and relaxed with her.  
            Garrus enjoyed it just as much, someone he didn’t mind being close to him, all over him, and hell he actually liked the idea of smelling of only her. He enjoyed the idea of her and he always waking up like this or at least a few more times… hopefully.


	29. Caution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost slipped there Garrus...

            “Sol, don’t give me that. I have to go, can you just please come take care of my place for me? You don’t have one of your own and I know you need a break from mom and dad.” Sighed Garrus as he looked at the vid of his sister. She was scowling back at him, bright blue eyes squinted. She was very beautiful, or at least Shepard thought she was. A female Garrus, only her plates and hide a few shades lighter and more cool toned than his.  
            “Garrus, you know what Dad would say if he knew you were running off?” asked Solana as she glared at Garrus, “And who is this Shepard anyways? You don’t mean that Human who saved that human place right?”  
            “Yes Sol, Commander Shepard. Hero of Elysium.” He sighed as he took a Glance at Shepard who was wearing nothing but the shirt that matched his pants, she was freshly showered and sipping a cup of kava, she smiled at him, her brown eyes beckoning him to come and get a little more human sugar.  
            Garrus raised an eyebrow plate, highly tempted to just hang up on his sister and go to his human… whatever, he didn’t know what to call her aside from in a professional sense. While he looked up to her, and was learning some things from her here and there, calling her his mentor while he nuzzled against her and they curled up together on the couch seemed wrong somehow.  
            “Who are you looking at Garrus?” asked Solana as she squinted her eyes at him. “Is there a woman there?! Oh! Do you have a girlfriend!? Mom is going to be so excited; you know she’s wanted you to become bonded for two years now! Is she pretty?” she asked excitedly.  
            Garrus took a deep breath and exhaled out his mouth, his fingers rubbing at his temple as he felt the familiar headache he usually had when dealing with family come on. “No Sol, there’s no one here.” He lied flat out. He wasn’t ashamed to show around Shepard, considering he did really like her. However he was not ready to show his… cuddly commander? Yeah that sounded okay in his head, to his family.  
            Shepard covered her mouth with one hand to stifle her laughter. She leaned against the doorframe to his room and smiled at him, her face a little flushed; those eyes bright and still beckoning him to come to her. He felt his pulse rise and the urge to go over to her and get a little close nearly overwhelming him.  
            “You Liar! Who’s there! Tell me who it is and I will come!” said Solana as she slammed her hands down on the table, “Never mind! I’ll come anyways! If I rush I can make it before you leave!” she shouted as she rushed out of the screen to somewhere unknown.  
            Garrus rested on his hand, but his eyes went back to Shepard. She chuffed at him before slowly turning and going into his bedroom. He watched her entire body move and felt the near constant slow burn he had for her in his abdomen flare. Tapping his talons on the table he sat at he was seriously considering hanging up on his sister and going to Shepard. He cared little if he even got past second base, but he knew he wanted to be touching her.  
            “OKAY, I’M GOING! SEE YOU BROTHER!” screamed Solana as he heard her room door shut and he just frowned at the screen.  
            “Couldn’t even get on the call to say goodbye?” he asked as he ended it and then closed his laptop. Getting up he rushed into the bedroom and was quickly tackled. Oh so she wanted to play? He could do that, anything as long as he got to be near her. While it was all new, he couldn’t help but still enjoy every moment of it.

            “Take out? Really?” asked Shepard as she held a large pack of ice to Garrus’ shoulder. Playing had gotten a little rougher than they’d both expected, but it’d been fun… even if she’d most likely bruised his shoulder from a punch.  
            “Do you want to get dressed any go anywhere? Because I’m good being shirtless here and having a pretty human nurse me back to health from the damage she caused.” He smirked at her. “How do you hit so hard anyways? You’re so small!”  
            “I’m not that small, and I have no idea, just always been a little different.” she shrugged while rubbing his arm. “I can pay.”  
            “The girl never pays.”  
            “Well then…” she flicked at his fringe and he turned at her sharply, “I should still be paying.”  
            “Oh, Ha Ha.” He snarked as she giggled and pressed her forehead to his temple, “Okay… you’re forgiven.”  
            “Oh~ you crack so easy!” she grinned as he chuffed at her and put his arm around her.  
            “And you look really good on my shirt.” He purred at her.  
            “Too bad that I have a pair of your underwear on underneath it, then you’d really like what you see.” She teased him as he began chucking and purring, his face now nosing into her jaw.  
            “Well, the night hasn’t even began…” he offered only to begin chuckling as she huffed into his aural canal and bite at his mandible. He didn’t even notice as she made a fist and connected it to his stomach, “Okay, no sex” he croaked out from the pain.  
            “I’m a lady, you have to woo me.” She joked.  
            Garrus simply nodded as he sighed and leaned back, “Okay, so no take out, what do you want?”  
            “What’s good?”  
            “Lots of foods, but for the two of us to eat together?” he rubbed his stomach, “Not too many choices close by. I could always pick up something and we can go see Nihlus too though.”  
            “He sounded so sad when he called, maybe we should…” mused Shepard as she rested her chin on his shoulder and looked at him. “He’s in a hard spot…”  
            “Yeah, fine… alright, I’ll go put on pants and a shirt.” He complained.  
            “And me?”  
            “You can go like that, give me something nice to look at.” He winked at her, dodging as a pillow came flying at him.  
            “Where are my clothes?!” called Shepard as she got off the couch.  
            “In the garbage, where they belong~”  
            “Seriously!”  
            “Try the Dryer!”  
            “You’re a saint!”  
            “A What?!”  
            “Never mind! You’re just amazing!”  
            Garrus game out of his bedroom pulling on a shirt, “You’re just now noticing?”  
            “I lied! You're horrible, I noticed this when you decided that it was perfectly okay for you to get handsy with me.” She laughed.  
            “Well, blame a guy for wanting to touch the girl he likes?” he grinned as he crossed over to her and pressed his forehead to hers. “I really do like you a lot Shepard. Thank you.”  
            “For what Garrus?” she asked as she returned the affection.  
            He considered getting sentimental, however the cautious nature he had to things involving the heart kept him from it. “Those legs.”  
            “Ass.”  
            “That too.”  
            “Get my boots soldier!” laughed Shepard as she pulled on her pants and kicked him to get moving.  
            “Aye Aye Commander!” he saluted as he dodged another hit and went to get her shoes. He’d almost let her know how fast he was falling, thankfully he’d caught himself.


	30. Goodbye Garbus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mission comes first... right?

            “No! Don’t leave without me!” whined Nihlus as he held onto Shepard and hugged her tightly, “Please, take me with you.”   
            “Nihlus! You’re not even healed enough to make it to the restroom on your own!” sighed Shepard as she patted his back. “Besides? Who is going to care for you?”   
            “Chakwas can! I can stay in the med bay! You have enough beds!” he shot out with a long keen.   
            “Shepard, I don’t think he’s going to let you go unless you let him come.” Smirked Garrus as he leaned in the doorway in full armor, they were supposed to leave today to find Dr. T’Soni. It didn’t look like that was going to happen without Nihlus though; he was desperate to be near Shepard. Rightfully, they were like family to each other.   
            Shepard sighed and gave up, “Alright, but you’d better behave and rest! You tell the nurses to pack everything you need, and you’re paying for it all!”  
            Nihlus looked up at her with large appreciative eyes and keened, before he smiled with happiness and hugged her tightly around the waist. Shepard returned the hug before she knocked her head against his gently, a familial sign of affection she’d learned.   
            “I have to go tell Chakwas, see if she even agrees.” sighed the Commander as she got him to let go and watched him jam his thumb against the call a nurse button. “See you soon.”

            “We could just take off without him?” offered Garrus as he walked next to Shepard and smirked at her.   
            She let out a laugh and looked at him, “It’s Nihlus, he’d hire another specter to kidnap me and make you all come back here and take him with us.” She smirked then, “Oh well, at least I could probably force all the paperwork off onto him. Shouldn’t be too stressful and then I only have to deal with my Alliance stuff.”   
            “Well, at least you’re finding use for him.” laughed Garrus. He followed her in “his spot” which had become more and more true. Even while helping out a few people on the citadel, he’d claimed this space, no matter who else had decided to tag along. He’d wedge himself in there not caring if it offended anyone.   
            “Don’t worry Vakarian, I’ll find good use for you too.” She smirked as she looked at him and typed in the information for a cab to the docking bay. “How do you feel about walking around behind me shirtless all the time? Maybe in a turian speedo?”   
            “Oh you’re so funny Shepard.” He sneered before chuckling under his breath and giving her a sweet smile. She returned it and shrugged with her arms going behind her back. He had to admit, he liked how she looked in full armor; the black plating doing wonders for her already deadly appeal.   
            “I know I am, but in all seriousness, I have a Mako you’re welcome to fuck up.” She smiled.   
            “Ouch, you know I do so much better work than that.” He groused.   
            “Do I? Do I really?” she asked with a sing song voice.   
            “You do, Stop It.” he snorted.   
            “Fine…” she sighed before smiling at him. Luckily he returned it before the cab came and he opened the door for her.   
            “Commander.” He smirked at her as he leaned in.   
            She merely laughed and smirked at him with a raised eyebrow before stepping into the cap. He huffed but followed.   
            “You can’t get away from me Shepard.” He snickered as the cab door closed and he turned on her, his hands grabbing her face and forcing her to meet his forehead.   
            “Insubordination!” cried Shepard as she playfully fought against him, her giggling getting the best of her however as she settled against him and pressed her head back to his. “You’re lucky you’re cute Vakarian.”  
            “I’ll count my blessings then.” He chuckled as he pulled away and sat back with his arm around her shoulders.   
            “Mmhmm, you’d better! Because once we set foot on that ship, you know that this becomes a thing of the past right? I won’t be able to run off with you and cozy up, no more hugging the human Commander in your sleep and complaining when said Commander has to get up to pee.” She told him firmly.   
            “What if I’m really sneaky about it? Make sure no one sees me?” he asked as he smiled at her, grinning mischievously in a way only a turian could.   
            “If you can get past Alenko? Sure.” She laughed before leaning into his side. Her face fell then, as did his.   
            “So… this ends huh?” he asked.   
            “I can’t see any other way…” she sadly spoke to him, her face turning up at him.   
            “I understand.” He told her softly, “I really do Shepard.”   
            “Thank you, if it’s any consolation, I wish it didn’t have to.” She said with a thick voice, her hand going to her face. Garrus watched with a chilling heart as the bright confident Shepard retreated back inwards and she fell into her other self; stressed beyond belief and not an ounce of happiness.   
            “It is, because I’m taking you out again, we’re gonna pick this thing back up as soon as we can. Okay?” he promised her, dying to see just one more spark of the Shepard he knew and had grown so attached to.   
            Shepard looked at him and gave a weak smile, that warm glow he had grown so used to was now gone however. He found himself cursing at regulations once again. All rules ever seemed to do was screw him over.   
            On the ride he sat with his arm around her, pulling her into his side for as long as he could, because once the door opened to the docking bay he knew it was over. The warm feelings, watching her shuffle about his apartment in his clothes with a forever full cup of kava. Sitting and watching movies and vids with her was gone. All the jokes, affection, comfort… it was all gone again.   
            He went back to Vakarian, no longer able to hear her purr his name or look at him with those big beautiful eyes. He knew he’d watch her go from relaxed and laughing to firm and angry again. All he could do however was stand back and watch, watch as Kaidan kept pursuing her while he had to keep a distance.   
            “Shepard… I.” he started but stopped as the cab landed and opened the door. She turned and looked at him, but he just shook his head. “We’ll get him.” was all he could bring himself to say.   
            She smiled weakly, “Yeah.” She sighed as she got up and walked. Everyone was already at the air lock doors ready to board. Stopping she turned and looked at him one last time. He looked at her… and felt his heart drop as he realized that the look was a kind of goodbye.   
            He stubbornly furrowed his brows, if he had a say in it, as soon as they could… he was going to take her back. If Nihlus could throw a fit and get his way, Garrus figured he could earn her back on his arm.


	31. Rejection doesn't have to hurt so much.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tali and Garrus finally talk. So do Shepard and Garrus.

            Garrus sighed as he looked up at the ceiling, he wasn’t in the mood for this, and he couldn’t handle yet another moment. “Tali, look…” he turned and took her elbow pulling her behind the Mako. She’d been spending all her free time with him, flirting, and acting cute. Which he appreciated that she liked him… however he was still very much into the Commander, thus he was pretty upset it had been nearly two weeks since they’d spoken even though he’d seen her come into the shuttle bay many times.   
            Tali looked surprised, but she followed him, and then stood with him behind the Mako that he was forever working on. “Is something wrong Garrus?” she asked curiously. Okay so she had to admit, she’d been laying it on thicker than she would have liked, but… Wrex had said he liked bold women. She wasn’t blind either; she’d seen how he and the Commander had been exchanging looks. Now the two looked at each other with longing glances but never got the chance to talk. She had hoped it would be a good time for Garrus to notice her… however; he didn’t seem all that interested.   
            “I’m sorry, I am very flattered that you find me…” he drifted off and rubbed his forehead before sighing, “Attractive.” He then looked at her softly. “You’re a very nice girl, and super talented and smart. However I’m just not… It’s not you, anyone should be happy to have your attention it’s just that I…” he ended up drifting off again; his face looking sadder than she had ever seen it.   
            Tali gave a soft smile and shrugged, “It’s okay Garrus, I understand. Thank you for behind honest and upfront with me about it.” she said sweetly. She’d expected him to keep ignoring her until she gave up, however she supposed he was too good a guy to do that. “Shepard?” she asked softly, so no one could hear but him.   
            Garrus looked at her before he just nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. “Before we left… that week of just, man am I a loser.” He laughed dryly.   
            “Why not anymore?” asked Tali.  
            “She’s the Commander, Anderson gave her this ship. She can’t be caught fooling around with someone and she I think thinks it’s unfair to me if we keep it secret.” He explained as he looked at his gloved hands and remembered the warm tingling he felt whenever she held his hands. “Plus Alenko, and every human on this ship would make it really difficult.”   
            “Speciesists…” sighed Tali as she crossed her arms. “Alenko doesn’t see that she’s just not interested? I mean, it’s kind of obvious.”   
            “They all think it’s just that she’s shy. Which she came be, especially when nervous.” He shrugged and leaned against the Mako. “She thinks he’s just fine as a guy, like he’s a good person she wouldn’t mind friends, just friends though.”   
            “He is very friendly and nice, but Shepard isn’t a woman who seems like she needs someone to hold her hand through everything and treat her like she’s delicate. I watched that woman drink him under the table. I thought he was just taking her to dinner that night?”  
            “He was supposed to… you saw what happened?” asked Garrus who was now curious, he never had asked Shepard.   
            “Yeah, after we got those sweets I went to find something to eat before them. I saw him and her in a bar. Shepard seemed bored out of her mind while he just talked away. Finally she suggested that they get a drink.” Tali told him before she laughed, “Four bottles of wine in and she wasn’t even affected. Kaidan however…” she giggled as she did an impersonation of him for Garrus.   
            Garrus raised an eyebrow plate before he laughed, “Yeah, she doesn’t drink. Mostly because of something with her where it takes a lot of alcohol to affect her, she’s different.”   
            “Kind of guessed that, I was there when she was fighting with that assassin remember?” she smiled. “Shepard is pretty cool, and I’m going to admit I’m a little jealous she got your attention and not me. But if anyone’s good enough to lose to it’s her.” she sighed. Her hand reached up and patted Garrus on the shoulder.   
            “Thank you Tali, for not… I never meant to give you the impression if I did.”   
            “You didn’t, you were always polite and friendly, but professional. I just liked your face.” she giggled.   
            Garrus smiled at her, “If someone ever hurts you, let me know, I’m a killer shot.”   
            “So I’ve heard. I will, thank you Garrus.” She grinned before moving to leave, but she stopped and turned back, “If you want to get her back, I could help.” She said honestly, “I mean, I ship her and you together more than I ever could her and Alenko. Shakarian over Shenko!” she whispered excitedly.   
            “What?” asked Garrus completely confused.   
            “Shakarian is Shepard and Vakarian combined, same with Shenko. I have a running bet with Sara down in engineering who she’ll pick, you could pay be back for the disappointment by letting me help you. You get the girl, I get two thousand credits!” she smiled. “Deal?”  
            “Why are you and the humans betting who Shepard will pick? What if she doesn’t pick anyone?” asked Garrus with a very confused look.   
            “Then Chief Engineer Adams wins.” shrugged Tali, “Did you know that with two thousand credits I can completely upgrade my suit? There are a few new features I want you know.”   
            Garrus leaned back and thought about it, it was tempting, however he sighed. “Thanks Tali, but I’ll do it on my own, wouldn’t mind a friend to sit with sometimes though.” He offered.   
            “Cheerleader! I can do that! I’ll make Wrex and Nihlus come too!” she smiled before hugging Garrus briefly and waving, “Good luck! We’re routing for you! I want the upgrades!”   
            Garrus watched her scurry off back into the Engineering deck and just ran a hand over his fringe, smiling to himself. He opened his omni-tool and began to send a message to Shepard.   
           

            _Meet tonight? I miss you… - G.V._

It took a few moments but he got a reply back.  
  
            _Is that a good idea? We’re not supposed to be meeting…-  E.V.S.  
            _

            Garrus flicked his mandibles, there were two ways to go with this, threaten a weakness or be completely honest.

            _Please don’t make me tell Nihlus and send a pic of me begging. – G.V._

            He sighed and waited.

            _Nice try, Nihlus knows, and I can just block your messages. – E.V.S._

Garrus had had a feeling that that wouldn’t work, Shepard wasn’t easily manipulated over text, and she was definitely smart enough to not answer him. She’d probably taken so long to answer him in the first place because she was nervous of what would happen.

            _I miss you, damn it Shepard… Come on, I know you’re not sleeping. Hell I’m not either, I miss your drooling on my shoulder. It’s just not the same waking up without you… no more zombie girlfriend in the mornings. – G.V._

_I never said I was your girlfriend Vakarian. - E.V.S._

_You didn’t have to, Shepard we were a thing and you know it. It may have been only part of a week together, but damn if it wasn’t the best week of my life. We didn’t even do anything but run around helping people, and lay around with food and cable tv. I still wouldn’t trade those memories for anything. – G.V._

_…What about Kaidan? – E.V.S._

_What about him? It’s not like you slept with him. – G.V._

Garrus waited for a moment, nothing came. That’s when he started to feel his chest tighten. One minute turned into five, which turns into fifteen.

            _Right? – G.V._

_No, but he keeps asking all the time for us to be alone together. I can’t take too much more and at this rate, I’m just ready to throw in all self-worth. I’m nothing more than a soldier and a piece of meat right? - E.V.S._

He stared at his omni-tool for a long time before he just closed his eyes and his ‘tool. One deep breath and he stood up straight, walking around the Mako and into the elevator. He hit the button for the next floor up, crew deck, and waited.


	32. Rest Order

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeah...

Once up he looked around, only seeing Chakwas in the Medical Bay with Nihlus, the two talking as usual. He then honed in on the spot near Shepard’s quarters. Alenko was right there, looking pleased with himself as he messed around with something.   
            Garrus walked right up to him, “Oh! Hi Garru-” he didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence as Garrus connected his fist with the human man’s jaw.   
            “Don’t ever push yourself on Shepard again. You hear me?” hissed Garrus as he lifted Kaidan by the front of his shirt. Kaidan wasn’t a short man, but then again almost all humans were short compared to a turian.   
            “I didn’t!” snapped Kaidan as he shoved Garrus back with a biotic pulse.    
            “How many times have you asked!?” asked Garrus as he rolled back onto his feet and took a stance, watching Kaidan with his hands glowing.   
            “That’s none of your damn business Garrus!”   
            “Like Hell it’s not!”   
            “It isn’t! What Shepard and I do in our private time is none of your concern!”   
            “You don’t have Private time! You just keep throwing yourself at her despite her very obvious rejections! Why? Because the stupid humans on this ship have warped your mind into confusing rejection with playing hard to get?!” snarled Garrus as he tried to dart around but got picked up by Kaidan’s throw and sent back into the wall with a hard crash.   
            Shepard came out of her quarters looking like death, angry death. “Care to explain to me what’s goin-” she moved at the wrong time and was hit by Kaidan’s reave.   
            Garrus watched in horror as Shepard held her head and snarled, Kaidan looked just as shocked, having not meant to hit the Commander with it. She fell to her knees panting, and Garrus slid to her side, not caring who was looking as he held her shoulders. Shepard was panting, her eyes large and wide, and the pupils shaking again. Garrus held his breath and readied himself for whatever attack Kaidan’s error was going to bring out of their unstable leader.   
            Shepard grabbed Garrus’ forearms and held them tightly, so tight her hands were white from lack of blood and in a matter of seconds his gauntlets shattered under her strength. He hissed in pain but clenched his jaw and held her shoulders tighter.   
            “Shepard…” winced Garrus as he felt her nails digging into his under-suit now; soon they’d go right through and hit plate. She looked up, eyes glowing and her left pupil nothing more than a slit, the right was still fighting. He grunted as he felt his right arm snap under the pressure but held eye contact.   
            She was going to kill him, he had that thought the moment her eyes went to his arm and then she looked back, her grip only getting harder. He chuffed once, trying to get through, instantly she stopped. The sound coming through her fogged angry mind like a ray of light in the dark; it took only a few short moments before her eyes went back to normal, no longer brilliant tangerine, back to the soft brown ones Garrus found he had missed more than he remembered.   
            “Garrus?” she asked as she looked up to see Kaidan looking near horrified and Chakwas holding a tranquilizer, Nihlus holding her back as he leaned on his cane. Ashley was at the entrance of the medical bay just watching with a shocked expression.   
            “Oh god…” she whispered as she looked down at the blue blood on her hand and then at Garrus who flicked his mandible at her and gave a small purr. “Oh my god… I’m so sorry.” She panted as she quickly let go only to jump at Garrus’ growl of pain.   
            “It’s okay Shepard, you just reacted to that misplaced attack.” Said Garrus as he pulled his arm to him and used his good one to hold her elbow. “It’s okay, a broken arm never killed anyone. It’s just fine.” He tried to soothe.   
            Shepard shook her head and held her face, her eyes already streaming tears as she tried to hold them back. Looking at Garrus she choked on a sob and tried to pull away. He just yanked her forward and hugged her, not giving a damn who saw. “It’s okay, Chakwas can fix this right up. Right?” he asked looking over his shoulder at Chakwas, who straightened.   
            “Of course, um… please come into the medical bay, all of you.” She said in her “don’t argue I’m older than all of you” voice.   
            Garrus stood, Shepard coming with him without a fight as she made a high pitched purring in her throat and kept shaking her head. He returned the purr, his own low in pitch and comforting. He did admit, he found it funny he was comforting her when it was his arm that got injured.

            “Okay, so what the fuck was that Commander?” asked Ashley as the medical bay doors closed. “Why the fuck is our resident space bird engaging in a fight with Kaidan and why the hell did you break his arm?!” she demanded.   
            Shepard just looked at her feet, looking smaller and more tired than anyone had ever seen her. Ashley instantly regretted sounding so angry and walked over. “Oh Skipper, I’m sorry I didn’t mean…” she hugged her friend. Despite Ashley disliking the fact that Shepard didn’t seem to like Kaidan as much as she did Garrus, Ashley knew that Shepard opened up to her just a little.   
            Shepard just stood there, tears falling down her hollow cheeks as she punished herself internally. Ashley hugged her tighter, looking at Nihlus who got up and wrapped herself around the other side. Despite Ashley not being big on Aliens, she got along very well with Wrex and even Nihlus now. Who she had been coming to ask what color paint he thought looked better on the weapon she was constructing.   
            “Echo, it’s okay. No one is seriously hurt; Garrus can take a broken arm no problem. Did you know I heard he once spent the night with Chellick? Imagine that.” Whispered Nihlus none too quietly.   
            Ashley had to turn her head to hide her chuckling before she looked at Garrus with raised eyebrows. He frowned at them both, “I did no such thing, and I’m not interested in men, _like someone else I know._ ” He growled at Nihlus who rounded on him.   
            Kaidan was silent, just standing well away from Shepard, he’d now seen her do that twice, and he had a feeling both times were because of him now, not just this once. “I’m sorry Shepard, I never meant to hit you with that.”  
            “You shouldn’t be hitting anyone with anything on my ship.” She growled as she looked at him, her eyes lighting up ever so slightly. Nihlus just covered them and sighed.   
            “Okay, this isn’t a Turian vessel, we’re not going to be sparing unfairly here are we?” he asked looking at everyone. Standing straight he then looked at Ashley, “Please go down and make sure everyone’s armor and weapons are good to go Williams?” he asked  
            Ashley looked at him, “Sure, why did that intel finally come in?”   
            “Bingo, so sharp.” He laughed before looking at Kaidan, “You, go tell joker that that information I gave him is good to go. Then you are restricted to crew quarters until I say otherwise. I am going to be taking over for a few hours so our dear Commander can rest.” He ordered. Nihlus obviously wasn’t happy with Kaidan.   
            The human male nodded and saluted Nihlus without question; he figured Shepard would have spoken up if she didn’t agree. With a running start he bolted from the medical bay, eager to get out of there.

            “You’re good to go Garrus, you can go back out into whatever fray they have planned in two days. I suggest resting however.” said Chakwas with a small smile. Garrus had to be the calmest patient she had ever had.   
            “Thank you. Is there anything I can do… for…” he drifted and looked at Shepard who was staring off into space.   
            “She needs to actually sleep. She tends to take everything and internalize it. Anderson getting into trouble and everything with all this has been really weighing on her. She is someone who uses physical exertion to clear herself mentally.” Shrugged Chakwas. “I don’t know if anything but rough physical activity could help right now besides sleep.”  
            Nihlus was trying to hide his laughter as Garrus sat there in complete shock. Chakwas looked confused for a moment before she laughed, “If she agrees to it I wouldn’t be against it, however watch the arm.” She chuckled before patting Garrus’ shoulder.   
            “Umm…” Garrus couldn’t even focus; he was so embarrassed at the moment. Of course his mind would go right to _there_ and not to sparing or something. Then again he shouldn’t be all that surprised. He missed the feeling of her close to him as they slept, like they had that final night in his apartment.   
            “How about you and her just try to chill with a vid? Maybe kill two birds with one stone? Both of you can sleep it off.” laughed Nihlus as he grabbed his cane and tried to Usher Shepard back to her quarters.   
            Shepard jumped as he almost fell and straightened him, “No! Nihlus, just stay here and rest okay. Don’t exert yourself.” She demanded.   
            “Neither should you, no go sleep with the baby bird and relax.” He jutted his chin at Garrus who looked at him completely shocked, his subharmonics buzzing with humiliation. Shepard groaned and covered her ears, looking at Garrus angrily.   
            “Vakarian! My quarters! Now!” she ordered as she stormed back into her room.   
            “I’m dead; she’s going to crush my head next.”   
            “Kinky.” chuckled Nihlus as he sat back down in his chair.   
            Garrus turned and looked at him, mouth agape. Before sighing and just going after Shepard, maybe the spirits would bless him and he wouldn’t end up dead.


	33. I Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ugh... feels, all the feels...

            Shepard stormed into her room and kicked at the table and chairs angrily. When Garrus walked in she stormed up to him and looked like she wanted to hit him, before she just snarled and pointed to her bed. He made a submissive cirp at her and did so, sitting at the foot and looking at her a little nervously.  
            “What part of ‘this is over’ do you not understand?” she snarled as she paced angrily. Her hair was standing on end, her eyes glowing, however any further into the other side of her was not about to happen. “Speak!” she ordered.  
            “All of it!” he snapped back at her as he stood. “Every fucking word Shepard! We had a good thing starting. You were happy, and bright, and comfortable. We had fun and laughed and I just… I loved…” he drifted off before sighing, “I loved every moment of it. Every time you woke up and begged for more kava with that cute voice and nearly incoherent words.” He looked at her sadly. “Don’t you miss it?”  
            Shepard had started out angry, but she quickly deflated as he spoke; now looking very hollow and sad. “Yes…” she told him honestly, “… every moment of every day. I miss it.” she admitted. She hugged herself and sighed, fighting back more tears. “I miss waking up with a giant man-child hugging me. I miss running around your furniture. I miss meals together; I miss feeling like time wasn’t a thing. I miss being able to feel like we’d known each other our entire lives, and not just under a month.”  
            Garrus trilled at her and took a confident step forward. “Then why are you pushing me away? And don’t give me any of that swill about how it’s not fair to me. I decide what’s fair to me, and I also decide what’s fair to you since you can’t!” she glared at him and he met hers with one of his own. “You just messaged me, implying that you were going to let him have you. Because you’re so tired of all of it? Or because you’re still trying to make everyone happy and not caring that it’s killing you? Thus, killing me.”  
            “Vakari-” she started but he interrupted her.  
            “That’s not what you call me when we’re alone…” he got close, his face mere inches from hers. “Say it.”  
            “No.”  
            “Why?”  
            “Because.”  
            “Don’t start that shit. Say. It.”  
            Shepard looked away from him stubbornly; he however took her hand and laced their fingers together. “Say it before I have to.”  
            “No.” she was sticking to her guns.  
            “Fine.” Sighed Garrus as he let go of her hand and looked at his feet. “So what? You’re Commander? I’m Vakarian? None of those sweet words and memories that made me feel warm inside are real anymore. You just used me?”  
            Shepard looked at him shocked, her face reading all of how that wasn’t true, but she closed her mouth and looked at her feet. “Yes, I used you…”  
            Garrus caught the look, “Why?”  
            Shepard bit her cheek and cracked her fingers; she was nervous, unable to say anything to that. She hadn’t used him; it’d all been just as real for her as it had apparently been for him. However, she had to do this, for Nihlus, to keep whatever major thing Saren was bringing to them at bay for as long as she could. She knew she wouldn’t be able to keep it up as soon as she looked at him, damn him and those eyes… ever since she’d first seen them they had a power over her that she couldn’t explain.  
            “Shepard…” he breathed at her softly and ran his hand up her arm, “… why did you use me?” he asked.  
            “I…” she started but failed, she was never that good a liar when she was supposed to do it to someone she cared for.  
             Garrus tested danger and caressed her face, “You didn’t did you?” he asked as he brought his forehead down and nuzzled her.  
            She couldn’t hold it in anymore as he touched his head to hers. The sentimental meaning more than enough to make her break, “No!” she sobbed and held her face. “No, I really care about you. I don’t know why, I hate not knowing! Why did I near instantly care so much about you when Kaidan has done nothing but be kind to me? Why?! Why?! It doesn’t make sense!” she wailed.  
            “Do you want to be with Kaidan?” asked Garrus as he rested the bridge of his nose against hers and held both her hands in his one good one. “Just say the word and I’ll back off.”  
            Shepard shook her head furiously, “That’s the point, there’s nothing for him! Nothing! By all logic there should be! He’s an attractive human male who shows active interest in me! So… why am I falling for a turian cop with the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen and a personality that makes me want to scream and purr?!”  
            Garrus chuffed at her and used his good arm to pull her in close, keeping his face against hers. “First off, humans shouldn’t purr or hear subharmonics. You do though. Secondly, Kaidan doesn’t know how to read you. He thinks you need someone to rush in at every complication. He thinks whenever you start to shake in front of danger it’s fear…” he took a breath and hugged her tightly, “… It’s anticipation. You didn’t get to where you are by being scared; you’re a warrior Shepard, just like Wrex says.”  
            Shepard found the horrible feelings melting and flowing off her as he spoke to her, holding her tightly and with his face against hers. Why was it so calming? How come only Garrus Vakarian, the trigger happy rent-a-cop fledgling, was the only one who could ignite the fire inside her? “I’m a freak huh?”  
            “No, you’re the most amazing, and beautiful thing I could have ever dreamed of meeting. Maybe others can’t appreciate it, but damn Shepard; you’re some type of woman. I could never hope for someone better to look up to and to care about than you.” He sighed contently as he held her, the warm feeling he’d had all that time together returning to him. “I’ll become a man worth having you, I’m not going to constantly throw myself at you and hope for the best.”  
            “You’re a good man…” she muttered as she nuzzled against him.  
            He smirked, “Not good enough yet, I will be though. I swear.” Slowly he moved and opened his eyes, looking at her. She sensed it and looked at him. “I promise.” With that he leaned down and nipped at her lower lip. Shepard felt her heart stop as he did that, she wanted to return it but he stepped away. Softly she looked at him as he gave her one of his classic smiles and left her room. Shepard hugged herself, the warm feeling not leaving her like it should have been as soon as he wasn’t near her, she grinned while flushing and started crying. Someone, finally someone cared about her in such a sense to want to be her equal.  
            She’d never had that before, someone wanting to stand next to her and take every step of whatever came her way with her. She began laughing and held her face the giddy feeling not leaving, and with that that inner fire she’d needed had finally been kindled… and wasn’t going out anytime soon.


	34. Welcome back Sheepurd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> floof

            Ashley smiled as she watched Shepard. Okay, so maybe Garrus wasn’t the one she would have originally thought to help Shepard come into her own. However she’d been wrong before and would probably be again. She’d never seen Shepard stand tall, and not look angry. The woman was an imposing figure when she looked angry, but she commanded a whole new type of respect when she was calm and standing straight.  
            “Shepard. This is Admiral Hackett from Alliance Command.” said the voice that came through the com, “We’ve got a situation here, and you’re the only one who can handle it.”  
            “And how may I help you Admiral?” asked Shepard as she spoke clearly, her tone gentle and welcoming. Ashley was standing in the doorway, watching with Kate from navigation.  
            “Oh my goodness, look at her! I don’t think I’ve ever seen the Commander look normal.” whispered Kate with a girlish giggle.  
            “I know! Damn if whatever that space bird said to her didn’t do it.” she smiled, “We’ll have to get him something, I think I may like it better now if she picked Vakarian. At least they seem to be able to communicate.” She smiled.  
            “Ew! No way, besides, Kaidan’s dreamy. Vakarian is all like… alien like. How are you ever supposed to be intimate with that?” said Kate as she made a grossed-out face.  
            “It’s not always how someone looks Kate! Besides, if anyone could figure it out it’s Shepard.” She smiled before both girls were noticed and they ran away. Shepard smiled gently before she turned back to the com.  
            “Sorry for the interruption Admiral, My crew is still getting used to being without Anderson.”  
            “As long as they aren’t causing trouble Commander, though with your record I think you could handle just about anything thrown at you.” Hackett smirked, “As for what I need, there’s an Alliance training ground where we test weapons and technology in live-fire simulations.” He stopped to take a breath, “One of the VI’s we use to simulate enemy tactics in the drills is no longer responding to our override commands, it’s gone rogue.”  
            “Wait… so… It’s doing things on it’s own? Like it’s thinking and planning? Like it’s an AI instead of a VI?” asked Shepard with her eyebrows rising and her arms crossing.  
            “We’re not stupid Shepard.” sighed Hackett on the other end, “This is virtual intelligence, not a true AI. It’s not self-aware and it’s can’t access any external systems. We didn’t do anything illegal here. Virtual intelligence support is critical to our military success. VI’s process thousands of status reports and respond in nanoseconds. No human can do that.”  
            Shepard laughed dryly, “Okay, well what would you need me to do?”  
            “We need you to fight your way through the training ground to the VI core. Manually disable it from there.”  
            “Sure, shouldn’t be a problem, and I have just the pair to take with me to explode some machines.” She smiled before saying her goodbyes and ending the call. Silently she looked at the time on her omni-tool and smiled to herself. “Just a little longer.” She whispered.

            Shepard was brighter, standing taller. She no longer had any problems shoving paperwork onto Pressley or Nihlus, the latter willing to help more than the former of course. She was making her way around the ship, conversing, she often spent spare time with Joker in the cockpit now, the two just laughing at the most absurd shit they could come up with or looking at stars. Real friends, Shepard was expanding further into the realms of being normal.  
            She and Ashley would sit together at meals and talk about girls things, Tali had moved into joining in on that, the three laughing together. Kaidan’s flirtatious manner seemed to bounce right off her more and more as time passed.  
            Nihlus and Shepard spent a lot of time together, chatting and acting as if they were family, which they kind of were; Nihlus often referred to her as his “mini me” if only because he was the one who recruited her as a specter. At times they sat alone, in her room and just talked, Shepard would talk about how she wished things could just go easier, he would talk about Saren, how he missed his mate. They’d fall asleep facing each other sometimes Nihlus holding Shepard tightly and she rubbing his beck, he obviously was still so upset about his lover.  
            Wrex was a whole different thing, Shepard and him had started having a “workout” which sounded shady in name, however once anyone witnessed it… they were just as shocked but in a different way. Shepard and Wrex would spar, five feet ten inches of human female versus six foot eight of old ad dirt Krogan. Shepard usually won, because she was more versatile and tenacious. Wrex also ran out of breath a lot, considering he couldn’t keep up with her constant changes in fighting style and adaptation to whatever he pulled at her.  
            Garrus? It would appear that he and Shepard only talked about the Mako, however, late night, when the rest of the crew was either entranced in their late night work or asleep, Shepard would sneak into the shuttle bay. Garrus would be waiting there for her, she’d run up to him and their heads would touch before he’d open the Mako door and she’d get inside, he following.

            “Fuck, I missed you Shepard.” sighed Garrus as he held Shepard’s face to his.  
            Shepard made a small happy noise before her hands went to the clasps of his armor, popping them. “I missed you too. Ugh, remind me again why we’re sneaking around?”  
            “I have no idea, your rule not mine” he breathed as he shucked off his armor and unzipped his under suit. The feeling of her hands helping him peel off the top from his torso making him give her a low rumble.  
            Shepard undid her pants and giggled as he hooked his fingers in them and yanked them off her, taking her boots with them. “Ooh, hello lovelies.” He joked as he ran his hands up her thighs and leaned in to nuzzle her.  
            “Garbus!” warbled Shepard as he laid on the affection and she started laughing. He chuckled under his breath and rested his head on her chest.  
            “Do you know how frustrating it is to not be able to have sex?” he asked.  
            “Is it more or less frustrating than having Wrex laugh at us every time the Mako’s door open and him booming to everyone we finally fucked?” she asked  
            “Point made, never mind, I can wait for shore leave.” He smirked while he undid the rest of his armor and stacked it in the front seat. Finally down to just his under armor he relaxed and watched as Shepard dug under the seat for their secret stash.  
            “Mmhmm, what makes you think you’re going to get any on shore leave? What makes you think I’m giving any of you shore leave?!” she asked with a wicked grin.  
            “You have to give us shore leave, you’re not that cruel. Also, on shore leave you’re not Commander Shepard, you’re the pretty Sheepurd who wants to roll around with her turian boyfriend.” He purred at her.  
            “I can roll around with you now, there’s a mat out there, wanna have a go?”  
            “No, I remember what you did to my arm. I’m good thanks.” He smiled as she found the blanket and tossed it to him.  
            “Have you been storing snacks in here again?” She asked as she pulled out a box of what looked like some funny crackers.  
            “Look, Tali will eat them all if I don’t hide them, besides, those are for us. You can only eat dextro stuff with me.” He complained as he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her against him. Shepard giggled as she held the pillow for his head up.  
            “Thank you for not telling anyone I can actually digest it.” she said sweetly and kissed his cheek. He smiled and nuzzled her nose.  
            “No problem, Thank you for not telling anyone that we run off every night to catch four hours of sleep together before you leave me. All alone, sad, to wake up by myself with only the scent of my Sheepurd to comfort me.”  
            “Oh, stahp it Garbus.” she laughed while sliding down on the seat to lay with him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly to him.  
            “Never, only way I can sleep is with you snoring and drooling all over me.” He joked, she thumped his chest and snuggled into him.  
            “Go to bed, fledgling.”  
            “Goodnight… Jaguar.”  
            “It’s ‘cougar’ smart one, and I’m only three years older than you. Now shut up and sleep.”  
            “Yes Ma’am.” He laughed as he settled, making sure she was tightly pulled against him. Shepard tucked her head under his chin and settled in, asleep in a few moments. She was obviously tired, probably more than he was. Understandable, considering she ran around constantly while he basically just stared at a screen all day. He sighed as he rested his mandible against her forehead and took the last few moments before sleep took him to enjoy the warmth. 


	35. Kill me...

            “Kill me…” groaned Shepard as she shuffled from her room and into the mess. Her hair standing on end and completely messed up, wearing a pair of long black sweats and thick socks with her t-shirt from yesterday, she was not what anyone would call well rested and beautiful at the moment.   
            “Awww! Skipper you have a bad night?” asked Ashley looking bright and chipper as she sipped at a cup of milk substitute, a whole lot of sugar syrup in it too. She was dressed for duty aside from her hair hanging around her shoulders.   
            Tali walked over and hugged Ashley from the side, “Kee’lah, so tired… ship is too quiet.” She whined as Ashley put her arm around the female alien and laughed, “And here I thought you were a good sport in the morning Tali!” Tali just whined and hugged Ashley tighter.   
            “Good morning Commander! How are you doing this morning?! Do you want some Coffee!? I make a good cup of coffee!” chittered Kaidan as he poured himself his third cup in ten minutes.   
            “Fucking biotic pyjack… shut up.” groaned Wrex as he shuffled into the mess and opened one of the fridges, “Need… food…” he whined in his own way.   
            “Kaidan… too early…” whined Shepard as she sat at the table and slammed her head down onto it, “Ow” she whimpered.   
            “Shut up! Bosh’tet!” hissed Tali as she looked up from Ashley’s shoulder and looked at Kaidan, she had to have been wearing a look that was fairly scary because he instantly went quiet. “Sorry Tali!” he then said quickly before sipping at his drink.  
            “Don’t make me shoot you Alenko, I may be injured but I can still hold a gun.” snipped Nihlus as he shuffled out of Shepard’s room and headed right for the bathroom, “Spirits I wish someone would cook a good dextro meal.”   
            “Don’t we all wish for a good meal!” called Shepard, unmoving from her position at the table. “And stop picking on Kaidan everyone; he can’t help it if he’s more cranked than a squirrel on red sand.”   
            “I am not that hyper.” defended Kaidan before he noticed his hand was shaking and he put down the cup in his hands. “Okay, I need to get off the caffine.”   
            “You don’t say?” asked Ashley as she patted Tali’s back and got her to let go so Ashley could go and sit with Shepard. “What do you have in the morning Shepard?”   
            “A bullet to the head, side of cutting out my own heart and biting into it while it’s still bleeding.” grunted Shepard darkly. Ashley made a face and just patted her back.   
            “Don’t be dramatic Shepard.” Smirked Garrus as he out of the elevator and came around into view. “Want me to get you anything?”   
            “You know what I want and I demand that you give it to me now!” groaned Shepard as she lifted her head and squinted at him. Garrus raised a brow plate and chuckled under his breath.   
            “Do I now?” he asked.   
            “You do.”  
            “Positive?”   
            “I will send you out the airlock Vakarian, give it to me! Strong! Creamy! You know _exactly_ how I like it!” she shouted. Garrus turned from her and kept laughing before Shepard sat straight and realized just exactly how that sounded.   
            “Okay…” said Kaidan incredibly weirded out. He and the rest of the crew in the mess had caught onto it before Shepard did.   
            “Never would have picked you for a bareback girl Echo” said Nihlus as he walked back into the mess slowly, “Well Garrus, Get to it, Strip! She wants it strong and creamy.”   
            Tali was now wide awake and watching, “Yes….” She whispered under her breath while Ashley looked at her disgusted.   
            “Can we not do this in the morning?” asked Shepard as her head fell to the table and she began banging it hard.   
            Ashley dove and slid her hand under to catch the Commander’s head before she could do serious damage. “Okay! Cease fire! Let’s just pretend this sexual, whatever it’s been hasn’t been as disgusting as it feels?” she looked around, “Yeah?”  
            “Fine…” sighed Nihlus as he pouted and sat on the other side of Shepard. “Me too Garrus, though I’d like it not so strong, and not creamy.”   
            Garrus wore a smirk, though his neck was visibly more blue, “Oh Nihlus, I think I can guess the only one who can give it to you strong and creamy.”   
            “Vakarian I will shoot you!”  
            “Do it Nihlus, see how much that makes the commander happy.”   
            “I will! Shepard look away, I have to shoot him.”  
            Shepard punched him in the side lightly and he squawked, his head hitting the table and him keening slightly. “Cruel… hurting an invalid.” He strained.   
            Shepard then looked up at Garrus and gave him a pleading look. He laughed before simply turning and making them all kava. She on the other hand sat back in her chair. “Joker? You listening?”   
            “Always.” chimed in their pilot on the com. “Gotta keep up my information bank.”  
            “Ahha, we gonna be to Therum soon?” she asked.   
            “About three hours Commander. Anything else?”   
            “Nah, Once we’re groundside try and get some shut eye okay?”   
            “Aye Aye Commander.”  
            Shepard smiled softly then as she roller her neck, “Okay, We’re going after Dr. Liara T’Soni guys, I need two volunteers. Who wants to go shoot things with me?”   
            “Right behind you Shepard.” smiled Garrus as he put a large hot cup of kava in front of her, just how she liked it. He then gave Nihlus his cup before he sat down across from Shepard and leaned back, his eyes looking at her from over the mug.   
            “Okay, Garrus and… anyone? No one jump to spend time with me or anything.” She pouted, a little hurt.   
            “It’s nothing against you Skipper, I’m just kinda tired, and been working on this new gun.” explained Ashley.   
            “I… Don’t really want to leave Engineering…” shrugged Tali sheepishly.   
            “I just don’t wanna go.” shrugged Wrex shamelessly.   
            “You know I would go with you Shepard, but I still have a healing chest wound.” Sighed Nihlus as he knocked his head against her gently and briefly.   
            “I would go, but Nihlus put me on house arrest.” said Kaidan sadly, “I’m sorry Shepard, he’s kind of your other X.O.”  
            “You can come Kaidan, I overrule him.” she smiled softly, “Thank you, Garrus, Kaidan, for being good FRIENDS!” she said loudly looking at the other three who each reacted differently. Ashley gave her a weak smile and shrugged, before Tali just gave her a strong of apologies. Wrex however just lifted the giant MRE he was eating and laughed.   
            “Ugh…” sighed Nihlus before he looked at Garrus who had all sorts of feeling on his subvocals, however jealousy was the strongest.   
            “I’m going to need a mod or something to get that tuned out of my ear, you guys can’t control it and I don’t understand it.” huffed Shepard as she drank her kava and looked very pleased.   
            Garrus met Nihlus’ gaze, looking completely cool and calm, however he was livid on the inside, especially as to what had just happened a while ago. He would have preferred it was just him and her, however that was stupid. Anyone but Kaidan however was just fine, Garrus was trying to get over the fact someone was pretty much moving in on his turf… but it was a little hard. Being a territorial species and all.


	36. Therum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for no updates in a bit, i haven't been feeling well and thus unable to bring myself to write. I'm trying to push through it, but Headaches aren't fun.

            Shepard ran a gloved hand through her hair as she stood by the Mako, she was nervous, for good reason. This was her first groundside mission since becoming a specter and even more so, she had unknowingly picked probably the two worst people to mix together to come with her. At the time she was just trying to not have to pull “The Commander” card and make someone go. Now, she realized that having Garrus and Kaidan probably wasn’t the best idea when it came to coming with her.   
            Garrus slinked up beside her on the other side of the Mako, out of sight from everyone. “Shepard.” He whispered.   
            “Hi…” she greeted as she looked sadly at her feet. She opened her mouth to speak but he took her hand and just shook his head, giving her a soft look. He understood, and he wasn’t mad at her for it. However, if Kaidan pulled anything he couldn’t guarantee that the guy wouldn’t get a bullet between the eyes. Slowly, he leaned down and pressed his head to hers; chuckling at the contented sigh Shepard gave him.   
            “Don’t worry so much.” he told her gently, “Everything is going to be fine. You got me on your six.”   
            A sweet smile came across her features as she looked up at him. He grinned back down at her, his head tilting slightly as he lifted a hand and tucked a little strand of hair behind her ear. While it kind of sucked having to hide for the most part, he wouldn’t want to end it just because. He liked being with Shepard, all the warm and sweet moments made him happier than he would have thought they would. Truthfully if he would have had it his way, by now he would have slept with her a zillion times. She was worth the wait however.

            Shepard, she could honestly say that she could do a lot of things. She wasn’t an untalented individual. Driving? That was another story completely.   
            “SHEEEPPPPPPAAAAAARRRRDDDDDDDD!” screeched Garrus as she sent them flying over a stream of lava and landed with a hard “thunk”.   
            Kaidan was holding onto the back of Garrus’ seat for dear life. He wasn’t screaming, but he did look that like any sort of wrong move and he was going to pass out. Garrus was the one screaming, grabbing the wheel, shrieking, and all the while trying to man the gun on the vehicle.   
            “OH COME ON I’M NOT THAT BAD!” cried Shepard as Garrus grabbed the wheel and turned it towards him to avoid making a head on collision into some sort of silo.   
            “SHEPARD WATCH WHERE WE’RE GOING!” he screamed at her as he let go a missile at the Geth that were attacking them and trying to pay attention. “NO NO NO NO!” he cried as she ran right over a large white Geth.   
            “OH BE QUIET GARRUS IT’S NOT THAT BAD!”   
            “YOU’RE NOT THE ONE WHO HAS TO REPAIR THIS!”  
            “YOU DON’T HAVE TO EITHER!”  
            “WATCH THE PATH!” he cried again as she barely missed landing them all into lava and ending their incredibly short lives.   
            Shepard finally stopped and looked at him, “Do you want to drive?” she asked.   
            “YES!” snapped Garrus as he opened his door and got out.   
            “Wait! No! Garrus!” cried Shepard as he came around and opened her side of the Mako, Snatching her he threw his secret girlfriend over his shoulder and went back over to the passenger side of the Mako. Tossing her in unceremoniously before he crossed back over and got into the driver’s seat.   
            “Shepard! I am not dying because you can’t drive!” he snapped before locking the doors and then revving the engine and looking at the meters.   
            “I’m not that bad!”  
            “Oh trust me! You’re bad!”   
            “Gaaaarrrrbbbbuuuusssss…” whined Shepard, trying another tactic.   
            “Sheeeeeppppppuuuurrrrrrrrdddd.” replied Garrus as he took off, the ride being much smoother now. It would never be, “smooth” but at least he could avoid the lava and Kaidan found he could lie down in the back of the Mako and nurse his migraine properly.   
            “Shepard, you’re amazing and all… but Garrus beats you at driving hands down.” He groaned as he hiccupped and punched his chest, trying to force back down his breakfast.   
            “Hmmph” pouted the woman as she took her frustration out with the gun on more Geth. At least they couldn’t complain about her shooting, she wasn’t bat at that at least. “See how you all like it when I dock your pay for insubordination.”   
            “I’ll just take my payment elsewhere.” shrugged Garrus as he hit the gas and got them past more geth without having to take damage.   
            “Oh?” asked Shepard as she looked away from her screen.   
            “Mmhmm.” He smirked as he looked sideways at her.   
            “Okay…” sighed Kaidan as he tried to ignore what was going on. It wasn’t comfortable when everyone knew he had a thing for Shepard and would honestly like to date her. However he had the suspicion that Garrus probably felt the same way.   
            “Don’t mind him Kaidan, he’s just a little delusional, must’ve hit his head along the bumpy ride.” she snorted as Garrus raised a brow plate and looked at her sideways. He didn’t particularly have any intentions of pushing his luck with Shepard in that department, but he did like the idea of her and him… “exchanging payments” sometime soon.   
            “Yeah, okay Shepard.” Said the human male as he sat back and held his head, nursing the headache he had from Shepard’s driving. He had to admit, she was talented in many ways… driving wasn’t one of them.

            “Garrus…”  
            “Yes Shepard?”  
            “You can get the mako through that…”   
            “How so?”  
            “On her side…”   
            “Well, if you say so…” shrugged Garrus as they sat in front of a small opeing leading up a hill to the ruins where they were told Dr. T’Soni would be. The turian backed up and then took a deep breath, “Deep breaths everyone.” He said before slamming down on the gas and pulling some fancy work with the controls, steering, and thrusters.   
            “Told you.” Smiled Shepard as she looked at him and he sat, slightly amazed that he’d managed to do it. “Now we can just pull up to the ruins.” She grinned widely. Any excuse to not get shot at and Shepard was all over it.   
            Garrus just gave one breathy laugh at before shaking his head, “Shepard, you’re crazy.”  
            “Only a little.” She hummed happily.   
            “Still crazy.” chimed in Kaidan good naturedly. Garrus said nothing, but he had the strong urge to jerk his elbow back and knock out the man.   
            Shepard just smiled; she had no idea what to say. While she wanted to be completely loose and comfortable around Garrus, that was impossible with Kaidan there.   
            The Geth really stood no chance against Shepard on the gun; she was at a very low level of patience for them already. Thus, the threat was obliterated in record timing. Pulling up in front of the ramp into the ruins, Shepard stepped out and looked at the doors, the hair on the back of her neck rising.   
            “We’ll all be fine.” Garrus told her softly as he came around and looked at her softly; his hand holding his sniper as he followed her gaze to the doors. “Right behind you.”   
            She just smiled gently and nodded, her hand going for her shotgun before she took a deep breath. One foot in front of the other, right?


	37. Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cue the drama

            She never liked the feeling of mine air. It seemed thicker, heavier, like it coated the inside of her lungs and made it all the harder to breathe. However, that was what was required of her this time, in order to find Dr. T’Soni. Shepard ran point, her pistol up and at the ready. It was a little odd to watch her go from nervous, bumbling, a little dweeby… to someone who was nearly stalking through the Mine and soundlessly down the stairs.   
            Kaidan didn’t know how she was doing it, her steps almost completely silent down the metal stairs. Even Garrus, evolved from a predator, was making more noise than her. Kaidan envied Shepard’s abilities to shift from someone who such a sweet heart to a soldier to the core. However, after what he’d seen in the mess, when Garrus had gotten his arm injured… He was a little nervous that there was more to Shepard than he could guess.  
            He was on the rear, his scope up as he searched from behind into the dark for the smallest sign of life. The fact that lights were flickering all over and around them wasn’t helping the fact that visibility was in the lower end of the scale. Inhaling through his mouth he let the stagnant air around him move through his teeth. “Shepard, Blood.” He whispered into his com as he pressed his finger into his com.   
            Kaidan looked curious, “How do yo-”  
            “I know, Human mostly, a couple Asari… maybe Salarian.” whispered Shepard back as she looked at Kaidan and motioned for him to stay back and wait for Garrus. Probably not the wisest Decision, but with what she was about to do she didn’t want anyone seeing.   
            Kaidan didn’t argue; he just gave an uneasy look with a nod. Reaching up behind his ear he checked the Bio-Amp and made sure it was ready. Closed spaces made him nervous, and he just wanted to be sure that he was prepared for anything that could be thrown at them. Quietly, he sat down behind a rock ledge and waited for Garrus to catch up to them, he wasn’t that far behind, maybe a minute or two.   
            The turian caught up, “Where’s Shepard?” he asked quietly.   
            “She ordered us to stay here, went ahead. She’ll give the word when she wants us to come.” He shrugged as he focused on breathing and ran a hand through his short hair. “She does this a lot; sometimes she goes off and scouts ahead alone.”   
            Garrus made a curious noise before he then shifted on his feet. It was a little more than awkward between them, as friendly as Kaidan was being… Garrus could easily tell he was just as uncomfortable.

            “Do you like her?” asked Kaidan after a few long, silent moments. His head then turned and he looked up at Garrus, who had whipped his head to look at him, a glare and flame held in his blue eyes, mandibles pulled tightly to his face.   
            “Does it matter if I do?” he asked. His tone was short.   
            Kaidan huffed, “Of course it does. She’s a human, what are you going to be able to give her?” he stood then and looked at Garrus, “You’re a turian, you two can’t even eat the same food. Is this just some sort of fling for you? You don’t even know her that well. I’ll admit I don’t either, but I want to build something with her.”   
            The grip on his Mantis tightened as he looked at the ground, it wasn’t just a fling for him, and he felt something with Shepard. However, could he honestly say that to Kaidan? The human man had a point, what could Garrus give her? If this thing turned into a long term deal… they couldn’t have a family, not a natural one together… and he doubted that the governments would let them adopt from either species. Turians and Humans were still kind of rocky in their relationship.   
            He wanted to punch Kaidan; he didn’t know Shepard… that part he was right about. Kaidan didn’t know that she liked dextro food, and could digest it just fine, and if he did he’d probably bombard her with questions as to why. Garrus admitted he was curious, but it only took once of Shepard explaining she didn’t know why and he dropped it. He didn’t know that she thought Volus were cute and really wished to hug one. He didn’t know that she found the Hanar more annoying than anything in the galaxy. He didn’t know that she liked her kava with more cream and sugar than could be considered healthy.   
            He didn’t know that she still had nightmares, of things she couldn’t explain. Or that Eden Prime had left her sleepless some nights about the nightmares from the beacon. Nightmares about Sophie and the emotional pain that had ripped through her like nothing she’d ever felt before.   
            He didn’t even know just how uninterested she was in him…  
            “I can’t give her natural children, or any kids at all probably… but she would rather spend her time with me than you…” said Garrus with a hiss as he turned his head ever so slightly and glared down at Kaidan. “Yeah, you’re human… but that means nothing when it comes to being with someone for more than just the option to breed.”   
            Kaidan just glared back at Garrus as the tension between them grew. “You’re just some rookie cop that she entertains her company with. You’re not even man enough to stand next to her, you can’t even think about the decisions you make. Rash moves could end up getting her killed, she’s strong but she’s not indestructible.”   
            Garrus felt that one; he knew he could be rash. He was a man who thought on his feet and reacted first… he had never been someone to hesitate. What if one day his actions did get her hurt?   
            “She’s not some weak woman to be protected either.” He said softly.   
            “It’s better than she’s over protected and alive; than making quick careless decisions and ending up with Shepard wounded or worse.” Kaidan hissed at him. “You’re talented Garrus, I wouldn’t ever deny that… but you’re not mature enough to be her man.”  
            Garrus couldn’t look at him, his self-confidence through the floor now as he thought over the things that had just been thrown at him. He was twenty six… she wasn’t but three years older than him. That wasn’t what Kaidan had meant however; Kaidan had been throwing the fact that Garrus was already notorious for shooting first and asking questions later.   
            “Just what I thought.” the human man huffed as he looked Garrus up and down. “You’re not even confident that she likes you that much are you?”   
            Again, Garrus didn’t look at him… he didn’t even speak. He had been, he had been sure that she liked him a lot, more than she ever could Kaidan. All that was running through his head now though were scenarios of him screwing something up because he didn’t think, or something and Shepard got hurt. He saw scenes of Shepard realizing how wet behind the ears he really still was and dumping him faster than the Normandy’s FTL drive. He saw her with her head against Kaidan’s and whispering the sweet things she had told him to the human… needless to say, it broke his heart.   
            Maybe he should just end it, like she had wanted to… because he was pretty damn sure that he wasn’t a good enough man for her yet. She didn’t deserve to have to wait for him to become one either. He didn’t deserve her waiting for him… she was a good woman who deserved the best.


	38. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard puts an emotional band-aid of love on the wound Kaidan left on Garrus.  
> Garrus get's a little confidence back.   
> Shepard showing some control over her... Oddities.

            Shepard looked over her shoulder, listening intently for any sign of life around her. Once she knew that the coast was clear she holstered her pistol and stood still.   
            _Okay, slow…_  
            One, focus…  
            Two, breathe  
            Three, you control it  
            Four, you can handle this.  
            Five, okay… okay.  
            Shepard breathed out from her nose and opened her eyes. Tangerine glowed, pupils oval shaped and quickly dilating to take in the darkness, her skin prickled, her hair stood on end, and she could feel everything around her.   
            “Ha… I did it…” she breathed happily to herself and reminded herself to remember to tell Anderson later than she had managed to successfully bring up one of her multiple oddities. Shepard had no clue why or how she could do this, but she knew she could… and these freakish traits of hers had saved more than a few lives.   
            Time seemed to almost go still as she walked through the caverns, her bare hand tracing the walls of the tunnel she was going through and picking up on the fine hints of what had come through there.   
            She breathed in, the scent of metal, guns, varren, a Krogan… no two. Geth didn’t have a smell, not really… but she could feel the air buzzing with more electricity than what the lightning and equipment should be giving off. That was either the Prothean ruins, or Geth… not that she could tell fully. However with all the dead, there would have had to been more than two Krogans to take out this entire place.   
            Then she heard it, more like felt it, but her ears picked it up… a chittering feeling. Echoing through the caverns and back to her; she’d remembered the same feeling back on Eden prime when she was cloaked and stalking Geth.

            Stopping she closed her eyes again and pushed back down the electric feeling she’d had since she’d forced herself into this state. The same counting to five, before she opened her eyes and blinked at the sudden supreme darkness, she hadn’t noticed that she’d walked into the pitch black.   
            Grabbing her shotgun she armed it and then turned back. Her hand going to the com in her ear, “Garrus?” she asked first, “Kaidan?”

            Garrus looked up from his feet and moved his hand to answer her but Kaidan was faster. “We’re here Shepard, waiting on your orders.” he said quietly. He then looked at Garrus and clicked his tongue at him, making the younger man look away and rub the back of his neck.   
            “I’m coming back to you, and we’ve got a fight on our hands…” she whispered as she cloaked and moved quickly through the maze of caverns and ruins that she had explored through, following her own scent back.   
            Kaidan nodded, “We’re ready.” he spoke firmly and then stood straight. His hand fell from the com and he looked at Garrus, “Don’t get our Commander killed.”   
            Garrus just looked at him, his mandibles tight to his face as he lost what little trace of confidence he had left.

            When Shepard returned she instantly felt the tension, and looked between Garrus and Kaidan. The way Kaidan seemed to stand taller and how Garrus wouldn’t meet her eyes told her everything she needed to know.   
            Her eyes went to Kaidan and she narrowed them at him. “Whatever happened while I was gone… It does not happen again. Are we clear?” she asked.   
            “Aye Aye Ma’am.” said Kaidan with a salute. Garrus looked at her and nodded, still looking like a defeated and sad pile of rubble.   
            “Kaidan, take point, go on ahead and see if you can get the light box around the corner going, we’re going to need it.” she ordered, her voice tight as she tried to control the snarl she wanted to throw at him for whatever he had said or done to her Garbus.   
            Kaidan nodded and rushed ahead to get the box working. Shepard waited until he was gone before she put away her shotgun and went to Garrus.

            “Garbus?” she asked softly, her hands resting on his as she looked up at him, brown eyes big and worried.   
            “Sheepurd…” he whispered back, giving her a weak… and completely forced smile.   
            Shepard stood on her toes and used her left hand to pull his head down, touching his forehead to hers. “Whatever he said, ignore it… Please.” she pleaded with him, the bridge of her nose resting against his as she willed every ounce of her affection to try and heal any pain he felt.   
            “Okay.” He told her gently as he ever so lightly pushed his forehead back against hers and swallowed thickly, the keen in his throat having been ready to sound off. “Sheepurd?”  
            “Yes my Garbus?” she asked.  
            He again swallowed thickly and then shook his head, “Never mind…” he muttered as he pushed harder against her.   
            “Tell me.”  
            He paused for a second, before thinking over what exactly to say… he wanted to just throw at her how he felt… but that would be rash and dangerous. “This is more than a fling for me.” he whispered.   
            “Me too.” She smiled softly, “You know that, we’re not really the relationship type of people… but I don’t want this to not work.” she laughed breathlessly at using his exact words.   
            Garrus smiled, it was weak, but genuine as he opened his eyes and looked at her. Seconds later she opened her eyes and looked at him. Warm chocolate brown met bright blue, and she searched his eyes, admiring the color, accepting the breathless and sparking feeling going up her spine as she just stared at him.   
            He found himself lost staring back into her soft gaze, the scenes from before… of her and Kaidan came back to his mind and he growled, his eyes closing again and his brow plates moving slightly together as he firmly nuzzled against her head and then put his rifle away so he could hold her.   
            Shepard willingly let him, even smiling and chuffing at him as he buried his face in her neck and inhaled. “You okay now?” she asked gently as she pressed her fingers gently into the tender spot under his fringe.   
            He sighed contently and nodded, purring for her, “I will be… just promise me something?”   
            “Anything Garbus, anything for you.”  
            “If it ever becomes trouble… waiting for me to be your equal… tell me and then leave.” he held her tighter, “Don’t stick around and wait for me if it’s too much.”  
            “I promise.” she told him gently, “But just so you know… it’s never too much with you. You can only get better, every moment is great and wonderful and I will never want to stop having them with you.”  
            “Smooth talker.” He chuckled.   
            “Take a lesson, return the favor sometime.” She grinned as she pressed her cheek against his mandible and then patted his shoulder. He purred at her, his eyes holding a loving gaze as he straightened.   
            Garrus took a deep breath and rolled his neck, “Okay, I’m at your six Shepard.”   
            Shepard just smiled and grabbed her sniper as he did the same. “I wouldn’t want anyone else.” She winked at him then and turned to lead the way.   
            He had to admit, nothing healed a wound like some human sugar from his would be commander girlfriend.


	39. Action in the Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did my best with this chapter, currently very ill but i'm still doing my best. I hope it's at the very least entertaining.   
> \- Raise your hand if you want a little action between sheepurd and garbus, tell me in the comments.

            Garrus raised his assault rifle as he looked behind them and quickly moved backwards. “Shepard… are you sure about this?” he asked as he glanced over his shoulder at her. They’d been in this mine for a few hours now, and they’d come across a couple pockets of geth. Alenko was in front of him, holding a biotic wall up as he slowly walked backwards and tried to keep them covered.   
            “Doubting me now Garbus?” asked Shepard as she ripped off the cover to the electrical panel they needed to get working in order to get themselves out of this tunnel and into somewhere with a little more protection. Her omni-tool glowing as she quickly worked at the wiring and had a program running to help her hack into it.   
            “Never Sheepurd.” He chuckled as Kaidan shook his head.   
            “Fuck, I can’t focus!” he called back as his nose started to bleed and the barrier flickered. Bullets flew against it and Garrus stepped up to his side, firing through it and shredding the geth.   
            “Vakarian!” cried Shepard as she rushed forward just in time to shove both the men back and take a hit from one of the Krogan she’d scented earlier.   
            Both males tumbled back, Kaidan landing in a heap and panting as Garrus rolled and stood, watching as Shepard threw the larger alien back the way it came and grabbed her shotgun. “GET THAT THING WORKING ONE OF YOU!” she ordered as she cocked her weapon one handed while shooting at a large geth and then swinging her weapon and sideswiping the Krogan.   
            “I’ll get it, go help Shepard!” wheezed Alenko as he shoved himself and threw his body at the panel. His eyes squinting as his omni-tool fired up and he picked up where Shepard had left off. Garrus looked back at him and reached back into his belt, pulling out a proximity grenade and putting it on the tunnel wall eight feet from Alenko, it’s sensors pointing towards the way they’d come. Kaidan saw this and looked at Garrus, his lips thin as he nodded and then went back to hacking.    
            Garrus may not like Kaidan, but he wasn’t about to let him die because of some petty thing between them. He wasn’t about to win the battle for Shepard by default either. Running forward he shoved the end of his assault rifle into the back of the Krogan’s head and pulled the trigger, holding it down until Shepard dove between his legs and they both panted, and watching the now headless body land in a heap.   
            Shepard panted as she looked at Garrus, the both of them covered in red and orange blood from the dual circulatory systems of the now pulpy topped Krogan corpse. He looked at her and smirked weakly before his head whipped around at the sound of geth. Shepard was first; she shoved past him and grabbed her pistol, holding it in her left hand.   
            “Aren’t you right handed?!” asked Garrus over the sound of gunfire as they fought in the close quarters of the mine shaft.   
            “Ambidextrous!” she called back as a very large geth hit her with its gun and she went flying. Garrus dove and caught her, then rolling them both into cover as a rocket came their way.   
            “Stupid robots! That’s gonna collapse the tunnels!” shrieked the commander as she rested her forehead against Garrus’ mandible, his arms tight around her and his eyes wide. He was still seeing her body almost get blown up and at the moment he was between boiling blood and making them both run. Shepard struggled and he hesitated in letting her go, this earned him a sharp jab to the stomach as she slithered from his grip and then jumped from cover, her pistol returning to her hip as she rammed into the large geth with her shotgun as a brace, looking up at it and glaring, her eyes beginning to flicker.   
            “You’re not taking me down.” she snarled to him before a roar came from her throat and she started making ground, her strength overpowering the synthetic juggernaut and throwing it back. Three shots and she had severed it in half before turning her rage onto the several smaller geth and beginning to push them back.   
            Garrus took a moment to take a breath before holstering his rifle and bouncing on his feet, time to put his hand to hand skills to work. Rushing forward he thrust his hand up and shattered the light that was a geth’s “face”. Guns were only going to put them in danger, and Shepard was already using her shotgun, anymore blasts and he was sure there was going to be a collapse.   
            “A LITTLE HELP OVER HERE!” screamed Kaidan. He was panting and trying to keep his eyes open as he held a barrier around himself, geth shooting at him. Garrus turned and rushed back. Almost silently he rammed into it from behind and went tumbling. Kaidan watched for a few short seconds before he scrambled back up and finished opening the doors. “IT’S OPEN GET IN!”   
            Their commander had heard them, but she was currently snarling and kicking at another large geth as it held her by her neck against the wall. “GO!” she croaked out.   
            Garrus managed to pry off his opponents metal head before he looked at Shepard and began to scramble to her. He however felt hands on him and he was pulled backwards. Kaidan throwing him into the room by the yoke of his armor; with a hiss he threw his biotics at the large geth pinning Shepard and watched her fall to the ground. She gasped for a fraction of a moment before scrambling to them.   
            The turian wasn’t about to watch his girlfriend get shot, _fuck it_ he thought as he pulled his rifle back out and gave her some cover fire. Kaidan grabbed her by the waist when she was near enough and threw her in before following, his hand slamming down onto the pad next to Garrus and the doors shut. Sparking started and then Garrus covered his face as the doors welded shut. “What the?!”  
            “Fuck!” panted Kaidan as he fell onto a piece of rubble and looked at the door. “I thought I got past that…”   
            “Suicide door?” asked Shepard as she pulled herself to her knees and tried to stand. Her legs becoming like jelly and she fell back down, now forward on her hands as she felt a migraine rip through her skull; the scream she gave at the pain causing Garrus to dive next to her and grab her head, her hands slamming down on his as she went through the white hot flashes.   
            Kaidan looked at her, “Shepard?” he asked carefully as he looked at Garrus. How was this guy handling all this? How was he not asking a million questions? How in the name of all that was holy was Garrus still fully functioning enough to fight Shepard’s hands away from ripping at her own hair?   
            He didn’t understand it; Shepard only seemed to be getting more and more unstable as things were going on. Off duty he had been watching her laugh and relax more… but now it was as if she wasn’t making any ground at all. She reared her head and looked at Garrus; her eyes flashing and huge tears rolling down her cheeks, face red and twisted in pain. Kaidan watched as Garrus just held her gaze and forced himself to purr at her lowly.   
            “What’s happening?” Kaidan asked.   
            Garrus didn’t answer him right away, focused on giving Shepard a little solidarity so she could rein herself and whatever this part of her was in. When she finally stopped struggling and fell with her head against his armored shoulder he let go of the long breath he’d been holding and stopped rumbling to comfort her.   
            He fell back and leaned on one arm, his other holding Shepard to him tightly. “I have no idea.” he admitted as his back arm gave out and he fell back. “All I know is that she was going to do some major damage if I didn’t step in.”   
            “Fuck.” breathed out Kaidan as he crawled closer to the both of them and hesitantly turned Shepard’s head, she was out cold. Her body shivering and her face still contorted as her eyes frantically moved behind her lids. It wasn’t a restful sleep, probably induced by the stress and pain. Gently he tucked some hair behind her ear.   
            “Back. Off…” growled Garrus as he looked at Kaidan, “Now’s not the time to be getting between a turian and the girl he’s interested in.”   
            “And what are you going to do? You’re as exhausted as me.” Kaidan challenged.   
            Garrus was lightning fast as his hand shot out and shoved Kaidan back a few feet. “I’ll always find the energy to protect Shepard.” he snarled as he gently set her on the ground and moved to stand.   
            Kaidan scrambled and got to his feet at the same time as Garrus, “What? Going to kill me now that you know I can’t control my biotics so well?” he asked, his hand moving to his pistol. Garrus was faster though and had it already out and pointing at him, a regular quick draw.   
            “No, but you better keep away from Shepard… otherwise I can’t guarantee you’ll make it out of this mine.” His voice low and his growl audible even to Kaidan.   
            “I’m not giving up on her.”   
            “Neither am I, and you know this isn’t the place for this.”   
            “Well fuck, I might just have to kill you!” he barked, as he started to hyperventilate.   
            Garrus looked him over, “Are you… afraid of closed spaces?”   
            “So fucking what if I am?”  
            “It’s making you erratic, take a fucking breath and calm yourself. The last thing you want to do is get into it with me down here.” threatened the turian suitor.   
            Kaidan took a moment to re-evaluate the situation. Did he feel calm? Not at all. Was he stable? Not in the least bit. Was Garrus right? Probably. Did Kaidan really want to get into a fight in a mine shaft with a predatory alien soldier who was not above killing him to keep him from Shepard.   
            He took the safer route; “Okay.” he sighed before standing straight and taking a few deep breaths. “Alright, you’re right… this is all… just a lot.” he breathed out.   
            Garrus eyes him for a second before straightening and holstering his pistol. “Lie down, rest… Shepard’s probably going to be out for a bit… take the time to eat something and rest.” Garrus told his squad mate. He then sat down next to Shepard and rested his head in his hands.   
            Kaidan nodded and held his head, before sitting back against some rubble and pulling out a supplement drink and his water. He was tired, worn out, and a little scared Garrus might eviscerate him in his sleep.   
            In all honesty, Garrus was considering it… but one look at Shepard’s passed out face had the thought chased from his mind as he just ran a hand over his fringe and took a few deep breaths. _Fuck mines…_


	40. Heated looks in the Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting to feel much better! hopefully only on the up and up from now on! thank you for all the wonderful kind wishes. <3

            He’d eventually settled back against the small room’s wall. It looked like it had been some sort of control area, the rubble around ancient, old, covered in years of stagnant mine debris. Garrus sighed as he watched Kaidan shake and try to calm himself; “Deep breaths, and I’m not going to do anything.” he told the other man softly.   
            Kaidan looked at him and raised his brows, “Why should I believe you?”   
            Garrus just snorted and tilted his head towards Shepard, “Because despite your stubbornness and being a complete idiot… she likes you as a person.”   
            “And how would you know this?”   
            “I actually talk to her, she with me? If you haven’t noticed I get along pretty well with our C.O.” Garrus smirked softly, “Why are you so persistent? If you don’t mind me asking…”   
            Kaidan sat back and looked up at the roof of the room, why was he? At first it was because he had genuinely liked her. He’d wanted to see her smile and get to know her… however all these weird happenings that Shepard was going through? He wasn’t so sure anymore if he wanted to get involved in all of that.   
            “I honestly don’t know anymore…” he admitted as he looked at Garrus, “Huh.”  
            His mandibles slackened and dropped as he looked at Kaidan, before he picked up a rock and threw it at him. “You give her and I this much grief and you can’t even give a real answer as to why you’re chasing her so hard?!”  
            Kaidan ducked and barely dodged the rock, “I guess, I just felt like I have to. All those people… they just constantly tell me how we would be good together. I just…” he shrugged, “… Do you understand?”   
            Garrus huffed and refused to look at Kaidan, “I get what you’re saying, but all the shit that’s happened because of all these meddling humans.” The turian was not amused at the fact that he had been fighting so hard just because Kaidan had felt pressured into it. “Give up. You don’t honestly hold feelings. Save her the humiliation…”   
            Sighing, Kaidan leaned his head back and looked up at the ceiling again, “I did… when I thought she was all sweet smiles and a modest personality. Then I saw her in an actual combat situation and well.” He drifted off for a few long moments.   
            “Well?”  
            “Well… it just started to fade.” He shrugged, “I’m not stupid, and I know she isn’t interested in me. It’s just, with all those people trying to push us together I felt like… if I just managed to convince her to date me we could fall into that.” Kaidan then shrugged, “huh…”   
            “What?”  
            “Your voice is really soothing, ever considered being like, a Counselor or a Therapist?” he asked as he looked at Garrus. Garrus gave him an unamused look and raised a brow plate at him. “What?”   
            Garrus just huffed and ran both his hands over his fringe trying to remain calm. He just wanted to beat Kaidan senseless for all this shit and everything he’d just uncovered. “Eat your damn food and rest.” Was all he said as he looked at his omni-tool and checked the time. They’d been in this mine nine hours now, and he doubted anyone could raise them from the Normandy. If they were lucky, Wrex would lead a search party and he’d track them here. If they weren’t… well… the reapers were coming anyways.

            Groaning Shepard picked her head off of the dirt and observed her surroundings; dark and dim, the only light coming from a glow stick she was assuming Kaidan had to have thrown down to illuminate their current prison. She looked around; Kaidan was out cold and sleeping with his head against some stone. Garrus was nowhere to be seen.   
            Shepard got to her feet and silently padded around, hearing muttering she looked around some rumble to find her turian. “Vakarian?” she asked softly.   
            Garrus whipped his head around and looked at his, “Shepard, you’re awake.” He sighed, relieved that she had pulled through it. He stood and crossed over to her, stopping just inches from her. “How are you feeling?”  
            “Tired…” she smiled softly as she closed the distance and wrapped her arms around his neck, “Thank you.”   
            He sighed contently as she came into his hold. “I’m just relieved you’re okay.” he breathed as he turned his head and nuzzled into her hair. “I gotta say though, you were pretty bad ass.”   
            “Oh?” she asked with a small laugh, her cheek against his. “Was I?”  
            Garrus growled at her and pulled away, “You have no idea how much of a turn on that was. Turians like women who are strong and capable.” He smirked as his gloved hand came up and caressed her cheek.   
            “Explains why I can smell you even more.” breathed out Shepard as she deeply inhaled and then let out a long purr from her throat. “It’s a sin that you smell this good Garrus.”   
            “You think so?” he purred at her, his forehead coming down to press against hers.   
            Shepard nodded and nuzzled against him. “I do, so much that maybe I should discipline you, as your commanding officer and all.”   
            Garrus chuckled and looked into her eyes; he wanted her… no denying that. How could he not want the woman he was so attached to. He opened his mouth to speak before he heard shuffling and then the sound of Kaidan waking up. “damn it…” he hissed.   
            Shepard rolled her eyes and glared a hole into the floor at their feet as she set her jaw. Pulling from Garrus she turned just in time to hear Kaidan call out to them.

            “Over here!” she called. “So want to tell me what you found?” asked Shepard as she looked at the opening in the lower half of the wall where Garrus had been messing around.   
            “Oh… right… I found a way out. Well… for one of you. I wouldn’t fit.” He shrugged. “You and he should get out, go get help, and then come get me and we go get Dr. T’soni after.”  
            Shepard rose an eyebrow and looked at him, “Or… we send Kaidan out and pick up where we left off.” She whispered, her features gaining a wry smile.   
            Garrus flicked his mandibles and chewed on that, how much could he stand before he ended up ripping off their armor and bedding his girlfriend… in a dark, danky, Prothean mine. It wasn’t his idea of romantic, then again… was something romantic really in the cards for them any time soon considering what their whole mission was about?  
            “Okay.” He whispered back just in time before Kaidan showed up. Shepard gave him a long… very emotive look before she bit her lip and chuffed at him. He felt his plates ever so slightly loosen and his heart give a thump. Kaidan needed to get out of there fast.


	41. Kissing in the Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moar?

            “I need you to get out through here and then make your way back to the Mako. Take it and raise Joker.” ordered Shepard as she looked Kaidan in the eyes, her voice was firm and her gaze unwavering.   
            “Aye aye ma’am!” said Kaidan as he saluted, “But um… what about you two?” he asked.   
            Garrus sighed and started to bang his head slightly on the wall…  
            _Calm down, you’ve gone three years without anyone but lefty… you can wait a few more minutes._ He thought to himself as he watched Kaidan ask questions, it proved too much for him. _Fucking hell… just leave already!_  
            His patience was nearly up, and he knew he wanted to get his bare hands on Shepard’s flesh. Okay so he may not actually get to have sex with her… but he knew they’d at least get to fool around and that was enough for him to be impatient. There were places on her body that he hadn’t seen and was itching to put his hands, and mouth, on.   
            “I can’t leave Vakarian, what if the geth come? He’ll be left all alone to defend himself. I’ll, give you my Cloaking device, use it wisely and get out as quickly as you can.” She growled at him, “Are you now done questioning your Commander?”   
            “Sorry Ma’am!” Kaidan gulped as he then stood at attention and nodded, “Ready on your orders.”  
            Shepard handed him her cloaking chip, “I’ll be sealing this entrance behind you, and we can’t have any risks.”   
            Kaidan just nodded and took the chip, sliding it into his omni-tool and then testing it out. Shepard wasn’t known to use top of the line anything, but this cloak was pretty damned close. He then looked at her and saluted before diving into the opening and beginning his quick crawl to open air. He hated closed spaces anyways; the air would do him good.   
            Garrus came over and began to shove a large piece of rubble in front of the opening, before he grunted and stood. It was a single short moment before he rose his eyes to look at her.

            Shepard smiled at him sweetly, he’d half expected her to jump him, he’d kind of hopes she would so that he could play this all off as just them being heated from battle and it wasn’t because they were extremely attached to each other. It was a grey area with Shepard, they were not together… but they weren’t exactly looking at anyone else either.   
            “Want to learn a human way of showing affection?” she asked as she walked up to him, her hips moving from side to side a little more than usual, he found his eyes going right to her waist and his plates beginning to shift. He barely managed to nod at her question due to the extraction.   
            The way she looked at him had his stomach fluttering and his heart ramming into his chest. How her hand gently touched his chest and pushed him gently to sit back on some rubble made his throat go dry and his mandibles pull tightly to his face. His eyes held her gaze as she stood in front of him and then bit her lip, looking down briefly before only her eyes moved to hold his again. Her hands moved to the seals of her armor and she popped them, her chest-plate dropping onto the floor with a dull thud.   
            Garrus swallowed thickly as he watched her remove the top half of her armor, he’d seen her legs, her arms… however he’d never really payed that much attention to the parts of her skin she was now slowly showing to him. Slowly, her hands removed her gloves. Bringing her left hand up to her mouth and biting the tip of her middle finger and she slowly pulled the glove off her hand while her right gently gripped the zipper at her throat and pulled it down in and agonizingly slow fashion.  
            His blood was rushing to a whole new place as his eyes focused in on the flesh of her neck. He inhaled and held his breath then, seeing her pull off her glove like that and just hold his gaze with a heat in her eyes he’d never seen before. He’d never understand how this woman _had_ been single… then again… why would he want to? She was obviously very into him; Shepard wasn’t a woman to sleep or even get all touchy feely with just anyone.   
            The zipper stopped its descent between her breasts and her hands swiftly popped off her leg armor, “Plan to stay so dressed up?” she asked as she smirked at him and then ran both her hands through her hair, his gaze going right to how her waist and hips were. He really wanted to get that zipper open all the way. His hands popped open the seals of his own armor and he shed it quickly.   
             Standing, he then looked at her and purred. “I was just, enjoying the view.” Unzipping the top of his own under-armor he peeled it ever so slowly from his chest. It was Shepard’s turn to stare and feel her heart race even faster than it had been.   
            She wasn’t exactly a bold sexual partner. However Garrus got her going in ways she didn’t quite understand, and had no desire to. She enjoyed the way his eyes ran up the lines and curves of her body, how he didn’t seem put off by the fact she wasn’t completely soft, round, and feminine. While she was obviously a woman, her body wasn’t exactly that of the “ideal” human woman. He seemed to appreciate it though, and that was all that mattered.   
            Shepard watched as his body moved how his plates and muscles glided; the shimmering metallic gleam on his plates glinting from the dim glow of the green glow-stick. He then rumbled for her, a cocky smirk on his face as his ego inflated from the way she was watching him. Her reaction to that was a growl of her own, her hands going to his chest and running down to his stomach, her hands now gripping his sides firmly as she looked up at him and chuffed.   
            His head came down to meet hers and he purred for her, letting out a small gasp as she shoved him back into sitting position. When her legs moved to straddle him he could only exhale and then breathe in deeply the scent of her. His gloved hands on her hips and his face burying itself in the crook of her neck.   
            She rolled her body against him once and just laughed softly as he nipped at her and held her hips a little tighter. When she grabbed his hands he looked at her curiously, “Shepard?” he asked. He was answered by her undoing the fastening at his wrists and slowly working them off his hands. He watched her, a warm feeling rising from his stomach and into his chest as she laced her fingers with his and then pressed her forehead against his.   
            “Close your eyes.” She breathed.   
            Garrus would have outright refused were this anyone else. This was Shepard though, so he found that he only grew excited as his eyes closed and he felt her breath gently move across his mouth plates. Was she about to…  
            She did, her lips pressed against his mouth plates and he felt himself thrum with happiness as she did that strange human thing called kissing. He’s seen many of the lipped species do it; he himself however hadn’t ever experienced it. Now Shepard was doing this with him and he could understand why they always looked so happy.   
            While he couldn’t move his mouth the way she could, he was pleased to find out that she liked it when he nipped at her lower lip. It was gentle, his mouth plates barely trapping it for a second. Her hands released his and caressed his mandibles as he moved his back to her hips and then slowly moved them up and down her waist. The moment her tongue entered his mouth he gave a sigh and moved his brow plates together. He honestly should feel a little disgusted, a human tongue gently caressing his own.   
            It just happened to be the single most intimate thing he’d ever experienced in his life however.   
            “Like it?” asked Shepard after a few long moments of him and her just tasting each other.   
            Garrus chuffed at her and nipped at her jaw before his forehead met hers and be pressed firmly to her. “Hell yeah.”  



	42. Getting some Action in the Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yep... they crossed another bridge. >>;;

            Her taste left hints of tang and freshness in his mouth, something metallic and clean with a sharp end. It’d been totally different than what he’d expected; he’d assumed she’d be along the lines of sweet, maybe sour? He didn’t have any experience with aliens aside from one drunken night with an Asari stripper… and spirits knew he didn’t remember that night much.   
            She pulled away for a moment from their kissing, her nose against his as she panted; he was right there with her, completely intoxicated by the exciting smell of her aroused and wanting him. Shepard grabbed his mandibles and yanked his head back, her nose going to his neck and inhaling deeply. He moaned as her tongue laved up his throat and she bit at him. “Shepard.” He nearly keened.   
            “Yes?” she breathed as she bit him again, “Tell me what you want Garrus.” She purred into his aural canal while rolling her body against him. His hands gripped her hips tighter and he yanked his head from her grasp, his mouth plates hitting her lips as he took her tongue with his own.   
            None too subtly he moved his hand to her chest and gripped the zipper; his eyes meeting hers as he pulled away. She panted softly and moved her hands to his shoulders, running them down the plates on his chest. He took this as her giving the okay; moving his eyes to her chest he slowly pulled it down, exposing her flesh to him.   
            Garrus’ breath hitched as he watched more and more of her skin become exposed to him. He continued until the zipper was at her pelvis and he saw the thick band of her underclothes. His codpiece was the only thing keeping him from shooting out of his plates, reminding him that he really couldn’t just give into his urges, rip her clothes apart and fuck her right there in the dirt. Well, the codpiece and his own feelings for her.   
            Shepard started to shrug then top of her under-armor off, exposing her shoulders to him and then smiled softly. He rumbled to her as his hands moved inside of her suit and touched her waist, gripping at her skin. Oh he really wished he could take off his lower armor and get a little relief for the straining member behind his plates. Her skin was so soft, it was hard to believe this was the woman who he watched tear things apart viciously and get charged by Krogan.   
            Slowly he hand his hands up and pulled her suit down, not completely off however, just enough so that her forearms were still in their sleeves and her torso was exposed to him. Breasts were a strange thing to him, Turian females had similar shape to their chests but they weren’t exactly the same. Shepard’s were a handful of soft flesh with pink peaks in the center, he found them interesting, even exciting. Especially when he moved his thumb over that peak and discovered how sensitive it was, how it made her bite her lip and pull his face closer to kiss him again. Oh yeah, she liked the feeling of him caressing her breasts with his large, slightly calloused hands.   
            Shepard made a small needy noise against his mouth as she felt the talons on his thumbs ever so slightly press into the center of her nipples. Furrowing her brows she pulled away and rested her head just inside his cowl against his neck. Garrus rumbled, his hands squeezing the soft mounds before he moved his hands down and gripped her ass from inside her suit. The way she gasped and ground her sex against his codpiece was the final strike he needed to remove his hands from her and undo the seals for it.   
            It was sweet, sweet relief. His plates were open wide, and his erection nearly sprang from inside him as he removed the metal. Now it just strained tightly against the fabric of his own under-armor. Shepard watched his hands before she gasped, now feeling his hot member through their suits against her folds. Immediately after his hands returned into her suit and grabbed her ass again, shoving her tightly against him as he moved his hips against her slowly.   
            Her left arm wrapped around his neck as she touched her face to his, her right hand sliding down between them and into the slit in his suit. Gently, she opened it and gripped his member. Her tongue licked her lips as she felt the shape, listened to him gasp, then moan, and then growl against her mouth.   
            Garrus couldn’t form a coherent thought anymore, his mind completely gone and lost to the feelings he had as he explored and played with Shepard’s body. He moved his left hand to her front and ran his fingers over her sex through her underwear, his right arm going around her tightly. The way her hand wrapped around the tapered tip of his cock had his stomach already feeling tight, how her breasts felt against his plates was something new and already addictive. To have her soft body pressing against his, how he found that familiar little bundle of nerves that turian women also had at the front of her. He gently pressed his finger against his and nipped at her throat as she stroked him.   
            Shepard whined as he touched her, doing this with him had her feeling more lost than ever before. She’d had sex with both sexes of humans, she’d vaguely enjoyed it with her first relationship Sophie… however being wrapped up with Garrus? It was something entirely new, like her body was on fire, electrical pulses coming from wherever he touched her. When he ran his tongue up her throat she bucked from the dual feeling and bent her head to kiss him.   
            Sex with Sophie had been nice, almost like an almost warm bath. Just fooling around like this was Garrus was as if she was running through fire. He smelled amazing, his scent of arousal spurring her further on. He was right there with her, enveloped in her scent as he returned her kiss. She stopped for a moment and maid a strained noise, her body tightening. Garrus picked up on the signs and rubbed at her harder, his mouth drinking down her small cry as she came.   
            The way her hand became erratic on him proved his undoing as he followed her to a climax. He gasped as he felt her hand pull his member tight against her core and let him spill himself against the fabric of her underwear.   
            “Fuck…” he panted as he pressed his forehead against hers firmly and moved his right arm to hold her as tight against him as he could manage.   
            Shepard smiled and pecked at his mouth plates, panting along with him. “Not yet… and hopefully somewhere better than a mine.” she laughed softly. He chuckled and nipped at her chin affectionately.   
            “Over the hood of the Mako?” he asked breathlessly as he felt her hands run up his torso and settle with her arms around his neck.   
            She smiled and laughed under her breath, “Maybe, since Wrex is already going to have a field day when he gets a whiff of us.”   
            “Crap… I didn’t think of that…”  
            “Of course you didn’t.”   
            “You did?”  
            “Yes, and I honestly don’t care. I like you Garrus, a lot. So much I’m not ashamed to be fooling around with my very handsome, cute, sexy turian boyfriend.”  
            Garrus purred loudly for her and initiated a kiss, his tongue desperate for hers. Shepard had to be the single most amazing being in this universe, for her to care about him so much and want him just as he was. “Boyfriend huh?”  
            “Shut up Garbus.”  
            He grinned against her mouth, their eyes still closed and their faces together as they enjoyed the close feeling, “Okay, Sheepurd.”


	43. Compromising Situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for slow updates, this writer is very sick now and feeling like they were just ran over by the Mako.

            “Nihlus! You’re still in no condition to go anywhere!” demanded Ashley as she followed the determined Turian off the ship and helped him along. “Shepard is going to be pissed if you get injured.”  
            “Then don’t let me get injured.” snipped Nihlus as he hobbled, wearing his under-armor a pistol on his hip and his cane helping him move quickly across the land and up to the entrance to the mine. “The Mini Me could be in danger!”   
            Wrex just boomed in laughter as he walked along, Tali behind him and smiling behind her mask. “Let him go, if he does then it’s one less mouth to feed anyways.”  
            Nihlus sighed and just stopped, leaning on his cane before he spun around and thumped Wrex on the head firmly. “I’m not going to die! I didn’t die from that asshole traitor shooting me in the chest; I’m not going to die in an ancient mine!”   
            Wrex gave him an unamused look as he watched the turian start hobbling along. Ashley gave him another worried look before she ran up and followed him. She was determined to let the one turian she actually liked not get further injured. Plus Shepard would be pretty upset of he was hurt.

            “Hello! Is somebody there!?” called an Asari female as she looked around from inside the bubble of protection that was right now her personal prison. She sighed heavily as her head went back to a hanging position and she whimpered to herself. How in all of the galaxy did she have to end up in this situation.   
            Everyone was dead… she knew she had to be the only one still alive. The geth had attacked, that large dark Krogan had attacked her. She’d ran, only escaping because Bill had thrown himself at the Krogan. Her friend, a charming and bright Salarian, the way his body had hit the crate made her sick. He was the one person here that she didn’t feel looked down at her. He’d always been the one to share meals, and stay up late just talking so enthusiastically on their theories.   
            Now she was alone, and trapped, and completely helpless. Either she would starve to death, or the Krogan would get her somehow. Liara T’Soni was surely… out of luck. Nothing was going the way it should have, and she was left here to rot.

            Shepard smiled as Garrus held her from behind, his mandibles fluttering against her cheek as he laid on the affection. “So, Boyfriend now?”   
            “Oh Hush.” she laughed as she reached around and stroked his fringe; his rumble a sign of the affectionate haze that his head was still clouded with. Shepard pulled the zipper of her suit up and reached for her leg armor before Garrus hooked a talon in it and pulled it back down, his hands going for her breasts. “What are you up to?”  
            “Nothing, enjoying my _Girlfriend’s_ body.” He purred for her as his tongue ran up her neck and he hugged her tightly. “You’re so soft, makes it hard to keep my hands off you.”  
            “Even if I order you as your Commander?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. He seemed to pause and think about that for a moment before his palm stroked at her flat stomach and she sighed.   
            “You’re only my Commander when we’re on duty.” He smirked, “Otherwise, you’re the woman I can’t seem to get enough of.”   
            Her smiled was soft as she turned her head and looked at him fully, he nosed against her cheek and she grinned while returning the tender affection. “Okay.” Was all she could bring herself to say as he went from feeling her up to just holding her tightly to him? Nothing made her feel better than her Turian boyfriend.

            “Mmmmm, they went this way.” rumbled Wrex as he took a turn, “Make the lighty ball come this way.” He told Tali.   
            “Her name is Chiktaki…” sighed Tali as she directed her attack drone to follow Wrex as he lead them to the place where they would likely be able to find Shepard and Garrus. Tali was a little curious as to why they didn’t break themselves out or anything, then again… Time alone was probably something the two wanted. “You think they’re up to something?”  
            “Hmm?”  
            “Shepard and Garrus.”   
            “Probably, hot blooded young turian, tense young human… wouldn’t be surprised if we found them in a compromising position.” He mused as he took another left and Tali followed.   
            “Compromising position?” she asked. “Like they could be… entertaining themselves?”   
            “Yep.”   
            Tali erupted into a fit of giggles at the idea of finding the young detective and the commander naked and rolling around in the dirt. She’d gotten over her crush on Garrus, while he was still attractive in her mind, she saw him more as a friend. Especially because of the way he looked at Shepard, and when they weren’t together he almost looked sad. How could she get in the way of that? Garrus was such a nice guy, sometimes a little quick to react, but he was still nice. Shepard was nice too, she liked seeing both of the people she considered friends happy.   
            It wouldn’t stop her from making jokes at them however; it would just be too good of an opportunity to pass up if she got to catch them in the act. Plus then the betting pool would be hers and she would be able to buy that new suit she wanted… with the nerve stimulants.   
            “Mmmhmm, right through here…” rumbled Wrex as he walked right through a pile of shredded geth parts. “Seems like they got ambushed, battle happened just like Kaidan said.” He confirmed as he found the door. “Alright, think you can get this thing open?” he asked.   
            Tali turned to look at him and crossed her arms; he just gave her a laugh and waved his hand for her to go at it. Tali may be a soft little Quarian, but even he wouldn’t say she was weak, that child could hack into anything.

            They were laughing, who knew that rolling around behind some ruins could be so much fun? Shepard’s giggles leaving Garrus dizzy with warm feelings and chuckling right along with her. He’d honestly stopped tracking the time awhile ago, completely distracted by the soft human body of his boss on top of his and her small human hands touching his chest, arms, and back in all the right ways.   
            “You’ve been bad Garrus, I should call this insubordination. Making your commander officer enter into a situation such as this with you~.” She purred as she nipped at his neck and held his hands up above his head.   
            Garrus played along, wearing a wide turian smile the entire time, “I have no such Idea as to what you are talking about Commander! I’m vaguely insulted, I’m turian you know. We’re honorable.”   
            Shepard giggled and pecked at his mouth plates. “Is that why you decided you just had to molest your commander?”   
            “I did no such thing.”  
            “Oh? Then please clarify Officer Vakarian.”  
            Garrus stole her mouth and kissed her deeply, “I’m molesting my girlfriend.”   
            “Mmmm? And who would that be?” she asked.   
            “Commander Shepard, my commanding officer, my boss, and the most amazing woman in the galaxy?” he offered.   
            Shepard pulled her head back and looked at him, her expression soft, “…smooth talker.”  
            “Only for you… Echo.”   
            Her breath hitched as he called her by her first name. It’d been the first time. She ended up sitting up on his hips and holding her face, her eyes filled with emotion. He leaned back on his hands and returned the tender look, he could guess how much it meant to her.   
            Garrus was about to say something before he heard a torch and looked at the door, sparks coming through it, “Crap.”  
            Shepard turned around and looked at the door, the two of them looking at each other before they were both scrambling to find their armor. Whether it was more geth or their rescue party… being caught in just their under armor and holding each other was not how they wanted to be found.


	44. Caught

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doing a little better, i'm hoping to get a few chapters out for this one today and tomorrow. Sorry if they're... blegh. I have a foggy head, but an urge to write. Hopefully they're at least entertaining.

            They hurriedly shushed each other while redressing, Shepard more than once falling over as she hopped along and popped her leg armor into place. Garrus was desperately trying to find something to cover up the scent of them, finally finding an old gas canister and cracking it open. He’d forgotten to warm Shepard before splashing her with it, she’d looked like she was going to kill him as he dosed himself.   
            “What?!” he hissed as she punched him in the gut.   
            “Couldn’t warn me?!”   
            “Look! Wrex is probably already going to smell it all over this, Let’s try and save some of our reputation as professionals.” He said frantically. Shepard only gave him an unamused look before sighing and grabbing his mandibles. One long slow kiss and he was a rumbling mess and looking at her with a wanting gaze.   
            Shepard gave him a playful smile, “Because he’s totally not going to notice your subharmonics and how you’re not going to be able to resist looking at me.”  
            “Evil woman…” he rumbled but still got into her space, ignoring the fact the doors were almost open as his hands gripped her hips and pulled her close enough he could press his head against hers. “Fuck… now the gas was useless…”She just smiled and laughed before shoving him away.

            Wrex shoved the doors open and looked at them, it was one whiff of the air before he got a highly amused smirk. Tali came in and looked excited behind her mask, before she looked disappointed.   
            “Really? We couldn’t find you two naked and rolling around?” she asked, as if the idea of finding them six feet apart was near a nightmare.   
            “Oh, they were.” rumbled Wrex as he looked at Garrus. The turian pulled his mandibles tight to his face and avoided the old Krogan’s gaze. “His pheromones are all over the place, and did you really try and cover them up with ancient petrol?”   
            Garrus gave a nervous trill as he turned his back to them and tried to calm himself down, he looked to Shepard for some support. She met his eyes and smiled gently, “Nothing wrong with enjoying some company with the resident hunk.” She grinned.   
            Garrus stood straight before he looked away from her too, now both trilling and turning increasingly blue. Tali looked him up and down, “I agree, resident hunk for sure.” She giggled. Shepard full out laughed while Wrex took his turn to examine Garrus.   
            “Not my type, but I guess if you like to eat desserts he’s acceptable.” he shrugged. Shepard nearly fell over from the power of the laugh that hit her, Garrus turned and looked at her with wide eyes. Wrex however was chuckling heavily, apparently having said it deliberately.   
            “I don’t get it…”  
            “Turians are sweet…” he informed.   
            “But… how would… okay…” asked Tali before she stood for a minute, “I get how you would know that… you’ve probably eaten one. But Shepard…” she went wide eyed and looked at the woman, who now too her turn to bristle nervously and take a step away from Tali. “YOU DIDN’T!?”  
            “I don’t kiss and tell.” She snipped as she crossed her arms. Garrus rose a brow-plate at her and gave her an amused smile.   
            Shepard raised her eyebrow at him before she made a show of licking her lips and he flushed again. Licking his fluids off her fingers had proven fun for the both of him. She got a sweet treat… and he got to watch her enjoy a “sweet treat”.   
            Wrex was done, he could already hear Garrus getting worked up again and he didn’t want to smell it ag- , nope… there it was the young turian was already going on the uphill trek to being aroused again.   
            “Alright Garrus, we get it, you like her.” sighed Wrex as he held his nose and then turned to bumble his way out the way they came in. The turian could only sigh and look up, praying to the spirits that they wouldn’t continuously pick on him for being in a… well he guessed it was a real relationship now, with the commander.

            “Hello!? Can someone help me?!” cried the Asari as she called out into the darkness. She was hoping, praying that the explosions she had heard were that of rescue, and not Geth. She wasn't exactly in a position to handle them at the moment.


	45. Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh? Do I ship it? Maybe

  
           

         Nihlus looked irritated beyond belief as he rode the elevator down and simply let Ashley apply medigel to his arm. “I’m fine Williams…”  
            “You’re not fine you’re bleeding, fuck, Skipper is going to kill me.” she complained softly as she started to help him put back on his armor. Nihlus breathed out through his nose and simply let her, ignoring the fact that her soft little hand was touching his bare chest and he was getting a mild prickling feeling from it.   
            He shouldn’t be finding that enjoyable, not when there was still a chance for him to have Saren back. Saren was the man he loved; he was a good man… underneath it all. Okay so Saren was a dick, anyone who knew the man could tell that. Nihlus loved him though; he loved him with every fiber of his being.  
            Or he had, until that bastard betrayed him by shooting him in the face and then chest; until he’d said goodbye and left him alone to feel all this pain. Until Nihlus had accepted that fact that the man was probably brainwashed and that he was never going to be the same again. There had been so much tech on him, Nihlus didn’t remember that much. Not when he remembered the warm chocolate hide and striking snow colored plates.   
            Saren, admittingly wasn’t much of a looker to most turians, infact he was more on the “ew” side. However Nihlus had seen him, the way he walked and held himself and that was it. He was over the moon for the man, and had fallen in love with the sides of Saren that the older man had long since buried underneath his cold cruel demeanor.   
            Nihlus was in love with someone who was dead; Saren wasn’t going to come back. Nihlus knew this already, but the small bit of him that held onto the small foolish bit of hope couldn’t let it go. He wanted to be held by the man he loved again, have Saren fall asleep on his stomach again. He wanted to hear Saren humming under his breath, sneer at his poor attempts to cook, mildly obsess over his looks in the mirror. Nihlus missed all these things, the things that made him fall in love with Saren all over again every moment they had spent together.

            The way Ashley’s fingers felt on him though, he couldn’t tell if he was just lonely and wanted to get laid… or if he was actually started to feel something for her. He did spend a lot of time around her, the dark haired human soldier often brought him a snack and talked to him about various things.   
            He’d found out that she adored poetry, something he shared with her. He’d found out that she was truly feminine at heart. This woman could kick anyone’s ass, much like Shepard, and the next minute reapply her lipstick so delicately it was almost entrancing. That was not like his mini me. The way she looked with her hair down, he found himself more than a little pleased by. Something about her just made his pain cloud and he could forget for a few short moments that he was in near constant pain.

            Ashley got in front of him and looked up into those mildly irritated green eyes. “Just let me help okay?” she asked. Her voice firm as she continued to hold down the bandage while gently moving his armor back up.   
            Turians, aliens in general really, but turians especially weren’t supposed to make her blood pump through her a little faster and her heart flutter a little. Something about Nihlus though spoke much more to her than any other alien though. It was probably because he seemed so… human?  
            He wasn’t a typical turian, then again she didn’t know much about them. All she knew were Garrus and Nihlus. Garrus to her struck her as a vigilante good guy who thought the world could be saved if he just tried a little harder. She was going to let Shepard explain that one to him.   
            Nihlus however, he was much more complex. There were the parts of him that made her smile. Like his admiration for art, literature of multiple species, and how he could speak both as a soldier and as a well-read sophisticate. How he had such an intense stare when he was focused in on something. How quickly he could flip from commanding to playful. How he just seemed to fit right next to Shepard like he was the family she had never had.   
            Slowly, she found herself more and more happy to be in his company, even going to him when she was stumped on a step to take next with their arsenal. When she went up to the mess for a midnight snack, she was always happy to see him sitting at the table, looking at various datapads and sipping at some of that strong smelling kava.   
            “Please?” she asked  
            Nihlus deflated and looked down at her, his expression soft, “Alright.” His tone was gentle as he stopped trying to pull away and let her touch him. “She won’t be mad at you either…” he added.   
            “Who?”  
            “Echo.” He whispered, “She’ll probably be happy someone decided to come with me, rather than just let me go on my own.”   
            Ashley smiled and shrugged, “Well, be a shame to lose you, who’s going to talk poetry with me?”  
            “We could always get a Hanar.”  
            “Are they good at Poetry?”  
            Nihlus snorted and smirked, “Oh, sublime.”


	46. Head and Heart Aches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been such a long time since i have updated this story! I recently got a diagnosis that... kind of left me pretty down. I'm hoping forcing myself to write more will make the pain go away. I look forward to reading everyone's thoughts on what's going on. Feel free to ask questions and offer up any ideas that any of you would want to see these guys do.   
> \- Thanks again to my readers, I hope i can continue to entertain.

            He was going to kill whoever was screaming, anyone with half a brain should know better than to be yelling their head off when there were geth with guns around. Not to mention the Krogan he smelled.   
            “I’m gonna shoot them, save their species from the idiot in the genepool.” Said the Turian as he pulled out his pistol and jumped down from the broken elevator. Nihlus was now completely irritated, for the past five minutes all he had been hearing was that infernal feminine voice screaming about how she needed help, how she was stuck.   
            Ashley gave him a sympathetic look as she moved to jump down. It was a complete surprise when Nihlus turned and caught her one armed though, even if he grunted in pain from the action. She was in a full set of heavy armor.           
            “You shouldn’t be doing anything like that!” she scolded quietly, her brown eyes scowling into his green ones. The smirk that crossed his face as he raised a brow plate only made her sigh in exasperation. “Shepard is so going to kill me if you injure yourself.”  
            “Nah, Echo won’t do anything.” He waved his gun around, “Not when I tell her that you came with me voluntarily.”   
            Giving him a weak smile she rose her eyebrows at him, “Well, someone had to make sure the Commander’s favorite turian specter is okay.” She then patted his chest, earning he a pained grunt. He however his held her tighter with his arm and clicked at her.  
            “Is there a reason you’re doing that?” his cheeky nature showing.   
            “Let me go.” she sighed. Her eyes rolling as she thumped him a little harder.   
            His expression pained and he pulled his mandibles tight to his face while his eyes closed tightly, the groan from his throat showing how painful that was. “And if I don’t?”  
            “I will shoot you Nihlus.”  
            “No fun.”  
            “Mmmm, we’re on a mission, it’s not supposed to be fun.” She laughed. He however smiled at her and tilted his head, not moving at all to release her.   
            Ashley sighed and brought up her hand, flicking him right between the eyes. He dropped her from the jolt he received and Ashley staggered while regaining her balance. He rubbed the spot with his thumb and looked at her, pouting of course.   
            “Don’t give me that look, Shepard and the girls in engineering may entertain your counterfeit flirtations. I’m not gonna though, I can see right through it Specter Kryik.” her voice trying and failing to hold back her amusement.   
            Nihlus hid his mild hurt behind a smirk and a shrug, “Can’t blame a guy for trying to have a little fun.”  
  
            It was fun, but he also knew that it wasn’t just playing when he flirted and messed around with her. He felt like a dirty cheating bastard whenever he did it, but there was that part of him that just couldn’t resist the warm buzzing feeling his heart gave whenever she would smile at him.  
            The fact that she thought he was always joking was a good thing he supposed, he knew people were going to question him completely once they knew about he and Saren. They would be even more confused if he came out and admitted he was crushing a little on a human female. No one, aside from Echo maybe, would understand how it worked for him. How sex could be separate from love, love could be for anyone of any species or gender, yet how he was painfully loyal and was extremely against cheating. Love was about the spirits of a person, not who they physically were.   
            Reproducing was never something he had been all that interested in; he liked kids… but had no desire to have his own. No, he was content with just being able to see other people’s children, maybe sometimes watch them. So there wasn’t any point to him focusing on only female turians when that was typically what would come from such a partnership.   
            Male or Female sex, whatever Gender from male, female, neither, all, or even a damned kava bean; it all worked for him, as long as he could feel that spark and they felt the same.   
            That’s why Ashley Williams, an Alliance Military Gunnery Chief, a Human woman could do it for him. How her infection laugh, sweet smile, and warm personality made him feel good inside, especially during this time where he was dealing with a whole other problem; it was something he couldn’t help but want.

            He had been trying to nurse his emotional bruise from her words when the stupid female whatever screamed again. Whirling he squinted and cocked his gun while walking down a collapsed ramp.   
            “SPIRITS! SHUT UP!” he screamed as he came face to face with an Asari suspended in a biotic bubble. “Do you even realize how stupid that is? How anyone could come here and do serious damage to you? There are Geth and Krogan running around here!”   
            The Asari looked at him wide eyed. “Oh! I… um…”  
            “Spit it out! Speak!” he barked.   
            “They came at me earlier, that is how I got into this… situation. My name is Dr. Liara T’Soni.” She informed. Nihlus stood expressionless for a moment before raising both his hands and turning around. He was done for the moment, the screaming and now finding the fact that the cause for his headache was actually the damned doctor that they had come here to find? Ashley could handle it.   
            The human woman looked at him and sighed, “You’re so temperamental.”   
            Nihlus huffed and just crossed his arms, not looking at her.   
            “Is there any way to get you out of that? I’m Ashley Williams with the Normandy SR-1. A Ship under the Command of Commander Shepard.” She then smacked Nihlus’ side with the back of her hand, “This is Specter Kryik, he’s also onboard the Normandy.”  
            “Oh! I see…” contemplated the Asari as she thought about what this could be. “Well the controls are over there, behind me… I don’t know how you’ll get to them though.”   
            “We’ll figure that out, don’t worry about it.” smiled Ashley as she then took a step back and started looking for a way to free the Asari.   
            “No, don’t trouble yourself, I got it…” she grumbled while scowling at Nihlus.   
            Nihlus sighed and looked at her, his expression… a mixture of irritation and hurt. She didn’t understand it, but he just holstered his pistol and then looked up; his eyes following a ventilation shaft. Ashley had been about to speak, saying she would go, however he jumped up and punched in the grating, hauling himself into the shaft now and grunting.   
            “Nihlus! Stop it you’re going to get hurt!”   
            “Too late.”  
            Ashley held her face and stared into the shaft, her eyes following the sounds of him moving. It was a few anxious moments for her before he dropped from the other side, his hand over his chest wound and his shoulders heaving as he leaned forward, his hand holding him up from his knee.   
            “Nihlus?” her voice was shakier than she had thought it would be.  
            Nihlus looked at her through the barrier and gave her a smirk, “Which button?”  
            “That one! On the console to my left.” directed the Asari doctor. Nihlus slammed his hand against the button and the doctor fell back on her rear.   
            Ashley ran forward, the turian straightening as she came near. “Let me see!”  
            “It’s fine!”  
            “No! Nihlus!”  
            “Williams!” his voice commanding, “It’s fine.”   
            Ashley looked up at him, her eyes wide and stubborn, before she broke her gaze at him and sighed, “Yes sir.”  
            That had hurt more than her thinking he was always joking, being “sir” to her. He kept his face straight and his voice commanding though as he looked at the Asari, walking over he offered her a hand. She took it, and he hauled her up… disguising the pain he felt.   
            Ashley turned his head slightly, looking over her shoulder at his back. Why did her heart suddenly ache?


	47. Regrouping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooooooooo sorry it has taken me forever to finally update. I just haven't been inspired to write. I think the writer's block is starting to fade away though. My health has greatly improved as well! I hope this Chapter isn't too horrible... at least entertaining. Please feel free to leave a comment!

            Making her way out from the serpentine cave system hadn’t been as hard as she’d thought it would be. Then again, the distinct smell of Krogan was an easy trail to follow out. Wrex especially, he always smelled like mint and meat… not the most pleasant smell, but it was at the very least distinct.   
            Now she was rolling her eyes as she hid behind cover and listened to Wrex and Garrus count their kills. She didn’t mind that they were at least having fun destroying Geth, she just minded the fact that the more Wrex roared only brought them more Geth. When Tali started cheering she gave up all hope. The baby of the ship had joined in one the comradery.

            “Looks like they found them…” sighed Nihlus as he leaned back against a stacked set of crates and smiled weakly. He was sweating, it was freezing, he knew that was blood that was soaked through his black under armor and was now soaking his hand. He turned away from Ashley and the Asari slightly, his hand peeling away from his chest and the sight confirming that he was once again bleeding.   
            Ashley smiled widely, “Good, I swear if Skipper wasn’t my CO I would totally chew her out.” she laughed. Turning she watched Nihlus turn away from her and then frowned, her eyebrows coming together.  
            “Nah, let her have a little fun…” chuckled Nihlus as he swallowed thickly and closed his eyes, trying to focus.   
            The Asari opened her mouth to speak, but as she looked at the human woman she closed it. What could she say when she could see something in front of her that was so obvious? She didn’t know anything about love or affection really, besides the maternal love she had felt as a child from her own mother. Often she’d remarked that she was wasting her maiden years on all this study, she just wasn’t the wild type however.   
            The Human cared deeply for the Turian Specter. That was an odd combination, however she wasn’t against it in the least bit, on the contrary… it was about time humans and turians started getting along better.   
            Nihlus gave a hiss as he straightened and then grunted, “Let’s go, time to go find my mini me.” Ashley gave an exasperated sigh and a smile before walking next to him, her hand going to the back of his thin waist and gently letting him know she knew he was hurting. He turned his head sharply and looked at her before coughing and then keening slightly. Liara watched the interaction and grinned behind them as she followed, obviously the human woman had no idea how that was sexually flirtatious in turian culture.

            “NIHLUS WHAT THE FUCK?!” screeched Shepard as she saw her… whatever he was. She’d find a proper name for what Nihlus was to her eventually, however he was special and close to her like Family. They just clicked that way.   
            Nihlus gave her a chirp, “What? I came to find my Mini Me!”   
            Shepard narrowed her eyes and stood in front of him, her arms crossed over her chest and her hair standing on end. Nihlus simply gave her a sweet smile and shrugged. She knew better than to think he would sit back and let her stay in potential danger.   
            With a sniff he then grew a Cheshire grin, “Oooh?” he asked before his gaze went to Garrus. The younger turian straightened and pulled his mandibles tightly to his face. Shepard glanced over her shoulder before she looked at Nihlus again and grabbed his face, hand around his mouth and keeping his mandibles closed.   
            “No.” was all she said before she thrust him back. “Thank you Ash, for watching this loser.”   
            “I’m not a los-”  
            “No problem Skipper.” She smiled sweetly as she cut off Nihlus. The male just glowered before sighing and nodding his head.   
            “Maybe… we could now leave this place?” asked Liara as she shrugged. “Is…. That possible?”  
            Shepard turned her gaze to the Asari, “Dr. T’soni?”   
            The blue skinned female nodded, “Yes. I am Dr. Liara T’Soni.”  
            Shepard smiled warmly and extended her hand, “I am Commander Shepard, I’m glad we have found you unharmed. Unfortunately I think we are a bit turned around and have no way to actually get out of here at the moment. That happens when you follow blood thirsty Krogan around a mine.”  
            “Garrus ran off too…” Wrex chuckled. Garrus however was just ignoring the Krogan, his eyes having wandered down from Shepard’s neck to the curve of her waist flowing into her wide hips. He would be lying if he wasn’t thinking about having her small wet human tongue caressing his again while he held that wonderful waist in his hands and felt her small cool body against his.   
            “Garrus.” Shepard’s voice rang.           
            “Hmmm?”  
            “You’re rumbling...”  
            “Huh?” he asked as he finally tore his eyes away from Shepard’s hips and then noticed everyone was looking at him.   
            Nihlus looked like he was going to die from trying to hold in his laughter. Wrex huffed and rolled his eyes while Tali was holding her hand over her filter and giggling. Ashley was of course, clueless. Thankfully the Good doctor wasn’t looking at him, however as he followed her blue eyes he decided he didn’t like where they ended up.   
            “Garrus!”  
            “Yeah?!” he nearly shouted in question, his mind having once again taken him somewhere else. He had never been this distracted before…   
            “Garrus, Are you okay with following Dr. T’soni out of the mines? She knows a way to a Prothean lift that she knows can get us out of here.” asked Shepard again, her voice firm as she held his eyes with her own, making sure that he heard her THIS time.   
            Garrus stood straight again and nodded, “Yes.”   
            Everyone turned away from him again then and he was about to relax, but Shepard still held his gaze. He swallowed thickly and then looked at his feet feeling ashamed of himself.

            The Asari doctor lead the way through the mine as Garrus fell back to the rear. Shepard left Nihlus at the front of the team and slowly fell back with Garrus.   
            They said nothing for a few minutes, Garrus even beginning to keen near silently as he felt the weight of his shame. Shepard stopped when she heard this and gave him a concerned look. He stopped a few steps in front of her and then turned, sensing she wanted his attention. He couldn’t meet her eyes.

            “Gar-”  
            “I’m sorry…” he whispered out.   
            “What? Why?” asked Shepard, her voice shifting from the commanding tone it had been to something sweet sounding. The tone genuinely confused Garrus as his head shot up and he looked at her.   
            “Aren’t you...” he paused and brought his brow plates together, “Aren’t you upset with me? For being distracted?”   
            Shepard raised her eyebrows before smiling widely and shrugging her shoulders up, a small laugh coming from her. “Why?” she asked, “It’s not like my mind isn’t all over the place too.”  
            Garrus was caught off-guard by that, she was actually distracted? “Could have fooled me.” he shrugged.  
            The Commander nodded, “Hard to pay attention when seven feet of amazing turian is so close to me.” with a small sigh she closed the distance and looked up at him, her arms going around his waist and hugging him. She felt the warmth of good feelings as he brought his arms around her and ran his gloved talons through her hair softly. “Don’t worry Garbus, been an eventful day. Let’s just get out of here okay?”  
            “Yes Sheepurd.” he gave that turian smirk she was so fond of and then brought his head down to press against hers. She rose to her toes to push back against him affectionately.   
            Garrus relaxed then, he figured he was probably overreacting. Shepard was generally good natured if not prone to stress. He let her take his hand and lead him back to the rest of the team as he got lost in thought. Not like anyone needed his opinion at the moment.   
            His mind went right back to how the Asari’s eyes had been so full of light as she looked at Shepard; how her eyes had ran the entire length of _his_ Shepard. He’d just managed to get Kaidan off his territory, now he was going to have to deal with this? Internally he wanted to scream at his frustration.   
            It was the gentle squeeze of Shepard’s hand that brought him back; he looked at her small hand holding his and he instantly calmed. Shepard was the one who decided who she wanted to spend time with and call “ _hers_ ”. She’d chosen him… all he had to do was trust her… right?


	48. Sweetie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, another chapter! Finally!

            The sick sound of Shepard’s assault rifle hitting the underside of the other Krogan’s jaw had Garrus’ heart thumping in his chest. How in the spirits did a woman like her ever see him and think he was worthy of her?   
            He remembered then that he wasn’t and sighed, firing his rifle and blowing off the Krogan’s head. Not that right now was exactly the best time for him to be remembering that he was seriously dating out of his league. Especially now with an Asari archeologist interested in Shepard, and even though Kaidan had said he wasn’t interested anymore… Garrus had a feeling that that wasn’t completely over either.   
            All he wanted was to lock himself and Shepard away, have her arms wrapped around his neck again and bury his face into her neck. The feeling he got in his chest when he got to hold her tightly to him like that was incomparable to any other he’d felt before. Shepard was incomparable to any other being in this galaxy to him… maybe that was why he knew he was so lost for her already.

            “NIHLUS GOD DAMN IT WHY ARE YOU BLEEDING?!” screamed Shepard as she got sideswiped by the turian who was pulled her away of the sights of a Geth sniper.   
            Nihlus grunted and rolled onto his back, his chest heaving as he tried to focus his eyesight. “Maybe because I’m out here in combat while sporting a chest wound?”   
            Shepard growled in frustration, “WREX!”   
            “Little busy Shepard!!” screamed the Krogan as he threw back a juggernaut only to have it come back at him, their guns meeting once more as they battled with strength. The Krogan roared and began to glow blue, his biotics flaring before he got to throw back the geth and stood panting, throwing his ruined weapon aside he began to fall back to his biotics.   
            The Commander looked at Nihlus, who was beginning to fade, and felt her heart freeze. She was not going to lose Nihlus, not ever, he was her only family. Even if he was just some dorky over confident specter… he was the only one she’d ever felt such a kinship to, like they really were from the same brood.   
            Her fears dissipated as someone answered her silent prayers. Ashley skidded on her hip over and patted Shepard’s shoulder. “I got him Skipper. I won’t let him die.” She promised with a warm smile. Williams then patted Nihlus’ chest and looked at him, his eyes focusing in on her brown ones.   
            “Come on loser.” She said gently, her voice almost… angelic in the way it seemed to bring him back. “You can’t die now, you have a bunch of people who care deeply for you.”   
            “Williams…” he ground out, his voice a rasp.   
            Ashley nodded and smiled as she took his hand and squeezed it. “We have to get you out of here. Back to the Normandy so Chakwas can patch you up.”   
            Nihlus grunted as the human female struggled and pulled him to standing, she then pulled his long arm around her shoulder and looked at Shepard, “Go be a hero again, I think the doctor needs one.”   
            Shepard watched her eyes going wide before she turned and looked at the Asari, who was screaming and holding her head in her hands. Shepard bolted for the female, throwing herself in front of a Geth with a shotgun. Garrus turned just in time to blow the Geth’s head off before it could turn his girlfriend’s stomach into shredded meat. Of course the doctor needed saving, of course she was going to pull the card where she was innocent and needed to be protected. Just like Kaidan had always been trying to be Shepard’s protector. With a growl he jumped out of cover and ran up to Shepard’s side.   
            “Try not to die Shepard?” he asked with a small smirk. She turned to him while pumping her shotgun and grinned.   
            “What’s wrong Garbus? Worried about me?” she asked with a sly smile. He glowered at her, only to smile when she stopped firing and stood on her toes to kiss his mandible. “Don’t worry about me! I have you to watch my back!”   
            He could only laugh at that, feeling more secure already, that and he had subtly made it known to anyone who happened to not be dying enough to see that they were a thing. He at least hoped the Asari doctor could tell that Shepard was spoken for.

            “RUN!” screamed Shepard as the ceiling started to collapse in. Quickly she ushered her team out of the ruin, making sure they were running to the Normandy, which Joker had landed and two ensigns already at the open shuttle door with guns, urging them to get in.   
            Wrex of course was first, his body charging all the way into the Normandy, while Tali followed closely. Ashley had already made it in and was helping Nihlus onto a gurney. Garrus almost threw the Asari doctor from the mine before he urged Shepard to go. He knew he could outrun this, he was a turian, and they were built for running.   
            Shepard, along with her Turian threw themselves in just as the Normandy was starting to rise and the shuttle door began to close. Panting she just laid there, her head turning to look at Garrus who was pulling himself up to lean against the Mako.   
            “We did it…”   
            “Did what?”  
            “Lived… and made out…”  
            He laughed breathlessly before looking at her, “We did a little more than make out Shepard.”   
            “I know… sweetie.”   
            Garrus groaned before he just reached and took her hand, hauling her up so she could lean against him. In all the confusion, they could take just a handful of moments to savor the warm feeling in their hearts.


	49. Saren's Second Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Look into what is going on with our "villian" at the moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being two weeks late with a post. Things will get a lot quicker! 
> 
> Raise your hand if you recognize her!
> 
> (also for some reason it got deleted .__.; reuploading)

            “So, you escaped your quarters once again?” asked Saren without looking up from the console to which he stood. His large body draped in all black, ominous in the barely there light that lit the entirety of the ship.   
            The _human_ remained silent as she slid from the shadows, wearing her ruined armor still; green and gold eyes looking at the turian as he worked. She simply gave a shrug and kept to her silent nature. This young female was a prisoner of war, something like a trophy that Saren had claimed while raiding a monastery on one of the planets he had nearly destroyed while looking for clues to the conduit. He’d found the data of course, before he’d had to come and deal with this woman.   
            She’d destroyed almost all of his Geth’s mobile units; and still, bloodied and battered, she’d faced down against Benezia. He’d been sure that the Asari matriarch would have easily over powered her. A strong biotic such as herself against this “human” girl and a spear? The human however proved to be faster and nearly had taken her life; of course he’d stepped in and held the woman in stasis.   
            Now he kept her here, as a prisoner. Why? He couldn’t exactly say. However she was proving to be smarter than he originally thought, able to continuously escape from her room and explore Sovereign. The Reaper found this annoying, as he could only ever get a pin on her whenever she deemed it appropriate. Something about her made her immune to his attempts at Indoctrination.   
            Standing straight he turned and looked at her, “Do you require something?” he then asked. She nodded in response. He sighed and took a step forward. Despite her being tall for a human female, he was still at least a foot taller than her. “Well?”  
            Her face grew frustrated before she made a sound much like a huff. Her hand went to her throat, before she made a motion as if her hand could speak. He’d seen humans do it before. His brow plate rose as he watched her. As soon as she finished she touched her throat again and shook her head furiously. He took a moment before his hand went to her throat; surprisingly she didn’t retreat from him; only lifting her chin to give his snowy hand better access.   
            “I see… you are incapable of vocalization?” he asked. She nodded and smiled at him, he found it oddly warming to see her face look so brightly at him. No one had ever looked at him in such a way other than Nihlus.   
            Nihlus, his beloved mate. Saren missed him greatly. For a while he had only felt emptiness, now he could see the sorrow, the pain, the sadness of losing such a love. He couldn’t explain it. However, ever since he had been to that accursed monastery he had been able to feel emotions again. They must’ve done something to him without him realizing it.   
            His mind was pulled from itself by the human woman resting her hand on his wrist. He jerked it from her before glaring. She met his hostile look with a slightly amused one, and he couldn’t help but to deflate. “What is it you require?”   
            She made a sad face and then rubbed her stomach, her finger pointing into her mouth. He scowled, “There is food for the Asari, I believe it is of the same chirality as you.”   
            She made a twisted look, her tongue sticking out. He got the impression she found their choices in food… inedible. “All we have aside from that are my own rations, which you cannot digest without illness.”   
            She perked in interest, despite his warning. He looked down at her curiously before sighing and shaking his head, “Very well, if you insist on risking food poisoning, you may have access to my rations.”   
            What was with this female? Wasn’t she at least a little scared of him? She was a prisoner of his… granted she was becoming increasingly hard to keep as a prisoner. At this point he was willing to let her hand her way with the ship and walk about it as if it were her own personal playground. How much harm could she honestly do on her own?   
            His answer came a few hours later when he was alerted of a fire inside of one of the cargo bays. Upon arriving he could only stare as the human was squaring off against an Asari commando. In her hands she held a chain, on the end a large ball of fabric that presumably once her pants and jacket. Now it was burning oil slowly as she used it as a weapon against the Asari.   
            Instead of acting immediately, he shifted into the shadows of some crates and watched. Of course, if he could find use for her, his mind would be more at ease, rather than just keeping her because he happened to like the way her eyes were continuously bright.   
            She was playing mind games, he noticed this a few seconds in. He didn’t miss the way the Asari was occasionally stealing a glance at the fire, he doubted that the human female had missed it, the way she would wield her weapon before pulling it back from the Asari effectively frightening her into getting sloppy. He eventually tired of the games however. Stepping from his hiding spot he came into the crowd of Asari, to stand next to a contemplated Benezia.   
            “Human, stop with the games… either finish your prey or concede.” He ordered her. The human froze but didn’t remove her gaze from the Asari, who was now visibly shivering. He waited for a moment, “Human!”   
            With a frustrated noise she looked at the Turian standing a few feet from her. He just barely managed to suppress the shiver that threatened to go down his spine in admiration. The Asari however took her looking away rashly, and made a move. It ended with her being struck across the face  at lightning speed with the fiery fabric. She roared in pain, her sisters coming to her aid, only to be stopped by Benezia.   
            “Return to your posts. Tallamira, to the medic with you.” she barked. Her voice holding as much command as Saren’s would have. Saren kept his pale eyes on the human who know stood with her angry eyes aimed at her dirty feet. He moved his mouth to speak, and didn’t fail to notice her flinch slightly at his movements.   
            “H-” he started.  
            Benezia dared to interrupt him, “First off, Saren, she isn’t human. At least, not entirely.”  
            He made a curious noise, “Enlighten me, for she looks human… though I agree the scent is marginally different.”   
            “She is a rarity. Remember back when Cerberus began its darker work?” she asked while looking at him sideways. He made a noise of acknowledgement, only Benezia deserved his politeness in his opinion. “Well, meet one of their projects, or at the very least, the offspring of one.”   
            Saren remained silent as he looked over the human. She was taller; he had witnessed the enhanced strength and reflexes first hand. He’d more than once found her studying the surrounding to which she was cursed to be enveloped in and adapting. He’d chalked it up to her just being more intelligent… then again. Humans were easy to indoctrinate, why wasn’t she yet?   
            “Very well.” was all he said, needing to think on the matter. He moved to leave, stopping when he saw her head rise, those eyes begging him to say something. With a slightly amused chuff, he turned his back on her. Benezia watched as the woman smiled and then quickly fell into step behind him.   
            For the first time in many months, she smiled, and gave a laugh. Though it was cut short by her realization at the absurdity of what had just happened. She looked to Saren and his new smaller shadow leaving, “Perhaps consider clothing for her Saren? I cannot guarantee that your troops nor mine would not be tempted by her state of undress.”   
            “Handle it Benezia, I don’t have time for such things.” He called back, however she did catch how he just ever so slightly stopped for the newest being in their presence to walk at his side. Benezia took a deep breath and laughed behind her sleeve, she decided then that it would be a new pleasure of hers to remember feelings such as this. Who knew? She may experience more while witnessing Saren and the mystery.  

 

(Pssst! Want to have a look at Aine? She already has art done by yours truely. --> [xx](http://x-nolights.tumblr.com/post/146932942313/i-drood-a-character-of-mine-aine) )


	50. unwanted attention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Echo... went from being nearly invisible to suddenly a hot commodity.

            The things that had happened to her recently left Shepard feeling more than a little worn down. What was with Dr. T’Soni and those puppy eyes? She didn’t understand why one minute no one ever looked at her and the next she had a human male, an Asari, and her cute and sexy bird brain. When would things ever get easy for her? Why couldn’t it just be Garrus who wanted to pin her to the wall and invade her mouth with his tongue.  
            Now there was an idea… The thought of getting a little hot and heavy with Garrus seemed extremely good at the moment. She would never lie to herself nor anyone else that the way his hands had felt on her skin had made her feel as if she were on fire, and in a good way. She was about to stand from her desk when Nihlus walked in, being supported by Ashley and Dr. Chakwas.  
            “Oh no, what’d loser do to himself?” asked Shepard as she looked at the older turian on board and sighed heavily.  
            Ashley looked livid; however she could only take a deep breath and then stop herself from speaking yet again. It was Karin who answered. “He basically just set himself back two weeks of healing.” her tone was slightly amused, more annoyed as she helped the turian to the bed and began to stack the pillows so he could lay down.  
            “So… shouldn’t he be in the Med bay? Not my cabin?” asked Shepard as she walked over to Nihlus and looked down at him. Her brown eyes a little amused to see him completely plastered on sedatives.  
            Ashley finally spoke, “He started throwing one of his hissy fits when I tried to convince him to stay in there. You don’t mind do you Skipper? Your cabin is close to the Med bay and he likes it in here.” she then looked at the turian, her expression soft and worried for him. Shepard took note of this before smiling to herself, it was good to see that Ashley had already seemed to be over her xenophobia.  
            “Yeah, I’ll just find some hidey hole somewhere, curl up. Ever since this one incident on earth I have always felt better sleeping somewhere up high and confined.” she admitted as she moved to her closet and grabbed a blanket. “Keep an eye on him will you? I can’t guarantee I won’t punch him as soon as he’s lucid.”  
            “What makes you think I can keep myself from hurting him?” asked Ashley with a smirk.  
            Shepard looked over her shoulder at her and rose an eyebrow, “Women’s intuition we’ll call it?” Ashley in turn blushed heavily and shot her face away from the commanding officer’s gaze. “He’s a good guy Ashley, may not be human, but good men are hard to find regardless of species.”  
            Ashley didn’t answer, she just sighed before looking at Nihlus and taking his hand as she sat on the edge of the bed. It didn’t take a PHD to see that they had something growing between them. Nihlus was an asshole, he liked to pull pranks and be continuously cheeky, however he kept his fun to a minimum with Ashley, stopping at mere jokes that were about cultural differences.  
            Shepard then looked at Chakwas and left the room with her to get the details on what Nihlus was going to need in terms of medicine and his care. She of course would get whatever he needed, Nihlus was like the older brother she’d never asked for but loved despite the fact he was such an enigma.

Once done speaking Shepard turned to leave the medical bay, only to walk right into the Asari. “Oh, good evening Dr. T’Soni.” said Shepard as she held the Asari at arm’s length.  
            “Hello Shepard.” Grinned Liara as she looked up at the female. “I was wondering if you would perhaps come to see me.”  
            Shepard felt the awkwardness rise up her spine… “Uh, Sure… yeah I wanted to check on you after you did that howdy doody black eyes turn my brain to mush thing.”  
            Liara looked confused, however she shook it off, “I am much better now that I have rested. How are you? You seem to be better; I deeply apologize for any of the pain or discomfort you may have felt after having melded with you.”  
            “Oh… I’m er… fine…” shrugged Shepard before she noticed she was still holding Liara, Quickly she withdrew her hands and shoved them into her pockets. “Yeah no, I just grabbed a cup of Kava and things were then fine. Caffeine cures all.” She laughed nervously, before looking at her feet.  
            “You drink Dextro Kava?” asked Liara as she stood wide eyed. Shepard wanted to believe it was shock, but the way she seemed to light up clued her in all the more into the fact Liara was beginning to think she was the bees’ knees.  
            Slowly, she nodded her head, “Uh… yeah. I usually have my morning cup and breakfast with everyone. We all meet around o’five hundred hours. You should join us.” She then looked away and scratched the back of her head before rubbing her neck, “Though Nihlus and Ashley probably won’t be around then for a while… he’s in bad shape. I also wouldn’t want to pull her from his side.”  
            “Yes, it would be unkind to pull them apart, especially when turians heal much better when surrounded by loved ones. He seems rather attached to Miss Williams.” observed Liara as she crossed her arms, her left hand coming up and supporting her jaw on her thumb as she thought.  
            “Hey, this ain’t to be weird or nothin’ but military fold normally appreciate it more if you call them by title instead of a sex based pronoun.” Offered Shepard, “Like how I call you Dr. T’Soni instead of Miss T’Soni.”  
            “Oh! My apologies! Though… I would be much happier if you were to call me Liara instead.” She grinned, her face warm and bright.  
            Shepard internally groaned. Once upon a time, she would have found that sweet smile and these ultra-feminine charms irresistible. However… now she was used to snarky cute dorky Garbus. She didn’t know what it was about him that made him so irresistible to her, but either way… she was his.  
            “It’s alright Doctor T- Liara…” She caught herself in time. “Well, I had better get moving, lots to do… running a ship and all…” she laughed, her tone exceptionally nervous as she side stepped the Asari and bolted from the medical bay.  
            Liara couldn’t help but watch after her longingly. What was it about Shepard that had her so enchanted? Was it the fact she seemed like an unstoppable force? Maybe it was the way she held herself? Was it how everyone seemed to both love and respect her? She didn’t know and was determined to fine out… perhaps get closer to Shepard while she was at it.

            “Commander!”  
            Shepard groaned as she stopped mid step and turned around. Kaidan at his usual post was waving at her, looking bright and friendly as usual. She sighed to herself, frustrated that everyone and their mother seemed to want to keep her from molesting her turian…  
            “Yes Lieutenant?” asked the commander as she walked over to him.  
            Kaidan smiled warmly, “I don’t mean to be bothering you Ma’am. I got something I ordered in today, and I had gotten it for you.” He told her as his face flushed. Shepard barely kept herself from reeling back at the attraction pheromones she was getting slapped across the face with from him.  
            “Oh… uh… me?” she asked. Poor Echo was confused as to why he of all people would be buying her something. She wasn’t going to sleep with him.  
            “Yeah, I know how you hate your helmet, so I had this com unit made for you. Just so when you don’t have to wear your helmet you can still be in touch easily.” He shrugged as he held out the little box for her.  
            Shepard took it, “Wow, Kaidan… that’s very thoughtful of you. Completely unnecessary, but thoughtful.” She smiled gently then as she opened up the box to see the earrings she had been admiring that day on the Citadel. She stared at them, wide eyed…  
            “Erh… Commander?” asked Kaidan.  
            Shepard had remembered seeing these; she had been looking at them with Garrus. More than once she had daydreamed about him giving them to her and then the two of them nuzzling together on his couch again. Hearing Kaidan speak she shook herself from the shock and looked at him. “Oh! Thank you Kaidan… this is a very thoughtful and useful gift.” She smiled.  
            Kaidan then grinned wider and nodded, “No problem Commander, just trying to be helpful.” He told her before saluting her and then going back to his work with a “Ma’am.”  
            Shepard turned while looking at the earrings, she pocketed them none the less and then quickly made her way to the Elevator. More than ever now she wanted to be held by that bird brain.


	51. Accidentally fried

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry i am taking forever to update this!! Please forgive me!

            “Now, this is a good feeling.” smirked Garrus as he continued to stare at the screen while he felt small cool human hands wrap around his middle.  He liked this whole thing about their type of relationship being out in the open now. Not that everyone knew because no one from the groundside teams was gossiping, but it did mean he didn’t have to watch every step he took around Shepard anymore.   
            “Mmhmmm.” whimpered Shepard as she rested her cheek against the very hard armor that encased her boyfriend. Sometimes she didn’t know what to do with herself, why was she so afraid of telling someone to just shove off? She was someone who had survived a lifetime of fighting, yet here she was… all sad and weak around her alien boyfriend.   
            “What’s up?” he asked as he turned around, her arms releasing him as she stood and looked down at her feet. “Shepard?” he then asked again.   
            Her brows furrowed before she became exasperated with herself, arms going in the air before slamming down. Her stance going to the usual one she wore when stressing: fingertips to forehead, arm across, elbow on that, left foot going on toe, and her back curving. The turian eyed her quizzically before he jumped at the growling sound she began to make.   
            It took him chuffing at her, his waist bending so he could look up into her face, blue meeting brown. It was soft purr that got her to take a deep breath and hold her face for a moment. He straightened and waited, knowing she would speak in her own time.   
            Finally after seeming to stew over something in her mind, her lip now bleeding from her chewing on it, she reached into her pocket and held out the gift from Kaidan. Garrus took it and looked at it in his hand, at first he was confused before he inhaled deeply and jolted; the scent of Alenko hitting him as if he’d been slapped out of nowhere.   
            “You know, I may be able to make these work more efficiently.” hummed Garrus as he turned around and set them on an electronic pulse plate.   
            “What?” asked Shepard, her voice raising a pitch from the shock of him not being angry.   
            Garrus held up a finger for her before he began typing at his station again, suddenly there was a small flash, a sizzle and Garrus waved away some smoke. “Awww, I must’ve fried them on mistake, I am so sorry Shepard.” He then looked at her pointedly and smirked as he swept the ruined gift into the trash bin and leaned back against the terminal, his arms crossing.   
            She couldn’t hold it in, her face cracked into a wide grin and she started laughing. The turian joined her before he reached for her hand and pulled her to lean against him. Still chuckling he met his forehead to hers and sighed contently.   
            “You’re terrible.”  
            “You like that about me.”   
            “I do. I like everything about you.” She whispered as her head lifted ever so slightly and her eyes closed. Garrus picked up on the moment and turned slightly to press his mouth plates to her lips. He could honestly say, as long as it was Shepard… he didn’t have anything against this kissing thing… he could even see himself really loving it later on.   
            “Well, I like everything about you.” His voice purred out for her, the tone as if it were liquid silk.   
            “Really?” she asked with a small smile and a gleam in her eye as her hands went around him once again. “What do you like about me Garbus?”   
            Garrus froze for a split second; he hadn’t been prepared to actually name things. However he recovered, “Like I said, everything Sheepurd.”   
            “Name some things.”   
            “Uh…” Garrus stumbled before he looked up and sighed, “Well I…”   
            Shepard snickered against his chest as she rested her chin there and looked up at him. “It’s okay, I know.”  
            “You did that on purpose.”   
            “Yup.” she chimed before hugging him tighter and earning herself a purr.   
            Garrus ran a gloved hand over her head before straightening and pulling her away from him ever so slightly. His head once again touching hers before he nestled against her nose bridge. “Work time.”   
            “Do I have to?” whined Shepard as she made an overly dramatic tragedy face and threw her hands up, her arms then crossing and a pout across her face.   
            “Unfortunately, we have a galaxy to save remember?” he asked with a small smirk and his hand tentatively reaching for her face.   
            Her hands gripped his much larger one and held it to her cheek. “Fine…” she huffed before nuzzling into his glove and then sighing. Reluctantly, she then began to walk backwards before turning and leaving.   
            Garrus let a very small sigh leave his chest as he turned back to calibrating the Mako’s gun.   
            “Awwww, that was sweet! Now reel it in you’re stinking up the place!” called Wrex. He’d been holding in his booming laughter out of respect for Shepard. Garrus? He had no such luck.   
            “SHUT UP!” squawked Garrus as his head hit the terminal, “Angry, jealous, violent, blood thirsty old man…” he grumbled. He’d been so excited to see her that he’d forgotten that Wrex was still here in the shuttle bay. Never mind that he’d completely overlooked the fact that the requisitions officer was there too.   
            “Make me fledgling!” barked back Wrex from his seat as he just lounged on a pile of crates.   
            “I will put a bullet between your eyes Wrex!” called Garrus as he jumped up and looked over the Mako at the Krogan, who narrowed his eyes at him. It really was all good teasing… but this was just part of it now, Garrus wished he could regret outing his relationship with Shepard. That however was impossible.


	52. Garbus... Hold me Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have some more fluffy... and a little hot floof.

            His breath against her skin felt as if warmth was enveloping her worn body. Shepard gave a happy hum as she lifted her arms above her head and looked up at Garrus as he crawled up her body, leaving small nips over her exposed skin. He met her gaze and gave her such an affectionate look that she didn’t know how her heart had survived it, a small moment of lightning that left her body tingling from her scalp to her toes.   
            Garrus purred deeply as he lowered his head to nuzzle against her, the feeling of her smooth soft skin touching his hide made him feel as if there were a trillion moths in his gut. His heart had his head feeling bright and clouded while his brain powered down enough that he could only focus in on Shepard and her figure below him.   
            They were the last ones to bed; Shepard having left her room to Nihlus’ recovery meant that she was probably going to be staying all night with him. That thought left him feeling elated and as if he could walk amongst the galaxies. _She_ had him feeling like he was running around like a love sick fledgling.   
            Shepard held his head with both her hands gently, and he tilted his mandible into her palm, ever so gentle was her touch as she ran over his colony markings with her thumbs. He closed his eyes for a second; taking in the heaven sent feelings before he just barely opened them and looked at her.   
            She was beautiful, he wasn’t versed in human aesthetics, but she was beautiful to him. He loved the way her whole face lit up with her smile, how her large eyes were so bright and expressive. He felt himself slide slowly into delirium every time she touched any part of him with those soft lips. The feeling he got when he ran his hands over her head and played with her short, unruly, funny fringe pulled sounds from him he didn’t know he could make.   
            “What are you thinking about?” asked Shepard as she looked up at him with those eyes, the ones that had him weak in the knees and heart beating faster.   
            Gently, he ran his hand up her bare leg and over her fabric covered him, under her t-shirt and up her side, his hand stopping and holding onto her rib cage as he just gazed at her, “You.”   
            “Me?”  
            “Yeah…you.”   
            “What about me?”   
            He didn’t say a word then, only pressing his mouth plates to her lips and then seeking entry with his tongue. Shepard of course let him, her own tongue meeting his as she melted into being kissed by a Turian who only learned how to do this sort of action mere hours ago. “Quick learner” was a word that could be used to describe Garrus, most definitely.   
            Garrus tread lightly, his hands exploring but not going anywhere that he didn’t think she’d be okay with. Eventually he grew more comfortable as their kisses grew hotter and he could smell her arousal. When her hand met that sensitive spot at the back of his neck he sighed into her mouth and hooked a talon into her panties.   
            Fear shot through her in a way that Shepard had almost forgotten about. Freezing she even held her breath as her eyes went wide and she found herself gripping onto Garrus’ arm tightly.   
            Immediately he stopped and pulling his hand from her hip to come around and hold her to him. He’d figured she may be okay with this, since what had happened in the mine… however he’d guessed wrong and now he silently cursed himself. “Shepard?” he then asked finally as her grip loosened on his arm.   
            “Do you want me to go?” he asked softly, the idea made his heart ache… but he didn’t want to push her in any unwanted way. He may not have known her history, or what she’d been through… but he could see the signs of someone who had been abused as clear as daylight. Shepard fit the bill when it came down to it, even if she was a lot more comfortable with him than she was around other humans.   
            “No.” she barely got out as he felt her jaw clench against his neck. He buried his face into her hair and held her tighter then. Unsaid, he told her he wouldn’t leave then.   
            “Talk to me?” he asked gently. Yes, this was a little odd, considering they were mostly unclothed and had been well on their way into getting intimate further. However… sometimes just being there for the person one could feel this way for was more important.   
            He settled her down and then got comfortable next to her. Relief flooded through him as she scooted into his chest and settled against him, how they usually slept. Lovingly, he ran his talons through her short fringe and just waited for her to answer him.   
            Shepard took a long time to swallow down the bile that had risen in her throat. She didn’t know how her mind could differentiate between making it to third base in a mine but the idea of going all the way with the same person send a lance of cold through her spine.   
            “I was an orphan.” she whispered as her fingers found his dog-tags. “I don’t remember a whole lot of anything before someone took me in… but I was alone… and all I could think in my small mind was _survive._ ”   
            Garrus’ movement to press his mouth plates to her head soothed her and encouraged her to talk. “I was a happy kid; Papa Sug took good care of me. I learned a lot, was fed, clothed, and loved… Other children were mean to me… but I didn’t really acknowledge it. I knew I was different, I could tell by the way they responded to things and the comparison to how I did. I was stronger, faster, I learned quicker… I wasn’t normal.” She began as her eyes closed.   
            “Everything was great until they killed him… just shot him right in the stomach. Right there on the dock as if life had no meaning to them.” Her voice filled with the same shock she’d felt that day, a seasoned solider like herself speaking like that was so odd.   
            “You’ve probably seen it… how hard it is for a kid to survive. I did okay out in the wilds on Earth… It was when I went into the city that I struggled.” Her hand balled into a fist. Garrus shifted a little and pulled her in tighter to him, he was still listening.   
            “The Reds took me; I was a pickpocket for a few months until I showed signs of becoming a woman. That’s when it started…” her voice wavered, but stilled when Garrus gave her a soft purr and nuzzled her temple. She felt safe with a giant turian holding her so tightly to him, as if she was treasured.   
            “My first time was with a guy who was at least twenty years older than me…” she gave a cold laugh and felt Garrus tense. His eyes shut tightly as he curled his arms around her tighter, his hands now holding the back of her head and her hip. As much as he didn’t want to hear it, he forced himself to listen, She-Echo needed it.  
            “There’s a lot of sick people out there who get off on the idea of raping a little girl… how messed up is that?” she asked as her voice grew thick and she couldn’t fight back the trembling any longer. “I went through that for years before I broke out, a friend helped me. Six months on the run before this woman saw me beat off this guy and asked my age.” Garrus felt the tears on his neck but just gave a small sound of acknowledgement. “I joined the military that day, as much as my friend begged me not to… I didn’t want to be running anymore. I didn’t want to be so scared, I wanted to be strong.”   
            “You are strong.” whispered Garrus as he pressed his nose bridge against hers. “Shepard… I’m never going to throw myself on you. I won’t force you to want to be with me.”  
            “I know… I just… I felt that you should know why…” Garrus pushed into her touch gently. “You should know why sometimes I don’t want to be touched, or how sometimes I’ll be brave and others I will be terrified.”   
            He understood; why wouldn’t he? He’d worked with thousands of women who’d had similar experiences. He had been a cop, and unfortunately… even on the citadel there was crime like that. “As long as you at least let me hold your hand…” he said softly. It was a selfish request, he knew that… but the idea of her never wanting him to touch her hurt more than he thought it would.   
            Shepard gave a watery laugh and nuzzled against him firmly, “I like you a lot Garrus, and you can always do a little more than hold my hand. I’ve grown pretty fond of these head nuzzles.”   
            His laugh set her fully at ease, “I like you too Sheepard… more than a lot.” He admitted as he reached and pulled the blanket around them.   
            “Garbus? Will you hold me all night?” she asked as she swallowed thickly and turned away from his questioning look.   
            “I won’t ever let you go, not as long as you want to be here.” He muttered as he tilted his head and found her mouth. Shepard melted into him again and he found himself happy to do the same, to be a pile of over the moon liquid turian with the one woman who had ever made him feel like this.   
            When she finally pulled from the kiss Shepard was flushed and panting slightly. Her arms went around his head and her forehead touched his. “Thank you.”   
            Garrus smiled softly, “I’m always here Shepard…” he paused then and sighed while closing his eyes. “No matter what, I won’t let you hurt… Echo.”   
            While she teared up and settled against him, she felt herself laughing at her own stupidity. She’d never even let Sophie in after years of Dating as much as she’d just let Garrus in. How was it that she felt so safe being held by a scary, plated, and rough alien? She didn’t know… but Garrus just so naturally made her feel safe. He made her feel warm, safe, loved, protected, powerful, vulnerable, like she really could find her way through everything as long as he was there.   
            Garrus was there, he wouldn’t admit it, but he knew he was already in deep for Shepard. All he could do was hope for the best and pray to the spirits that she felt the same way. Lucky for him, and unbeknownst to him, she was in just as deep.


	53. I'll always be good to you... Sheepurd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried at porn again... I'm not good at it, but I try.

            “Mmrrrmmmhhh” groaned Shepard as she pulled the blanket over her head and nuzzled further into what she recognized to be soft, warm, turian hide. Garrus in turn gave out a sleepy chuff as his arms just snaked around her and held her tighter to him. He didn’t know when this became the normal, but curling up to tightly together was now the only way he could actually get some rest. Part of it was Shepard and him squeezing into the back seat of the Mako, which was kind of roomy if one sat in there properly. Sleeping however? Not even close to something he’d recommend. It was where he got to be with his girlfriend though, so he wasn’t about to complain.   
            “No... more speeps…” she whined as she heard Garrus’ Omni-tool going off. The male turian growled deep in his throat before pressing his mouth plates to her forehead and pulling the buzzing arm up. He looked at it, a message from someone or other, he opened it, read it, then deleted it without bothering to try and remember. Curse whoever was trying to pull him from bliss.  
            Garrus then chuffed and held Shepard to him again, her leg coming up and hooking around his waist and resting on his prominent hip ridge. Her contented sigh told him to ignore everything and go back to sleep, which he was more than happy to oblige. Best way to wake up in his opinion; having Shepard barely clothed and clinging to him, her face against his throat.   
            Finally Shepard began to wake, Garrus already having been up for about ten minutes looked down at her with affectionate eyes. “Morning.”   
            “Gud morking…” she yawned before sliding her arm under his and gripping his shoulder from behind, her face going back to his neck. “speepy.” She whined.   
            Garrus didn’t think he would ever get tired of hearing her try to be a coherent human being in the morning. “What? Don’t want kava?” he asked as he pressed his mouth plates to her forehead and fluttered his mandibles.   
            Shepard whined, “Mmmmmm.” before she looked up at him, her lips pecking at the soft hide under his chin. “Go git meh soom.”   
            “That would require pants…” groaned Garrus as he looked under the blanket to see just his turian boxer briefs. “I don’t know if I am ready to get on pants…”   
            “Noo pahnts perty” she moaned as she placed his hand on her ass. He could only begin to laugh and nuzzled against her. She did give a small chuckle though when he tested his boundaries and squeezed the soft flesh however.   
            “I’m not against that.” he smirked, “Not in the least bit.” He added with a long, slow, sweeping motion over her rear.   
            “Mmmm~” she purred for him as she pulled his head down and kissed him; her tongue slowly gliding against his. He found himself quickly losing his coherent though as she ran her hand down his arm and to his waist where she gave a firm squeeze.   
            He wasn’t expecting her to start touching him like she was; He did end up jumping when her hand found its way around him and returned the motion of squeezing his gluteal muscles. He couldn’t tell if he liked it or not, but the sudden image of him repeatedly burying himself in her while she groped his backside. It took a lot of willpower for him to not let his plates shift.   
            Shepard herself gave a small laugh as she moved her hands to hold his head. “Want to fool around a bit?” she asked, clearly nearing towards full alertness now.   
            “Yeah.” He breathlessly whispered into her ear as he turned so she was under him. He did want to get the chance to take the lead. As much as he liked the Idea of Shepard leading… it was his turn to properly explore.   
            It started with a slow, heat-filled kiss; that went to his mouth plates and teeth tenderly nipping down her jaw, to her neck, where he toyed with the idea of maybe someday giving a good mark there. He settled for giving her a firm nip, which excited him all the more. She responded to it by sighing and arching up into him.   
            A small groan escaped him before he continued, his tongue slowly tracing her pulse down to where her keel bone would be. Slowly, he moved and lifted her t-shirt, pleasantly greeted by those appealing, if not slightly strange and alien to him, breasts.   
            He’d figured out they were sensitive; he’d figured out that she’d liked being touched there. Though how much did she like being touched here? And for how long? He was intending to find out.   
            Gently he ran his hands up from her waist and cupped each mound, it surprised him that he found himself enjoying this so far. The shiver that came from her made him have to swallow down his quickly appearing saliva. Did she know how much she turned him on? Probably not... he doubted she’d had that conversation with Nihlus, as close as they were.   
            Testing he circled the tip of his tongue around the left… what was it called? A mipple? A nipple? Yeah, nipple was the right word. He figured he was doing the right thing when her hands held his head and massaged at that sweet spot under his fringe. The encouragement worked, and he continued, giving both of the rose colored peaks ample attention before he tested his luck again and took one in his mouth plates, applying pressure and just barely pulling before he licked her again.   
            Shepard couldn’t believe she was actually coming apart from this sort of thing. She’d never been much into being toyed with, considering she didn’t really feel much anywhere. However Garrus had her feeling as if her whole body was hypersensitive and she was on fire yet again. How was it that humans left her almost bored in bed, but the Alien who was intent on taking her xeno-V card was doing all the right things?   
            She couldn’t bring herself to care as he circled her nipples, one with his tongue and the other with that ridiculously good thumb talon. Panting she looked up at the hood of the Mako and gave a whimper, her thighs tightening.   
            Garrus looked at her, his plates nearly slammed open at the look on her face. How she was beautifully flushed, her mouth open ever so slightly and panting. Those bright brown eyed half lidded and fogged off into the distance. He couldn’t help himself as he moved her thigh so he could slide in between her legs.   
            As if on cue Shepard squeezed his waist with her thighs and he moaned into her chest, his tongue then tracing up and between her breasts. He couldn’t get enough of her at this moment, he needed to get some form of release otherwise he may not be able to control himself later on.   
            “Shepard… Can I…” he stopped as she pulled his head up to kiss her, her tongue coaxing his from his mouth with a wanton sigh. He furrowed his brow plates before panting and firmly pressing his head against hers. She responded by giving a slow firm grind of her sex against his barely sheathed cock.   
            “Fuck.” He whined as he ground back against her, his left hand coming up to caress her face while his right went for her hip so he could angle himself to move against her just right. Her arms went around his neck and she continued to kiss him, effectively putting all his senses into overdrive at the sensations.   
            Breaking the kiss, Shepard turned her head to the side, nosing into his palm as his mouth then went to her neck. She wanted more, and damn the small piece of fabric keeping him from touching her burning sex with his own. Moving a hand she went between them her hand pulling at the cotton crotch of her panties and moving it to the side.   
            Garrus caught on quickly, and he couldn’t think of anything other than how elated he would be to be able to be so intimate with her. He was on the verge of delirium as he moved a hand between them and pulled open the slit in his boxer briefs to free his near painful erection. His hand touched her sex then and he found what little was exposed to be inadequate. Quickly he just slide a horizontal cut in the crotch and made it possible for his flesh to grind against her.   
            Her needy whine and the way she bit her lip gave him all the encouragement he needed to spread her folds and grind against her. The way the swollen flesh seemed to hug his member pulled a high pitched moan from him as he nosed into her neck, taking in the hyper sweet scent of her wanting him.   
            Every ridge on his shaft was gliding over her clit, leaving her thighs shivering around his waist near constantly. He was barely able to keep it together as she held his shoulders tightly and panted into his aural canal.   
            Finally Shepard froze and gave a quiet squeal as her peak was reached. Garrus held her tighter to him as he ground against her a few more times before he released, effectively making the already lewd sounds coming from between them worse.   
            Garrus rested his head against hers as he panted, gently nuzzling her as she ran her hands down his back and pecked lovingly at his mouth plated. He responded with small nips and loving chuffs of affection for her. He could honestly admit, Afterglow cuddling was a really good part of all this with Shepard. He could see himself doing this a lot more in the future, as long as she was willing.   
            “What a way to start the day.” Giggled Shepard as she kissed him again, still basking in the ambiance that was between them.   
            Her turian boyfriend nodded and purred into her mouth as he kissed her, earning himself another giggle as he then pressed his mouth plates to her cheek and fluttered his mandibles. “I wouldn’t mind making this a regular thing.”   
            “Maybe, if you’re like, really super good to me.” laughed Shepard as she nuzzled against him.   
            “I’ll always be good to you Sheepurd.” Laughed Garrus as he looked at her softly, “I promise … Echo.”   
            Shepard could honestly say she’d never felt so loved and warm inside. The fact that it was a turian who made her feel that like this slightly alarmed her. However… she put that to the back of her mind and rewarded his devotion with a love filled kiss. Maybe soon she could tell him how she really felt.


	54. Time to go back to saving the universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Filler until i get a full chapter out continuing the story. This was just to bring everyone back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't touched this story in over a year... and I am... sorry that it's been that long. 
> 
> Sorry to my readers who loved this story, hopefully you will still love it as it continues from here on out. 
> 
> Sorry to the characters who I feel i almost completely abandoned. 
> 
> Sorry to myself... that i let relationships and other hardships get in the way of me doing something that made me so happy as to write this...
> 
> Here's to coming back to saving the universe!

                Reviewing how her life had been before she’d met Garrus was something Shepard found herself doing often now. She’d known him four months now… and save for the handful of weeks that they had been “over” she’d been happily in his companionship.   
                She smiled into her cup of kava as her eyes watched him play a card game with Nihlus, the both reclining back on chairs, Garrus’ bare feet up on the end corner of the table while Nihlus sat with his legs crossed under him. IT was good, to see her two favorite men getting along. Garrus of course as the one person she could see giving her heart to forever… while Nihlus was the family she had never had.   
                The crew seemed to be getting along, she was surprised as to how well they all were doing so. Wrex himself was flopped back into a giant beanbag chair they’d picked up in the wards. His head sporting massive headphones while he watched one of her old earth vids. Tali was sitting on the counter chatting with Kaidan as he prepared the Levo dinner, she herself was waiting on her own Dextro meal to be heated up. All in all, Shepard found her heart clenching a little as she watched everyone.   
                Ashley of course was near Nihlus, the two of them becoming closer with every passing second. She watched as the dark-haired soldier even dared to lean her cheek on the bare shoulder of the specter, her brown eyes looking at his cards. What made Shepard give a warm smile was the fact that Nihlus’ eyes shot to look at her before he gave his own small smile.   
                Wounds were healing… that was something Shepard was used to, but she’d never thought she’d see it in front of her eyes. Even Liara, with her crush on Shepard was partaking in the group. Her hands holding a mug of warm honey tea as she watched the game the two turians were playing.

                While everyone was distracted, Shepard took her chance and slithered from her lurking corner and back into the captain’s cabin. Sitting down, she sighed heavily and gave a weak smile at the turn of events so far. Who would have ever guessed that her and these people could come together somehow?  
                She’d been lonely, completely and utterly encased in a darkness of solitude and despair. She’d been without a single ounce of stable footing… the only thing she could have ever kept counting on was that the universe was going to continue needing people to shoot other people.   
                The fact that she could now say that there were people who would honestly miss her if something were to happen? That was a new thing in and of itself… to have that Solidarity, the stability of being loved. She felt it run through her body like a warm wave that set her on fire as well as chilled her heart.   
                This was the moment that she realized she would never be able to tear through things recklessly again. She couldn’t send herself through fire without a care for her wellbeing anymore… There were people who would hurt at her injury.

 

                Garrus, someone she knew she had never felt so deeply for as she did him. Just a look and that turian smirk gave her the courage to take on the world…

 

Chuckling, she rubbed her face with both hands and leaned back in her chair. After a few more moments to enjoy the realization… she laughed softly and stood up. Time to continue saving the universe...


	55. Oh... Shut it Shepard...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beginning of the Noveria Arc. 
> 
> Plus some heart to hearts and girl talk.

                “You couldn’t pay me enough to set foot on that planet.” Snorted Nihlus as he threw the datapad back across the table. He was sitting at with Shepard and the rest of the group crew. “Don’t get me wrong Echo, I love you, but I was IN love with Saren and he had the hardest time getting me to step foot onto Noveria.”   
                She scowled at him before her eyes narrowed, “Fine, then who would like to go with me?”   
                Wrex hummed deeply to himself, “I’m not too sure I would be much help in the cold. Tends to make me sleepy. Besides, I’m still nursing the sprained shoulder from when you made us go up against Blake.”   
                “Oh Please! Wrex you got to go head to head with about fifty mercs armed only with just your shotgun.” She replied before rolling her eyes at him, “Just for that I should make you come with me.” She then stood and walked around the table. “All of you are my companions and friends, all of us have fought together at some point or another. We don’t know if any fighting will go down on the glacier of a conglomerate down there… but I won’t make anyone go like I do when we’re hunting the smaller planets.” Her voice was even and her gaze soft. “But I implore you all, please, someone volunteer.”   
                True as ever, Garrus looked at her and gave a gentle Turian smile, “Turians don’t like the cold Shepard… but I’m right behind you.” The Commander could only smile back at him, of course Garrus was right there with her, ever since he had looked after her on the Citadel, and their strange sort of relationship had begun she knew she could count on him.   


                “We are… going after my mother… correct?” asked Liara as she stood from her seat. “Shepard… if I may, I would like very much to accompany you on this mission. Seeing as she is my mother I may be able to help.”  
                Nihlus clicked his mandibles before leaning his head back and looking at Shepard, who had moved to behind him and was now leaning on the back of his chair. “Is that wise? May be too personal?” he asked.  
                Shepard herself settled her gaze on Liara and studied her for a moment. Was Shepard fond of Liara? Not particularly, but she didn’t dislike her. There was the serious question as to if Liara was going to be a help or hinderance to this mission, it being her mother and all. “Liara, on this mission, I can’t guarantee that something that could put you into emotional distress won’t happen…”   
                “I understand Shepard.” She nodded, “However, I still wish to help. Please, allow me to accompany you and Mr. Vakarian.”  
                Nihlus brought his chair back to upright before he stood with his hands up, “I don’t think this is the wisest decision, but it’s your call in the end Shepard.” He spoke firmly to her, his eyes giving an equally solid stare. “When things involve family… things tend to get a little messier.”  
                “Oh? Like when you’re robo chicken boyfriend shot you in the chest?” asked Shepard as she crossed her arms. Nihlus looked at her pointedly before clicking a mandible at her, “Okay, that was a lot messier… either way, I know you understand my point.” He sighed before moving off and back into the captain’s quarters to rest. He may have come a long way in his healing, but he was still not fit for active combat.   
                “Alright…” sighed Shepard, the exhaustion she felt creeping minutely into her voice. “Joker? ETA on Noveria?”   
                “Six hours Shepard.” The flat tone of the pilot sounded through the intercom.  
                The wild haired woman ran a hand through said hair before she looked at Liara, “Alright, you heard him, six hours and boots hit turf.”   
                “Thank you, Shepard.” Smiled Liara as she then made her way back into her place of study, in the back of the medical bay. 

                She felt it before anything, “Yes Ashley?” she asked, feeling the stare of the human woman on her before she could have even opened her mouth.   
                “Skipper, I… Speaking about things that could make it messy…” she said softly before she looked at Shepard, their eyes meeting before they both nodded before walking towards the back of the sleeper pods.   
               Garrus clicked his mandibles and watched, wondering what had the other human in a state of unease. He however was distracted by the sharp sound of Tali yelling as Wrex took her dextro breakfast and downed it in one shot. “Hey! Was that really necessary?” he asked while Tali picked up her plastic tray and began to smack Wrex with it, who was barely blocking the assault and chortling.   
                Wrex looked at him, a light in his eyes as he fended off Tali’s attacks. “You know It’s a good thing you’re going groundside on Noveria Garrus.” He then caught the tray and leaned in, “You could do with some cooling off.”  
                Garrus narrowed his eyes at him, “What do you mean?”  
                “You know what I mean, when a human commander that has your blood running hot and fast is around and you begin to reek of pheromones.” He hummed, his eyes highly amused at Garrus surprised look.   
                “Tali, maybe we should let them talk in private?” asked Kaidan as he grabbed the Quarian’s arm and began to tug her away, “Here, I’ll trade in one of my rations to get you a new breakfast.” He offered gently, only then grabbing her attention.   
                “Really Kaidan? That’s _really_ nice of you, and I thought you were just some bosh’tet.” She chimed behind her mask before following him over to the elevator, so they could convince the ship’s merchant to trade them.   
                Garrus watched them go before he looked at Wrex, his eyes narrowed, and brow furrowed. “What are you on about? It’s not really a secret that Shepard and I are close.”   
                “Well no, it’s not, but I imagine that you two will be down there for a while. Noveria and its people are complicated, and it could take a few days for all of you two finish what needs to be done. You could say that this may be a good time for you to think about what it really is between you and Shepard.” Offered Wrex. “I may sound like I don’t know what I’m talking about… but I have a mate, I haven’t seen her in nearly four hundred years, but she and I are a thing none the less.”   
                Garrus rose a brow plate at the Krogan.   
                “I’m just saying to think about this, we’re all chasing a rogue specter who is trying to end life as we know it… it wouldn’t be too wrong to assume some of us may not make it back from this mission.” He explained. “Take it from someone who has the lifespan to waste time. With your short lives… would you want to keep going back and forth not having a name for whatever it is between you and Shepard?”  
                The Turian contemplated this for a moment, before his shoulders sagged slightly and he started looking at his hands, “I… suppose not… you make a good point Wrex.”   
                “I know.” Said the Krogan as he stood. Stretching, he pulled his arm to his chest, and then did the same with the other. “I may like to shoot faces and detonate biotics, but I have lived around a thousand years… give or take a decade.”   
                Garrus smirked before chuckling, “Give or take a decade huh?”  
                Wrex gave a light laugh before he nodded his farewells to Garrus and made his way over to the elevator. Leaving the young turian to contemplate what he had just been told.

 

“What do you need Ash?” asked Shepard once she knew they were out of earshot of anyone who had the gumption to eavesdrop. Her arms crossed over her chest as she leaned back slightly, lifting her heel for balance. It was a common stance to find Shepard in, a relaxed… but serious one.   
                The gunnery chief played with her fingers for a moment before she set her jaw, “You know we’re friends as well as coworkers right Shep?” she asked, when Shepard nodded she continued, “Permission to speak as a friend?”  
                “Granted.”  
                Sighing, Ashley gathered the confidence. “I’m worried about you, and Vakarian.” She said simply. “Not that I don’t support you two, I mean he makes you smile and relax like I’ve never seen you and that makes him a winner in my book.” She held up her hands, “The thing is you two are together a lot, outside of downtime… I just wonder if him being on missions with you constantly makes it harder on you? Like if something happ-“  
                “I’m gonna stop you right there Ashley.” Her tone was gentle, “Garrus being in the field with me would normally be something to be concerned about, I agree.” She moved her hand while she spoke, emphasizing her words, “However, as involved as we are, I don’t feel like it makes either of us weaker on the field. If anything, it makes us fight harder to protect the other and our other squad mate.”   
                Ashley listened, her brow furrowed as the commander talked.   
                “I guess how I’m trying to explain is…” she paused and contemplated for a moment on how to word this, “We don’t get in each other’s way. Instead of trying to keep each other out of danger all together, we just watch the other’s back. We’re in synch with each other, if I move one way, he makes the complimenting move.” Her voice got soft and light as she spoke, her eyes lighting up. “Ashley, I have never once felt so safe out there, I have never felt like someone had my back like he does.”   
                The shorter woman rose an eyebrow.   
                “Not to say you or anyone else doesn’t have my back!” she corrected herself with a nervous laugh, “Garrus though, He… gets me. I don’t have to say a word or make a motion and he is always where I need him. Granted not always where I want him, but he is always where I need him.” Once more she looks light, bright… the small smile on her face giving away to the amount of fondness she held for the Turian.   
                Watching Shepard talk about Garrus eased any worries Ashley had, “You really like him, don’t you?”  
                “Yes… more than I thought I could ever like anyone…” she smiled and shrugged her shoulders as her hands went into the pockets of her fatigues. The blush on her cheeks and that huge smile something so rarely seen on Commander Shepard’s face.   
                “Even with the talons and the plates? The sharp teeth?” She joked as she made claw hands and mock growled.   
                Shepard laughed again, “You don’t seem to mind them so much yourself these days. I distinctly remember you cuddling up to a certain red asshole just a couple days ago!”   
                Ashley pouted, “Don’t talk about that, my grandpa would roll over in his grave if he ever knew that I was growing fond of a Turian!”   
                “Times Change, and sometimes you meet the right people…” smiled Shepard. “Before I knew Garrus, you saw… I was much higher strung. Now… I have somewhere to retreat to when I need to breathe.”   
                Ashley looked over towards the Turian, who was scrolling through his omni-tool as he waited for Shepard. “I kind of know what you mean…”   
                “Having someone who likes the same things as you is nice huh? I heard Nihlus is a big fan of poetry.”   
                “He knows a lot about poetry: Asari, Turian, Human, and even Elcor! He can recite almost twenty by heart.” Smiled Ashley softly, color barely rising in her cheeks, “He said next time we get shore leave he’ll take me to this little corner club he knows of on the citadel.”   
                Shepard clapped Ashley on the shoulder, “Imagine that, you of all people on a date with a Turian?”   
                “Oh…. Shut it Shepard…” she couldn’t knock the smile off her own face though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always loved!


	56. Girlfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's his Girlfriend.  
> He's Her boyfriend  
> ...  
> Nihlus is a busy body

                “Shepard?”  
                “Yeah?” asked the woman as she looked up from the sink in the co-ed bathroom onboard the Normandy. She was freshly showered, wearing clean fatigue pants and a white tank. Her face had turned towards Garrus as he walked into the bathroom, her large brown eyes wide and curious.   
                He couldn’t help but think she was adorable with a toothbrush in her hand and foam around her mouth. Shepard was a mild mess of a human, but he found it endearing… even when she was half asleep and made no sense. Leaning against the doorframe he crossed his arms over his chest and gave her a warm turian smile. She stood for a moment, waiting for him to talk, before she just grinned at him and shrugged her shoulders.   
                He took his time taking her in. How did he want things with her to go? She was a Human… a totally different species. Most people from both species would highly disapprove of their relationship. Yet… he couldn’t bring himself to care. She had called him her boyfriend, and he had referred as himself to her boyfriend… but did that really make them an item? How did relationships work anyways?  
                “So… Noveria huh?” asked Garrus as he just watched her continue her grooming. “How long do you think we’ll be ground side?”  
                “I have no idea, probably more than three days though…” she told him after she’d spat out her toothpaste.   
                “Planning to give the crew shore leave?”   
                “Actually, Sending them UNC hunting. Nihlus can lead those just fine, and Ashley will back him up.” Her voice muffled as she dried off here mouth with a towel. “Why? Want to go on that instead?” she smirked.   
                He feigned contemplation before just smirking at her and tilting his head, “As if I would ever want to go anywhere without you.”   
                “Smooth talker.” she chimed at him as her arms came up and rested around his cowl. She forever would love the look of Garrus Vakarian out of his armor, wearing Turian leggings and a simple undershirt. He merely chuffed at her while wrapping his arms around her and before leaning his head down to press his forehead to hers. She accepted it, and returned the affection with a bright grin.   
                “So, what’s the plan Shepard?” asked Garrus as he rested his chin atop her head and just soaked up the feeling of holding the women he cared for close.   
                Shepard nuzzled into his throat before she breathed in deeply, “Kind of winging it, I don’t know what to expect down there.”   
                “Sounds like a plan to me, it’s worked for us before.”   
                “Unfortunately I really never have a plan…” she smirked, “As you know well by now.”   
                “Oh, I know.” He chuckled under his breath before he took a step back and let go of her. “Shepard?...”  
                “What’s on your mind Garrus?” she asked softly, feeling him rolling over something in his mind.   
                He looked down at her, eyes soft before he coughed into his hand and looked away from her. Suddenly he was unable to find the words to ask her what she really thought of them. What he really thought of them. He was about to tell her to never mind, however when he looked at her again, with her big brown eyes concerned for him, her hands settling on his waist…  
                “How do you feel… about us?” he asked softly, barely a whisper.   
                Shepard looked at him, her eyes scanning over his face before she gave a very tender smile. “I quite partial to the idea of ‘us’ Garrus.”  
                “Are you now?” he asked, hearing the coy tone to her voice.   
                “Yes, so much, that I really like the feeling of referring to you as my boyfriend.”   
                “Hmmm, and this interspecies thing doesn’t bother you?”  
                “No.” she shrugged before running her hands down his arms and gripping his hands, her eyes admiring his two fingers and just how comfortable to felt to lace her five with his. “Does it bother you?”  
                He rumbled, enjoying the feeling her ministrations gave him, “Only in consideration of you.”  
                “I’m fine Garrus, happy even.”  
                “Good.” He swallowed thickly, “I have a lot of respect for you Shepard, not only are you someone I care for… you’re my commander. I look up to you.”  
                “I have a lot of respect for you too Garrus.” She smirked, the corner of her mouth rising, “If it’s too much for you, to have me as your commander and as your girlfriend… I understand.”  
                He was silent for a moment before he purred at her and leaned down, brushing his head against hers, “You called yourself my girlfriend.”  
                “Well that’s what I am.” She smiled, her eyes closing at the contact. “I’m Commander Shepard, and the proud girlfriend of my turian boyfriend.”

 

                There was a little more pep in his step after having talked to Shepard. The Solidarity of knowing that she felt the same as him, and them both being able to see past this being anything to do with a commander and her soldier…  
                He proudly stood in his spot, to her right and slightly behind her, as they waited for Liara to step off the Normandy, and Nihlus to stop his fussing. While he wanted to reach for her hand, he resisted the urge. Right now she had the be the commander, there would be plenty of time later when they were off duty.  
                “Nihlus, I’m gonna be fine.” Smiled Shepard softly as she reached and patted the red turian’s arm. “Listen, go on some UNC missions, or maybe complete a couple of those smaller missions for me?” she asked.   
                Nihlus clicked a mandible at her, “Oh I know I can handle that, besides, I got Ashley here to be my guns for me, and you left me a very capable Krogan as well.” His voice was stern, however he finally sighed and just looked up, “Okay well, here’s a credit chit.” He handed her the small chip, “At least be careful, and professional? Knowing you, you were gonna set up shop in a dumpy econo-motel.”   
                She couldn’t deny that she wasn’t willing to spend money on something fancy like lodgings.  
                “That’s what I thought. No, Noveria may be a cold as ass planet, but it’s a very fancy one. Here people don’t skimp, and the best way for you to get things done here is to blend in.” he explained. “I called ahead, you have a suite at Etoile.”   
                “You’re being really generous…” Shepard leaned back and squinted at him, feelings like he was up to something. “What are you up to Nihlus?”   
                “Nothing.”   
                “…Liar.”  
                “NOTHING!”   
                “I don’t believe you.”   
                “Oh Please, Shepard, really?”  
                “Mmmmmm….” She groaned at him before motioning that she was watching him and then began to walk towards the first clearance stand.   
                Garrus sighed as he motioned to pick up his own rucksack before Nihlus grabbed his arm. “Take Advantage of this.”   
                “What?”   
                “You heard me, I’m paying for a nice place for you and Shepard to set up base camp while you have to navigate the hostile waters of Noverian business and society.” He whispered, “Relieve some tension. Scratch the itch.”  
                Garrus gaped at Nihlus for a moment before he heard Shepard call him. “Spirits Nihlus you’re a busy body.” He hissed before jogging over to Shepard. Like he needed Nihlus’ help to heat things up between him and Shepard.   
                Even if… that would be nice… to… Blow off some steam with her.


	57. Seperated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus pouts  
> Shepard is surprised  
> Liara is clueless

                She stood for a moment, in shock at the place that stood before her. Large brown eyes wide with wonder as she looked at the crystalline doors, the lit-up script above the front doors that elegantly read, _etoile_. The hotel itself was built into a rock face that seemed to sparkle like the night sky itself. Shepard could only say, she was enchanted.   
                Garrus wasn’t much better, however he did manage to keep his mouth and mandibles from going slack. Was this the kin fog place that Specters could stay at more often? Had he known this, he probably would have tried harder to become one.   
                “Are you coming Shepard? Garrus?” asked Liara as she stood infront of the doors. Her hands behind her back and holding her small bag. None of them had much to bring. Most of it armor and weapons. Liara even less than her companions, considering she carried only a pistol and some light armor.   
                “Uh… Yeah…” gaped Shepard before she looked at Garrus, “Can you believe Nihlus sprung for this?” she asked curiously, her tone hushed as she leaned close to him in order for the exchange to be private.   
                Garrus flared his mandibles at her, “Well, maybe sometimes that asshole has good ideas?” Shepard could only put a hand over her mouth and smile at him. She couldn’t deny that Nihlus could be an asshole, but he was still her close friend, and someone she considered family.   
                With that, she used her pinky finger and gripped Garrus’ last digit on his hand before pulling him along with her to enter the Hotel. After all, she was excited to experience something other than barracks, a sleeper pod, or the cramped mako back seat.

                “Hello, I’m Liara T’Soni.” Smiled the Asari as she walked up to the front desk. “I’m here to check in Commander Shepard, her arrangements were made under the name Nihlus Kyrik?” asked the female as she smiled sweetly. Her hands behind her back and holding her rucksack. She’d taken the liberty to check them in, since now Shepard and Vakarian were standing with their mouths open and gazing at the decorative garden wall to their right.   
                Liara could only smile at their reactions. She herself wasn’t too accustomed to the finer things in life, however her mother being a matriarch and her own doctorate left her with a good sum of credits, and at times she would indulge herself.   
                The desk clerk, an Asari of a deep plum color smiled at her. “Certainly, I’ll just have to verify that Commander Shepard is as Identified as.”   
                Liara nodded before reaching back and grabbing Shepard by the arm, yanking her forward. This separated her discreet finger holding with Garrus and shocked the human commander back into reality. “Oh! Um… I’m Commander Shepard.” Said the female before she presented her omni-tool and then stood nervously. She felt very out of place in this situation.   
                Garrus was yanked forward briefly but steadied himself, before he narrowed his eyes at the back of Liara’s head and clicked his mandibles in annoyance. He’d been enjoying the closeness of Shepard and their… little affection.   
                “Welcome Commander Shepard.” Chimed the Asari, “Welcome to Etoile. I have you booked for the _Taliera_ suite. IT comes with two bedrooms, one being a king size bed, the other being a queen. A sitting room already filled with Spectre Kyrik’s specifications, as well as a fully stocked bar and kitchenette, though we have also prepared a tab at our In house Restaurant _Arnav_ ready for you and your companions.”   
                “That… seems like a lot…” laughed Shepard nervously as she scratched the back of her neck.   
                The Asari gave a forced, light laugh, “Well yes, Spectre Kyrik has been a patron of our Hotel for many years. It’s our pleasure to be able to continue to service him, even if for the benefit of his… friends…”  
                Shepard swallowed before giving a half smile, “Well, thank you.”  
                “Our Pleasure Commander, If you’ll please follow Mr. Yuja here, he’ll escort you to your suite!”   
                A Salarian, deep green in color, walked up wearing a rather posh looking uniform, behind him another Salarian pushing a luggage cart followed. “Please allow us to carry your bags.” Shepard could only follow Liara’s example and placed her rucksack on the cart. She watched as Garrus did the same before the both followed the Salarians towards the elevator.

                As it turned out, things only got worse… for Garrus. He was sure that Nihlus hadn’t counted on Liara pulling a “girls” move and having her share the main bedroom. Apparently, it was a human thing to be divided by the sexes? Not that Turians didn’t, however it usually only happened in showering situations. He’d been looking forward to sharing a real bed with Shepard… not just the cramped back seat of the Mako for a few hours at night before they both had to rise before the rest of the crew and separate.   
                Not that they were much of a secret…  
                That didn’t stop them from being a little more discreet however…  
                The Turian male huffed as he threw his bag on the bed and then sat down, his head going to his hands. He was a little more than disappointed. This would have been his time to be close to Shepard in ways they couldn’t on the Normandy. He would be able to get a little bit of that comfort he’d had with her back at his apartment. The Feeling of domestic comfort…  
                That wasn’t something he’d ever would have thought that he’d enjoy. Before Shepard he was a one-night stand kind of guy… once in a blue moon. It’d been nearly five years since he’d seen any sort of intimate attention from another. He’d be lying if he didn’t admit to having wanted to maybe break the dry spell these next few days… since they were have supposed to be sharing a room.   
                He sighed once more before standing and beginning to strip off his armor. Tossing it aside, he then shoved his under-suit off his upper body and let it hand around his waist. While rolling his shoulders he walked over to a large window looking out over the frozen pale landscape and let his mind wander; mostly over what could have been about sharing a real bed with Shepard… and sniper modifications.

                She forced a smile as she stood by the desk of the larger bedroom. Shepard had been hoping to share this room with Garrus, or even the smaller one, she didn’t care. She’d been hoping to be able to stretch out next to her long legged, warm, turian boyfriend.   
                Not share a large bed with an Asari. Liara was a soft, warm, lovely Asari… but none the less she wasn’t Garrus. Hell, Shepard would have even taken to sleeping next to Kaidan over Liara at this point… and she knew that would lead to hands resting in places that she wasn’t too fond of having five fingers anymore.   
                Shepard was used to three fingered hands, and rough plating now. She was used to having her face buried in warm, thick turian hide. She was used to the feeling on a keel bone sometimes digging into her back.   
                _She was used to Garrus._  
                She… was used to the feeling of home again.   
                She already missed it…  
                Liara was a nice person, sweet and very smart. However, she wasn’t the ideal bed partner to Shepard. She could also appreciate the fact that Liara seemed to want to spend time with her. Maybe some girl time wouldn’t be so bad…  
                Why couldn’t girl time mean they have sperate rooms?

                With a sigh, Echo Shepard slumped her shoulders and gave in. She _guessed_ she could play along with this. What was the harm in being friendly with another female after all? It wasn’t like she got much of a chance to be “girly” as a soldier anyways. That was what Liara intended… Right?

                Right?

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this for myself. Thank you for Reading, comments always appreciated.  
> -Writing this to the best of my abilities without an editor or Beta. Please excuse all Grammatical and Spelling Errors.


End file.
